Making Me Hers

Chapter 1:

A Dark Connection is Made

I met her online.  At first, I was surprised a woman of her beauty was even conversing with me.  Don’t get me wrong; I’m not what most people would refer to as unattractive.  But, I scored a big zero on my final in that extracurricular four-year college course on seducing a woman.  I’d say I was a giant pussy around attractive women, but I have way too much respect for female genitalia to make such a comparison. 

I was further taken aback because she presented herself as a submissive woman looking for dominant men.  Then, I discovered that, like me, she was drawn to the darker, depraved, twisted, and evil side of human sexuality.  She told me that she loved to be used, abused, humiliated, and fucked all in service to deserving alpha men, but that she also got off on seriously fucking up beta males physically, mentally, and emotionally.

In an effort to see just how twisted she was, I sent her a link to the most twisted story I had read up to that point called “De-Manning Hubby”.  This story is told from the point of view of the wife, Shannon.  She discovers that her husband, Jolti, has a submissive side and in time develops an overwhelming urge to completely destroy him.  In the end, with the help of her Black fiancé’s cruel sister, she convinces Jolti to give his life to her with promises she rescinds as he’s taking his final breaths. 

After reading the story, she came back online to tell me that she had come while reading the “sick and fucked up” story.  I sent her back a message that I had come on multiple occasions while fantasizing about being ‘Jolti’ in various scenarios.  The next day, she responded that she, too, had fantasized about making me Jolti.  My dick went from flaccid to throbbing in a matter of seconds and I couldn’t breathe.  In my mind, that was the most erotic words a woman could ever say.  I told her how shocked I was and that I thought I was in love with her.  No surprise, I didn’t hear back from her.  I thought I had blown it.

However, after a few weeks where I couldn’t stop thinking about her, I had to give it one more try.  I sent her a message saying that I wasn’t trying to be creepy or literal as I didn’t even know her, but that I was very excited by her words, and that she was one of the most intriguing women I ever met.  She responded a couple days later that she wasn’t creeped out by me, more by her feelings towards me.  She was scared by the fact that she wanted to hurt me in twisted, violent, and illegal ways and, worse yet, knew I’d let her do whatever she wanted.  So, she thought it best for her sanity and my safety that we just left each other alone.

I wasn’t sure how to respond.  I wanted to tell her that, yes, I would let her hurt me in any way she wanted, that bringing an orgasm to a sadistic woman was worth whatever price I had to pay, but I knew that wouldn’t be well received.  Instead, I suggested we talk about something different.  I asked her about her masochistic urges and fantasies.  I outlined different scenarios I’d seen or heard about that she would enjoy.  And so began an online friendship where we would discuss our lives and give each other links that we knew would turn each other on, but there was no more talk of “us” or things we’d do to each other.  We liked each other as people and there seemed to be a mutual respect, or, at least, she respected me as much as a woman could respect a self-described beta male.

Then, one day in the middle of October, she asked me about my plans for the weekend.  I told her I was going to a BDSM club, the name of it, and what street it was on.  She asked if I was serious and informed me that she lived about twenty minutes away from the location, but wasn’t aware of the club.  I was amazed that all this time she had been so close to me geographically although I was afraid to make her uncomfortable by inquiring where she lived.  I was fairly sure that she’d be on the other side of the country as normally is the case when I meet a woman online who I share things in common with.

I had to take the chance.  I asked if she would be interested in meeting me outside around 8:00 so I could pay for her to get in.  I told her that we didn’t have to do anything together and she was welcome to play with any dominant men she wanted to once inside.  I said it would be crazy if we didn’t at least meet face to face.  She responded back that she’d see me there, but she wanted me to wait outside and wear a pink shirt so she knew who I was.

Now, mind you, I didn’t own a pink shirt and had never worn a pink shirt.  I so wanted to message her back and tell her I’d wear a red one instead, but didn’t dare for fear that she’d back out.  Since the doors opened at 8:00, I was there waiting outside at 7:30.  Eight o’clock came and went, as did nine o’clock.  By ten, I was pretty well convinced that she had stood me up or saw me and decided to go in without me.  I had already told multiple people that I was waiting for someone and even heard a few snicker as they passed me several times to come out and smoke.  Still, I waited.  My feet were throbbing by the time I looked down at my phone and it read 10:45.  I shook my head, realizing it was time to salvage whatever pride I had left.  As I turned to leave, I looked up and there she was.

“Mike?” she asked.

“Kim?” I stupidly responded.

“Okay, nice to meet you and all, but let’s talk inside.  It’s freezing out here!  I didn’t keep you waiting long, did I?” she asked rhetorically.

When we got inside, she marveled at the equipment sent up in the middle of the room with people playing.  At that point, it was all fully dressed male tops tying up, whipping, flogging, and paddling naked female bottoms.  We found a table in the corner of the room and sat down.

She started, “I must say.  You aren’t nearly as short, fat, or ugly as I imagined you to be.  In fact, you’re actually pretty cute.”

If Barbie were to get substantial breast and moderate ass implants, she would look like Kim’s less attractive older sister.  Her body is perfection at it’s best.  Her beauty is, quite literally, to die for.  So for her to compliment me, I was taken aback.  All I could do was blush as I uttered, “Thank you.  And you are every bit as stunning as your photos.” 

“I know,” she smirked.

We went on to discuss our weeks and other random things.  About ten minutes into our conversation, a relatively good looking man who was about 5’2”, thin, but fairly muscular approached us, “Hello, my name is Eric.  I haven’t seen you two around here before.  Are you new?” 

I had been to several of these events and had even seen him a time or two, but I didn’t see the point in correcting him when she responded, “Yes, I am.  Hey are you into tying girls up and beating them?”

He looked down at her chest, “Why, yes, I am.”

She stood, then placed her hands on the sides of her boobs, pressing them together, “Do you want to touch them?”

He looked at me and displaying mild concern, inquired, “What about him?”

“Oh, he doesn’t get to touch them.  He’s just a sissy.”

I shook my head.  I told her I wasn’t into that whole sissy thing.  He looked at me, shook his head and chuckled, “His loss, my gain.”  He then proceeded to grope and squeeze her mammoth boobs.  “So, do you want to play with a real man, then?” he asked without even acknowledging my presence this time.

She giggled, “Of course.  That’s why I’m here.”

“So, what are you into?  Any hard limits?”

“Not really.  None that I’m aware of yet, at least.  I just want to be dominated, used, and abused.”

“Okay, I can do that.  But, I’ll take it easy on you since you’re new.  I’ll start with a paddle, then a flogger, then a cane.  Red, stop.  Yellow, slow.  Okay?”

“Sounds good.”

“Strip,” he commanded.

She looked at me, “Watch my stuff, would ya’?”  She faced him, took off her top and then her bra.  Then she knelt and slid off her shoes and socks.  She stood and I enjoyed watching her shimmy out of her tight jeans revealing her lovely thong clad ass just a foot from my face.  Then the thong came off and I caught a glimpse of her pussy.

“Follow,” he ordered.

I intently watched her walk away.  I had to strain my neck to see as he lead her to the far side of the room and tied her to a St. Andrew’s cross.  I then picked up her clothes, folded them and placed them on her chair.  My view was obstructed by other people playing most of the time, but every so often I caught a glimpse of what he was doing to her.  After about a half hour, she came back over to me.  Her tits were bruised and welted.  Her pussy glistened as did the inside of her thighs.  She turned around to show me the bruises and welts on her ass and the welts on her back.  “That was amazing,” she said before getting dressed.  “Are you ready to get out of here?” 

“Sure,” I replied, though the last thing I wanted to do was part ways with her so soon. 

I walked her to her car.  “Where are you parked?”

“I’m a couple blocks over.”

“Okay, pull up behind me and then you can follow me back to my place.”

“Sounds good,” I said.  But, really, it sounded great.  I couldn’t believe she was inviting me back to her house.  After all, we just met for the first time in real life and barely got to know each other at all at the club.

When, we arrived at her apartment, she invited me in and told me to sit on the couch while she made us some drinks.  She came back and handed me a cherry vodka with lemon lime soda.  I thanked her, took a sip and sat in on a coaster on the coffee table.  She sat down next to me and turned on the tv.

“Nice place,” I said.

“Thank you, but there’s no need for small talk.  Stand up,” she ordered.

When I did, she unfastened my belt buckle, unbuttoned my jeans and pulled them down.  Next came the boxers.  She then giggled, which caused me a great deal of embarrassment, figuring she was amused by my apparent lack of endowment.  “He’s sleeping,” she whispered, “Guess I’ll just have to wake him up.”  With that, she took my soft prick into her mouth and began stroking the underside with her tongue.  It didn’t take long before my little guy was fully awake.

“There, that’s better,” she teased.  “Not bad.  Kinda on the short side, but it’s pretty thick and I love the way it curves upward.  I bet that would feel awesome on my g spot.”  For the first time in my entire life, I was proud of my cock.  “Sit down and finish your drink and then we can go into my room.”

I was very excited.  I didn’t expect to ever have the opportunity to fuck a woman, let alone a woman like her, and never in my wildest dreams on the first date!  When we made it to her room, we both undressed and then she had me lay on the bed on my back.  Next, she brought out some handcuffs, which she used to cuff my wrists to the metal frame headboard and my ankles to the metal frame footboard.  My excitement was made apparent by my cock boucing up and down, which she took notice of, “Looks like somebody’s ready for this.  Wait ‘til he feels what I’ve got in store for him.”

I saw her pick something up off the floor, before she climbed up on the bed on her feet, turning so her ass faced me.  She stepped backward until she caught my bicep with her heel.  Then she knelt down, planting her pussy over my mouth.  “Lick,” she ordered.  I happily obliged.  As I was doing so, I heard a few cracks and felt the sharp pain in my cock.  I realized she was hitting it with a belt.  That wasn’t what I expected to feel, but just went with it, licking her pussy the whole time, occasionally grunting and moaning into it. 

“Oh, the head of your cock is so fucking red, it reminds me of something!”  She stood up.  “Now, let me remember where I put that.  Oh,yeah.”  She walked over to her closet and reached up on the top shelf.  She pulled out a box that looked like a fishing tackle box.  She brought it over to the bed and opened it.  “Here it is,” she stated as she pulled out one of those tomato shaped pincushions and sat it down on the bed.   She pulled out a crotchet needle and sat it next to it, “Oh, we can use this, too!”  She ten shut the box and sat it on the floor.  She held up the pincushion next to my dick, “Now doesn’t this look just like the head of your cock?” 

I struggled to look.  “A little, I guess.”

“It’s bigger, of course, but if we use the shaft too, I’m sure we can make your cock hold as many…” As she was talking, I realized what she was planning and interrupted, “Please, DON”T!”

 

“Please don’t what?” she snarled.  “Please don’t smack your rude, interrupting mouth?  Please don’t stab you in the eye with this crotchet needle?”  She picked it up and I was starting to tremble realizing I had just made a woman who I knew to have dark and wicked desires violently angry.  “Oh, I know.  Please don’t let you out of those handcuffs, kick you out of my apartment, and never speak to your stupid ass again?  What, exactly, is it that you don’t want me to do?”

“Please, no, anything but that,” I backtracked realizing how stupid I was.

“Okay, so you want me to do anything I want to you: to hurt that little prick of yours in any way I see fit?”

“Yes,” I offered.

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, mistress.”

