Whore
What, you want to know how I got into this? Are you serious, you're paying me
just to talk? Hey, hey, that's cool, it's your money, baby. Missy'll do
whatever you want, and if it's talk you want, then I can talk up a storm for
you, honey. My first time? First time what, baby? First time I let a boy
touch me? Oh, yeah, I remember. A girl never forgets. You want me to tell
you? Okay, baby, you want me to do anything else for you, honey, want me to
make you feel good while I tell you?
Okay, okay, have it your way, sweetie. I was thirteen. He said he loved me,
you know? My dad was a real fuck case, religious freak. Was always telling me
how my body was sacred and I shouldn't ever even think about doing things with
boys. How my 'maidenhood' was the only thing of worth I could give to my future
husband. He wouldn't let me lock the bathroom door, used to come in while I
took baths to make sure I wasn't touching myself. I wasn't even allowed to wear
tampons, he used to check, you know? No, really, he used to make me take off my
panties while I was on my period so he could make sure I didn't have a tampon
in. What? Oh, with his finger, he'd stick his finger all the way in my pussy.
Oooh, you like that, don't you? Hey, whatever, okay.
I met this boy at school. He wasn't a student, he was picking up his little
sister. He was almost 23, and I thought he was so handsome. He talked to me,
you know? Told me how pretty I was, told me how smart I was. He was always
asking me out, but I knew my dad would just freak at the idea. I wasn't even
allowed to go out with boys my own age! But he told me how to make up an
excuse, lie so my dad thought I was someplace else. And I wanted to, I was
scared but really psyched too, you know? This boy, this man really, he said he
just wanted to take me someplace where we could talk. He said he could tell how
bad I needed to really talk to someone who cared. He said he cared. A lot.
Said he was falling in love with me. So I did it, I lied and told my dad I was
going to be at my friend's house doing homework for science class. Brian-his
name was Brian, by the way---picked me up from down the street from school.
Said it wouldn't do to have anyone see me get in his car. So I met him down the
street and we went driving. He took me all the way to St. George-huh? Oh, I
lived in southern Utah, a town called Hurricane. No, not like that, they say it
like her-uh-kin. Yeah, funny, isn't it? Anyway, he took me to St. George, and
we got food at McDonald's. He was teasing me about the way I was dressed-my dad
made me wear long dresses all the time. I didn't even own a pair of pants. My
mom? My mom died when I was 6. I don't know, she probably just couldn't stand
living with my dad anymore.
When we got done eating, he said he wanted to go somewhere where nobody would
maybe see me and get me in trouble. Somewhere we could talk with no one else
hearing. So we drove out into the desert, to a place called Snow Canyon. Ever
see Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid? You know that cool place with the red
rocks and the sort of pinkish tan sand? That's Snow Canyon. Bunch of condos
and shit there now, but back then it was just empty. It was dark when we got
there-really cold. What? Oh, It was January. Almost my birthday. Oh, hey,
thanks, baby, that's sweet. I told him about my dad, how he watched me in the
bathroom, how he used to pull my dress up to feel my panties to make sure I
wasn't thinking bad things. Brian asked me if I ever thought about boys, about
doing bad things. I said yes. It was true, you know? But my thoughts were so
innocent! I thought about kissing and stuff. Brian asked if I wanted him to
kiss me. I said I did. I was feeling so mad and just wanted to do something
bad.
He started kissing me, and it was really nice, just like in the movies I used to
watch at my friend's house. He touched my titties-you like titties? I can call
them boobs, boobies, breasts, whatever makes you happy, baby. Titties is good?
Okay, honey, titties it is. He touched my titties through my sweater, asked if
I liked it. And I did, you know? It felt really good. So he told me that if I
pulled my sweater up it would feel even better. So I let him push my sweater
up, and he touched me through my bra. I had my eyes closed, it felt so good.
Sure, I'd touched my titties myself, but letting a boy do it was so exciting.
He asked me if I was being a bad girl, asked if my panties were wet. I said no,
and he said he didn't believe me. Told me I had to let him check. So I did,
because I had to, you know?
He pulled my skirt up and reached into my panties. I was so wet, just dripping.
He told me how bad I was, how if he told my dad, my dad would hurt me, would
make me stay in my room forever. I got scared---begged him not to tell my dad.
