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Love, Honor and Obey
Author: Jamec
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(Added on Jun 2, 2004)
(This month 55892 readers) (Total 77123 readers) |
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A husband has had enough of threats and complaints from his wife, he decides to have her trained as the perfect wife. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 8 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (7/10) |
Average
Rating:  (7.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (9/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (6/10) |
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| Reviewer:
crickette
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 27, 2004 |
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Nice start. I cannot wait to see how it plays out.You didn't say much about the present situation but the wife more than feels us in. I like that you just didn't ship her off, even though she deserved it. She had plenty of chances. I also love the no-nonsense attitude of her instructor. You definately have set the scence. You have got a solid idea and the beginning profiles of strong charactrs. Just remember , don't stray from the original reason the wife was brought there. I look forward to part II. (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
teamster
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 1, 2004 |
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okay for a start... marred by a few typos. (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
littleslut
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 18, 2004 |
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good start cant wait to see where this is going just a few typos like self in the place of the word shelf but nothing a good bit of proof reading cant get rid of! (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
BlackRad!sh
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 11, 2004 |
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Great start...more please! (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 6, 2004 |
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Great idea, but in real life it would never happen
like an adult erotic version of The Stepford Wives" (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
GaryWilcox
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 4, 2004 |
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There's a good story beginning to take shape you gotta do something about the run-on sentences they really kill the
That was actually painful to type! <g>
Seriously, the story itself is brilliant, it just needs spit and polish from the author to make it worthwhile. Edit the story and clean up those run ons... don't forget "show don't tell"... having your protagonist read a posted sign that lists the rules and marking her distress and horror as it dawns on her that she's really lost to the world and in the hands of a cruel master adds both to believability and to mood. In other words, Looking forward to a heavier, more intense draft of this someday. (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
j_michell
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 3, 2004 |
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Interesting start. I can't wait to see what happens. (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
ready2kneel
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 2, 2004 |
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A favorite fantasy but not often explored in such detail. (8/10)
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