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Hermione's Plan: Deflower Jinny
Author: Kevin Clik
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(Added on Nov 8, 2002)
(This month 11982 readers) (Total 22037 readers) |
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Hermione plan to practice Harry to master of sex. She deceived Jinny to become his victim. Sub Story of Harry Potter's Sequence. |
Ratings and Reviews: |
Number
of Ratings: 8 |
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Weighed
Average (?): (2/10) |
Average
Rating: (1.5/10) |
Highest
Rating: (2/10) |
Lowest
Rating: (1/10) |
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Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 9, 2008 |
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no idea why anone would want to try and write an erotic story based on Harry, no idea at all (2/10)
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- Replied by:
cbtboyuk
(Edit) (May 29, 2010)
- And that's relevant how?
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Reviewer:
theusedgirl1201
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 18, 2005 |
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This story was horrible!!!!!!! Your spelling was unbelivably bad not only did you CHOP up their names but your proper grammer and spelling sucked! Chemus is supposed to be SEAMUS its IRISH! And worryed isn't a word it's WORRIED!!!! (1/10)
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Reviewer:
master_wolf
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 19, 2005 |
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I read this entire story and didn't have a clue what was going on. Basically, you need heavy help with the English language, and I hope you can get it soon, because in all honesty, I think you have some tallent. (2/10)
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Reviewer:
jbowler65
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 1, 2004 |
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Impossible to follow. An editor would be invaluable. (1/10)
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Reviewer:
e.e. norcod
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 19, 2003 |
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Normally, when a story is this bad I don't review it because I do not wish to hurt the feelings of the author. However, the brief scanning I did revealed that the author has a lot to say - there are a lot of ideas trying to emerge here. Furthermore the structure of the story indicates that the author is quite well read and probably fluent in his or her native language (which is obviously not English or even Indo-European). I suspectthey are from the Far East. They should take this story and go to a good teacher, one who is a native English speaker. By revising this story with a native English teacher they can advance their language skills to the next level. Very good try. I will look forward to further improvements in your skills. (1/10)
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Reviewer:
kano
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 29, 2003 |
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Why bother. Not Well Written. Rought Draft at best. (1/10)
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Reviewer:
WolfSpirit
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 3, 2002 |
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Very bad grammer and spelling, it looks as if the writer barely speaks English. That I don't ahve a problem with but with that much difficulty with the langauge the writer needs to have a speaker of the langague review it. I couldn't even get past the first paragraph. Nothing bad on the author just get your work reviewed by someone who speaks better English. (1/10)
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- Replied by:
Nitrofox
(Edit) (Jun 27, 2003)
- Hmm, I see you don't have too many problems with butchering the 'langauge', or is it 'langague'? I dunno.
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Reviewer:
Nitrofox
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 20, 2002 |
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Umm, writing skills anyone? It would be a lot more fun if the names were written correctly. For example, Cho Chang, not Chloe, Ginny, not jinny. The language is horrible too. The story is difficult to follow because of the grammar. These types of stories have potential, but this instance of it was not very successful. (1/10)
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