DARE TO GROW
by Chum
Chapter 1
I checked off my packing list for the fifth time, a new personal record,
but in my usual compulsive way I was determined not to overlook the smallest
detail. After all, it would be the first time I had traveled outside the
country. In fact I rarely left Brookline, but for rare business trips
occasioned by my job in the accounting division, and these I undertook with
dread.
My flight to the Bahamas was leaving in a few hours from Boston and I
wanted to check in at least two hours ahead, so I made a last inspection before
the full length mirror. Looking back was everything I wanted to change. Well,
not everything. I liked my lustrous long black hair, though I always wore it in
a bun in public the way mother had insisted a lady should. My pale Irish
complexion and bright green eyes were fine, but my brows were too heavy, my nose
a fraction too long, and my mouth had a drawn together look, as though I were
constantly disapproving of the world around me.
People said I was pretty, though in the case of women such compliments
always included deflating attachments that started out with, "but you really
should do something about," and went on to trash my hair style, makeup, or
something else, then wrapped up with some variation of, "You have so much
potential, it's a shame to waste it.
Several people at work had made the observation that I looked just like
Lilith, a character from the old TV comedy, "Cheers." I wasn't sure whether
they meant I looked like the actress (though there was a striking resemblance)
or that my personality resembled the aloof, prissy, and anal retentive traits
written into Lilith's role. I know this is how I came across to people, but it
wasn't the person I wanted to be.
I didn't want to be a virgin at 28. I didn't want to hide my upturned
breasts, trim waist, and well contoured hips. But my man hating mother's voice
lived on in my mind, making sure I would keep even my shapely dancers legs
hidden, lest I fall prey to some roaming male beast.