“That’s better.”  She once again mounted my face, which brought my softening prick back to life.  She took hold of it and placed the blunt end of the crochet needle at the opening of my piss slit.  She pressed her pelvis firmly to my face as she plunged the needle all the way in.  The pain was intense.  But, my scream was effectively muffled by her warm sex.  She then started with the pins, rubbing herself against my tongue.  I didn’t want to scream and wake her neighbors, so I grunted and moaned, instead, with each jab.  The ones that penetrated my glans were particularly painful, which I realized she was aware of since she pressed herself down to muffle my scream just before she pierced one into me.  I tried my best to ignore the pain, concentrating on stimulating her vulva and clit.  I was rewarded with several orgasms.  I lost track of how many.  I also lost track of how many pins were inserted into my miserable prick.

Eventually, when the last pin was inserted, she climbed off of me.  “That was fun!  I never thought I could get so much pleasure from a sissy’s little prick!”  Then she bent over and reached back into the box, pulling out a spool of yarn.  She also grabbed her used panties off of the floor.  “Open your mouth,” she ordered.  I did and she stuffed the panties inside and then proceeded to wrap the yarn around my head so that I couldn’t push the panties out with my tongue.

“Now, I know you have to be pretty exhausted, so I think you should just sleep here tonight.  Don’t worry; I’ll take the couch.  It’s very comfortable!  Now, don’t choke on my panties or anything.  I’d hate to wake up to find a dead sissy in my bed.  Well, it would probably turn me on, at first, but I don’t know how I’d explain it to the cops!  Oh, and if they looked into my internet browsing habits, I’m sure I’d get the death penalty!”  she laughed as she walked out of the room, flipping off the light and closing the door behind her.

I didn’t get much sleep.  The nonstop throbbing in my prick wouldn’t let me.  A few hours after the sun had risen, she came back in.  “Good morning?  Sleep well?  I did!”  She had a towel in her hand.  “Lift your butt up so I can put this towel under you.  I don’t want you bleeding all over my sheets when I pull out the pins.”  Then she removed the yarn and the panties from my mouth and climbed back up on my face.  “You know what to do.”  She slowly removed the pins as I lapped away at her pussy hoping to get some of her juices to quench my thirst.  Soon after she withdrew the last pin, I was rewarded with those juices.  She tried tugging on the crochet needle, but it wouldn’t budge.  “It’s stuck, I think.  Maybe you can push it out with your pee?”

She unlocked the cuffs and instructed me to hold the towel under my bleeding penis so that I didn’t get blood everywhere.  I went into the bathroom trying to pee and pull out the needle at the same time.  Eventually, it worked and my pee hit the tank of the toilet.  When I finished, I rushed to clean it up with the towel.  She came into the bathroom and handed me a maxi pad.  Here, this will keep you from getting blood all over your pants.”  She handed me the soaking wet panties that I had been sucking on all night.  “Oh, and these will hold the pad in place.”  I didn’t want to, but realizing my boxers wouldn’t do the trick, I put them on. 

She laughed at the way I looked with my balls jutting out from the sides of the crotch area, “See, now you look like a sissy!  On her period, even!”  She cracked up at that.

After that, I got dressed and we said our goodbyes.  As I was driving home, I realized that in one night she has had caused me more emotional and physical pain than any woman I had ever met before.  In a sense, she was the worst thing to ever happen to me.  But, deep down, I also realized that she was also the best and I couldn’t wait to see her again.

Chapter 2:

Her Bitch

Not wanting to seem too desperate, I ignored my desire to contact her.  Sunday, I received a text message from her with two links.  One took me to a small heart shaped padlock for sale, the other to pink silicone chastity tube.  Ten minutes later, she sent another message, “If your prick is healed enough to masturbate, don’t.  Buy these instead and select express delivery.  Put them on as soon as you get them.  Pick me up Friday at 8:00 at my place.  Bring the keys.  If you’ve cum at all since you left my place, then don’t bother.”

I wasn’t sure what she meant by, “don’t bother”.  Sure, I could lie my way out of it if I had to, but I couldn’t imagine lying to her.  So, I was really glad my prick was too sore to do anything with up until that point.  I certainly wasn’t going to disobey her wishes now. 

When I got to her place on Friday, she invited me in.  She wanted to see it.  She smiled when I showed her.  We went out to one of her favorite restaurants and then to a midnight matinee to watch a horror flick.  Somehow it didn’t surprise me that she preferred that movie genre.  Nothing sexual happened that night besides a kiss on the cheek when I took her home.  She didn’t invite me in.

We went out again the following Friday, again to dinner and a horror flick.  It was October and a new one was releasing weekly.  On the way back to her place, she mused, “You know.  I’ve been thinking a lot about your cock.  I want to be the first woman to ever feel it inside her.  Actually, I want to be the only woman to ever feel it, but that might be too much to ask.”

“Really, you actually want me inside you?” 

“Well, yeah.”

“How about tonight, then?”

“Okay, that might work.”

When we got to her place, she had me undress and lie on the bed.  She wanted me cuffed again, which I wasn’t sure was such a good idea, considering how it ended last time.  She freed my cock from it’s prison for the first time since I put it on.  Then she went into her closet again, which scared me.

She came out holding a box that said Clone A Willy.  “My last boyfriend bought this for me on my birthday.  That night, I caught him fucking around with my best friend at a party, so I ditched his ass and we never got a chance to use it.  Good thing.  He wasn’t man enough for me, anyway.  His dick was a little thinner than even YOURS and only like two inches longer.  Plus he didn’t have that whole curve thing going for him like you do.”

She read the directions out loud to me as she sat on my face, which was proven to stimulate my best erection.  After I ate her until she came, she released me and we went into the kitchen to make the mold.  She put me back into chastity and invited me to sleep with her in her bed.  That was nice.  I slept wonderfully and woke up with a huge smile on my face.

After she awoke, we went into the kitchen and put the materials in the mold.  Then she told me she had a busy day planned, but she’d try it out tomorrow after it set up.  Sunday, she sent me a message telling me it worked perfectly and she just came all over my cock.  I tried to get hard, but the silicone tube prevented it.

We did dinner and a movie again the following Friday.  Saturday was Halloween.  Again, it ended with a kiss on the cheek and no invite in.

Again, the next Friday I arrived at her place.  “I’d invite you in, but my place is a mess.  Things have been hectic at work, so I’m backed up on my laundry and I’ve got a sink full of dishes.  Plus, the bathroom needs cleaned.”

“Oh, I could help you with that, if you want,” I said, wanting to do something for her, but not fully realizing what I was getting myself into.

“Cool,” she said.  “I’ll let you sleep on my couch tonight if you clean my place tomorrow!”

I hadn’t envisioned sleeping on the couch as my reward, but it was better than going home alone so I said, “Sounds good.”

We went out to dinner, then she wanted to go to a dance club.  Once we got there, I barely saw her.  She spent most of the night dancing and flirting with this Black man who was about her height.  When the lights came on, she came up to me, holding his hand.  “Hey, Mike, this is Darnell.  He took a cab here.  I told him you wouldn’t mind giving him a ride.”

They climbed in the back seat of my car.  As I pulled away, I looked in the rear view mirror to see them kissing and petting each other.  “Where are we going?” I asked.

She spoke up, “Just drive like you’re headed to my place.  Darnell will tell you when to turn.”

So I did.  They continued their antics the whole way and as we were nearing her place, I thought I should ask, “We’re almost to your place.  Did I miss the turn?”

“Oh, shit,” Darnell said.  “Yeah, it was about ten miles back.”

I pulled into a gas station to turn around.  “No, don’t go back.  Just continue to my place.  Darnell can stay there tonight, if you don’t mind?” she turned to him.

“That’s cool with me,” he answered.

“Oh, but, Mike’s sleeping on my couch, so you’ll have to share my bed, if that’s okay.”

“Shit.  Even better.”  He kissed her.

When we got back to her place, she had me fix drinks for all of us.  They were sitting on the couch when I came back in the living room.  I handed them their drinks and she pointed to the floor beside her.  I sat there.

“You got him trained good,” he laughed.

“I’m working on it,” she responded.

They drank their drinks quickly and she led him into her bedroom, shutting the door behind them.  I finished mine, took off my shoes, and laid on the couch.  I tried to fall asleep, but the sounds of them fucking kept me awake.  As I listened and imagined watching, my prick strained against the chastity tube.  It became painful, so I tried my best to think of non-sexual things.  Eventually they finished and I drifted off. 

In the morning, I was the first to wake.  I started on the kitchen, cleaning the dishes, then making a pot of coffee and frying up some bacon and eggs.  I didn’t want to be presumptuous, so I only made enough for two.  I put the dishes, coffee, cream and sugar on a tray and knocked on her bedroom door.

“What?” she yelled as if I was disturbing them.

“I made breakfast,” I murmured.

“Oh, how thoughtful,” her voice changed.  “Come in, then.”  They were both lying there naked with no covers.

“Damn, girl, you got yo’-self a keeper here.  I wish I had a bitch that made breakfast in bed for not just me, but the bitches I bring home to fuck, too.  That’s some serious ass dedication, there.”

“Well, he’s MY bitch.  You gotta get your own,” she joked as I handed them their plates.

“What would you like in your coffee,” I asked, determined to make her proud.

“I’ll take mine strong and black,” she laughed with her left hand fondling his cock, which, even in its unaroused state, was bigger than the best I could give her.

“Well, shit then.  Make mine white and sweet as fuck, then,” he retorted.

I gave her a plain cup, then put in three teaspoons of sugar and topped his cup off with cream and handed it to him.

“Can I get you anything else,” I asked.

“Nope”

“Nah”

I left the room, shutting the door behind me.  I finished the dishes, cleaned off the counters, and swept and mopped the kitchen floor.  Then, I put a load of light clothes in the washer and started on the bathroom.  I realized they were fucking when I heard her moaning and yelling again.  I cleaned the bathroom, put the clothes in the dryer and put in a load of dark clothes.  Then I dusted and vacuumed the living room.  By then, the noises from the bedroom had ceased.  The door opened.  He came out fully dressed and she was in her bra and panties. 

“Hey,” she looked at me.  “I’ll finish my laundry and clean my bedroom.  Would you mind giving Darnell a ride on your way home?”

It actually wasn’t on my way, but, at this point, there was nothing I minded doing for her. “Sure,” I answered.

When we got in the car and started driving, Darnell spoke, “Damn.  That’s one fine piece of ass you got there.”

“I guess,” was all I could think to say.

“What da fuck you mean, you guess?  I ain’t talking ‘bout her fine ass body, neither.  That puss was nice and tight and milked my dick like… hell, you know what I’m saying.”

“I don’t.”

“Whadya mean, you ain’t never got you a piece of that shit?”

“No.”

“Well fuck, you’ve had puss before, right?”

“No.”  I wasn’t sure why I was answering these questions at all, let alone honestly.

“Well, shit, man.  I’ll tell ya’ what.  I’ve had lotsa puss and that right there is one fine piece a puss.  I don’t care if she calls you her bitch.  You need to man up and do everything you can to get you a piece of that.  Even if she still wanna fuck around on ya’, you need to be tapping that shit regular.  And if that’s your first piece of puss, ever, you a lucky man cause I ain’t never had none finer.”

“Okay, I’ll try.”

“Don’t try! Do, nigga.”

“Okay.  Thanks.  I will.”

“Good.  Your bitch be calling you HER bitch.  Damn, that’s fucked up, bro.  We can’t be having that shit right there.”

