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Ponymaking
Author: Sawa
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(Added on Mar 15, 2004)
(This month 36055 readers) (Total 59166 readers) |
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Ponymaking |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 6 |
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17% |
33% |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (5/10) |
| Average
Rating: (5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (7/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (3/10) |
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| Reviewer:
SirThomas
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 6, 2007 |
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Typos hurt this story a lot. The mutilation isn't to my liking either but that's a matter of taste rather than outright criticism.
Read some of the other pony stories out there and see how they go. Use the well rated stories as a learning experience and your next one will be better. (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
bracemaiden
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 21, 2004 |
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There are a few problems with this story, and the writing style. The author need not fear paragraphs. BDSM library does not charge extra for those who use them. The same rule applies for sentences. Rule of thumb - don't use many sentences more than 1 line on a normally spaced page. The author also distances the readers by the constant use of "I". Varying sentence structure will interest more people.
Spellcheck will be of limited use, English is stupid about words like "meat" and "meet"... (4/10)
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 7, 2004 |
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i love ponygirl stories, but this one did not do as much for me as others have, hopefully in the future if you do write more you will improve, but as a first story, it was good (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
chksng19
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 16, 2004 |
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Work on grammatical changes, checking for appropriate words, perhaps get an editor to check. Story is hard to follow, simply because of those concerns. Interesting content will go nowhere if people won't read it! (3/10)
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| Reviewer:
castle2001
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 16, 2004 |
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Great Content. Needs some improvement in writing skills but for a writer composing in a foreign language, a good start.A spell checker will not change leather to later.
Do more in the same genre. (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
Moggy
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 16, 2004 |
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A 4 point rating might not be what a first-time contributor wants to see, but it's something to build on.
The usual comments on writing by ESLs apply here, but there is something that can be done to make the story more readable without changing a single word:
Paragraphs! Why is it that writers have such an aversion to starting a new paragraph? It's so basic - all you do is hit the return key. Give us readers a break! In fact give us lots of them. After every two or three sentences would be fine. (4/10)
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