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Punishment
Author: SATANS(witch)
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(Added on Nov 2, 2003)
(This month 9386 readers) (Total 17954 readers) |
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slave disobeys her Master, and is publicly punished. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 3 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (5/10) |
| Average
Rating: (5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (7/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (1/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Kostly
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 10, 2003 |
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Horrible (1/10)
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| Reviewer:
boccaccio2000g
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 10, 2003 |
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A nice little vignette. As e.e. says, it is somewhat lacking in characterization (and originality), but I thought that the story had a nice forward momentum and was relatively free from the errors that plague many stories here. Thus a 'good' rating -- one which I hope will induce the authoress to be a bit more ambitious next time. She clearly has a nice way with words. (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
e.e. norcod
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 3, 2003 |
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Your writing skills are good to acceptable but you need work with graphically setting a scene and developing character. The piece is all action without emotion.
In a short-short story there is always pressure to jump right to the action. But this offers little scope for the excitment to build. Take a look at the short-short "Pionic" by Kittenfemme in this same issue. Color and mood is set up in "Picnic" masterfully, although we know little of the mistress' mind in "Picnic" we really get into the head of the submissive.
A good effort. Keep on writing! (6/10)
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