He asked me what I'd do to keep him from telling. I asked him what he wanted
me to do. He unzipped his pants and took his cock out. I didn't know they were
called cocks then, I just thought of it as his thing. Isn't that funny, his
thing? I'd never seen one before, I was really grossed out. He grabbed my wrist
and told me to touch it. I didn't want to, but he said he'd tell on me. So I
did. He pushed my fingers around it and made me rub it, you know? Jerk him
off. Except he made me stop. He told me that I had to put it in my mouth. I
said no, no way. That I didn't care if he told me dad, I wasn't going to do
that. I was lying, hoping maybe he would stop, because I did care, I would
have done anything to keep him from getting me in trouble.
He called me a bitch, a tease, and he climbed up on me so he was on my chest. I
couldn't get him off of me, I tried. What? Yes, I was crying. No, I wasn't
screaming, I was afraid someone would hear and come see. Hey, I was thirteen,
all I knew is that if someone saw they might tell on me. He kneeled on my arms
then grabbed my hair with one hand and pulled it toward him. His cock was just
bobbing there against my lips---ooh, now I know you like that. Okay, okay. I
was crying and trying to move my head away and just begging him please, please
don't make me put your thing in my mouth please, you cant touch my titties, I'll
rub your thing more but please, please don't. He pinched my mouth open and
shoved his cock in, yanked my hair so it was all the way in my face. I was so
scared, I was gagging, you know? And he just started fucking my face hard, and
I couldn't breathe, I was choking on it, just trying get some air. It felt like
it lasted forever, he just kept thrusting into my mouth, and he was laughing at
me, telling me what a good little cock sucker I was. And you know what? I
didn't even know about cum. I know, I was so innocent. His cock started
jerking and twitching and suddenly my mouth was full of all this salty, sour
guck. And he kept his cock in my mouth so I had to swallow, pulled my head to
his belly so I couldn't help but drink it down. Some of it ran out and on to my
sweater. I was crying, moaning, trying to catch my breath. He told me to get
decent, and climbed off me.
I sat up and pulled my skirt and sweater down. I was just sobbing. He started
the car, then started talking. Told me that he was sorry, it was just that I
was so beautiful, and he loved me so much, that he just lost control. That it
hurt him so bad that he had scared me, that maybe he was going to go home and
kill himself. I begged him not to, said I understood, it was okay, I loved him,
too. He smiled, stroked my face, said he wouldn't do it if I promised I loved
him, that I would see him again, let him listen to me, be there for me. So I
promised. Yeah, I know. I was stupid.
He dropped me off a couple blocks from my house so no one would see. I walked
home, and my dad was waiting. Said he knew I hadn't been at my friend's house,
he'd called. He asked if I'd been with a boy. I said no. He grabbed me by the
hair, called me a whore and a liar. He took off his belt and told me to pull my
skirt up, bend over. I did. And he whipped me hard. My butt was sore and all
welted when he finished, and he was breathing hard. It was the first time I
realized that his cock got hard when he hurt me, you know? Yeah, he was fucking
sick, he got off on it. He saw that I saw, and he slapped my face hard. I was
crying when he made me go to my room. He made me stay there the whole night,
wouldn't even let me come out to go to the bathroom.
So that's it. The first time I let a boy touch me. Was that good for you,
baby, did you like it? Would you like to do that to me? Push me down and climb
on me, pull my hair and make me suck your cock? I could cry for you, make you
really make me do it. Oh, baby, you are a strange one, aren't you? Okay, the
first time someone fucked me? Ooh, you ready for this one? My dad. No,
really, no shit. Because of me and Brian. He came to school, saw me talking to
Brian outside. What's so funny is that I was telling Brian no, I couldn't go
out with him again because I'd get in trouble. My dad dragged me into the car
and just kept hitting me while he was driving. He dragged me into the house,
told me what a whore I was, how in the bible they stone whores, the kill them,
and how I deserved that, too. How I was evil and stupid and he wished he'd
never fathered me. He kept asking if I'd let that nasty boy inside me, if I'd
let him put his thing in my hole. I was crying, screaming no, no I hadn't let
him, I'd never let anyone. My dad dragged me to the basement and pushed me over
his work table. He said he knew I was lying, that he was going to find out
himself. He pushed my skirt up and yanked off my panties. I didn't know, I
really didn't know what he was going to do. I thought maybe he was going to
stick his finger in like he did sometimes. That hurt, but not bad. But he
didn't. Bet you know what he stuck in there, don't you honey? Mmmm, yeah,
that's right. He had me trapped against that table and he pulled his cock out.
