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San Francisco Love Story
Author: Stephen Elliott
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(Added on Sep 6, 2002)
(This month 8944 readers) (Total 18082 readers) |
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A self contained scene with a professional dominatrix from a novel author is working on. Book excerpt. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 3 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (6.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (7/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (9/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (4/10) |
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| Reviewer:
West Coast Sub
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 9, 2002 |
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I thought this was really good, though a little light. I guess it depends what you like. The writing is first rate. I visited his website and there's a full story there called Tears which is much better than the excerpt he posted to the site, but that's probably because it's a full story. I definitely don't understand why the first reviewer has such a problem with present tense. I'll be buying this author's book. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
S_Couture
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 9, 2002 |
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I thought it was a good story considering it was an excerpt. I would also like to say that 'any' tense and POV can be used, if the writer knows what he/she is doing. This one does. The story builds and I would have continued to read more by the end of it. Good descriptions. Descriptions and flow make this story. The dialogue was good. I feel I need to give extra points to make up for the previous review, but I'm going try to force myself not to.
Problems: The first three lines need a little more work to be a better hook. It doesn't grab you. I almost had to force myself to read them because they have been overdone.
The bulldog-like domme. Okay, this is subjective, but I didn't find her erotic. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
Marcus
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 7, 2002 |
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I notice an excerpt of a story by a published writer. I click open the story eagerly. And start reading. He is telling the story about a visit to a dominatrix. I notice that it's all written in the present tense, just like my review. And I start to become irritated by the writing style. But I continue to read the story. The dominatrix tortures him with electricity. He's not allowed to cum. She tells him to go home. Then he leaves. The story finishes. But I'm not remotely stimulated. I feel disappointed. And think that I won't be buying the book. (4/10)
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