|
|
|
|
|
Guest
Author: Kray
|
| |
(Added on Mar 6, 2004)
(This month 100469 readers) (Total 125936 readers) |
| |
Three beauties were over heard by the wrong person while they are talking about female orgasms, or was he the right person? |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 5 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| 1 |
2 |
3 |
4 |
5 |
6 |
7 |
8 |
9 |
10 |
| 20% |
40% |
20% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
20% |
0% |
0% |
|
Weighed
Average (?):  (3.5/10) |
| Average
Rating: (3.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (8/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (1/10) |
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
jbowler65
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 12, 2004 |
| |
The big problem is that this story is difficult to read. However, if you take the time, the content is quite good. An editor would greatly help this story and in time as the author becomes more proficient in English, the stories will improve greatly. Keep working at it because the ideas are good. (3/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
teamster
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 7, 2004 |
| |
obviously english is not the writers first language. this makes the story difficult to stay with. also for me it was insufficiently hardcore. (2/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 6, 2004 |
| |
despite those who are concerned about your english, yes it does have to be improved, but i will not let that be my only reason for a good review
english is a hard language to learn, but the story itself is what i am intrested in.
If the punctuation was bad then we have a problem, but i like the basics of the story (8/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
Kray
(Edit) (Mar 8, 2004)
- A special thanks to mkemse that very often supports me with his straight critics and his appreciations.
Kray
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
bracemaiden
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 6, 2004 |
| |
I have to agree with e.e. norcod - Work on proficiency in english would be a large help. This is written marginally better than a free translation program. I do have to admit that it is a lot better than if I tried to write some erotic literature in Spanish, but it is still lacking many grammar basics.
However, I do think that the internet can be used to correct these mistakes. A willing fluent person can make this into a much more legible story, from which, if Kray chose to do so, learn from gramatical oops'es. (2/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
Kray
(Edit) (Mar 11, 2004)
- Polite critics are always appreciated.
I know my English problems, after my first post ("Mine") I was almost to leave, but I also received public and private encouragements, someone really rassuring and I've decided to go through.
I'm persuaded that if someone would be so kind to send me the corrections of not more than an half page of my work, I could improve faster (or simply improving!).
I don’t need to have whole a chapter, but only few sentences, the right form against my wrong form. I would be so grateful.
Thanks in any case
Kray
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
e.e. norcod
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 6, 2004 |
| |
Sorry Kray, you really need to work on your English. English is a difficult language to master. You need an editor to go over your writing sentence by sentence before you submit wour writing. I am afraid that the internet is not a very good forum to try to learn how to write. You need to work face to face with someone who can go over your copy with a red pencil as the two of you sit together. Good luck! Someday after your skill has improved, I hope to read some of your stories on this site but right now you need to find an English instructor. (1/10)
|
|
|
About 