The Art of Adoration
By Dianna Vesta
Men are drawn to female domination by their sexual fantasies. An image invokes
sensation and excitement never before experienced. Its intensity is penetrating
and it moves against their moral grain. Uncontrollably they are seduced into the
mysterious dark waters of the feminine abyss. It is during this moment of
surrender that the male will be susceptible to true transformation. The
conscious mind is forgotten and the door to his heart opens. He becomes a
malleable palate. Any work done on this level will have lasting effects.
Exactly what does this mean?
It means that a male is controlled by his libido. If a woman captures his
attention and literally seduces him to his knees, she will be able to own his
soul. She may not agree with his fantasies, however she understands them and
using them to bring him to complete subjugation. A place where he will literally
do anything to please her. If she tries to teach him her way outside of this
state there may not be lasting affects. His expectations and preconceptions will
make it impossible to penetrate his psyche. However, while in a state of
subjugation she can lead him into understanding her way.
How is this done?
Adoration and love are the key elements of successful transformation. Love and
adoration is a magic that is enjoyed by both Mistress and slave. Unfortunately
males are not born with the ability to do this correctly. You can scream, yell,
plead and threaten the male to understand but he can not. If he says that he
does he is lying because true love and adoration for a Mistress must be
experienced and only you can teach him this. A Domina is a creator and master of
her "here and now". If she wants to rule her world then she must be fully
responsible for creating her reality. She is smarter then those who seek to
serve her. She is a Queen and must truly believe that she is. A good leader is
one who observes the needs of her people and devises a plan that fulfills the
purpose of all. This does not mean that she serves the needs of her slaves but
considers the needs, thoughts and emotions of anyone that is involved in her
world. As mother with child she has a genuine desire to give, honor and love,
however she also disciplines and teaches so that she may protect her children.
When you beckon a male into your world, transform him and shape him, you must
take the responsibly in protecting him. He will have difficulty balancing a
patriarchal world with his matriarchal lifestyle. Feelings of guilt and conflict
will often surface. Another reason why adoration and love are essential. Love
and adoration is the glue that holds, bonds and protects everything you work so
hard to obtain. Many of you have started relationships only to have the male run
in another direction. It is painful and appears to be an act of violation,
however it is not. A male must be carefully prepared and nurtured in this
process. If you enter a relationship with a male and expect him to be the one to
take the initiative and intuitively know how to please you, you've got a lot to
learn. The male is incapable of this.
So the first step is finding a male who is interested in you. The two of you
have like interest. There must be an initial attraction for both of you unless
he is strictly a servant. Different sets of rules apply for this relationship
and will be covered in another article. This article addresses the intimate
relationship between Mistress and male slave. The attraction may be physical,
spiritual or both. You both have a sincere desire to explore each other. There
is a lingering hunger needing to be fed.
As I have written in my article, "Erotic Control: The Art of Loving Domination",
we must capture his attention by using a bag of tricks, so to speak. We
carefully observe him to understand exactly what these sexual urges are. It is
to our benefit that we pry as deep as possible to know the many facets of his
sexual complexities. This won't always be an easy task. You can ask a male what
his fantasies are and he'll only describe those fantasies he wishes to explore
at that time. He'll protect himself by treading lightly and carefully making
sure that he doesn't say the wrong thing and be rejected. It is a very rare
incident when a male will completely disclose his true feelings and sexual
fantasies which is why you must study and test him. This process seems like a
lot of work but in the end it will pay off. During the process you can still
enjoy pleasure from the male. It is important, however that you're strong and
don't become too vulnerable to emotion during this training process. It is our
instinct to move quickly when we see something we want. Women too can develop
expectations and end up sabotaging a potentially good relationship. If she gives
and expects too much to soon he may run in another direction. He will become
overwhelmed and scared. It sucks but it happens. After all this is why women are
superior. They can have more control over their emotions because they understand
them. Their capacity to love is far greater then a man.
