Chapter 5
Learning to be Docile
She was lucky, it was only 11:30. She might get a full nights sleep tonight. She
only allowed herself to sleep from 12:00-4:00. She was only half a person and so
only deserved half a nights reset. She kept herself perpetually exhausted from
lack of sleep. She only slept during those hours, so if she was out late or
couldn't sleep, that was tough, she would have to wait to sleep until the next
night. She had no idea Tom was coming by, and it didn't matter. If he kept her
up until 2:00 then she would only sleep from 2:00-4:00 This by far is one of the
hardest things she inflicts on herself, and it took great practice to get down
to four hours a night and still function. At first she would only deprived
herself an hour, then it was two, and so on. The point was a good nights rest
was just another pleasure in life that she forbade herself. She never woke
feeling refreshed or energized. Instead she always woke with a headache, feeling
sore and wanting desperately to go back to sleep. A few times she inadvertently
fell back asleep, and she punished herself severely for that. The alarm
announcing 4:00 always felt like an arrow riffling through her head. She lay for
a few seconds letting the alarm pound at her head. She sat up and looked int
other mirror next her mattress. Her face was bloated, her head arched back
slightly, a small bulge was visible I her throat. Her face was wet with her own
saliva. She unstrapped the penis gag from her head. And grabbed her dildo. It
was time for whore training. She covered the large dildo in her burning hot
pepper irritant, and slammed it into her cunt. It was not masturbation, that was
for pleasure. This was whore training. She crudely fucked the large piece of
rubber in and out of cunt, for 20 minutes. The point was to make sure that her
cunt was fucked and stretched every day. Her ass was next for another 20
minutes, then her throat again for 20. When she finished all 3 of her fuck holes
were sore and burning, and would remain that way over the next hour until the
irritant wore off. She drank her four glasses of icky water and then got out her
bdsm tapes and magazines. These were the only for form "entertainment michelle
allowed herself to have. There were no girly magazines or videos, she didn't
watch popular sitcoms or movies, just hardcore bdsm magazines and videos. They
were all very violent and degrading to women. The pictures and videos were all
of women being beaten, raped and tortured Michelle viewed them intently trying
to learn want men like and looking for new ways to inflict pain on herself
especially during sex. The articles discussed way to trick and take advantage of
women, how to cheat and not get caught, how to get your bitch to do everything
you want, etc. Michelle favorite mag preached extreme male superiority. It
taught that women were inferior bitches, here to be used and abused by men.
Michelle couldn't have agreed more. It provided tips for men, how to rape and
get away with it, how to sexually harass a woman, how to get her to do
everything for you and expect nothing back. The magazine always had a small page
for bitches that read the mag. Michelle was sure she was probably only one of a
few, cunts that read this magazine. The cunt corner provided instructions to
cunts on ways to submit themselves to their men. The topics ran the gambit and
included things like financial control, sexual control, activity control, etc.
The articles gave instructions how women should behave and what the are required
to do for their man. There were also write in letters, Dear Ann type letters
supposedly from women. Michelle assumed they were fake, but they were her
favorite part anyway. One write in told her how she married a man who had date
raped her. She didn't love him and was never really even interested in him, but
thought that her chile should have a father. So she proposed to him. He refused
at first, and then only after sexually abusing her several more times he greed
to it if she signed a prenuptial leaving him everything. She agreed. For the
next three years she waited on him hand and foot, and let him do anything he
wanted to her. She did everything she could to please him sexually, doing
everything he wanted anytime he wanted no matter how painful or degrading. He
cheated on her all the time and she never gave him any lip. She worked a full
time job and did all the housework, cooking, cleaning, while he sat on his ass
all day and spent her money on himself and other women. All her income was
deposited into his account and he didn't provide her any spending money, except
a small stipend for groceries. After slaving for him for three years he decided
that he was tired of her and could do better , and he told her that. She cried
and pleaded and begged him to stay, saying she try harder. He gave her two weeks
to shape up. The bitch was asking the magazine for advice on how to better
please and serve her man, and if she should just give up and find a new man to
serve cause she wasn't really happy with him. She complained that he never
showed her any kindness, never did anything nice for her, and never showed her
any appreciation. . She new that women were weak inferior cunts, and deserved to
be taken advantage of, but she honestly didn't know what else she could do for
him. Even things like mowing the lawn, and shoveling the walk were her
responsibility. She tried to be understanding of all his needs, especially his
need to fuck other cunts. She just wishes he would occasionally utter her a kind
word, or to be a little lees violent and mean during sex, or not be so demanding
that she keep the house immaculate for him. The article was harsh with her and
quick to point out that she could not leave him. "A bitch never leaves her man
and will serve him through any hardship. He however can dump her on a whim, and
when he demands her back, she must crawl back to him. If he does leave her it is
entirely her fault and she should only blame herself. The letter when on to
point out that she was right to blame herself. She was being selfish, her
happiness didn't matter in the slightest, only his did, and if he wasn't happy
with her, then she wasn't doing enough for him. The article demanded that she
try harder to do everything she could to please him for the next two weeks, It
reminded her that she was just a worthless fuckhole and lucky to have him. The
letter called her a whiny bitch and how dare she even complain. She should be
eternally grateful if he even sneezes in her direction. Michelle read the letter
roughly rubbing her clit and listening to the sounds of some screaming snatch
being beaten in one of her videos. She felt that building desire throughout her
whole body, the feeling of that wonder orgasm about to explode and end her long
endured sexual frustration. Just before the point of no return, she grabbed her
clit with her nails and pinched hard pulling and twisting until she screamed out
loud in pain. Another orgasm successfully denied. The frustration remained, her
sopping wet cunt, a testimony to her arousal. One of these days she was going to
take her self past the point of no return and accidently orgasm. She would have
to severely punish herself if that happened. Clit removal was something she
thought about regularly, but opted to keep it to further her desire and
frustration. Plus it was one of her favorite bitch parts to torture. Still she
dreamed of the day when some sadistic bastard would make her remove it. Blood
dripped from clit as she rubbed in the hot pepper sauce causing her to emit
another scream.
