The Old Rectory
by obohobo
Chapter 1. Job applicant
"You will go to the Old Rectory in Assingfield for an interview this afternoon
for a housekeeping job Miss Gerrart," the sour faced elderly woman behind the
desk at the job centre informed Gertrude, "And make sure you try and get this
job otherwise your money is stopped and we'll have to send you on yet another
training scheme, that is if there is one that will take you. You've been thrown
off enough as it is." She looked up over her half spectacles and went on, "I
will phone Mr. Robinson and inform him you will be attending."
"And just how am I supposed to get to Assingfield? I ain't got no money left."
"Well you will just have to walk, Miss. It is only six miles and in my younger
days we thought nothing of walking that far before breakfast. You young girls
expect everything given to you on a plate."
"Yeah, and you had to watch out for the dinosaurs on the way too, I expect!"
laughed Gertrude, "And you probably had less weight on you then."
"You can't afford to be rude to me Miss. I have the power and the key to your
grants. So make sure you make a real effort this time. I shall check with Mr.
Robinson afterwards."
"And just what chance do I have of getting a job as a housekeeper then? Seeing
that I've no experience. I can't cook. I didn't even do any housework at home.
In fact I don't have a home now. Last few nights I had to spend in the park coz
I got nowhere to go and no money left for the hostel."
"Get off with you now. I haven't time to listen to your hard luck claptrap. Just
make sure you attend the interview. Be there before 2 o'clock." The woman put
Gertrude's papers back in their folder, snapped it shut and called sharply,
"Next!"
"The old dyke's her usual good humoured self, I see," grinned a boy sitting
waiting his turn.
"Nothing a couple of good cocks up her arse wouldn't cure, Baz," Gertrude
laughed in reply. "See you here next week I expect."
"What she sent you for this time?"
"Housekeeping job. That's a laugh when I've never kept house?"
"Probably you'll be looking after some old hag. Bathing her and emptying her
potty," Baz joked.
"No it's a man but he could be ancient. If he's rich perhaps I'll marry him and
bump him off and inherit a fortune." Gertrude continued with the joke but knew
it was no joking matter. She really did need some sort of job. But what?
Housekeeping seemed dead dull.
A little before noon Gertrude walked up the driveway to the rambling, old and
rather dilapidated building. For a few feet on either side, the driveway had
recently been cleared but most of the grounds were very overgrown with brambles,
nettles and scrub. "They don't need a housekeeper, they need a bulldozer!" she
laughed at herself. "This is obviously another job I'm not going to get so
there's no real need to bother much. If the biddy bitch stops my money, to hell
with her, there's nothing I can do about it. I'll just have to try and pinch
some stuff and sell it." Gertrude paused and then thought, "Perhaps I should go
in and check what's in there for later. Maybe he won't even bother to interview
me and I can get back earlier."
She approached the house and stopped and stared for a few minutes and almost
decided to run. It looked like it hadn't been lived in for years. The curtains
at some windows were torn, all the paint work had long since peeled off and the
plaster work where it could be seen through the Virginia creeper, was blackened
and flaking. "No one lives here surely," she said, "It gives me the creeps just
to look at it. S'pose I'd better make the effort though, otherwise biddy bitch
will definitely stop what little money I get and then I won't even be able to
have a few nights in the hostel."
'Salesmen;
Religious groups;
Charity collectors.
Do not knock on this door.
Offenders will be incarcerated in the crypt
along with the rats and bones of their ancestors!'
So read a new looking notice encased in a plastic bag pinned to the massive oak
door. "Looks like the owner is nice and friendly," remarked Gertrude and she
looked for the door bell. "At least I don't fall into any of those categories."
No bell. She used the big iron door knocker.
"Boom! Boom! Boom!" The sound seemed extraordinarily loud. "That'll waken the
dead in that crypt," Gertrude laughed at herself. "I'm not going to let this
bother me much. The shitting interview shouldn't take long and perhaps one of
the others will give me a lift back to town. Maybe I can even get some expenses
for coming."