Far to many women get into a D&S relationship and right away begin feeding the
sexual needs of a male. She wants the relationship so badly that she looks to
feed his fetishes. She may enjoy doing this but this is not real training and I
assure you that you will get burnt out catering to his sexual fantasies. At the
same time they must be considered. As I mentioned above, it is beyond words and
actions. He may tell you his fantasies and you can place them in your arsenal.
Arsenals of weapons that will eventually fight machismo and bring him to the
desired state of subjugation.
I have never met a submissive male yet that didn't enjoy catering to his Queen.
He may not be great at it but he can learn in small steps. It's important to be
instructive. Don't be afraid to outline details of what you expect from him.
Males need this because they lack intuition and creativity. They can learn this
after they have truly been exposed to the Divine Feminine and have become true
slaves. This takes much time.
Depending on the enlightenment of the male she may start with small task of
adoration, such as being given a bath, massage or foot worship. Foot worship is
very symbolic for the male. Even if he is not a foot fetishist the act of foot
worship is very penetrating. It places you above him and he below you. This act
of adoration gives him a chance to pay attention to detail and gives you an
indication if the male is worthy of going any further. If the male can not focus
on your comfort and pleasure during this act, get rid of him. He'll do nothing
but waste your time. It shouldn't matter that he's not into feet. This act of
worship is a primary element to the success of his servitude. If he can't
caress, adore, and love your feet properly, what makes you think he'll be able
to do the same to the rest of your body? Your body is a temple. He is your
subject and must learn to care, honor and ADORE this temple. All that you are
and all that comes from this temple is sacred. If he is not worthy of
worshipping your feet, which is the threshold, then he must not enter.
The male who is worthy will prove himself by carefully focusing on your comfort
and pleasure. He will kneel and begin by kissing the shoes on your feet. It's
important that you instruction him to do so. I enjoy watching him peck lightly
as my shoes and then I may instruction him to use his tongue. There is a process
of initiation happening here. First he is permitted to kiss the ground you have
just walked on. He is then allowed to kiss your shoes. If he does so correctly
then he may have the honor of his lips touching your flesh. He kisses and with
your instruction he beings to lick and suckle. During this time he must be
holding up your foot so that it is aligned with your hip, otherwise you will
feel a strain. You should not have to hold your foot up for him nor should you
have to strain. It is important that he does this properly. He must focused and
aware. If he is lazy he'll begin to complain or falter on his adoration. This
should tell you that he is incapable of long periods of adoration. Do you really
want him to go any further?
The way a man suckles is important. Is he sloppy and hurried or does he take his
time and really adore each and every inch of the flesh he has been honored to
worship? You should be able to tell if he's focused on pleasing you or if he's
simply just trying to get the job done. If he is the latter, give him his
walking papers now. If not, you may instruct him to proceed up your leg. He
should do this slowly and affectionately never missing an inch. When he
approaches your thighs you may allow him to kiss the inside. Sometimes I will
wear panties and sometimes I will not. I want him to know that the sacred
triangle is there...to see it, smell its scent, however at this time he is not
worthy to touch it. As he kisses your thighs he will probably have an erection.
Don't scold him for this. You want him to always have an erection for you or as
much as possible. It is during this state of excitement where you will do
serious work/transformation.
You may get very excited once the male reaches your thighs, especially if he has
done a good job. Do not let him lick or be allowed to make you have an orgasm.
Not at this time. Lift his head up to your bare breast and teach him to worship
and adore your breast. He should become intoxicated with these acts of
adoration. You should begin to see a difference in his demeanor. The more
excited he gets the more open the vortex of subjugation. Have him hold and kiss
your breast. Smother his face between them if you are well endowed. Let him fill
the power of them. Explain to his what they are:
"Worship carefully that which nurtures all life. When you are hungry I will feed
you. When you are afraid I will protect you. When you don't please me I will
punish you."
At that moment he is thinking, "Yes, Yes, yes..." He may even be mumbling this.
