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The MOB
Author: Paladin
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(Added on Mar 30, 2004)
(This month 11586 readers) (Total 22036 readers) |
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A study in what you can achieve with a group of like minded people. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 3 |
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67% |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (5.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (6/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (7/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (5/10) |
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| Reviewer:
lex ludite
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 1, 2004 |
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This novel treatment of a standard plot is greatly appreciated by this reader. Unfortunately the author either never bothers to read what he as written, or is having a good time at the expense of the reader. I'm sort of leaning to the latter premise, which colors my rating. (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
Faibhar
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 30, 2004 |
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There is a fine story here, but the reader does have to look for it through all kinds of things like the use of " ' "'s (in describing the "mob"'s various functions much like a flight deck crew on a carrier wears differnt clothes to indicate their functions), frequent incorrect spelling, a frat house mentality driving the scenario, and so forth.
If the reader is willing to ignore the above and search for the premise, then it is can prove to be a worthy use of time. (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
chksng19
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 30, 2004 |
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Paladin has 16 stories here in the library, some great, some needing a little polishing. This story has an interesting premise, and a unique way of accomplishing a plebean kidnapping task.
The story itself, though, has highs and lows. Lots more detail, especially in "breaking" the victims, would make it hold the reader's attention better. Spelling, capitalization, and grammatical errors distract, and both here and at other sites are lots of volunteer editors to help catch what you miss.
The story opens itself to being a serial, and with just a little more time "fixing" this section, could be a high scorer.
You've got lots of talent, Paladin. Take the seconds needed to be courteous to your readers; fix the concerns.
Looking forward to an update, and a higher score! (5/10)
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