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Plantation Fun House
Author: Chum
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(Added on Dec 11, 2003)
(This month 92650 readers) (Total 119627 readers) |
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Daughter of Plantation Master learns the hard way about her mother, and the ways of pleasure through pain. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 2 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (7.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (8.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (9/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (8/10) |
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| Reviewer:
boccaccio2000g
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 27, 2003 |
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After reading the first six or eight chapters of this story, I was disposed to give it a 9, but the business about the narrator becoming highly sexually excited during and after her victimization seemed rather forced to me. I thought that the characterization was rather thin, too, for such a long story. We don't really get a sense of what the characters are like aside from their participation in this one extended incident. Another minor drawback (for me, at least) was that the story is told in the first person by an apparently respectable young lady. But yet she frequently uses the 'vulgar' terms for body parts. That would not be inappropriate if the story was being told in the third person (or, perhaps, by one of the men), but it "sounded" wrong coming from her. Lastly, although the story contains one exciting "incident" or "torment" after another, I think that the author rushes through some of them to some extent. We certainly get a sense of the victims' pain, but in a way that I didn't find as erotic as I might have. I read erotica largely for the detailed descriptions of women in jeopardy, as opposed to a catalogue of various punishments. In other words, five well-described strokes of a lash are much more pleasing to me than a statement like 'and then X proceeded to administer thirty withering strokes of the lash to Y's beautiful back, applying them with ever-increasing strength."<br>Now that those mostly minor peccadillos are out of the way, let me say that this story has a great deal going for it. Non-stop action, imaginative torments, and very accurate prose (the only error that comes to mind was using 'wench' for 'winch'). It's one of the rare stories I have read where the occasional F/M episodes didn't put me off -- those were well imagined and well described. The prose was not only accurate but literate; the author uses words very, very well. But all writers of erotica should constantly be asking themselves "How am I appealing to the reader's senses in this passage? To their sight, their hearing, their touch, taste, smell. Can they hear the sharp crack of the whip, and the soft (or loud) cries of pain? Can they see the droplets of perspiration streaming down the shapely bodies of the women? Can they feel the softness of their skin, the silkiness of their hair, and so on? It is in that respect that I think this obviousy talented and hard-working author could improve on this fine story.<br>All in all, an excellent effort.<br> (8/10)
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- Replied by:
Chum
(Edit) (Dec 27, 2003)
- Thank you for the most in depth analysis I have received to date for any of my stories. Each of your points are well taken, but I would like to respond with a couple of observations about me that may explain the reasoning behind my style of writing.
Simply put, I basically love women, though doubtless having experienced the same desire for control that most men experience. Ultimately, this basic orientation creeps into my developing story at such an early stage that the story loses all credibility, unless the reader is as tuned to fantasy as I am. I write about the implausible because that's what turns me on, and I'm still remiss in remembering that my readers don't share my knowledge of the characters.
There are various levels of "reality" to be found in erotica, and especially bdsm, writing, from the whimsical on one end (e.g. Neighborhood Sex and Torture Club by Cybersleuth -- alas the only 2 stories I can find by that author), to the efforts at fidelity in content, language usage, and character development that your ongoing "Jade" story represents. For better or for worse, I put my writing in the whimsical category where no one is terrorized for long. I guess this is why I have read all of Allene's stories more than once. My male dom stories search for every man's desire to control women, but the rules of my characters engagement require that such power and contol must result in hightened pleasure for all in the end.
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| Reviewer:
bdsmbill
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 14, 2003 |
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This one was excellent, with something for everyone, pretty much. I did know pretty much from the beginning who the men were working for, but it didn't spoil the story. (9/10)
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