I heard his zipper and then I knew, but I couldn't believe it, you know? I was
just crying, begging him daddy please don't, I'm sorry, I didn't do it, I'll
never do it. I started screaming and kicking when he started pushing it into
me. I was bucking and squealing like a bronc, just trying to get him off me.
He held me down and told me to stop fighting, told me I was a worthless whore
and he would find out, by God, he'd know if I was lying or not. I don't
remember when I stopped fighting, all I know is he went forever, just humping
and heaving on me while I whined. He pulled my hair and started biting my back
while he slammed into me harder and harder. Finally, he came, and I remember
how it felt to have his cock twitching inside me, his cum shooting into me. He
pulled out and I just laid there on my belly, his cum and my blood running down
my thighs. He started to yell at me, told me to not lay there like some brazen
whore, to have some shame, go clean myself up. Everything hurt, every part of
me, just walking up the stairs was agony. I took a hot bath, tried to wash it
off me, out of me.
How was that, happy now? You're sorry? Sweetie, you're a man, you're not too
sorry. How did I go from that to this? Oh, honey, that's a long, sad story.
You really want to hear this, huh? Gonna run you over on your time, you'll have
to pay more. Okay, sure, if you want to hear it, baby, it's my job to make you
happy.
After my dad fucked me, I just knew I had to get away forever, you know? And I
only knew one person who could help me---Brian. So in the middle of the night I
climbed out my window. I went to school and waited in the park across the
street. What? Oh, because I didn't know where he lived, he didn't live at home
anymore. But I knew he'd be taking his sister to school the next day, you know?
So when I saw him drive up the next morning I walked up to him. I was so cold,
shivering, crying. He told me to get in the car quick, he could take me to a
friend's apartment where I could stay until he could figure things out.
His friend was really weird-stoned, but I didn't know that then. But he was
nice enough, I guess, he made me food and gave me a coat that he said I could
keep. Brian came that night, said we were going to California. I was scared.
California? Why? Brian said that he had friends there who would help me and
give me a job. He said my dad would never find me there. That I could just be
normal and wear pants and have friends and everything. He said we were leaving
that night.
The drive was really long, and we stopped at a motel in Vegas because Brian was
tired. He told me I had to stay in the car while he got the room because if the
people inside saw me they might call the police and make me go back. So I
stayed while he went in, then we drove around to the room. He said I should
stay and he would go get food. When he came back, he had food-and clothes.
Clothes like I had never had. Jeans that were really tight-he said that was an
accident, that he just had to guess at my size. Low cut shirts and tight tank
tops. I was so excited. Ah, baby, don't look sad, it doesn't matter anymore.
Then he said it was time for me to do something nice for him. I knew, I wasn't
that stupid, you know? I started to cry, and he told me that if I was going to
be an ungrateful baby he'd just call my dad right then and there. So I let him
put his cock in my mouth again. On my knees in front of him, and he's pushing
his tool in my mouth and yanking my head back and forth. He kept telling me to
suck it, suck it, called me a bitch, told me that I'd better put some effort in
because if I didn't get better at it his friends in California wouldn't let me
stay. Said he was just doing this for my own good. I didn't know what he
meant.
When we got to SoCal, we stopped at a motel in Anaheim. It was so sleazy, there
were roaches and shit and the sheets were stained. There was no phone, and he
told me to stay there while he went out to make a call. He said he was going to
call his friends so they would know we were there. I asked him if we could go
to Disneyland. He laughed and said yeah, we could, we'd do all the rides. When
he came back, he said that his friends were waiting, and asked if I'd ever
wanted to be in a movie. I got really excited, because I did, you know, I
always dreamed of being an actress. He said that he was taking me to a film
set and that if his friends liked me they would put me in their movie. He'd
bought me make up and he helped me put it on. I'd never worn make up before.
I thought I looked pretty and mature but I know now I just looked like a whore.
The movie set was in a warehouse near the docks. I got nervous but he told me
not to worry because it was a location shoot. I felt really grown up and in on
something really important. I wasn't mad at him for making me do things, I just
figured that he was right and I owed him. Besides, he was grown up and he knew
how stuff went with grownups. I was just being a baby and if I wanted to keep
him I'd have to stop being so immature. No, I don't believe that. Bullshit,
darlin', that's exactly how it goes. Ask any girl.
When we walked in there was a bunch of men there. They looked rich to me, had
nice clothes on and stuff. There were cameras and lights on rails and a bed and
table. They said they were going to do a screen test. A screen test, can you
believe that? Of course they did. You want to hear it? Sweetie, you're pretty
much out of time. Oh, yeah, that'll cover another hour, baby, no problem.