“I know.”  His words stuck with me.  As much as I enjoyed serving her and taking her abuse, I wanted her the way a man wants a woman.  I didn’t know how, but I was determined to get her. 

The next day, my phone rang.  It was her.

“Hey, listen, I was so proud of the way you behaved yesterday and I love the way my apartment looks.  I think we should do that regularly.  Every Friday, you stay at my place.  Some nights, I’ll bring a man home and you’ll sleep on the couch.  The other times you can eat me out and sleep in my bed with me.  Then, Saturday you can clean my apartment and run errands for me.  Sound like a plan?”

“Yes, I’d love that,” I tried to tamper my excitement.  “How the hell am I ever going to get her to see me as a man?”  I thought.

“Good.  And, I want you to know that for the past month, I’ve been going to that BDSM club every Saturday.  That’s why I never spend Saturday night with you.  Last night I was thinking how I’d like to tie you up, whip and paddle you until your back and ass were covered with welts and bruises like mine.  What do you think about that?”

“You know I’m a masochist.  I’d really enjoy that.”

“I’m sure you would.  I’m going to send you some links later on to stuff I want you to buy.  If I’m going to beating you, I need to have my own equipment.  Bring it with you on Friday and we can try it out Saturday night.”

I dug into my savings to purchase two different floggers, a signal whip, three different style paddles, and four different style canes as well as a bag to carry it all.

Friday night, I took her to the horse races for something different.  When we got back to her place, I ate her out and after she had come, she asked, “Do you want to see it?”

“See what,” I replied.

“Your dick.  Do you want to see it inside me?”

I nodded rapidly.  She retrieved it from her panty drawer.  Lying next to me on the bed, she asked, “Do you want to do it?”

“Yes, of course.”

She handed it to me and I rubbed the head against her clit.  When she started moaning, I slid it down and slowly slipped it inside her.  I stroked it in and out very slowly about twenty times, then I adjusted the pace.  I pushed it in quickly, withdrew slowly, and repeated.  Her body was bucking as she moaned in pleasure.  I continued this motion until she convulsed and erupted in a way I had never given her with my tongue.

“Oh, fuck,” she sighed, sitting up.  Pointing at the wet spot beneath her, she smiled, “See, what your cock did to me?  Aren’t you proud?”

I smiled, “I am.  I just…”

“You just… what?” she asked, expressing concern.

“I just wish it was my real cock.”

“What do you mean?  It was your real cock.  It’s not shaped like someone else, it’s shaped like YOU.  Oh, you mean…  Oh, no.  Please don’t ruin this.  We’ve got a good thing going here.  Please don’t forget your place and ruin it…”

“You’re right.  I’m sorry.  I really, really enjoyed that.  It was amazing to please you like that and I’m very proud it was with my REAL cock…” I smiled at her.  So much for ‘manning up’.  If that was, indeed, as close as I’d ever get to having my ‘real’ cock inside her, it was enough for me.  I wasn’t going to let some other dude’s opinion ruin it for me.

She smiled back.  “I’m glad you get it.  I don’t want to have to dump you.  I like you too much.”  She gave me a small kiss on the lips.  “Let’s get to sleep.”

I was the first to wake up.  I cleaned the kitchen, then made coffee, pancakes, and sausage, which I served her in bed.  I did the laundry and cleaned the rest of her house before going grocery shopping for her.

That night, she beat me good, but I took it like a man.  After our scene, she introduced me to a group of friends she had made.  There was Jennifer: a female sub who talked with Kim daily, Scott: Jennifer’s dominant husband, Trisha: another female sub who was bi and liked to top women, Greg: Trisha’s sadistic Black husband, Sylvia and Jaques; a dominant couple who were both bisexual switches, Natalia; a petite young submissive with a Russian accent, Hank; Natalia’s 6’6’ dominant boyfriend, and, of course, Eric, who we met before.  I learned that Eric was married and that his wife wasn’t into BDSM, but was aware of his extramarital activities. 

After we all got acquainted, Kim went off to get beat by Greg.  I watched the goings on in the middle of the room.  Of all the couples I saw playing, there was only one that was Femdom-malesub.  The thought hit me that the reason for that was because such an arrangement was inherently unnatural.  Perhaps, I thought, the only path to real happiness was to become the man I should have been all along.

The weeks went on like that.  We barely spoke Sunday through Friday.  I would text her good morning and good night every day, but she didn’t always respond.  Friday was date night and we caught up on how each of us was doing while we ate dinner.  If we went to the movies or some other activity, we’d go home and I’d eat her out.  She usually let me out of chastity, since she liked to hurt my genitals at the same time I was pleasing hers.  She did the pin thing on several occasions, but removed them and made me put on panties and a pad before we went to sleep.  I guess she didn’t want to sleep next to pinhead.  Sometimes she’d use a belt, a cane, the flogger, clothespins, or those metal folder clips instead to make me suffer.  After that, I’d usually be permitted to fuck her with the dildo molded from my cock, which always made my week.

On the Fridays when we went to the dance club, I always wound up on the couch.  I knew when she said that she wanted to go dancing that she meant she wanted to get fucked by a real cock and not my rubber one.  On those nights, I slept on the couch and always served breakfast in bed.  There were about eight different men she brought home.  Three of them were White, two were Hispanic, and three were Black.  I had to drive one of the White men and two of the Black men home.  One of them was Darnell.

On the ride home, he asked, “So, you fucked that shit, yet?”

Wanting to get him off my back, I answered, “Yes, I’ve put my cock in her many times and it’s amazing, just like you said.”

“Well, good for you, nigga.  I’m glad she still call you her bitch and fuck around on you, though,” he laughed.

The next time I took him home, the conversation wasn’t as pleasant.  “So, you lied to me, nigga.”

“I didn’t lie.  I said I put my cock inside her and I did.”

“Oh, okay.  So, you didn’t lie, exactly.  But you misrepresented the truth, which is the same shit.  Yo’ bitch told me what you meant by putting your dick inside her is that you put a dildo shaped like you in her while your real dick didn’t get shit.  Man, you is a bitch.”

I didn’t respond.

“You know what, nigga.  I’m glad you ain’t never got no puss.  I’m really glad Kim don’t give you no puss, cause puss like that be way too good for a bitch like you.  You two doing the right thing by keeping that puss reserved for niggas like me, be packing some real meat.  You oughta put a sign on that shit, Say RESERVED, Real Men Only, Bitch Ass White Boys KEEP OUT.”  Then he started laughing.

Tired of his mouth, I pulled the car over at a convenience store and said, “Here’s where you get out.”

“Fuck that shit, nigga.  You gonna take me home or I’ll pop you in the mouth like the bitch you is and then I’ll call up Kim and she dump your bitch ass.”

He was right.  I didn’t think she’d actually dump me.  But, I knew she’d be disappointed in me and I had done everything I could up to that point to avoid disappointing her.  I didn’t want to start now.  I continued driving towards Darnell’s place.

“That’s more like it, nigga.  Ain’t got to be getting all bitchy like you PMS-ing or some shit.  I was just trying to help you out.  Be a friend and all.  Get you to man up and shit.  Then you go lying to me like a bitch.  That’s some disrespectful shit there, nigga.”

That’s when I realized all the shit talking he was doing wasn’t meant to be mean spirited at all.  He was pissed that I lied to him.  Even though he was fucking my girl, he still had some kind of respect for me as a man and wanted me to have some self respect and take what should be mine.

“Fuck, you’re right, man.  I’m sorry.  I shouldn’t have lied to you.  It’s just that I tried and she shot me down, threatening to break it off if I continued trying to persuade her to sleep with me for real.”

“Well, shit.  So you embarrassed, then?”

“Yeah, I guess I am.”

“That’s one of your problems there, nigga.  This ‘I guess’ shit.  Bitches don’t like they men to be all wishy-washy and shit.  Yes or no.  That what get you respect.”

“Okay.  I’ll keep that in mind.  Anything else?”

“Yeah, if you truly want to win a bitches heart, you need to do something special.  I ain’t talking cleaning her house, cooking for her, and that other bitch shit you do.  You need to find some shit she really want; something no other man can give her, but you can.  It don’t matter if you can’t, yet.  Learn that shit, nigga.”

I pulled up in front of his building.  “Thanks, Darnell.  I appreciate your advice and I’m sorry I lied to you.  I won’t do that again.  Oh, and I’m glad I didn’t kick you out of the car,” I joked.

He laughed, “Yeah, cause ida popped you in the mouth, fer sure.  I still might, just for thinking ‘bout trying that bitch shit.  Good luck, nigga.”

Saturdays, I continued to clean her house and grocery shop, to be ‘her bitch’.  Saturday evenings, I’d usually make her dinner.  Once a month, Sylvia and Jaques would host a Maledom/femsub BDSM swinger party.  They were artsy crafty type people and made matching play collars and wristbands that had to be worn by all who attended.  Kim showed her collar to me one night.  Eric was the one who took her as ‘his’ sub, since I wasn’t permitted to attend.

But, on most Saturdays, we went to the BDSM club together, where she would have one of the other men in our small group work her over and then, still feeling the aches and the stings; she would do the same to me.  One Satuday, which coincidentally followed my discussion with Darnell, while she was being worked over a man came around and passed out fliers for a Shibari class he was holding every Wednesday evening. 

When she came back over, she picked up a flyer and asked, “Oh, Shibari.  I always wanted to try that.  Do any of you men know how to do that?”  They all shook their heads.  Darnell’s words echoed in my ears.  I would go every Wednesday.  I would practice.  I would ‘learn that shit’.  I would give her something she wanted that no other man could! The whole time she was beating me, that’s all I could think about.  She commented on how unusually happy I was after she had finished.

I went and I practiced, but I didn’t want to jump the gun and show her my newfound skill until the time was right.  I didn’t want to forget my place as she had put it so many months ago.  After six months of dating and being seen as a couple and a month of searching for the perfect one, I bought a diamond engagement ring.

That Friday, I took her to her favorite fancy restaurant and while the waiter was getting our appetizer, I took it out of my suit jacket and dropped to one knee.

“Get up,” she snapped.

“But…but.” She looked at me sternly and I got back in my chair.

“This isn’t the right place for that.  That might be okay for a normal couple, but we’re NOT a normal couple.  If you want to propose to me, do it tomorrow night in front of OUR people.  Okay?”

“Okay,” I was very disappointed after having planned this for a month.  But, if she wanted to do it in front of a BDSM crowd, I understood. 

The following night, after we had both been thoroughly marked, we walked over to the table.  She asked if I was ready.  I nodded and retrieved the box with the ring.  She affixed a play collar and a leash around my neck and led me to the middle of the room.  The others in our group followed.  It was Hank who stood in the middle of room and hollered, “Can I have everyone’s attention, please.  We have a special moment our friends would like to share with you.”

I dropped to me knees and opened the box, presenting the ring.  Nervously, I spoke, “Kim.  These past months with you have been the best months of my life.  We’ve laughed.  We’ve loved.  We’ve shared.  We’ve cried.  We’ve ached.  We’ve bled.”

The last two got an outburst from the crowd.

“I want to continue to do all this and more with you until the end of my days.  Kimberly, will you accept me as your loyal, submissive husband and make me the happiest slave on the face of this Earth?”

“Michael.  I’ve thought about this a great deal.  I knew this day would come and I know you’ll make a wonderful husband.  You’ll unselfishly attend to my needs in ways that other men would not.  I always expected to marry a dominant man, one who would bend me to his will or bend me over if that didn’t work.”

