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Not Tattered, But Torn
Author: crimson
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(Added on Mar 21, 2004)
(This month 20874 readers) (Total 36600 readers) |
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Intense tale of a slave, taken by a sadistic Dom, and brutally used to torture her own Master. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 6 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (6.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (7/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (4/10) |
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| Reviewer:
cerdic
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 25, 2004 |
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The story was extremely predictable. Good dom saves his slave kidnapping by evil bad dom. Completely two dimensional characters. The story wasn't realistic, and seemed to have a section talken right out of Charlies Angels. (5/10)
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- Replied by:
crimson
(Edit) (Mar 25, 2004)
- Thank you to everyone who posted comments and critiques! I value both positive and negative feedback, because I can't improve without both!
I'll watch for grammatical errors, though I will point out that a person should be careful not to have errors in their own comments when criticizing the author's errors! *smiles*
Thank you SO much, nova, for your kind, kind words!!!!
I too know the depth of internet relationships and was speaking from experience with such things. However, given my audience, I'll be sure to watch out for HNG-type vibes!
Cerdic, perhaps you could share which parts were predictable? I realize that any story with a "happy" ending is, in general, predictable. I had two endings for this one and my focus group (aka my bdsm buddies) chose the happy ending as opposed to the less predictable one. I hope my other stories don't strike you as something from Charlie's Angels. I'll be sure to throw in some better twists!
Again, thank you to everyone who posted or emailed me!!!!
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| Reviewer:
lex ludite
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 24, 2004 |
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Although I'm not into this particular genre, I do appreciate a well written story. The tale does generate some heat and this particular version of the universal plot does provide some tension in the relationship. (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
chksng19
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 24, 2004 |
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Good, readable story. Quick moving, as a short-short should be. Enjoyable. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
fetish101
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 23, 2004 |
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The idea was good, the execution was lacking. There were too many grammatical errors to list in one review. Most notably, you can't start a sentence with the work 'and'! <br>This rating is based on my opinion of the writer's knowledge of English grammar and its application. I can't really get into a story if I have to wade through innumerable errors.<br> (4/10)
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| Reviewer:
nova
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 23, 2004 |
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Almost painfully intense. The subtext, the tale of the both the darkness and the light of a D/s relationship is the thing that stands out for me. i have to disagree with arain though...having experienced an internet relationship, i know full well that love, pain, hurt, happiness are just as real as if you were sharing the same room as that person. In fact they are often magnified, because the imagination is a powerful tool, and the mental image of your loved one is often far more powerful than if you were simply with them in body. And, really, that isn't hng-ish at all. A horny net geek would be after cheap gratification with no strings. The love of which this tale speaks is a whole different level. (No, i'm not her agent ;) P
That's what makes this tale shine for me...the love and the passion behind it. (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
arain
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 22, 2004 |
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wow...that was a sad story that had a beautiful ending. I thought it really showed the love of a Master and his slave...yet found it odd that they were just internet partners. how was she able to take all tha pian and know all the physical stuff if she was just online? oh well, good story...just kind of hng-ish :) (7/10)
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