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The Bookstore Adventure
Author: CLA86
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(Added on Jul 30, 2004)
(This month 65151 readers) (Total 86803 readers) |
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Looking for BDSM in all the right places. Use to be slave looking again for the right Master/Mistress. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 7 |
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43% |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (6/10) |
| Average
Rating: (6/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (8/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (5/10) |
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| Reviewer:
slaveneedledick
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 17, 2005 |
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The plot was excellent and the use of a "cliff" hanger was excellent as well. Hopefully one day the author witll write a follow on story. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
ropebinder
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 14, 2005 |
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If I have a common complaint about Internet erotic fiction, it's that almost all authors spend the entire story setting up the scenario and then end it when the main characters meet. Such is true with this story. There's not much, if any, character development, and the story doesn't go anywhere. CLA86 is a decent writer, but this one left me hanging. (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
footsub69
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 12, 2004 |
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left hanging without a continuation on what happens for the next 72 hours (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
bracemaiden
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 4, 2004 |
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As the action heats up, CLA86 apparently gets too wrapped up to remember paragraphs. The plot is a bit hokey - the owner of a sex store deciding to dominate a customer without asking? Maybe it's just not my thing; I'm not buying it.
I have to agree with Alex about the verb conjugation - it just didn't work well. (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
Alex Bragi
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 3, 2004 |
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This frustrated me like I just can’t put in to words. This story, written by an author with a wicked and warped imagination, has so much potential that just didn't come to fruition.
To begin with, it’s written in the first person/present tense. First person, although it’s not everyone’s favourite style, can often give a story a certain ‘chatty’ and intimate feel, however, unless you’ve been nominated for the Pulitizer recently, present tense should be avoid at all times. It’s just so damned awkward to read that many readers will back click immediately they see it. Many of the paragraphs are just simply too long and arduous to read, especially of a computer screen. And, the author needs a good stylist/editor to ‘tidy’ things up.
(6/10)
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 30, 2004 |
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i do not noramaly read this type story, it was ok, but as the story went on the paragraphs got way to long (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
crickette
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 30, 2004 |
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The Bookstore Adventure was pretty good. It is nice to see everyone get what they what they want for a change (5/10)
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