Push or kick him away. Helplessly he may tremble because of the sudden
disconnect, however believe it or not he is still connected. Now is the perfect
time to make an introduction. I like to use my panties. I might take off the
ones I already have one and place them against his face. The excited slave
probably thinks he'll be worshipping your vagina next, but he's dead wrong. I
explain to him how sacred and special the panties are and they he will be
allowed to worship them. He may not be into panties, however I promise you that
at this point he's into ANYTHING that has touched your divine body! He has just
been allowed to feel your flesh, taste you and smell you. The panties are all he
has left now that you have kicked him away. If he has a strong foot fetish (not
a shoe fetish) then you may decide to give him a pair of shoes or stockings to
worship. Carefully instruct him on how he must do this.
I want my slaves to have an altar of some type. It can be a simple table in the
corner or even better a small closet set-up in your honor. You will have your
own personal preferences. Some women are very elaborate while other simple. Keep
in mind that the male isn't a creature capable of great detail. Commitment is
difficult for him so it's best to keep daily rituals simple.
I enjoy a place where he can place my picture, a candle and the objects I have
given him to worship. If he does not live with me then he may get a hidden place
or a small table with a drawer. Some students have found small trunks where they
have placed a nice cloth over or a nice table that with a drawer so they can
place items of worship inside bringing them out only during their ritual. I want
my picture, the candle and fresh flowers to always remain in open sight. If he
is married you should not be training this slave. It is a total act of
disrespect for a woman to get involved in this level of deception with another
woman's man. Not only will it bring destructive karma but you can not truly call
yourself a Domina, much less a Goddess. If a woman seeks your help and support
in training her male this is another story, however any act of deception towards
any woman, is a crime against all womankind. Therefore a male has no excuse why
he can not openly display your picture, keep flowers and a candle for you. You
are his Queen and he will worship no others. If he can not focus entirely on
this then get rid of him. If he can't make a commitment only to you then find a
male that will.
How he cares for the altar is how he will care for me. If he allows the flowers
to die then so will his devotion towards me. If he tends to it with great
devotion then he will be a good slave. The altar is a projection of you and in
your honor. He is instructed daily (I prefer evening before bed) to shower,
shave the cock and balls, dry, place the leather cock ring and neck collar
around his neck, crawl to the altar, light the candle and place the items of
worship (panties, shoes etc.) on it. (note- items of worship can be kept in
sealed ziplock bags to retain scents) He kneels before the altar and begins his
devotion. He gazes at the candle and photo while holding the items of worship to
his face. He thanks his Mistress/Goddess for the privilege of the honor to
worship her.
I do not allow my males to masturbate during this time. I want them to go to bed
and to sleep with the cock ring and collar on. Every woman has her preferences
on when or how she wants her male to orgasm. Some may wish to be a part of this
in an intimate fashion, some will want no part of this and direct him to
masturbate during specified times and others may completely deny the male an
orgasm. He must never ask. It must never be his choice. It will always be a gift
you allow him to have. He must know and honor this.
Personal service is something every male needs to learn. Lessons in personal
service teaches him better adoration because he can feel pride and honor in
caring for you. He is taught how to draw a bath, bathe you, shave your legs,
wash you hair and apply the proper oils or creams. I enjoy shaving the lower
section of my pubic hairs. I often teach the male to do this. He begins to build
a close bond with your body and it epitomizes adoration. You may want to wait
before allow him to worship "the holiest of holy places where all life comes
from" until he has proven worthy. Once he has you will want him to lick your
vagina lips after a shave to make sure he has given you a close shave. This
often excites both of us.
I am always very careful to reinforce male submission with love. His
understanding of love is different then yours. He confuses love with sex.
Believe it or not he attempts to learn about love and women with sex.
Transformation and training will begin to change this, however it won't happen
overnight. I reach into my arsenal and pull out one of his desires or needs. I
might tease and dangle it before him. I am very subtle at doing this. When I see
that he is excited enough I will careful replace it with something else. Let me
use an example.