There was another outburst from the crowd.

“And if I never found such a man, I thought that I’d find one who I considered my equal.  Maybe we would switch dominant and submissive roles frequently so that we both got what we need.  I never pictured myself being with a submissive male, especially not one like you who’s never even been with a woman as a man.”

There was some gasping and some reserved laughter.

“What I’m trying to say is that the man I marry, whether he be dominant, switch, or submissive, he has to be a man I’m going to sleep with.  Sure, I expect him to be understanding of the fact that I am not and never want to be monogamous, but I still need him to be a real man, not a chastised celibate sexless virgin sissy cuckold slave, like you,” she finished as a tear dropped from her eye.

The crowd was shocked and many started laughing.  I just stared at her in disbelief. 

Jennifer came up behind her with my instructor from the Shibari class.  Tapping her on the shoulder, Jennifer said, “Kim, this is Nathan.  He teaches Shibari.  I told him about your interest earlier and he said he’d love to tie you up.  I thought that might help you take your mind off of what just happened.” 

I fixated on her ass as she walked away.  A voice in my head told me that would be the last time I ever saw it and I didn’t want to look away.  Still on my knees, I watched him begin to tie her.  That was supposed to me.  I was supposed to be the one tying her up and giving her what no other man could.  I couldn’t take anymore so I retrieved my clothes, placed my collar and leash in the bag and went out to my car.  I behind the wheel for a few minutes before I started crying.  The pain in my gut was unbearable.  I started the car up and drove home.

That night I contemplated suicide as I opened a fifth of whiskey and drank down the whole thing while watching porn on my computer.  I thought about taking a knife and cutting off my chastity device, but convinced myself that if I wasn’t man enough to be Kim’s husband, I wasn’t man enough to jack off like one.  So I roughly pinched my semi-flaccid prick with two fingers and my thumb through the silicone sleeve.  Once the bottle was empty, I crawled up in my bed and cried myself to sleep.

Chapter 3:

Manning Up

I woke up at three in the afternoon the next day to someone pounding on my door accompanied by a pounding in my head.  I went to answer it.  Looking through my peep hole, I saw her and turned away. 

She knocked again.  “Come on.  I know you’re in there.  If you don’t answer this door right now, I’ll leave and you’ll never see me again.”

At that moment, that’s exactly what I wanted.  I was broken.  But, I knew that if I let her walk away, in less than a week, I’d be begging her to talk to me again.  And when she wouldn’t, I’d definitely kill myself.  So I opened the door.  She came in, shut the door, and slapped me across the face.  I was too stunned to speak, but she had enough words for the both of us. 

“What the fuck was that?  Do you know how embarrassed I was that you just left me without a ride home?  I had to get a ride from Jennifer and her husband and he was being a dick about it!  Did you think about me for even a moment or were you too worried about your own feelings to give a damn?”

She smacked me again, “Speak.  Damn you.”

“I…I…I thought it was over.  I thought you were done with me.”

“I never said that!  I said I wanted a real man.  What I wanted was for you to defend yourself.  I wanted you to speak up about how you wanted to fuck me, how you would and could be a real man.  You know, that stuff you and Darnell talked about.  Don’t you think Darnell talked to me about it?  Don’t you realize I encouraged him to goad you, you dumb fuck?”

“So, wait.  You’re telling me that if I would have said that stuff, you’d have said yes?”

“Well, it’s too late for that, now, ain’t it?”

“No, it’s not too late.  We can still do this.  I can still prove to you I can be a real man.  I can protect you.  I can meet your needs.  Do you realize that for months, I’ve been taking Shibari classes so I can tie you up and dominate you?”

“Yes, I know.  Nathan told me all about it: how your one of his star pupils.”

“Well, then, give me another chance.  Let me tie you up, let me dominate you, whip you, and beat YOUR ass.”

She smiled.  “Okay.  It’s about fucking time.  Oh and if you ever ditch me and leave me without a ride home again, I’ll rip your fucking balls off.  Speaking of which, until next Saturday, you’re still MY slave, so spread your legs.”

I hesitated.

“I’m serious.  Spread them.  I’m still pissed at you and if you want me to get over it, you’ve got to let me have my revenge.”

I spread my legs.

“Wider.”

When I spread them as wide as I could, she took as step forward and kicked me as hard as she could.  I fell to my knees and the combination of the pain and the whiskey caused me to vomit.

“There.  Serves you right.  See you Friday.” 

Friday came and we went to dinner and the dance club.  She said she wanted to be wild and free for one more night just in case she decided to accept my proposal tomorrow.  I obliged, which was my nature.  At the club, she was dancing with this tall, skinny college boy most of the night.  When he left to go to the bathroom, I saw Darnell walk up to her.  He started grabbing on her tits and ass.  I saw her push him away and he went right back to feeling her up.  I walked over there.

“You’re drunk and being a jerk.  Get away from me, Darnell!” I heard her say.

“Come on, baby, just get on your knees and suck me off right quick, then I’ll let you get back to chasing that little ass college boy dick,” he said as he put her hand on her head and forcibly started pushing down.

I shoved him away.  “Get off her, man!  You’re being a drunk asshole.”

“Back off bitch before I pop you in the mouth.  This shit between me and my booty call, you keep yo’ bitch ass out of it.”

“Darnell, just back the fuck off before I have to do something we both regret.” 

Kim placed her hand on my shoulder, which caused me to look away for a moment.  When I did, I caught a right hook to my jaw.  The unexpected blow caused me to stagger backwards.  I caught myself on the table a few feet behind me.  Darnell laughed and continued molesting Kim.  I came at him as hard as I could, nailing him upside his head and sending him to the floor.  Just when I was about to pounce on him, a couple of bouncers grabbed me and drug me out of the door.  Kim followed them.  Once outside, one of them said, “If you don’t get in your car and get out of here, now, I’m gonna hafta call the 5-0 down here.”

“Come on, honey, let’s go,” Kim took my hand, seemingly elated.

When we got in the car and I started to drive home, Kim smiled, “That was amazing, baby!  I didn’t know you could fight like that!”

“I can fight,” I boasted, “If I have a valid reason to and there’s no reason more valid than the honor of the woman I love.”

She smiled and after a few moments whispered, “Yes.”

“Pardon me?”

“Yes, that’s what I’m going to say tomorrow night when you ask.  I’m going to say ‘YES’!”

It was my turn to be elated.  Words escaped me.

“I want you to fuck me, tonight.”

“REALLY?”

“Well, yes.  Oh, but not with your dick, not yet.  Let’s save that for when we’re man and wife.  Since you’ve been a virgin this long, I want your first time to be really special.  But, I bought a strap-on awhile back I was going to use on you, but I want you to use it on me instead.  I want you on top of me.  I want to feel the way you fuck.”

Although there’s something strangely submissive about fucking a woman with a strap-on when you have a perfectly good cock of your own aching to be inside her, I enjoyed the experience, immensely.  Thrusting on top of her and making her come through that motion really boosted my self-esteem.

Saturday, before we left for the BDSM club, I told her I wanted the chastity device removed and she complied.  Once we got there, I tied her up and beat her.  With her arms still firmly tied in a v behind her back and her welted breasts still compressed from the tie, I led her to the middle of the room and dropped down to one knee.  I presented the ring.

Then I heard a wave of hushing and whispering sweep through the crowd.  When the room had reached dead silence, I spoke, “Kim, will you be my bride?”

She smiled, nodding her head, “Yes”

I stood up, turned her around and slid the ring on her finger.  Then I turned her around and kissed her passionately.  The crowd applauded and some yelled, “Congratulations.”

Two week later, she moved into my house.  It was a split level with a porch on the higher right-hand side.  As you entered there was a large landing / entryway.  The living room was to the right.  The kitchen was down a small flight of three stairs.  There was a breakfast bar with four stools that greeted anyone who entered the kitchen.  That hallway lead to the basement stairs on the right, followed by the downstairs bathroom on the left.  There was another entrance to the living room on the right and the dining room was straight ahead.  The dining room had been built as an add-on.  The ceiling was nearly as high as the rest of the house.  A six foot crystal chandelier hung above a large elegant antique cherry table with ten chairs.  Because of the size, the previous residents had left them behind.

The basement was dry and contained the laundry facilities as well as plenty of room for storage.  The upstairs was two regular bedrooms, a master bedroom with a powder room, and a full bathroom.  As she didn’t plan on having kids right away or staying in this neighborhood when we did, she wanted me to renovate the upstairs.

For the next two months, in public, I was the Dom and she was the sub.  In private, we were just a normal couple, sharing the burden of the household chores.  During this time, she refrained from sleeping with other men.  Instead, I would fuck her regularly with the dildo molded from me.  She requested that I hold off actually penetrating her in any way until we were married.  I complied, since the wedding wasn’t far away.  Normally, after she got off, she would give me a hand job, which was very nice.  A month before the wedding, she asked if I would mind abstaining from orgasms until after the wedding.  She said she wanted my next orgasm to be inside her womb.  How could I refuse a request like that?

Two weeks before the wedding, Sylvia and Jacques were hosting another swinger party.  Kim explained to me that she had discussed our desires to be chaste until we were married to Sylvia.  Sylvia insisted that we come anyway, even if we weren’t going to ‘come’ while we were there. 

When we got there, Eric came up to me holding the wristband he had worn with Kim, “Kim likes the colors of the play collar we were using, plus she’s the one who paid for the set to start with.  She asked me if I’d be willing to part with my wristband.  So, I got to buy a new set for the slave I brought with me, which costs $50.  So, how about I sell you this wristband for $50?”

“That doesn’t seem like a good deal for me,” I argued, trying not to be seen as a complete pushover.  I wasn’t sure if he was serious or just hazing me.  “You really should just give it to me, since Kim paid for it.  But, I’ll feeling generous so I’ll give you $25 for the wristband, since it’s only half of the set.”

“Do you understand how this works?  Kim entered this party wearing a collar that matches my wristband which means until this party is over, she’s my property.  That means I can make her fuck and suck every man in this room, except you, and there’s nothing you can do about it.  If you even try to disrespect the party rules, you’ll get a beat down from everyone here before you get thrown out for good.  And if Kim tries to leave without my permission, she’ll get the same.”

Realizing he had me beat, I took $50 out of my wallet and handed it to him.

“On second thought, control of Kim is worth more than that.  That whore is worth at least $100.”

I shook my head and took out another $50, convinced I was going to punch him in the mouth just as soon as he handed me the wristband.

He laughed and patted me on the shoulder, “I’m just fucking with you man.”  For a brief moment, I felt ashamed for wanting to hit him.  Then, he looked at me dead serious and said, “I ain’t a pimp, but if I were, Kim would be my prized meat.  I can’t let that go for $100, either.  How about you just give me everything in your wallet, and I’ll let you have her at a substantial discount.”

I took all the bills out of my wallet, which amounted to five hundred and some change, and handed it to him.  He handed me the wristband and I clenched my fist and tightened my biceps preparing to strike.  Just then, Kim ran over to me, “Honey, you got it?  Awesome.  Thanks for letting him have it Eric.  I know how much it meant to you and you didn’t want to let it go.  I’ll always treasure the times I had with you while you were wearing it!”  She kissed him on the cheek.

When she turned around and kissed my lips, the jealousy on his face was priceless.  I’d have paid another $500 just to see it again.  “Let him have the money, I’ve got Kim,” I thought to myself.

