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E and Sir
Author: Sadistic_Master
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(Added on Jan 22, 2004)
(This month 56131 readers) (Total 70869 readers) |
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E is a painslut and slave to a man she's never seen. his friend J watches over her to make sure his demands are carried out this first chapter is just one story in the (hopefully) series. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 7 |
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| 1 |
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7 |
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14% |
29% |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (7.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (8/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (9/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (6/10) |
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 26, 2008 |
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please continue this (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
Nuditarian
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 7, 2004 |
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Hot story. Hope to see more from you. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
Curtis
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 5, 2004 |
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You got the '7' because this story is hot, but your technical skills need work. You had misspellings that spellcheck should've caught, and your capitalization seems random. You have sentences that start uncapitalized and words capitalized in the middle of sentences. '8' for hot, '5' for writing skills. (7/10)
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- Replied by:
Sadistic_Master
(Edit) (Feb 5, 2004)
- Well Curtis,
Thanks for the review of the story, I wasn't aware that spelling and grammar lent so much to the overall story.
As for spell check, I just reformatted my hard drive due to issues with the computer as a whole.
My inabillity to use "windows update, the constant "Blue Screen of Death" (BSD) Spell check and word count not working properly and a few other issues.
While I commend you on your impecible English skills, I ask that you and everyone else accept my humble apologies for not going through the whole story again and manually checking the spelling and grammar... however, as I'm sure you'll agree, that is a task that is so mundane and mind-numbing that very few people wish to undertake it.
At this I'd like to point out that while I had the patience to do so, I simply did not have the time.
The next few chapters will be triple spell-checked for accuracy I assure you! =]
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| Reviewer:
boccaccio2000g
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 31, 2004 |
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Wow, after reading e.e.'s review, I almost want to rate the review itself. I would second most of his observations but would emphasize that to me the essence of good fiction is good characters. Too many writers spend too great a percentage of their time conjuring up interesting costumes, or clever devices, intricate bondages or esoteric torments -- at the neglect of characterization. Those elements can certainly enrich a story, but if one puts stick figures in those costumes and bondages etc, the result remains a story about stick figures in fancy costumes, bondages etc etc. Give your characters depth, description, and dialogue and they will enliven the most sedate setting. I'd like to commend the author for his earnest reply to e.e. The road to improvement begins with the recognition of one's weak points (which we all have, of course, although we don't always acknowledge them). Keep at it, SM! (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
e.e. norcod
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 25, 2004 |
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First you should realize that I generally adjust my rating up or down as the story developes.<br>Second, the work needs significant improvement as to character development, color and realism, and the balance between story development versus action. Hopefully as you develope as a writer things will get better.<br>Third, specific action suggestions. As searching elsewhere on this or other sites will reveal, I am a firm believer that naughty girls and women deserve corporal punishment. And by that I do not mean just a nasty hand spanking. The essential elements of corporal punishment are setting (domestic, scholastic, commercial, judicial or even recreational), exposure (often partial), bondage (none to extreme), implement and anatomical location. A classic story will often proceed from the mild (domestic, only the buttocks exposed, a strap) to the severe (judicial, naked, painfully bound in the "diaper" position, the vulva, a whip).<br>A final word of advice. Do not attempt to go too far in a single chapter. Take time to develop erin's character, employment, motivation and above all, short and long term reactions to her adventures. The same thing can be said for her tormentors. Likewise, spend time describing her surroundings and above all, the implements and furniture used for her bondage and punishment. If you have the knowledge and skill, describe in detail her physiologically and psychological reactions. And how she is changed by the experience for either the better or worse. Lastly, do not be afraid to extend the benefits of corporal punishment to the girls and ladies around her.<br>Good luck and keep writing! (7/10)
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- Replied by:
Sadistic_Master
(Edit) (Jan 25, 2004)
- That certainly was by far the most in-depth and encompasing review that I've ever received from anyone whohas ever read anything of mine.
Your honest candor is most appreciated. after all, if not for a fair and open exchange of thoughts and a sharing of knowledge and experience we would not grow individually or as a society.
I am taking much more time to develop the next chapter(s) and thinking about perhaps creating a prequel as a set-up since the introduction of characters in the story was weak at best in my opinion.
Funny how sometimes you just have to walk away from something you've written and come back to it in order to read it through fresh eyes.
Again, thanks for the fine review and pointers!
SM
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| Reviewer:
jbowler65
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 24, 2004 |
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Good beginning. Hope to see more soon. (8/10)
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- Replied by:
Sadistic_Master
(Edit) (Jan 24, 2004)
- Thanks, the problem I have is that I got too hot when I wrote it and feel that I rushed the ending a bit, although as yet, I'm a bit afraid to really let loose... what other themes would you like to see?
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| Reviewer:
bdsmbill
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 23, 2004 |
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Good story. Very hot. (8/10)
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- Replied by:
Sadistic_Master
(Edit) (Jan 24, 2004)
- Thanks for the kind words. any thoughts on where you think it should go from here?
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