For several minutes there was no answer and Gertrude had just lifted the knocker
to try again, when the ragged curtains to one side of the door moved and she saw
the face of a youngish man. A loud click-clunk; the sound of a large key in an
old fashioned lock and the huge door creaked open.
"Are you here for the interview or the crypt?" the man smiled as he asked. "If
it's the interview, then you are a couple of hours too early."
"Yes, sorry. Biddy bitch, the old woman at the job centre said I was not to be
late and I thought I would have to walk all the way from town but I got a lift.
I'm Gertrude Gerrart."
"Roger Robinson. You'd better come in. It could rain at any time. But I wasn't
expecting anyone as young as you. Is she really an old biddy? Her voice sounded
quite nice on the phone."
"Yeah, she's and old biddy alright. About ninety years old, wears teeny glasses
and stacks her hair in a bun on the back of her head." She mimicked the shape of
the glasses with her fingers. "And she wears XXXXL dresses," Gertrude went on.
Roger laughed. "Well we'll have to see what your housekeeping talents are
Gertrude. You can make us both some lunch."
"Please call me Geegee or just Gee. I think my mother got that name from the
ark. At school I got stuck with the initials run together as one word. Can I
call you Roger for the short time I will be here?"
"Sure. I too have two initials the same so we have something in common but I
don't think RR goes together as well. Sounds more like being in a doctor's
surgery. Open your mouth and say Rrrr Rrrrr." Gee laughed she had already begun
to like the man. "Why do you think it will be a short time?" Roger asked, "I
haven't even seen the other applicants yet although I have read their
application forms and CV's."
They were talking as they made their way along a stone passageway to the
kitchen. "God, this is a creepy place. Real spooky." Geegee exclaimed, "Why'd
you buy a dump like this?"
"That's a longer story and you evaded my question. Why do you think you will
only be here for a short time?"
Geegee laughed as they entered the huge old kitchen, "You'll find out very
quickly now we are here. My cooking skills are best at opening tins or
pre-packs."
"Well I guess you can make sandwiches. That's my normal lunch. Cut some bread
while I see what is in the fridge. I was just about to look when your knock
came." Geegee looked bewildered for a few moments. She'd only seen whole loaves
in the bakers but at home they always had supermarket sliced bread. And this
bread still felt warm. To show willing she hacked off the crust and then a few
more slices of uneven thickness.
Roger looked at her. "At least you were honest about your housekeeping skills.
You have certainly murdered that loaf." They ate and chatted. Afterwards Roger
suggested to her that she didn't really want the job. "Tell me the truth, why
did you apply? Was it just because the Job Centre made you?" Geegee nodded.
"What sort of work would you like to do?" he asked, "The truth now."
"I don't really know. They've put me on all sorts of training schemes that I
didn't want so I buggered about and got thrown off. Most of the jobs were
outside, the parks service and the like and we were supposed to work in the rain
an' all. Then old biddy bitch, Miss Marples I called her, started to get nosy
and checked up on me and suggested I was doing it all deliberately and got them
above her to stop my money if I didn't get a job and stick with it. Getting a
job with my police record is bad enough but getting a job I would like to stay
in is almost impossible, especially as I have no idea of what I want to do. I
can't see you employing me so, what the hell, can I tell you."
"What is your police record for?"
"Oh, usual. Shop lifting, theft, a little violence but that was only because the
woman resisted when I snatched her handbag and she fell when I hit her and broke
a leg. Do you want me to go now or can I stay for the interviews to please Miss
Marples?"
"Can you make tea?"
"I can throw a tea bag in a cup and pour hot water on it!"
"Yuck! Watch and learn. Tea making is an art and one you'll get plenty of
practice at if you are appointed."
They took the tea into his office. It seemed to be one room that was fairly
orderly. Opening a file on the computer, he printed out an application form and
set Geegee to filling it in. "Believe in yourself. You have as much chance of
getting the job as the others," he advised.
