|
|
|
|
|
Deepest Pleasure
Author: trelana{Kal}
|
| |
(Added on Mar 12, 2004)
(This month 34381 readers) (Total 46314 readers) |
| |
She signs herself over to the deepest pleasure and pain of training as a sexual slave, awakening the desire to please only One, her Master (includes breath control). |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 4 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| 1 |
2 |
3 |
4 |
5 |
6 |
7 |
8 |
9 |
10 |
| 0% |
0% |
0% |
25% |
0% |
25% |
25% |
0% |
25% |
0% |
|
Weighed
Average (?):  (6.5/10) |
| Average
Rating: (6.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (9/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (4/10) |
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 18, 2005 |
| |
i enjoyed the story (7/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Curtis
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 17, 2004 |
| |
The code does say 'slow', and it's not too slow. I have other issues. The author appears to be unaware of the existance of the word 'too', and uses 'to' for ppurposes for which it was not designed. Also, 'cloths' was frequently, but not always, misspelled 'clothes', which are very different. Commas were misplaced, and in some places should've been replaced with semi-colons, but that's not a major issue. Overall, punctuation was above average, spelling average and grammar very good. Now, about the story: It needs to begin somehow, so I accept how trelana gets us into the action. Once the action starts, I had a very hard time with the heroine repeatedly going on about how she didn't sign up for this. 'This' was pretty mild, and she certainly did sign up for it, by swallowing the two pills. I'm mildly interested in what she expected to happen, but not interested enough to read further. Good luck, trelana. I'll take a look at the next story you write, but this one's not for me. (6/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
e.e. norcod
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 14, 2004 |
| |
YES! There is no such thing as a BDSM story that developes too slowly. Sorry, bisarah, but a true sadist allows sufficient time for the victim to fully realize the depth of her impending degredation and savor her torment. It is very difficult for an author to stretch out the initial stages of the submissive's torment. Ah! but what slow, protracted agony.
In homage to my own kink, I do expect that there be significanct corporal punishment of this female to come. However, I am not the author.
My rating can be expected to change as the story developes. What are the thoughts of the other readers of this story. (9/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
Desprado
(Edit) (Mar 14, 2004)
- I am not the author but have posted the story on the author's (trelana) behalf. Hopefully that will be resolved shortly, but I do know that she intends to expand this work much further. Because it is not really a short story but a longer work in process, I think that accounts for the slower pace. But I will make sure she knows of all the feedback.
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
bisarah
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 12, 2004 |
| |
Way too slow!!! (4/10)
|
|
|
About 