Then, Jaques came up, welcomed me and instructed Kim to go into the kitchen with the other ladies.  Then he led me downstairs to the basement.  As you entered, the floor was tiled.  There was a circular bar in the middle of the playspace.  The play equipment consisted of a gynecological table, a sex swing, a set of stocks, three different style St. Andrew’s crosses, a few spanking benches, a suspension tripod, and some other equipment I’d never seen before.  There was a large custom corner style walk-in shower in one of the left hand corners and a matching glass enclosed toilet in the other.

The other men were gathered around the bar.  

“So, you’re new to all this, huh?” Scott was the first to speak to me.

“Yes,” I answered.

“I think you’ll find life is much better on this side of the whip,” Greg chuckled.

“I hope so”

“You know what goes on here?” Hank asked.

“Not exactly”

“Well, it’s pretty simple.  You got your wristband, so you have some idea, I assume.  But, the way it works is, if you want to do something with a girl, you don’t ask her, you find the man with a wristband that matches her collar and ask him.”

“Normally, it’s just the regulars,” chimed in Jaques.  “And we almost always say yes unless it’s one of our sub’s hard limits or it’s a man we don’t really know and he’s being a dick or something.”

“It usually works out nicely, though,” added Greg.  “Everyone of us has fucked every girl here… in all three of her holes.”

“That’s not true!”  Eric pointed out, “None of you have fucked my new girl, yet.  She’s still a virgin, for now.”

“And none of us want to fuck that fat slag, either,” mocked Scott, which got the other men laughing.

For some stupid reason, I felt sorry for my fiancé’s humiliated ex-Dom, so I tried to make nice, “Really, she’s a virgin?”

“Yep, just like you,” he coldly responded.  “At least, technically.  I’ve fucked her mouth and her ass, but told the pig she needs to lose fifty pounds if she ever wants to feel me in her unworthy cunt.”

“Damn, you cold,” Greg responded as the others laughed and patted Eric on the back.

“So, everyone of you has fucked every other girl here in each of her holes?” I asked hoping I had misunderstood.  “Even, Kim?”

“Yep… especially Kim,” Jacques replied, before excusing himself to go upstairs.

“Yeah, we’re glad you brought Kim around, Eric,” Scott added, “Her cunt is special.  Jennifer said she told her that she’s been doing Kegel exercises since she was in her teens.  Jennifer’s been trying, but, apparently, hasn’t mastered it yet.”

“Your wife’s cunt’s still nice, though,” Hank said.  “I actually enjoy a big cunt every now and then.”

“Eventually, you’ll experience all of their holes, too, man,” Greg looked at me.  “But, you’re the lucky one who gets to take Kim home with you.  Wait until you feel the head she gives.  I make Trisha watch every time Kim blows me, hoping she’ll pick up some of those techniques.”

“Don’t forget her ass,” Eric said taunting me.  “I know you enjoy looking at it and kissing it, but the way that tight little hole milks a cock makes you glad you’re a man.”

“Here, here,” Hank interjected, toasting his glass.

Jacques came back down and the girls soon followed, each holding a snack or an ice bucket filled with beverages.  They sat them down, then lined up beside the bar.  I had seen them all naked before, but never so close. 

Sylvia first caught my eye, with her long black hair, dark brown eyes, tanned Spanish complexion and little brown nipples.  She had a nice hourglass shape.  I pictured lying on the massage table and having her ride my cock as I fondled her tits which were nearly as big as Kim’s.

Then, I looked at Natalia, her brown hair, brown eyes, and her small gymnast frame.  I pictured standing up, her legs over my shoulders, rocking her back and forth on my cock as I kissed her fat lips.

Trish was a certified BBW, not fat, just really full.  Her tits were ample and her ass was the largest I’d ever seen.  I thought about fucking her doggy style, but realized I simply wasn’t long enough to get past her ass.  Oh, well.  Instead, I decided she’d look great on the sex swing and thought about fucking her there.

Then, there was Jennifer.  She was a fairly tall blonde, with no ass and even less tits.  Her face was pretty, though and her pussy looked huge.  She’d be the perfect one to bend over the spanking bench and fuck doggy-style.

Although I imagined fucking the others as was promised down the road, Kim was the only one I really cared about.  For her, it was missionary, eyes locked together.  I loved this woman and was so happy she was going to be my wife.

Then, Eric, announced, “I want to introduce you all to my new sub: Piggy.”  A chubby girl who couldn’t have been older than twenty came down the stairs holding a metal bucket full of beer.  I could tell it was heavy as she struggled to carry it, looking down.  When she lifted her head, everyone, besides me, started laughing.  She was wearing a pig nose and I noticed when she walked by that Eric had stuck a butt plug up her ass with a pig-tail on it.  This also made them laugh.  I felt bad for her.  She was cute and, heavy or not, could easily find a man to worship her instead of laugh at her, if she wanted.

Next, Jaques came around carrying a fistful of straws.  Looking at me, he explained, “We normally draw straws to see who gets to pick first.  Only rules are you can’t pick the cunt you own and you can’t pick the same cunt you had last month.  I’ll let you draw first, since you’re new.”

“But, I’m not participating, not yet,” I protested.

“Well, just because you and Kim aren’t having sex, tonight, doesn’t mean you can’t play.  There are other things we do here besides fuck.  Look at all our equipment!”

“Okay,” I said as I drew the straw that was sticking up a little higher.

The other men drew and Jaques was left with the last.  Then we compared. 

“Damn it,” I joked as it was revealed that mine was slightly shorter than Jaques.

Scott was first and picked Natalie.  Greg picked Sylvia.  Eric chose Trisha.  Hank picked Jennifer.  Then it was Jaques pick and he looked at me and said, “I really want to pick Kim, but I also want to get off, tonight.  What I’d like to do is strap her to the cross and whip her back and ass, then turn her around and whip her tits.  After that, since you don’t want her having ‘sex’ with anyone else before you two do it, how about I strap her to the massage table with her head hanging off.  Then, I can throat fuck her as I play with her bruised tits.”

I wanted to say, “No, she’s mine.  Hands off.  You take Piggy and do those things to her.”  But, I didn’t want to be seen to be a complete jerk.  It was his house and we came tonight knowing what goes on here.  While thinking of some other scenario that didn’t involve his cock inside her, I looked at Kim.  Having apparently heard what was said, her hands were up, open, and pressed together as if she was begging me to say yes, so I did.

After the other’s were done negotiating, Eric came up to me and patted me on the back, “You’re the lucky one who got Piggy.  So, what do you want to do with her?”

“Nothing,” I blurted out without thinking.  I saw by the tears in her eyes that she heard me and I felt like a complete asshole.

“Oh, nonsense,” Eric said.  “Don’t be shy.  You can do anything you want, I don’t mind.”

I shrugged.

“Hey fellows, the new guy’s having trouble deciding what to do.  How about we all write something down on a piece of paper that’ll be really fun and won’t spoil him for Kim?  Then, we fold them and put them in a jar.  He can draw one out and do the one that he picks.”

“Okay, but only if he agrees to do the one he picks, no matter what,” Hank said.

“I don’t know about that,” I protested.

“Oh, come on, be a sport,” Scott pleaded.

“Yeah, it’ll be fun,” Jaques added.

“Okay, but it can’t be anything disgusting.”

“Of course not,” Greg chimed in.  “Whatever we write down has to be BDSM related and involve a piece of equipment here.  Sound fair.”

The rest agreed and I relented.

It came time for me to draw.  I did, opened, and read, “Strap her on the gynecological table, pinch her nipples, finger her pussy, and lick her ass.  Then, finger her ass and lick her pussy until she cums.”  I shook my head.

“What’s the matter, man? You’ve licked pussy and ass before, right?” Scott asked.

“Well, yeah, but only Kim’s.”

“It’s the same thing, then,” Greg said, “She’s just fatter and not as pretty.  Probably tastes the same.”

“Quit stalling and do what you agreed to dude,” Hank added.

The others watched with fascination as I took Piggy’s hand and led her to the gyno table.  I could hear muffled talking and some laughter as I did what the card said.  She didn’t taste as good as Kim and her ass was way sweatier and smellier, but all in all, she didn’t taste bad and came pretty quick.

On the way home, Kim was quiet at first and then she spoke, “Why did you let them do that to you?  Humiliate you like that?  I was so embarrassed.”

“What, because I ate her out?”

“Yes, exactly!”

“What’s the big deal?”

“Did you see any of the other men licking pussy, let alone eating ass?”

“Well, no, but I’m sure they do.”

“No, they don’t, at least not there.  It’s Maledom slash femsub, that means the women serve the men, not the other way around.”

“Oh, I didn’t know.”  Now I was ashamed.

“It’s okay.  I should have told you.  But, I didn’t know Eric was going to try something like that to humiliate you in front of everyone.  I bet they got together beforehand and all decided to write the same thing.”

“That sucks.”

“You got to remember that you’re dealing with dominant sadists.  If you’re not one of them, they’re going to pick on you.  They’ll never accept you if you do that kind of stuff and humiliate yourself for their amusement.”

“Okay, I won’t do anything like that again.”

“I hope not.  Be wary of Eric, too.  I think he really has it out for you.  He’s said many times how I’m too good for you.”

“Maybe he’s right”, I couldn’t help thinking. 

Yet, over the next few weeks, we proceeded with planning the wedding in my large backyard.  As neither of us had anything to do with our families, the wedding would be pretty small. 

I never knew my family.  My birth mother put me up for adoption and the adoptive parents were dysfunctional and abusive.  I eventually ended up in several different foster homes until I was put into one on the poor side of town with an old woman who had six of us and was just in it for the money.  There were two Black boys, two Black girls, one Hispanic boy, and me.  They would all play games, including those of the ‘naked’ variety, but I was never permitted to join in.  Instead, I’d do their chores as well as mine.  The old woman would always tell me how ‘lucky’ I was that she took me in.

Kim’s mother was an alcoholic.  Her father left her when she was very young.  Kim had two siblings that were taken away by child protective services when she was fourteen.  Consequently, that’s also when her mother’s many boyfriends started taking notice of her.  Her mother died when she was seventeen.  Her father actually showed up at the funeral and took her to dinner afterwards.  At dinner, he propositioned Kim sexually.  After growing up around men who treated her like nothing more than a piece of meat, she wasn’t too surprised that her own father saw her the same way.  But, since she was in a pretty bad emotional state, she refused his advances and they never spoke again.

So, we were both broken and family-less, but that would all change on the next to last Saturday in August. 

Chapter 4:

Something Old, Something New,

Something Black, Something Blue

The wedding was relatively normal.  However, I did notice a glint in her eyes and a troubling wicked grin when I uttered the words, ‘Til death do us part’.  I wondered whether she still had designs for me or whether she was just reminded of the darker side of our shared fantasies.  Towards the end of the reception, Jennifer came up to us and handed me an envelope.  “Now, I know you were planning on honeymooning later, but we decided to go in together and get you a little surprise honeymoon.  It’s two nights at this romantic retreat upstate that my parents own.  The brochure and directions are in the envelope.  We’ll take care of the clean up and everything.  Why don’t you two lovebirds get going before it’s too late?”

