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The Slave Girl
Author: Mirabile Dectu
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(Added on Mar 4, 2005)
(This month 56096 readers) (Total 86714 readers) |
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A Girl is captured Auctioned used and punished. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 7 |
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29% |
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14% |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (4.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (4/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (2/10) |
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| Reviewer:
mallte
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 13, 2005 |
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Excellent story (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
longrover
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 24, 2005 |
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Good premise, but it's all telling. Surely she has conversations with someone, something more revealing than straight description. (3/10)
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| Reviewer:
Robin Lane
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 6, 2005 |
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Maribile, I have three words for you...
"Strunk and White's"
(2/10)
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 5, 2005 |
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a 4 is generous, the paragraphs are real hard to follow, which in turn makes the story hard to read, it had great potential but to me died after the 1st paragragh (4/10)
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| Reviewer:
boccaccio2000g
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 5, 2005 |
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This is a real shame. The author seems to have a great deal of imagination and I think there may well be a very nice story buried in these endless paragraphs. But few will read much of it. There are far too few paragraphs and few, if any, quotation marks -- although there is plenty of conversation. With these drawbacks the story is virtually unreadable. Mirabile, it would only take a good editor an hour or two to improve this story immmeasurably. Please do that and re-submit it -- and see the difference in response you will get. Good luck! (4/10)
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| Reviewer:
chksng19
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 5, 2005 |
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I made it through the first sentence, which was actually 3 or 4 all run together. I finished about 4 paragraphs, because some folks just have a hard time getting started, but once they get rolling it's ok. Not here.
I read 4 more paragraphs about halfway through, and the last 3. There is no way to get much of the story, and it seems a shame to waste all the time the author took writing the story.
See if you can find someone who will collaborate, or at least help edit, the story. It would be a major time investment to do so, but might be worth it to get your story told. (2/10)
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| Reviewer:
Dancing Hateful Thin
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 5, 2005 |
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Look: While there may be an erotic story somewhere in there, the grammar and punctuation are just utterly nonexistent. I can't read it, much less appreciate it. (3/10)
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