You have a male who has a strong oral fetish. You instruct him to rub your feet
all the while he can see up your legs. You might even touch yourself and tell
him how horny you've been lately. He'll get all excited and he may even speak
out of turn or give you a pathetic whine about pleasing you. You take off your
panties and toss them to him. "Here, you want to taste me, slave?" You tease him
until he shakes. While he is in this state, longing to feed his fetish, you
intrude him to other things. Perhaps you will introduce a butt-plug or dildo, a
whip or bondage. Anything that pleases YOU. With this new introduction I am
affectionate and intimate. Even if I spank his little ass it is not meant for
punishment. It is an introduction. I tease him, run the leather paddles around
his ass and balls. I gently smack him. I might stop and kiss him, caress him and
tell him what a good boy he is. I might then stand close enough, need over with
the strap or paddle, my vagina so close to his nose he can smell me, and begin
paddling a little harder. At this point he'll do almost anything for me and I
want him to prove it!
"My vagina is dripping wet. I know you want to taste me, don't you?"
"Oh yes, yes, my goddess!"
The leather paddle smacks lightly.
"But only a real man is worthy of this honor, boy. Are you a real man? Are you
will to prove this to me?"
He will hesitate for a moment because he can feel the paddle on his ass. At this
point you may want to push your vagina a little closer to his nose or touch
yourself and let him taste your fingers with your juices on it. This will excite
him. Smack a little harder with the paddle.
"Then prove to me that you can take it like a man. A real man and I will allow
you the honor of serving a REAL woman."
This process can go back and forth and each situation is different so I'll stop
here. The main thing is that you begin to change his ideas about the things he
hates or the things he dislikes yet you enjoy and the knowing that he'll do
anything to please you. A male may say he is turned off by crossdressing (not
that I really give a shit what turns him on or off!) and I'll have a pair of
panties on him in the next scene. I use my arsenal and creativity. I can assure
you that that male will be dreaming about panties from that day on. It may take
a few times. I want to dig as deep as I can into his soul and touch him places
no other woman can. I want to create new desires and begin to shape and mold him
into my property. At the same time I want to teach him love and adoration so
that we may both bond. This trusting bond is the nirvana of this type of
relationship. A bond that will not be easily broken.
The male will begin to feel pride and safety in this type of relationship. His
innate desire to control will begin to dissipate. Male ego will be reduced to
allow authentic matriarchal training.
I must stress something very important.
Males need direction. They are unable to read your mind and only a very trained
male can anticipate your needs. You must be very instructive with your training
and at the same time don't overwhelm the male with too much to do. His little
pea brain can't handle it. This process take time and a lot of patience. The
male creature simply does not have the strength and ability you have for love
and commitment. He must be taught to love your way and he isn't equipped with
the communication skills and language for this. Because he is incapable I learn
his simple language. I speak to him in a way he understands to get his attention
and then slowly I teach him my way. If I force him he won't listen or ever
really understand what I'm doing. His devotion will be temporary and he will
only seem aware when his dick gets hard. I must be committed and make time to
do this work if I'm going to achieve good results. If you are lucky you may find
a male who has some basic training, however training and practice never stops.
If you stop demanding adoration and fall behind on training then he will too.
Much like a devoted dog he can forget the tricks you teach him. You must be
consistent with your training and be sure to respect and love him for his
accomplishments yet be prepared without delay to punish him for his
transgressions.
Allow him to experience woman. Teach him to adore your body, serve your needs,
drown in your essences, and drink of you. Let him smell your hair, taste your
sweat, lick your royal dierrre, drink your piss and honor your flesh.
You can subjugate yourself to society that criticizes you or you can become a
Goddess of your own Queendom.
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Goddess Dianna Vesta is a lifestyle Mistress and owner of The Fetish Network,
the largest organization of products and services in the world for those who
have an interest in SM, fantasy and fetish. TFN provides education as well as
quality entertainment for couples and those seeking information. Dianna Vesta is
well known for her articles and teaching seminars, couples and training males to
adore and love a dominant woman. She is available for phone consultations and
private meetings. To learn more visit her web site at www.fetishnetwork.com