It was a three-hour drive to the cabin.  I almost missed the driveway, which was marked by a small wooden sign that said Lover’s Cabin with the words private property no trespassing underneath.  The gravel road was fairly long and at the end was this small one floor log cabin with a porch.  The lights were on.  We walked up the stairs and she opened the door.  I told her to wait and I picked her up and carried her across the threshold.  Immediately inside was a room with a couch set up in front of a fireplace.  I could see a kitchen area beyond that, but I noticed the candlelight to the left, so still carrying her, I went that way.  The bed was covered in rose petals and there was a bottle of champagne on ice.  I laid her down on the bed, passionately kissing her lips.  As she pulled me in closer, I laid on top of her, kicking off my shoes as we continued to kiss.  I reached my hand up, cupping her breast and she pushed me away.

“Wait, I need to pee,” she interrupted, killing the mood for a moment.

I sat on the bed alone for what I figured must have been at least forty five minutes, as the clock was approaching midnight.  I went back to the bathroom to check on her.  She was sitting at the kitchen table, playing on her phone.

“Honey, what’s wrong?” I asked.

“Oh, nothing,” she replied.

“How come you didn’t come back to the bedroom?  Are you having second thoughts or something?”

“If I tell you the truth, do you promise you won’t get angry with me?”

“I’d never get angry with you.”

It appeared as though she rolled her eyes at me, “Well okay, then.  See, as you know, Jennifer is into that whole Paganism and Occult stuff.  She told me that if I have sex with you on the same day that we get married, then I have to be faithful to you or I’ll be forever cursed.  But, if I wait until the following day, then I can sleep with whomever I wish and the Goddesses will bless me for being prudent.”

“Seriously?  You believe all that?”

“Well, not exactly.  But, since she does and she’s the one who rented the cabin, I think it would be a bad omen for me to disrespect her beliefs.”

“Well, it’s almost midnight.  That’s the start of a new day, right?”

“As far as I know.  You’re really antsy to get inside me, huh?”

“Well, yeah…”

“Okay, I’m looking forward to it, too.  Just let me go pee again first and then I’ll meet you in there.”

I went back to the bedroom and waited for another fifteen minutes.  She showed up at the doorway with her veil on.  I stood up and took her hand, lead her to the bed, and guided her down.  When I did, she whispered, “Baby, you’re going to lick me first, before we know, go through with it.  I really want to feel your mouth down there…”

“Don’t worry, baby.  I got this,” I replied.  Then, I climbed on top of her again, lifted her veil and ran my tongue along her lips and the inside of her mouth.  Meanwhile, my hands were sliding down the straps of her dress, freeing her mounds of perfection.  I kissed her chin and then her neck and made my way down until I could suckle, flick, and tease her nipple with my tongue.  I gentle twisted and squeezed the other with my hand.  After awhile, I switched.  I continued this rotation until she was moaning pretty loud.  Then, I went down further, lifting her dress and sliding down her white lacey panties.  I ran my tongue along her vulva in a u shaped motion, intentionally getting close to, but missing her clit with every slow pass.  By the time I curled my tongue around her engorged clit, she was trembling with excitement.  It didn’t take long for my flicking motion to send her body into shivers and coat my chin with her sweet juices.  The orgasm must have been great as she moaned and screamed louder than she had ever done before.

Now, it was my turn.  I stood up, unzipped, and freed my pulsating cock from it’s cotton prison.  I climbed back on top of her, kissing her lips and whispering, “I love you,” before rubbing my head on her clit.  I almost couldn’t believe it.  It was finally going to happen.  I was finally going to lose my virginity and not just to anyone, but to the most wondrously perfect creature I had ever met.  And she was my wife!

Then, out of nowhere, there was a loud knock at the door.  It startled us both.  I froze hoping I had imagined it, hoping it would go away.  Then came another one.

“Are you going to answer that?”  she asked.

“Um, why don’t we just lie still for a few minutes?  I’m sure they’ll go away.”

“What if it’s an emergency or something?  What’s wrong with you?”

It was after midnight and we were at the end of a secluded road.  Something just didn’t feel right and, yes, I was scared, but I didn’t want to appear weak especially not now, now that I was so close to having her completely.  Instead, I played it off, “Oh, I didn’t think of that.  But, you’re right.  I’ll go check.”

I opened the door and all I saw was darkness.  I said hello.  There was no answer.  I stepped out onto the porch.  Again I said hello.  Again, no answer.  Then I walked down the stairs and looked around.  I couldn’t see anything or anyone.  I yelled, “Is someone there.”  I never saw the fist coming but I felt it hit me on my right cheek and then another on my left.  I tried to fight them off while yelling, “KIM, LOCK THE DOOR AND CALL THE POLICE!”

Instead, she came out on the porch and started yelling at my assailants, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?  THAT’S MY HUSBAND!  LEAVE HIM ALONE!

One of them climbed the stairs in the blink of an eye and struck her with his open hand, “Bitch, get yo’ ass back inside.”

Filled with blind range, I went after him.  That’s when I felt something hard hit the back of my head and I remembered falling face first towards the stairs before it all went blank.  The next thing I remember, I was waking up as a warm liquid was splashing across my face.  As I opened my eyes, I realized there was a black dick pointed at my face pissing on me.

“He’s waking up,” one of them mocked, “Piss in his eyes.”  I closed my eyes as the stream hit my eyelids before it came to a halt.

“Fuck man, I’m all out.  Bad enough I couldn’t piss in the white boy’s mouth cause of the duck tape, but then the motherfucker couldn’t even show me enough respect to keep his eyes open so I could piss in them.  Make me waste my piss and shit!”  Just then I felt a sharp punch to my jaw.  “Next time, keep yo’ eyes open, bitch.”

They all laughed.  I opened my eyes again and looked around.  I saw my wife tied to the bed, duct tape over her mouth, and a bruise on her cheek where that bastard had slapped her.  I tried to free myself from the restraints.  It was no use.  They had me duct taped to the chair and I couldn’t move anything besides my head.  I wanted so bad to be free.  I knew if I just had a chance, I’d find a way to gut all four of them.  Just then, I remembered seeing Eric put the box that contained the wedding cards in my trunk.  I looked up at the one standing closest to my wife who was now fondling her breast.  I stared and nodded my head as he looked at me.

“I think the white boy’s got something to say,” he quipped.  “Take his gag off for a minute.”

“If I take your gag off, yo’ better not scream or nuthin’ or I’ll break your fucking jaw, got it?”  the one who pissed on me asked.

I nodded.  As he ripped off my tape, I said, “I have money.  Just let us go and you can have it.  We won’t tell anyone.”  The tape was back in place as soon as I’d finished.

The one near my wife spoke up, “So this white boy think he can buy a nigga.  He think we just some broke ass niggas looking for a handout.  I already got your money, dumbass!  We found that shit while you was taking a nap.  We was going to take it anyway, but I’m glad you a generous white boy and said we could have it.  Oh and don’t worry, we gonna let you go.  Just as soon as we finished.”

“That’s right, tell him, King,” the one on the other side of the bed spoke up.  “We didn’t come all the way out here to take yo’ money, white boy.  We came out here to take your white bitch!”

I could see the fear in Kim’s eyes and I tried to break free again.  Fuck, the restraints were tight! 

King looked at her and asked, “Now, honey, if I take off yo’ gag, you promise not to say anything stupid?”

She nodded.

He asked her, “So, tell me, bitch, were you really going to let this sorry ass little white boy tap yo’ ass tonight?”

As he pulled the tape away, she nervously answered, “Yes.”

“Now why would you go and do some crazy ass shit like that?”

“I don’t know.”

He slapped her unblemished cheek.  “Cause you a worthless ass slut whore, right?”  He then pinched her left nipple.  “Say it, bitch.”

“Cause I’m a worthless slut whore,” she whimpered.

“That’s right bitch.  Yo, Lake, pull down that other white bitches draws, would ya?”

The one who had pissed in my face pulled out a knife and began to cut my tuxedo pants, nicking me a couple times.  He ripped them away and then cut off my boxers, which, fortunately weren’t as tightly pressed against my body.

When Lake ripped my boxers away, King spoke, “Shit, bitch, you was gonna let him put THAT in yo’ cunt?”

As she hesitated, again he pinched her nipple, “Yes,” she stammered.

“You fuck that little thing before, bitch?”

“No, he’s a virgin,” she offered.

“No shit.  Hey, Clip, that white boy look like he gotta a nipple between his legs.  Shit, I think his bitch’s nipples actually bigger.  Why don’t you pinch it like I pinched her nipple?”

“I ain’t touching that shit,” the other masked man in the room answered.

“What, worried about getting a little dick juice on your gloves like it gonna turn you faggot or something.  Fuck.  I’ll do it.  I know I can’t be turned fag,” King said.  As he walked towards me, he continued talking, “Okay, bitch.  After tonight, you ain’t gonna ever be wanting to fuck that little thing.  So, little bitch boy’s just gonna hafta stay a virgin, right?”

He grabbed the head of my dick, which was deflated and trying to hide, “Answer me, bitch, or I’ll rip the fucking thing off.”

“Yes,” she complied.

“Yes, what, bitch?”

“Yes, he’s going to stay a virgin.”

“And, why’s that, bitch?”

“Cause I’ll never fuck him!”

“That’s what I want to hear.”  He continued to squeeze as I again tried to break free.  “Now, bitch, me and my boys are going take yo’ pussy tonight whether you want us to or not.  But, just like yo’ bitch ass hubby offering us the money we was gonna take anyway, you should be a good white bitch and offer us yo’ pussy.”

“You can have my pussy, if you want.”

He squeezed harder, “Gotta do better than that, bitch.  I want you to beg me to fuck you with my big black dick right in front of your husband on your wedding night!”

I heard her cry in anguish, so I assumed Lake or one of the others was squeezing her nipples.  “Please, King.  Please fuck me right in front of my wimp husband on my wedding night with your big black cock!”

“Shit, you even learned my name.  Since you asked so nicely, I’d be happy to fuck you.”  With that he let go of me, whipped out his dick and mounted my wife.  Reaching his hand down between her legs, he noted, “Damn, this bitch be wet as fuck!  I think she enjoying this shit.” 

Then, he slipped his dick halfway in and she moaned.  He pushed further and she yelled, “Yes.” And, so it went as he fucked her for what seemed like an hour all the while she was moaning and uttering her approval.  Then, Mav had his turn.  Then, Clip.

“Untie the bitch,” Lake said.  “I want to do some freaky shit on my turn.  Walk over to your hubby and bend over with your hands on his thighs.”

She complied, walking in a labored manner I had never seen her do before.  He walked up behind her and without saying a word, slipped his cock all the way inside her already battered pussy.  “Any of y’all gotta piss?” he asked.

“I do,” answered Clip.

“Yeah, kinda,” answered Mav.

“Cool.  Point you dicks at the white boys eyes.  Bitch, I want you to hold his eyes open while they piss.”

She didn’t move.  He began slapping her ass.  After about ten hard swings to each cheek, she mouthed sorry to me and lifted her hands to my eyes, prying them open.  The streams started, burning my eyes and causing me to jerk my head back.  She didn’t break contact and the men quickly found their respective targets again.  After they had finished, I was reeling in pain and momentarily blinded.

Lake spoke, “Damn, that was hot.  Now, I’m gonna put my dick in yo’ ass, so brace yo-self.”  She let out a small scream followed by a few gasps.  I couldn’t imagine him being gentle.  “Yo’ like that shit, bitch?  Nigga dick in yo’ ass?”

“Yes, I love it,” she moaned.

“Good, then you ‘bout to do exactly what I say.  Kiss my fist,” he ordered as he placed his right fist in front of her mouth.  She complied.  “That’s a good bitch,” he said as he took that same fist and slammed it as hard as he could into my right eye socket.  She gasped.  He laughed before placing his left fist in front of her face, “Now the other one.”

