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Denise's Summer of Slavery
Author: Avery Childs
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(Added on Feb 27, 2004)
(This month 28384 readers) (Total 68104 readers) |
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The first in what I hope to be a series of Summer of Slavery stories. Denise spends an entire summer at the mercy of her two brothers. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 7 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (5.5/10) |
| Average
Rating: (5.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (6/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (4/10) |
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| Reviewer:
theusedgirl1201
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 26, 2005 |
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Ok first you couldnt even keep your characters ages straight! Is Eric 15 or 14! You said he was both. Also you need lots of work on spelling and grammer! Plus needs more detail and even though its long its VERY VERY rushed!! For instance u just said she gave jake a blow job. She made eric and jake both cum. Your luck i even gave u a 4! (4/10)
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| Reviewer:
jbowler65
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 8, 2004 |
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A good first attempt. Plan the story line out a little better and try to work details out instead of keeping things general or unanswered. Also, try not to be repetative. (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
Masquer48
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 2, 2004 |
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Denise cries more than my wife! OK to put her in bondage for a long time but reader should feel her pain or anguish. Had some good moments, but not very many. After a while, story got caught in a loop. Hope in next part, Dad or Mom more creative than sons. (4/10)
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 2, 2004 |
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I had great hopes for the story, one problem i had was it seemed to concentrate on her bondage all the time with limited space given to what realy happens to her, i like boundage but it seemed to me that every other paragraph she was retied, kinds of repeative.
(6/10)
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| Reviewer:
e.e. norcod
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 1, 2004 |
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Lex come out and just say it. This is a story that would look great on outline and is competently written but in actual execution is boring. Yes the first truly boring BDSM story I have ever read. The bad thing is usually when I pan a story I can offer ways to make it better. This time I cannot. Sorry, excellent attempt at a story but a bad review. (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
lex ludite
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 27, 2004 |
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This one has its moments, but not enough of them. I like the idea of Denise being an abused child, but nothing was done with this fact in the story. Her brothers came across as budding sadists, but their routines still need lots of work. Over all the story seemed to be uneven, long periods of tanning (that one made no sense to this reader) and isolation, then short periods of brutal rapes, almost as if the author hadn't really planned out what was going to happen to Denise during the 77 days of her slavery. A lot of the story was repetitive, which caused this reviewer to want to jump ahead in hopes of finding something new to enjoy. The concept is a good one, albeit not very original, but the execution left a great deal to be desired. I would hope that in future installments Denise would interact with all of the family, including her shadowy mom. Now that would be something to look forward to. In passing I would also like to compliment the author for producing something that was well written and nearly free of the usual gaffes that get in the way of one's focus. Finally how old is the younger brother, 14 or 15? (6/10)
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