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From A Mayor To A Slave
Author: The Outsider
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(Added on Feb 11, 2003)
(This month 225177 readers) (Total 340851 readers) |
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Anne helps her mother to get revange on those who hurt her. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 14 |
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| 36% |
36% |
7% |
14% |
0% |
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7% |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (3/10) |
Average
Rating:  (2.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (8/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (1/10) |
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| Reviewer:
JimmyJump
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 16, 2005 |
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Blimey, what a mess...! Though there is defenitely a great story hidden beneath these shambles, I fear it will take a whole lot of sifting and polishing to produce it...
Bad sentence structure, lack of the use of comma's and/or periods, make you want to catch your breath after struggling through yet another slightly incomprehensible pouring of words...
Some of the alinea's are like a synopsis for a whole new story: jumping in time, mentioning people and events that are only known to the author and seem hastily pulled into the storyline to head towards a foggy plot, a plot that seems to have gone on a vacation to some distant planet, as there's no sign of it around this cakewalk...
A damn shame it is... (1/10)
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 3, 2005 |
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to hard to follow, (3/10)
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| Reviewer:
slaveneedledick
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 2, 2004 |
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I did not even make it out of the first chapter. This story is poorly written thought the story line could be a very good plot. (2/10)
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| Reviewer:
S_Couture
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 21, 2003 |
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This is a very strange story. I'm not at all sure what is happening here, where it is going, or even if going somewhere could be quantified by such a story. It is . . . for lack of a better word. . . different. <br>However, I would like to add an asterisk to my review. The story does have its points. At the end of every chapter the author credits other stories. Even if you don't read the story at all, scroll down to the end and read the stories that have been credited. They are a like a whose who of porn stories. <br>There's also pictures on some of the stories. I'm not sure whether or not the Outsider is the artist. If he is, then maybe less text and more pictures is in order. Even if you don't read the text, you should at least check out the pictures. Big girls with big titties and full thighs, what more could you want?<br>So even though I'm only giving it a 'two', I still think you should check out the story . . .just don't try to read it . . .unless you are high, then it might all make some sort of sense. (2/10)
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| Reviewer:
Emily
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 7, 2003 |
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This story is way too confusing to understand. (4/10)
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| Reviewer:
Engineer
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 2, 2003 |
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Very poor language and spelling. Besides of this, the beginning was very promising. Unfortunately, the last parts became simply silly. Sorry. (2/10)
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- Replied by:
Nitrofox
(Edit) (Aug 30, 2003)
- Perhaps it is bad, but "Besides of this" is not exactly grammatical either.
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| Reviewer:
BlackRad!sh
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 1, 2003 |
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By far the worst editing job I've ever encountered. The plot line would be great if it didn't read like a second-grade student's essay. I agree that english is obviously not this writer's first language and that s/he would greatly benefit from getting an editor who has a grasp of english grammar. I'd be able (and willing) to read this work if s/he'd only do so. (1/10)
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| Reviewer:
nykinkywife
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 30, 2003 |
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I found it very difficult to get at the content of the story because the writing was so poor. It's a shame to trash such a long story, into which the writer has obviously put a lot of effort, but I can only assume that English is not his first language. (1/10)
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| Reviewer:
alphie712fr
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 23, 2003 |
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fairly good content but very poor writing (4/10)
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| Reviewer:
kittenfemme
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 20, 2003 |
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The content is interesting but this story's lack of sentence structure makes it rather difficult to read. (2/10)
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| Reviewer:
Equalizer
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 19, 2003 |
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I can't understand: Was this translated into English by computer or does this guy never bother to read over a single sentence he writes? This is an insult to all those writers here that care about their craft. (1/10)
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| Reviewer:
Moggy
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 12, 2003 |
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I thought I should revisit the story after giving an early chapter a low rating. Here's the first sentence of the latest chapter:
"It has been Seven AM when there was a knock on the door"
This story continues to be an affront to quality BDSM literature and the English language in general.
(Feb 11)This has the potential to be much better if the grammar and spelling wasn't so poor. The author's efforts will remain largely unappreciated unless he can improve on the mechanics of his writing. It's like listening to music on out of tune instruments. (2/10)
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- Replied by:
bbeale7
(Edit) (Feb 15, 2003)
- I agree. It is one very long sentance no breaks.
- Replied by:
Nitrofox
(Edit) (Aug 30, 2003)
- "It is one very long sentance no breaks."
Very cute. I hope this was intentional.
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| Reviewer:
MistressCandi
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 12, 2003 |
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Great background to this story. It makes what is fiction and takes it to where it could actually be non-fiction. Makes it more believable and brings clearer the images in the minds eye. (8/10)
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- Replied by:
csr
(Edit) (Feb 24, 2005)
- Umm...what?
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| Reviewer:
bbeale7
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 15, 2003 |
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I like the content. But, there is a new invention called a period please use it. (1/10)
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- Replied by:
Nitrofox
(Edit) (Aug 30, 2003)
- I believe a period belongs in your comment between the word "period" and "please".
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