IV. At the Opera
It took them about 15 minutes to get to the opera house, which was on the upper
part of "Unter den Linden", close to the city palace of the Kaiser, which Aunt
Margaret pointed out to him. He found the palace very impressive, but Aunt
Margaret laughed and said "I would not want to live there. They don't even have
any bathtubs."
Just before they halted beside the opera house, Aunt Margaret dabbed a little
perfume on his shoulders and behind his ears. It was a fresh, flowery smell,
quite different from Aunt Margaret's own perfume, which was heavier, sweet and
seductive. When they finally stopped in a long row of other carriages, Aunt
Margaret urged him to hurry.
"Let's go directly to my box, we are just in time. We shall meet our friends
there."
He hurried as best as he could in his tight skirts through a crowd of elegantly
dressed people. Everybody seemed to rush and hurry. He had had the same
impression before when he had come from the train and as they drove through the
city. It seemed as if everybody in Berlin always was in a hurry.
They were expected in front of the Box by an elegant couple. He was about 30 or
32 years old, almost six feet tall, and very masculine. He had a thick
moustache, with the tips twirled upwards in the latest fashion. She was a little
younger, maybe 25, a real beauty with a slim build, about 5' 6", wearing a
beautiful gown in golden velvet. Her bare shoulders were framed by a ruffle of
narrowly pleated silk taffeta of the same color, which started at her bosom and
went all around, forming a V in the back, and continuing all the way down where
it formed a formidable train. She had a really slim waist. She must have been
laced down to about 19 or 20 inches at the most, which contrasted vividly with
her full bosom and hips.
"Gloria, meet my very good friends, Mr. Karl Becker and his friend Coco and
here, my dear Karl and Coco, is Gloria, my niece."
Everybody murmured something and he managed a deep curtsey appropriate for a
young girl without any accident. Before a conversation could start, the bell
shooed them to their seats and soon they were encircled by Mozart's music. He
had completely forgotten to ask what was on the program tonight, but he
recognized the theme immediately: Figaro's Wedding.
"How appropriate," he thought, because he immediately thought of Cherubin, the
boy who is dressed as a girl by Suzanne, Figaro's bride, during the second and
third act, first to escape a compromising situation, and then to avoid having to
join his regiment, where count Almaviva had sent him as a punishment. He loved
the music and the Berlin opera certainly had excellent singers. He almost forgot
his clothes and the circumstances that brought him there. Only now and then,
when he wanted to take a deep breath and he felt the constriction of his corset,
he became aware of his peculiar situation. He stole a sideways glance at Karl
and Coco, but they had evidently taken him for what he seemed to be a girl.
During the intermission, they all went to the buffet and had some champagne.
"You know, I would have liked it even better, if Mozart had written the part of
Cherubin for a high tenor, so that a boy could play the role. There is something
missing in the action, if you know that the boy dressed as a girl is really a
girl," Aunt Margaret observed, "I would like to see a real boy be changed into a
girl in the play."
Jean-Marie did not at all like the turn the conversation took. He felt as if
somebody had pushed him onto very thin ice. But Aunt Margaret did not let up.
"You see, the idea of the story is quite intriguing. Cherubin is a boy who
actually chooses to become a girl to avoid joining the army. I do not believe
that a normal boy could be persuaded to do this. He must have had the
inclination to dress as a girl from the start. What do you think Coco?"
"Well, don't ask me. You know, and you can see how I like to dress up, and I
know there are a lot of other boys who would like to do it. And, I agree,
Cherubin might actually like to be dressed as a girl and the way he is deceiving
and flirting with his Master in the last act well, it could very well be that he
likes to play the role of a girl. And maybe Mozart wrote that part with one of
those pretty castrati in mind, which were still around when he composed this
opera."
Jean-Marie thought he couldn't believe his ears. What did she just say? Who was
dressed up? Did she just say "I"? Could it be that this feminine creature was a
boy in dresses? And what did she say about other boys who liked to dress as
girls? And everybody acted as if nothing was amiss! He did not understand the
world anymore. Or was this the sophisticated big city world? He probably was
just too square to understand it all on his first night out. "I will have a lot
to learn," he thought.
He looked at Coco again, trying to find some hint that would tell him if he had
heard correctly. Coco, who had continued her analysis of Mozart's probable
intentions, suddenly stopped, feeling his stare.
"Oh I am sorry, I didn't know that you didn't -. But of course you are new here.
To relieve your doubts and satisfy your curiosity: Yes, I am a boy, but I have
been living as a girl entirely for several years now. I like it and I want it
and I do it and I don't give a damn if anybody else doesn't like it."
"I am sure she did not mean any offense but it is probably the first time today
that she has seen such a pretty boy-girl," Aunt Margaret cut in.
He slowly caught his breath.
"Oh, no, no offense at all. It is just that you are so unbelievably pretty, and
your dress ... and, ah ... hair and ..."
He felt perfectly boorish.
"Well, I forgive you. And just to close this topic once and for all: I am not
one of those, 'homosexuals' Freud writes about. I do not make love with men. I
have a girlfriend, who could not come tonight, and I think Karl here is perfect
in his role as escort to me. Karl, be a darling and take me to the bar again. I
want another glass of champagne." She smiled sweetly at him and offered her arm
to be led away.
"I think you need another glass of champagne, too," Aunt Margaret said to
Jean-Marie, "Let's go and get some."
He could only follow quietly.
"I am sorry I did not prepare you for this surprise but, you see, it is not that
uncommon that a boy is wearing girls' clothes. Oh, by the way, I have not told
them about you."
During the entire rest of the performance he could not take his mind off what he
had just heard. Was it really possible that there were boys who lived as girls?
If what he had just heard was true, it must be so. But wasn't this utterly
wrong? Then he remembered his own very pleasant feelings when he was put into
the clothes he now wore. Maybe there was a similarity; maybe there were others
who had the same feelings, and maybe ...
Repeatedly he stole glances at Coco, who was sitting completely at ease at the
other end of the box. How could a boy be so feminine? Again, doubts rose within
him. Maybe they were just putting him on. But Coco had been so sincere and
matter of fact when she had spoken to him. He was completely confused. When the
performance ended and everybody walked out, he fell back behind the others, who
were chatting lightly about the performance. He remained very quiet on their way
home.