I don’t know how long she hesitated, but it wasn’t very long as he did the same to my left eye before I could regain my composure.

“Ya’ see, yo’ pussy is all beat up and ruined and I don’t want yo’ hubby feeling left out.  Afta all, it’s his wedding night, too.  So, I think we oughta beat up and ruin his face!”  The other men got a good laugh at this. 

Then, Kim spoke while he continued fucking her, “Oh fuck.  Oh yeah.  This is so fucking hot.  Please.  Please don’t stop…”

“What’s that, bitch?  You want me to punch your hubby again right in his eyes?  I might blind the fucker!”

“No, um, yes, I want you to punch him some more, but I don’t want him to go blind.  Can I, um, stroke his little dick while you punch him, though?  Like you said, it’s his wedding night, too and I want him to enjoy this as much as I am.”

“A right bitch, I’ll tell you wat’, you stroke that little dick.  If the fucker can keep it limp, we wone punch ‘im no mo.  But, if he get hard, we destroy his face.”

Kim cupped my balls with her left hand, fondling and lightly squeezing enough to give me a slightly painful sensation in each.  Despite my best efforts to think of non-sexual things, I began to stiffen.  Then, as his thrusting in and out of her ass caused the push of her palm and wrist on the underside of my shaft, my fullness sealed my fate.  “He’s hard!” she joyously exclaimed.

“Good.  That mean he want it.  So, why dontcha kiss King’s fist and he can break hubby’s cheek bones?”  Right.  Kiss.  Punch.  Left. Kiss. Punch.  She took hold of my prick and began stroking while rubbing her thumb against my frenulum.  She repeated the punching and kissing two more times on each of my cheek bones.  I could feel them begin to swell but the pain seemed distant.

“Okay, now Mav, why dontcha break his nose, get it all squiggly and shit.”  He laughed.  Still stroking me, she kissed his fists and he complied. 

“Now, Clip, how about you knock his teeth out.” 

Two punches came and then I heard her say, “Oh, fuck yeah, do it again.  Harder this time.”

“Damn, freaky bitch.  Okay.  You know the rules.  Kiss my fist,” one of them said moments before I was struck again.

“Yes.  Oh my god!  This is awesome.  Fuck me.  Punch him again and again.  Please, boys… keep doing it while he fucks my ass.  Oh…oh yeah…that feels so good…”

I kept hearing her kiss their hands and feeling them punch me again and again as she quickened the pace of her stroking.  I began to wonder how on Earth I could stay hard despite the tremendous pain I was in, but it didn’t bother me as bad as it should have.  Somehow, I felt like I was high and my entire focus was on how good her soft hand felt and how badly I needed to come.  I was nearing the edge of no return, myself, when the final punch came and I began to drift off.  Just before I did, I heard her voice start to crack and the tell-tale noises she made when she was experiencing a glorious orgasm.

The next time I awoke, I was tied to a bed in a large well-lit room with a bed to my left and another to my right.  I couldn’t move my mouth and my neck was being held fairly stiff by a pillow like device.  I noticed an IV stand with two tubes leading to my neck area.  After some time, a nurse came in.  “Oh, you’re awake.  I’ll notify the doctor.”

An eternity passed.  I heard nurses come and go, patients yelling and crying, and then, finally, the doctor came in.  I was still pretty woozy, but I froze in fear when the large black man approached my bed.  I didn’t know who he was or where I recognized him from, but I knew enough to be afraid.  In fact, at the time, the last thing I could remember was kissing my wife at the altar.  The rest was just bits and pieces, mostly all a blur.

“You look nervous, sir.  Do I frighten you?  It’s okay if I do.  Some patients are intimidated by my large stature.  And, I’m well aware that there aren’t too many individuals with my complexion around these parts.”

I shook my head slightly back and forth.

“You don’t recognize me from anywhere, do you?”

Again I shook my head.

“Well, that’s good.  That’s very good.  It looks like you’re going to make it sir.  You suffered severe fractures to all of your facial structures, particularly your jaw.  We had to extract all of your teeth, reset your jaw, and wire it shut while it heals.  We did the best we could with your cheek and brow bones, but since we don’t have a licensed plastic surgeon at this hospital, our attempts at facial reconstruction were limited to that which was medically necessary.  Besides, when your wife informed us that you didn’t have insurance, we had to move you to our special recovery wing.  This wing is entirely funded by wealthy benefactors in our community.  Many folks out here don’t have insurance, particularly the farm hands and the hired help.  This wing allows us to treat those individuals in a compassionate, yet, cost effective way.  This way, the uninsured don’t bankrupt the hospital and, since we realize our patients are typically too poor to pay, there is no cost passed onto the patient.  Now, your wife already signed all of the necessary documentation and waivers for us to treat you, but when a patient is revived, I like to receive confirmation from the patient directly before continuing treatment.  Just nod your head if you would like us to continue treating you, otherwise we can release you if that’s what you wish.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.  I had insurance!  Maybe we never discussed it, but why would she tell them I didn’t?  None of it made sense.  But, I still figured I needed to be there otherwise they would have already released me, so I nodded.

“Good.  Now, just so you know, we’ve had you in a drug induced catatonic state for four weeks now, which means your bones are well on their way to being healed.  Another two weeks should do it.  Then, we can remove the wires.  In a few days, we will begin reacquainting you with your legs.  Then, we will remove the catheter and colostomy bag so you can use the restroom instead.  Now, since I’m the only doctor in this wing, you probably won’t be seeing me again until it’s time to remove your wires.  In the meantime, please follow the nurses directions and try not to bother them.  Thanks.”

With that, he walked away.  I just laid there, listening to the other patients and sleeping as much as possible.  The next day, I got a sponge bath from a large lady with rough, calloused hands.  She didn’t even say a word to me, and, yet, it was the highlight of my day. 

The following day, a sheriff’s deputy came to visit me, “Hello, sir.  We just have a few questions to ask you.  You can just nod or shake your head.  Nod if you understand?”

I did.

“Now, do you remember anything about the assault that occurred on the night of your wedding?”

I shook my head.  I didn’t.  Not yet.

“Your wife says a group of eight or ten white males savagely beat you and raped her.  Does this spark your memory at all?”

That’s when I started to remember.  I remember there were four of them and they were black and then all of a sudden I got a sharp pain in my gut.  Was she in on this all along?  Did she plan it?  Was I actually supposed to die from this beating?  Is that what she wanted?  Thoughts raced through my head and I didn’t want to believe it, I couldn’t believe it.  I started violently shaking my head.

“Oh, I’m sorry to upset you sir.  It’s okay if you don’t remember.  It’s just that we’re doing everything we can but haven’t turned up any leads.  I’ll leave my card on the stand.  If you remember anything when you can talk.”

I just looked at him, half wanting to shout out that she had lied, that she was in on it.  But I couldn’t and probably wouldn’t even if I could.  I loved her no matter what she did to me or wanted done to me, and that, too, could never change even if I wanted it to.

A couple days later, it came time to walk, which was difficult at first, but with persistence, my leg muscles regained their strength. 

Then, it finally came time to have my wires removed.  Looking into the doctor’s eyes, I knew it was HIM, the one they had called “Lake”.  There was no way I could ever prove it and nothing good could come from telling him I recognized him, but I got comfort from knowing that, when the time came for revenge, I knew exactly where to find him.

Chapter 5:

Reality Hits Home

The day of my release, Eric showed up to pick me up.  I was surprised to see him.  I was also surprised my wife hadn’t come, not today, not once to visit me.  Eric spoke, “Hey, man.  How are you doing?  Your wife had to work, but I told her not to worry, I’d come get you.”

“Thanks, man.  I really appreciate this.  It’s been a rough patch here lately and it’s good to have a friend like you.”  I responded, knowing full well that we weren’t really friends, but appreciating him making this drive, nevertheless.  I didn’t know why he was doing it and the mostly silent car ride back didn’t offer any details.

When, we got home, I invited Eric in.  I opened the door and yelled, “Honey, we’re home.”

“I’m in the kitchen,” she hollered.

As I walked in the kitchen, she looked at me and dropped the spoon she was holding, staring at me in shock.

“What?”  I asked.

She shook her head and turned away.

“What!?  If you have something to say, just say it.  Is it my face?”

“Yes, okay!  Yes…It’s just so, so…”

“So, what, baby?”

“So Ugly!  There, you made me say it.  Are you happy now?”

Now, I was the one in shock.  I just realized I hadn’t even looked at my face since it happened.  I looked at Eric with an inquisitive look on my face.  Raising the one side of his mouth, he shook his head.  I rushed to the bathroom.  She was right.  I was.  My brow and cheeks were sunken, my jaw was crooked and my nose bent two different ways.  And if all that wasn’t bad enough, I had no teeth.  I walked back into the kitchen.  Kim and Eric were sitting at the table, each with a steak, broccoli, and a baked potato.  A third place was set with just a large bowl of soup.

She looked up at me and smiled, “I’m sorry I said that.”

“Don’t be, it’s true.”

“Yeah, but I shouldn’t have said that.  I was just surprised, that’s all.  I know what you went through.  It’s not your fault and I’m not going to hold it against you.  I made you some soup.”

“That was sweet of you.  Thank you, baby.”

I joined them at the table.  Sure, I’d have much rather had steak, broccoli, and potatoes, but that requires chewing, which is something I could no longer do.

After dinner, we went into the living room.  Kim sat on the right hand couch cushion, so I sat on the middle one next to her.

“Honey, I know we have a lot to talk about, but I need to thank Eric for driving all the way out there to get you.  I had to work and besides, I don’t think I could have handled it.  Could you slide down so Eric can sit next to me?”

I was slightly offended, but I complied.  I was sure he would be leaving momentarily after she said her thanks.  I was surprised when she followed that two-word phrase with a kiss on the lips.  Then, she stood and slid off her dress, revealing her lacey red bra and panties.  I shivered at how amazing she looked.  I had almost forgotten.  She fell to her knees and tugged on his pants.  He lifted his ass off of the seat and she pulled his pants down.  His semi-hard cock popped out just a foot away from me.  She took it into her mouth, licking and kissing it.  When he reached full mast, she started slowly sliding her head up and down in a sexy twisting motion.  I could only imagine how amazing that had to feel and the thought occurred to me that I should be the one feeling it.  I was her fucking husband!  I just went through six weeks of hell and here was this man who was just a friend being rewarded so handsomely for a mere six hours! 

But I regained my senses.  After all, it was me who he gave up six hours of his day for.  The least I could do was let him experience the pleasure my wife’s mouth offered before I do.  Come to think of it, he already had, along with her pussy and ass.  Oh, well.  It would be my turn soon.  It was a good fifteen minutes before Eric succumbed to her relentless pursuit and moaned as she vacuum-sealed her lips around the head of his cock.  Keeping her upper lip in place, she slid her tongue out and traced it up the vein of his cock to milk out the last drops of his cum.  Then I saw and heard her swallow.  She opened her mouth wide to show him that it was all gone.  As she held her mouth open, he moved his own close to hers and dribbled a large glob of spit right into her open mouth.  I clenched my fist.  I was getting ready to drill him before I saw her swallow it, smile and whisper “Thank you” to him. 

He stood up, pulled up his pants and said, “Fuck, that was amazing.  Thanks, Kim.  You’re the best.”  Then he patted me on the head, “Take care man,” as he headed to the door.

