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friend
Author: samboy
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(Added on Aug 9, 2015)
(This month 70934 readers) (Total 70934 readers) |
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A beautiful friend turns into a cruel mistress |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 1 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (3/10) |
Average
Rating:  (1/10) |
| Highest
Rating: (1/10) |
| Lowest
Rating: (1/10) |
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| Reviewer:
JimmyJump
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 24, 2015 |
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Reading "friend" is a bit like rolling down neck-break avenue: there's so many bumps and cracks in the road your eyes want to disconnect from your brain.
It's obvious English is not your native language. You'll probably survive a trip to an English speaking country, but to start writing in English doesn't seem the brightest of ideas at this point in time.
Also, your sentences are way too long and most of the words are in the wrong place.
On top of your non-existent grammar, your story isn't a story at all but rather some sort of synopsys in which you tell whole chapters in just four to five sentences.
Build-up is ridiculous. In fact, this whole affair is ridiculous, I'm affraid.
Learn English properly first -or write in your own language and have the text translated by someone whoe does know English- and come back...
JJ (1/10)
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