They told me to sit at the table and talk to one of the men. They said he would
just ask me stuff and I should act naturally. He asked me about my dad, about
if I had any friends or family in California. Did I think my dad was looking
for me? Did I think I would ever want to call him, to go back home? He asked
me if I'd ever had a boyfriend, and I got really embarrassed, but I said no
because Brian said I shouldn't tell anyone. He got up and came over to me,
started to rub my shoulders and asked me if I would take my shirt off so they
could see if I was right for what they wanted. I said no. He told me I had to
because they'd already paid Brian a lot of money. I said I wanted to go, that
this wasn't what I thought it would be.
Baby, you okay? You sure you want to hear this, we can do something else, you
know? We can do just about anything you want. Honey, we can play Scrabble if
you want. No, I don't mind tellin' it, but you don't look so good. Okay, okay.
I tried to leave and he slapped me hard. I fell down, then tried to get up
again but he grabbed me by the hair and dragged me to the bed. I was screaming
for Brian to help me but he just laughed at me and left. He left me alone
there. The guy threw me on the bed and knelt on my belly. I was screaming and
crying and trying to get him off me. He pushed my tank top up and ripped my bra
open. I was hitting at him and I tried to scratch him but he grabbed both my
wrists with one hand and held them over my head while he touched my titties. He
kissed me hard and his breath was stale with smoke and beer. He laid down on
top of me and tried to unzip my pants but I squirmed and got loose from him. He
grabbed my hair again and yelled that he needed a hand with the bitch. With me.
Another man came over and straddled my chest and held my arms down with both his
hands. I was kicking and screaming, begging them to please let me go. That I
was sorry, I would go home, just please let me go home. They didn't even talk
to me or anything, they just held me down and pulled my jeans down, then ripped
my panties off.
I could hear him unzipping his pants down there and I knew he was going to fuck
me. I don't think I realized it until that moment. What did I think he was
going to do? Fuck if I know, I was 13. He pulled my legs up over his shoulders
and held me by the thighs. He started poking around and I was just screaming
and jerking my hips trying to keep him out of me. He jammed it in me so hard
and I honestly couldn't breathe for a minute. The guy sitting on me pulled my
arms down and kneeled on them, then unzipped his pants. He laughed and said he
knew how much I loved sucking cock, Brian had told him. He grabbed my hair and
forced my mouth open and pushed his dick in. He had a huge dick, you know? A
lot bigger than Brian's. They started fucking on me hard, just ramming their
cocks into my pussy and mouth and I couldn't even breathe. I just kept bucking
and squirming and trying to get them off me, out of me. The guy fucking me came
inside me some, then pulled out and finished on my belly. The other guy got mad
because some of it got on his pants. Oh, come on, it's okay to laugh, it's
funny. The guy in my mouth came all over, in my mouth, on my face. It got in
my eyes. I was crying so hard and just gasping. My belly hurt and I just
wanted to go to sleep, you know? I curled up on my side and tried to wipe the
spunk off my face.
Two more guys came over and one of them pushed me over so I was on my belly. He
grabbed me under my hips and pulled me to my knees. I thought he was going to
fuck me the way my dad did. I was crying and saying that they'd already done it
to me couldn't they just leave me alone now? You wanna hear something funny? I
didn't even know the cameras were on. I found that out later when I saw it in a
theater downtown. That was years later, I looked so small and scared, you know?
Like I was a whole different person. Anyway, they were laughing at me and he
started pushing his cock against my asshole. I didn't even know you could do
that. He pushed harder and it hurt so bad, I just started screaming and
thrashing around. But he was a big guy, and he just held me tight while he
rammed it into me. It felt like he was splitting me in two, sometimes he thrust
in me so hard it lifted me off my knees.
Another guy got in front of me and he was black. I was hurting so bad but I
remembered all the stuff my dad told me about blacks and I started crying even
harder and just saying please, please, no, please. He pulled his cock out and
it was so fucking big. I mean, you hear about black guys and their cocks, you
know? It's true. Fuckers are giant. So now I got this big black tool in my
mouth and this other guy drilling my ass. I kept trying to push the guy out of
my mouth, you know, so I can get some air? Pushing on his legs, on his hips,
with one hand while I held myself up with the other. What? I had to, honey, if
I didn't hold myself up with my hand he held me up by my hair, and that hurt
bad. I didn't even know about balls, didn't know I could hurt him back.
