THE PUTZ
By
Myron Lipshitz
INTRODUCTION
I'll be the first to admit it: I, Myron Lipshitz, am a classic grade-A putz.
Severe underbite, accentuated by a prominent acne-scarred nose... Skinny arms
and knock-kneed legs... My hairline has receded about two inches from where it
began, and I'm only thirty-three... Particularly unappealing are the two small,
breast-like cones of fat on my sunken chest - what one cruel jock back in high
school called my "bitch tits." Some chromosomal miswiring, I guess. About the
only thing going for me is a healthy, masculine outcropping of wiry black hair
on my neck and shoulders.
Still, there are plenty of guys who are as homely or homelier and still
manage to have reasonably normal, healthy lives.
But not me. You see, there's one tiny thing standing in my way.
My penis.
I have what's called a micropenis by the medical establishment. When I'm soft
it's just about buried in my pubic hair - the head is barely visible, a bump the
size of a macadamia nut, propped up on a scrotum so small and tight it's little
more than a raised patch of wrinkled red skin. At the height of passion and
excitement my so-called "manhood" measures just over two inches long, a bit
bigger than one of those lifeless canned straw mushrooms you find in cheap
Chinese food.
Even in the most mundane moments of my daily life my penis gives me trouble -
I have to aim it down with my fingers when I'm sitting on the toilet, for
example, or a stream of piss arcs up into the seat, soaking my pants.
But this is a minor problem. No, having a penis the size of a five-cent gumball
has caused me more trauma than any normal, healthy male can imagine...
I've divided my story into two parts. The first part sets the stage by
describing some deeply humiliating experiences I suffered as a small-dicked
youth. It's fun reading, but the really juicy stuff comes in the second and
third parts - where I marry Tina, the girl of my dreams... and learn some very
painful lessons about manhood.
***********************************************
