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Kirsty and the Slob
Author: EngineX
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(Added on Nov 5, 2003)
(This month 109299 readers) (Total 141679 readers) |
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Kirsty takes an instinctive dislike to an unpleasant stranger on the train, but soon finds herself compelled to do exactly as he says. For his own part the stranger finds Kirsty a very attractive proposition and is soon planning for her long term future. The plans have little to do with the young woman's welfare and everything to do with his own satisfaction. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 2 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (7/10) |
Average
Rating:  (8/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (9/10) |
| Lowest
Rating: (7/10) |
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 2, 2004 |
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i found it very enjoyable to read (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
lex ludite
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 6, 2003 |
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This effort gets high marks for writing skill, plot and character development, plus an appropriate ending. The characters all have some substance to them, something rarely seen by this reader. The Slob and his father are real pieces of work and I wish the Hardcrops had been given a bigger role in this story. The level of sex and violence, also known as "heat", is appropriate for a work of this type which is more oriented toward the mental anguish experienced by the two women.<br>Now to some minor cavils for the author to consider. The lesbian programming did not work for this reader. The Slob shows a degree of guile and attention to detail that belies his social status. The manifesto that he forces Suzanne to memorize is too well written to be credible. The elaborate and expensive ruse developed by the Slob to leave no traces of the women's whereabouts is defeated by the ever widening circle of people who are aware of their existence and situation. Making and distributing porno tapes of the two women is not the smartest thing that could be done under the circumstances. As for the "thoughts" of Mauler, for shame! Finally the author is urged to avoid becoming addicted to "spell checker" to catch those nasty typos that wait to distract the reader from his appointed rounds. (9/10)
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- Replied by:
EngineX
(Edit) (Nov 6, 2003)
- Thanks for taking the time to supply such a comprehensive review and I'm pleased you appreciated the story overall. After assembling such a long piece of writing it's good to receive some thoughtful feedback. Here is an attempted defence against some of your criticisms (for what it's worth). I'd accept that the Slob is acting a little out of character in crafting his instructions for Suzanne. He's not supposed to be stupid but neither is he well educated. This is a minor lapse in consistency. I'd also agree that the widening circle of accomplices and the distribution of the porno tapes are always going to undermine the Slob's plans to keep his captives secret. He's playing the odds that no one in authority will make the necessary connections and of course in the end he is discovered, which I contend validates the ending. As far as the thoughts of Mauler are concerned, I guess you either go with this level of suspension of disbelief or you don't! Spell checking and grammar... mea culpa. More effort needed on editing, next time then.
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