"Three Roasted Princesses"
(copyright Audrey Ermine 2002)
Victoria's fairy tale costume party was a tremendous success. She herself
had chosen to be the Snow Queen, wearing a sparkling silver dress and a white
fur coat. Penny, her best friend, wore a pointed witch's hat, a short black
dress and fishnet stockings. But everybody's eyes were on the three girls who
had dressed as princesses. There was Lisa, a beautiful creature with flowing
black hair. Stephanie was a glamorous blonde, people were always telling her
that she looked like a movie star. Then there was Rachel, a pretty Chinese girl.
All three of them were wearing tiaras and pink taffeta dresses. They were a real
feast for the eyes.
The whole party was playing a dice game. This involved increasingly serious
forfeits; already, a Snow White was tied to a chair, with duct tape over her
mouth. Looking longingly at the three princesses, Victoria had a wicked idea.
"It's not a fairy tale unless somebody gets eaten. How about... If I roll a
three, we cook the princesses?"
The princesses exchanged excited looks and huddled together in mock terror.
The rest of the girls expressed their approval. Three nineteen-year-old
princesses sounded like a perfect party treat.
Victoria rolled the die. It was a three. Everybody, not least the
princesses, shrieked with excitement.
"How shall we cook them?" asked Victoria.
"Let's make a stew out of them!" said Penny the witch. The princesses
giggled at the thought of boiling together in a witch's cauldron.
Victoria thought about this. "No, I've got a better idea. Let's put them in
the oven."
It was agreed. Two French maids volunteered to cook them. (Victoria didn't
see why there should be French maids at a fairy tale party, but she wasn't
complaining.) And so the maids took the three captive princesses into the
kitchen.
The two French maids, Nicole and Felicity, instructed the princesses to sit
on the table while they started their preparations. First, the oven had to be
pre-heated. They were pleasantly surprised to find that Victoria's house had a
unusually large oven. If the oven hadn't been big enough for one girl, let alone
three, they would have had to let the princesses go.
Lisa could feel her heart beating. She wasn't at all upset about being
eaten, it seemed like a fun experience. She especially liked the thought of
being cooked next to Rachel. Being prepared by Nicole and Felicity in their
frilly maid uniforms was also an attractive prospect.
Nicole took charge. "Well, the first thing for you girls to do is take off
your dresses, however pretty they may be."
The princesses obliged, standing up and stripping out of their pink dresses.
Penny chose this moment to stroll into the room to watch the cooking procedure,
and was very glad that she had. The princesses removed their shoes, their
underwear and finally their tiaras. Now they were completely naked.
Victoria looked into the kitchen. "There's some rope in the second drawer if
you need it," she said, before she went back to tormenting Snow White.
"Yes, that's right!" said Nicole, clapping her hands. "Now we have to tie
you up so that you can't escape." She took out the lengths of rope and bound
Stephanie's wrists and ankles, then did the same to Lisa. Felicity tied up
Rachel, while Penny watched happily.
The nude princesses were trussed up like turkeys ready to be roasted. I want
to see them struggle," said Penny. Obligingly, the girls wriggled to escape
their bonds. To their delight ,they found that they were securely bound.
After some searching, the maids found some cooking oil and basting brushes.
"Time to be basted, my pretties," said Nicole. She tentatively dipped the
brush into the oil, then applied it to Lisa's thigh. Lisa squealed and tried to
kick her legs playfully, but the rope kept her restrained. Felicity used her own
brush and started basting Rachel. Penny thought that this was too much for just
watching, joining in with basting Stephanie.
After much careful brushing, paying special attention to their delicate
parts, the princesses were all basted. "A delicious roast needs herbs," said
Penny, producing a pot of herbs and sprinkling them liberally on each girl.
"Are they ready?" asked Nicole.
"Just one last touch," said Felicity. She had found three apples, each one
the perfect size for putting in a girl's mouth. The princesses realised that
this was the time for last requests.
"Could we have a last kiss before we go into the hot oven?" asked Lisa,
batting her eyelashes. Nicole kissed her. Felicity kissed Stephanie, Penny
kissed Rachel. Then they leaned in with the apple for each girl's mouth.
"Isn't a handsome prince going to rescue us?" asked Stephanie.
"No, I don't think there's any hope for you, my pretty," replied Penny. She
forced the apple into Stephanie's mouth. The maids did the same to their girls.
Now the princesses were ready to be cooked. Felicity found some baking trays
which were just about big enough, so the maids lifted each girl onto a tray.
(Nicole thought it rather strange that Victoria's kitchen was so well-equipped
for work like this, but she was having too much fun to think about it for long.)
Penny returned to the party, deciding that this was too much hard work. Felicity
opened the door of the oven, which was now perfectly hot enough to cook a girl,
and each princess in turn was pushed in. Stephanie went in first, followed by
Rachel and Lisa. Rachel was in the middle, adding a touch of oriental spice to
the two western beauties.
The need for the girls to be cooked meant that the party went on for longer
than had been expected, but nobody complained when the feast of princess meat
began. Lisa, Stephanie and Rachel looked more beautiful than ever, each roasted
to perfection. Stomachs could be heard rumbling as the maids brought the roasted
girls into the dining room on platters.
Victoria was glad that she had invited twenty girls to her party, otherwise
some of the meat would have been wasted. (Snow White was untied so that she
could eat girl flesh with everyone else.) As it was, nobody went hungry, and the
girls were all very full by the time the last morsel of princess had been eaten.
And, with the exceptions of Lisa, Stephanie and Rachel, they all lived
happily ever after.
