|
|
|
|
Alana Negotiates A Bad Deal
Author: Joe Misery
|
|
(Added on Jul 9, 2003)
(This month 55845 readers) (Total 94447 readers) |
|
Young talented & gorgeous 19 year old Alana has lost her touch in her line of work & has fallen in debt. She has no where to go to help her get ahead, so she contacts a competitor/friend for his assistance, but ends up being pressured into slavery. She soon gets in for MUCH more than she ever dreamt of or bargained for as she becomes a sex-slave for a cruel master. |
Ratings and Reviews: |
Number
of Ratings: 9 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
1 |
2 |
3 |
4 |
5 |
6 |
7 |
8 |
9 |
10 |
11% |
11% |
0% |
0% |
33% |
0% |
11% |
22% |
11% |
0% |
|
Weighed
Average (?): (5.5/10) |
Average
Rating: (6/10) |
Highest
Rating: (9/10) |
Lowest
Rating: (1/10) |
|
|
|
|
Reviewer:
candiL
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 29, 2005 |
|
terrible sentence & paragraph structure (not that I'm one to criticize it, but still not good). But enjoyable read. I hope theres a part 2 & that its better written. (8/10)
|
|
|
|
|
Reviewer:
GaelstormIRA
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 28, 2005 |
|
Paragraph structure was the downfall to the story. Though it was an interesting read, the grammatical errors and the style of writing made it almost unbarable. (2/10)
|
|
|
|
|
Reviewer:
Spectre
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 24, 2004 |
|
Interesting storyline. Needs some polishing, but still readable. Looking foward to more. (7/10)
|
|
|
|
|
Reviewer:
hongcouver12
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 30, 2004 |
|
awesome story. One of the better ones I have seen. It would be a 10 if grammar was better. (9/10)
|
|
|
|
|
Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 30, 2004 |
|
i loved the story but the paragraphs are WAY to long, the rating is for the paragraphs it made it hard to read i give you an 8 for the story itself (5/10)
|
|
|
|
|
Reviewer:
tcthetorturer
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 29, 2003 |
|
very entertaining. Grammar is a bit choppy. Still well written enough to follow. Has to create more paragraphs. Very detailed, may be a bit long for a short read however. Still like it alot (8/10)
|
|
|
|
|
Reviewer:
OneHotThing4All
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 30, 2003 |
|
The idea behind the story is not bad, but the author needs help in writing it so that I will want to read it. Th narative and dialog need to be improved. (5/10)
|
|
|
|
|
Reviewer:
Curtis
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 11, 2003 |
|
Okay, Joe, this is the situation: You have some (not huge) spelling, punctuation and sentence structure problems. You have a HUGE paragraph structure problem (the problem being huge paragraphs and failure to break between people's speeches). There are also some technical problems with specific activities, BUT, this is a seriously hot story, not totally implausible and just crying out for an editor. With some cleaning up, this could have been a '7'. Take some classes, man. You can do better than this. (5/10)
|
|
|
|
|
Reviewer:
don11
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 11, 2003 |
|
Simply too hard to read. I lasted the first paragraph. The odd presentation does the reader no favours. Maybe it is a great story. THere is too much on offer for me to mae the effort. (1/10)
|
|
|