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The Cleansing of Cheryl Lynn
Author: Frankenbear
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(Added on Jun 22, 2004)
(This month 10406 readers) (Total 23494 readers) |
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Story of a young wife of a fireman and the punishment that she receives when she is naughty. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 4 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (7/10) |
Average
Rating:  (7.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (8/10) |
| Lowest
Rating: (7/10) |
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| Reviewer:
bracemaiden
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 2, 2004 |
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I have to agree that Frankenbear has apparently forgotten the use of paragraphs. However, I enjoyed the playful air of the writing, and the creative use of the four-poster bed for something other than just spread-eagling. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
funtime37
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 23, 2004 |
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i thought it was the begining of a great story with more to come. i agree that the big blocks could be broken up but the style of the story i my opion was great i hope to read more chapters soon. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
Alex Bragi
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 23, 2004 |
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It’s a good story, and I enjoyed reading it. I like your ‘chatty’ style. It reads as if you’re sitting with your reader sharing all your naughty little secrets, and that in itself gives this story a good deal of appeal.
Lord Douche is right, a few more breaks would have made it an ‘easier’ read. Large blocks of text like that are hard on the eyes when reading off a computer screen.
You’ve used a lot of exact measurements. People who know a lot more about these things than me say -- avoid using them. Why? Because 34C-25-30 tends to sound a little sterile for most readers. It’s a red hot bod right? So don’t hold back -- describe the curves, the hips, and the tits! And, readers like me, who live aside the USA and are in metrics, haven’t got a clue how tall 5 5 is.
On the super nit picky side, numerous times, I felt you teased me, the reader, but you just didn’t quite follow through. e.g. When I read ‘minor surgery’, I began to feel all nervous and excited at the same time, in anticipation, only it was over in a matter of a couple of sentences. I guarantee most of the sick little bunnies who come to this site would appreciate a whole lot more detail, here, and on many other aspects of your story. :)
(7/10)
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| Reviewer:
Lord Douche
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 22, 2004 |
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Could have done with a few breaks, as the big blocks of text were hard to read, but apart from that it's a nice story :)
The codes are pretty breif, some more would be enema, bondage, and humiliation (7/10)
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