The other applicants, three of them arrived before the appointed time and Roger
apologised for the state of the house before taking them all on a tour of the
rooms. "I've only been here two weeks," he said, "So few of the rooms have been
cleaned or cleared. You won't be expected to do that. I will do one at a time
and gradually get them decorated." Few of the rooms had been used for years and
were all full of furniture and other bric-a-brac, all covered with dust and
cobwebs.
One woman left before the tour was over saying she could never work in a place
like this. "You should get in a firm of professional cleaners before expecting
anyone to work here," she informed Roger angrily before she left. "I've just
wasted an afternoon to see this mess."
Roger showed them a smallish room that had been part cleared and said that would
be the housekeeper's room when he finished cleaning and decorating it. One of
the other women said she didn't want to live in especially in such a gloomy
place and pointed out the advert said, 'A live in housekeeper preferred' which
implied one could live out. "That is correct, Mrs. Dames, but if I can get
someone to live in, then I will have no need for someone who has to travel."
After the tour came the interviews. Only two applicants left. Miss Bagshott went
in first. Geegee knew the woman was displeased with the state of the house and
had said she could do with the extra money from the job but didn't think it
would be worth the extra effort that would be needed to get things right. She
wanted wholesale changes in the conditions, more money than was being offered, a
better room and more time off. When these were refused, she stormed out. Roger
called Geegee in. "Looks like you've got the job by default. When can you
start?"
"I don't know if I want to."
Roger picked up the phone and spoke for a few moments. She knew where he was
phoning. A few minutes later he said, "It's Miss Matthews, not Miss Marples. She
said if you refused a job when offered, you would definitely loose all your
'dole money' - that shows how old fashioned she is Gee," laughed Roger, "She
said you have to keep the job for a month before you can apply again and she
also mentioned that your probation officer would not want to find out you didn't
have a permanent address. She hinted that you've been sleeping rough."
"Sod, sod, sod the bloody woman! Why'd she have to bring that up? It's not
really her business that I spent the last two nights in the park in one of the
shelters."
"Gee, I think it looks as if I am stuck with you and you are stuck with me."
"Sod, sod, sod!" Geegee repeated.
"Look Geegee, it not what I wanted either. I wanted some one who was competent,
someone who knew what they were doing and I could rely on to get the jobs done
without much supervision. Now I've got to try and train you and I know from what
you've already told me, that will be a hard task. And I'm paying you, I won't
expect any slacking either. My father brought me up very strictly. I was
punished usually with a strap or cane when my work wasn't good enough. In this
day and age, its not the done thing, but with your given record of waywardness
maybe you would benefit in the long run."
"Sod, sod, sod," Geegee repeated for the third time, "First time I get a real
job it's in a spooky house with a sadistic sod for an employer. Do I have a
choice?"
"Yes, you can walk out of that door now and not come back. You can walk to the
park and sleep out there again, in the rain by the looks of things. I don't know
how you survived sleeping out in the cold for two nights but with the rain and
wind, tonight is going to be worse. As they say, 'the choice is yours.' Make it
and either come to the kitchen and have a mug of tea or let yourself out of the
front door." Ten minutes later he heard the front door close.
Deciding it was too late to cook, Roger drove in the dark the three miles to the
supermarket and ate in the cafeteria. Halfway back the headlights picked out
Geegee plodding towards town her head down against the wind and rain and
carrying two full plastic bags. She was soaked. He reversed the car and ordered
Geegee in. Tired, wet and cold though she was, Geegee refused and started to
run. Roger, determined not to be thwarted, got out and grabbed her arm he pushed
her in the passenger seat. "Even if you're not taking the job, at least you can
have somewhere dry to sleep for the night." Picking up her bags, he tossed them
in the boot. "Clank. Clink." Metallic sounds as one bag hit the floor and its
contents spilled out. A silver box that had been presented to him when his first
book was a success, gleamed in the boot light.
Geegee didn't even try to get out and run. All she said was, "What are you going
to do?"
