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New life
Author: The Outsider
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(Added on Nov 12, 2003)
(This month 17199 readers) (Total 43184 readers) |
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Cupcake's son, Jim, joins his mother as Laura's slave. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 6 |
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33% |
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33% |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (3.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (3/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (5/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (1/10) |
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| Reviewer:
switchy76
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 10, 2010 |
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i like the story idea, but it would be better if we knew why his mother was enslaved etc. always better to set the story first before jumping straight into the middle. (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
Stefanie1391
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 30, 2006 |
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Stopped in the middle. I can only agree to mkemse, you are in dire need of a betareader at the least. It's 2 because there really are pieces out there with even worse grammar. (2/10)
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 28, 2005 |
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all your stories are consistantly bad, need editing, spell check ect (3/10)
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| Reviewer:
slaveneedledick
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 12, 2004 |
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This story makes no sense at all. As the story progressed no improvement was made. (1/10)
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| Reviewer:
Equalizer
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 15, 2003 |
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As incomprehensible as ever. This writer shows no sign of improvement. (2/10)
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| Reviewer:
crickette
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 12, 2003 |
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Not bad. The plot and details could have been a little more consistent. A couple of times you said something would happen after so and so but it happened before instead. Little things like that. The story line itself could have been clearer but it was a good premise.
(5/10)
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