Probably better I didn't do nothing, he would have fucked me up big time, I'll
bet.
The guy in my ass started fucking harder and harder, just furious, you know. I
didn't know then that that meant he was about to cum. I already had the first
guy's cum running down my thighs. And then this fucker explodes in my ass and
it felt just awful, like I had to shit, like I was full. Then the black guy
came all over my face, just splattered jizz all over, even in my hair. I almost
threw up, you know? But I didn't. Why? Well, because I don't like to puke.
Never did.
They let me lay there for a little while, I don't know what they were doing. Or
I didn't know-I know now. Hmmm? They were gettin' hard again, sweetie. Oh,
honey, you haven't been around much, have you? No, sweetie, don't be
embarrassed, I think it's cute. No, really, I think you're really nice, I like
you. Anyway, so then they come back at me and they've got rope. I started
fighting again, big time. It's funny, 'cause they'd already pretty much fucked
everything I had to fuck, but still, the idea of being tied up just freaked me
out even worse. They held me down and tied my hands behind my back. Then they
wrapped the rope around and around me so my titties were all tied and squeezed.
They tied the rope in my hair and yanked my head all the way back, tied it to my
wrists. I had big titties, did I tell you that? Yeah, I was really developed
for 13, was in like a C cup. So now I'm all tied up and my titties are stickin'
out and my head is back so far I can't see nothing but the ceiling. Then they
grabbed my legs and pulled them back and tied them to my neck. Really, no shit,
they wrapped the rope around my throat a bunch of times. No, it wasn't like a
slip knot, it was kinda hard to breathe but not like I was gonna strangle or
anything.
So then they just kinda picked me up and there's nothing I can do 'cause they
got me all trussed up like a turkey, you know? The black one was laying on his
back with his cock up in the air, and they just sort of pushed me down on it so
it was in my ass. Not facing his head though, they had me backwards. It hurt
just as bad that time, but I was all tied up and really tired by then. I
screamed but it was weird, it didn't even sound like me. What? Yeah, yeah,
that's exactly what they did, they double fucked me, ass and cunt. Triple
fucked, really, 'cause one of them fucked my face again. Oh, yeah, uh huh.
They tore me bad when they doubled me. They actually had someone put stitches
in me when they were done. That was the first time they shot me up. 'Cause
they took me to a house and when they started stitching me I started screaming,
and even when they taped my mouth I was still screaming so they shot me up.
Well, heroin, silly, what else? Yeah, yeah I still do. Oh, honey, you don't
need to worry, I get tested all the time and I never share needles or nothing
like that. I even use rubbers if a guy looks dirty or if he has tracks.
Huh? Well, sweetie, that's pretty much it. No, they just kept selling me until
I stopped fighting it, you know? It didn't take long, I mean, what was I going
to do? For the first while they took me places, motel rooms and stuff, and they
were always there, I couldn't get away from them. When they made me start
walking, I tried once. But they caught me, and they beat the shit out of me.
See this, these scars right here on my thighs? They burned me with their
cigarettes. No, you know, it's okay, I'm not sad or nothing. I mean, I'm good
at what I do, and besides, who'd want me? Oh, you know what I mean, who'd want
me for anything but sex? What? No, baby, I never did get to go to
Disneyland. But I keep hoping, you know?
What are you doing? Oh, I knew you'd come around baby, I knew you wanted me.
How you want it, sweetie? Mmm, rough, okay. Hey, honey, take it easy lover, we
still got some time. You want to tie me up? Like they did? Oh, baby, you are
kinky, I knew you were, I knew you were getting off on it. You want me to cry
while you do it? Okay, baby, I'll just pretend I'm little and scared and you
can tie me up and do it to me. Hey, hey, come on, not so tight, huh? I'm not
going anywhere. Hey, you're really good with ropes, where'd you learn that?
What the fuck is that supposed to mean? The last bitch you killed? That's not
funny, you know, I had a friend who-don't do that, I don't like that shit, not
around my neck. Look, fuck you, stop now. I mean it, stop it, you can have
your fucking money back, you stupid fuck. Stop it! No, listen, please, I
can't breathe, it's too tight, you can't do a slip knot. No, don't fuck me,
please, not like this I can't breathe, just take the rope off my throat and then
I'll fuck you good. Ooh, Jesus, pleeaaase, not tighter, please, God, help me,
please, just stop I'll do anything you want, do you any way you like it . . .