“Yeah, man, you too.  And thanks for coming to get me.  That was really cool of you.”

“Anytime, as long as I get to make use of Kim’s mouth,” he laughed as he walked out the door.

She climbed up on the couch next to me, “So what’d ya’ think?”

“About what?”

“About your first time being a married cuckold, your wife blowing another man right in front of you on your own couch then greedily swallowing all his thick cum?”

“It was okay, I guess.  I’d rather it have been me, though?”

“Oh, you wanted to suck his cock?” she laughed tauntingly.

I shook my head and refused to respond.

“I’m just messing with you.  I know you aren’t into that.  But, seriously?  You, seriously expect me to believe you, of all people, would rather be the bull than the cuck?”

“Of course, I’d love to know what that feels like!”

“Well, yeah.  You’d like to know.  But wanting to know and actually knowing are two very different things.  You aren’t the kind of male that’s supposed to actually know what those types of sensations feel like.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?  What kind of male am I?”

“You know the answer to that.  You’re a cuckold… and not just any ordinary old cuckold;  you’re a sexless sissy cuckold.  As such, you’ll never feel what it’s like to have your cock sucked, not by me, not by anyone else.”

“But, I already did feel it.  The night we first met, you sucked my co…”

Kim interrupted me, “Whoa, whoa, whoa.  Hold up there.  I did NOT suck your cock.  I would never.  Sucking involves moving my mouth up and down to stroke a man’s cock, give him pleasure, and either make him come or get him hard enough to fuck me.  That was NOT why I licked your limp little dick.  I was simply trying to trick you into letting me tie you up so that I could put you in a world of pain.  And, knowing what I know now about how easy it is to control you, I wouldn’t have even done that.  But, at the time, I enjoyed giving you a little taste of what you’d never have.”

“But, but…it wasn’t supposed to be that way.  We were supposed to have a pretty ordinary sex life.  You were just going to be allowed to have sex on the side as well.”

“I know what was said before we got married.  But all that changed on the night we got married.  Do you remember what happened that night?”

“Of course, how could I forget?”

“I’m not talking about everything.  Just that one part, right before King and his friends gave me the best fuck of my life, when he demanded that I say I’d never have sex with you and you’d always be a virgin?”

“I remember.  But, that doesn’t matter.  Nothing from that night matters.  You were in fear for your life.  You were forced to say those things.”

“But, that’s just it.  I wasn’t forced.  I WANTED to say those things.  I got wet saying those things.  I meant them then and I mean them now.  It’s all I’ve been thinking about while you’ve been away.  I DON’T want you having sex, not with anyone, not ever.  Not even a blowjob or a handjob or anything else that might feel good.  I need to see you suffer and I need to be the cause of that suffering.”

I gulped.   My face reddened and I sat there silent.

“Listen, I know I’d gave you the hope of a different kind of life, but that isn’t going to happen now.  If you want out, if you want a divorce, I understand.  I won’t have any hard feelings.  In fact, I think you probably should.  Life as my cuckold husband isn’t going to be easy.  It’ll be rough, brutal, and very bad for your physical, mental, and emotional health.”

I slunk to my knees in front of her.  Looking up, I pleaded, “I love you.  I love you more than anything.  I honestly and truly love you more than life itself.  Being with you, even as just a celibate cuckold and an obedient servant, promises to be far more rewarding life than anything I could have ever imagined.  I want to take this journey with you: to be with you until the end of my days even if that means dying a virgin.”

“Well, good.  I’m glad you feel that way.  I made a pretty big mistake trying to push and mold you into being a switch.  I know, you tried, but when you were dominating me at the club, it didn’t feel right.  It felt fake.  I think it’s cause you aren’t really dom.  Dominating a woman isn’t what gets you turned on.  You’re a sub and you were topping me as a sub.  The whole time you were trying to please me instead of making me please you.  I ignored those feelings, hoping you would get better at it, but you didn’t.  You really showed me your true colors when you licked Piggy’s asshole in front of everyone.  I thought about calling off the wedding, but I still wanted to marry you for some reason.”

“You’re right.  I’m sorry I couldn’t be that dominant type ‘real man’ you wanted me to become.  I’m very happy you married me, anyway, though.” 

“That’s okay, baby.  Your whole life, there’s been this pattern: from the girls who you rejected you, or passed you over for your friends, or just made fun of you; to the girlfriends who flirted with other boys right in front of you and cheated on you behind your back.  All of that served a purpose.  It was as if some natural or supernatural force was molding you and pushing you into what you were always meant to be: a loyal virgin cuckold slave for a slutty submissive sadistic woman, like me.  I can always find real men to dominate me and fuck me like I need to be fucked.  There are SO many of them.  But, a sissy who is truly willing to give up everything he has for my pleasure, amusement, and well being? Now, that’s something special and rare.”

Hearing her reaffirm the negative few of myself and my obvious undesirability that I fully accepted up until I met her was difficult, but oddly comforting due to the way she put it.  Yet, there was something that still troubled me, “Kim,” I asked softly, “Why do you call me a sissy?”

“Well, cause you are a sissy.”

“But, I’m not.  I’m not at all girly.  I don’t wear women’s clothes or suck cock.”

“Honey, there are different kinds of sissies, just like there are different kinds of men.  Men fuck, sissies get fucked.”

“But, I don’t!  I don’t want to get fucked!  I’m not gay, Kim.”

“Michael, do NOT ever interrupt me again.  I’m trying to explain this stuff to you, so shut up and listen.  Men fuck.  There are different kinds of men.  There are dominate alpha men who take what they want, fuck all the hottest girls, and live the most fulfilling lives.  Then there are submissive beta men who beg for the scraps alpha men leave behind: the women they’ve ruined or the ones they don’t want to fuck.  And last there are omega men.  Those are the ones sitting at home jerking off dreaming about fucking women most of the time, but occasionally getting a pity fuck.  Some fuck all the time, some fuck some of the time, and some rarely fuck.  But, they’re all MEN.  They all fuck.”

She took a sip of the drink I had prepared for her as I sat there afraid to say a word.

“Then there are sissies, like you.  Sissies get fucked.  Just like men, there are three different types.  Omegas sit at home dreaming about getting fucked literally by men or by women with strap-ons.  Or they dream about getting fucked figuratively.  Fucked over, humiliated, used, degraded, and cuckolded.  Then there are the betas.  Those are the ones actually getting fucked or fucked over.  That’s what you are, now, honey.  I may not fuck your ass or your dick, but I’m going to fuck up your mind and your body.”

She stared at me.  “I love you, Kim,” was all I could think to say, as a question popped in my mind.  “Are there alpha sissies, too?”

“Why, yes there are.  Those are the males who prefer getting fucked, like gay bottoms, but aren’t weak emotionally, like you.  They like what they like and are proud of it.  They don’t usually get fucked over.”

There was silence for about a minute.  I started thinking about my face and what had happened on our wedding night.  “Honey, can I ask you some…” I paused, not sure if I should continue.

“What? What is it?”

“It’s nothing.”

“Tell me, damn it!”

“Okay.  Well, it’s just that something’s been bothering me.  Why did you tell the police that a group of white men attacked us?  Did you know it was going to happen?  Were you in it?”

“Oh my god!  I can’t believe you would ask me such a thing!  That you would blame ME because you weren’t man enough to protect me, to keep me from getting raped on our wedding night!  If you would have fought those men off like a real man would have, then our marriage might be a lot different.  You only have yourself to blame for how this turned out!  Blame me?  How dare you?”

“I’m sorry, baby.  I shouldn’t have thought that way.  You’re right.  It’s my fault.  I should have protected you.  But, I still don’t know why you would tell the police that it was a group of white men and not come to visit me.”

“Well, actually…  the truth is I do feel partially to blame.  After all, I got off on them dominating me and torturing you.  I got off on them beating your face while I was getting ass fucked.  I even urged them to continue.  And, yes, I lied to the police.  I didn’t want them to get caught.  I didn’t want anything bad to happen to them.  What they did and your inability to stop them reminded me why I was interested in you in the first place.  Somehow, I had allowed your good looks and gentle nature to confuse me into thinking I loved you, when, in truth, it was my disdain for sissies that lured me to you.”

“Wait, so you hate me?”

“I didn’t say hate.  It’s just not love.  How could it be?  I enjoy hurting you and want to do unimaginable things to you.  That’s not love.  But, I still feel something for you.  I enjoy having you around.  I enjoy your company.  I think disdain is a good word for it or maybe contempt?”

“Okay, I guess that’s good?”

“It is for what we have.  Oh, and you know, I may have actually caused all this to happen.  I didn’t really plan it, but a couple weeks before our wedding, Jennifer asked me if I was looking forward to having sex with you.  I told her I was nervous about it because I didn’t think you’d be very good at it and I was worried that it might ruin the deeper darker connection we made in the first place.  Then, I told her about a fantasy I was having that involved me getting gang raped in my wedding dress while my rapists beat you to death.”

My eyes widened with disbelief.

“Right after I got home, she stopped by to drop off the money and gifts and I came right out and asked her if she had anything to do with planning what happened, if it had been a BDSM scene she set up to make my fantasy come true.  She denied it outright then.  But, I’m not sure she was telling the truth.  We weren’t certain you were going to make it at that point, so she may have just been afraid of the consequences if you didn’t.”

“Wait, what money?”

“Oh, that’s right.  You don’t know.  You remember the box you saw Eric putting in the trunk?  It was empty.  Jennifer actually took all the stuff with her, so those Black men weren’t actually there to rob us!  Another reason I think Jennifer probably set the whole thing up.”

“Did you want me to die?  What would you have done if I did?”

“Oh, no.  Not really.  It was a fantasy, that’s all.  I’d be disappointed if you’d have died.  There’s a lot more I want to do to you before you leave me!  But, that’s another reason you should get away from me while you still can.  I can’t help it.  I have these fantasies about your destruction and, ultimately, your demise.  It isn’t right.  You shouldn’t be with me.”

“Quit being silly.  I’m not going anywhere.  How often do you have these fantasies?  When was the last time?  What was it about?”

“You don’t want to know.”

“Yes, I do.”

“Okay, but, this fantasy gets me really hot.  So, since you’re already down there, how about you lick my pussy while I tell you?”

I reached up to slide down her panties and she slid down to where her pussy was just off the couch to give my tongue full access.  I began to lick in my trademark u shaped motion that she loves.

“Oh, yeah.  Okay.  So, this was when you were in the hospital  The last time was a couple days ago.  There’s a knock at the door.  I answer it.  It’s King, Lake, Clip, and Mav.  Lake says that they need to talk to me.  Once inside he explains that the whole time you were in the hospital, he’s been whispering in your ear and taunting you about what they had done and what they were going to do to your wife once you’re gone.  This gets you in an unruly state and eventually they have to confine you to an isolation room.  The nurses are fed up with you so they only check on you once in the morning and once late at night.  He said after the morning nurse checked on you, he injected your feeding bag with a particularly nasty poison that slowly burns your insides.  He says you should just be starting to feel the agony now.  Then, he hooks up his laptop to our tv and broadcasts the camera he hid in your room.  You are writhing in agony.  I go over to him, whisper thank you, and start kissing him passionately.”

Her words were like daggers, but I didn’t neglect her pussy for one second as she went on to describe how she would suck each of their cocks and swallow their cum.  Then she gives each of them a rim job.  Then, one by one they fuck her ass.  And, then they repeat with her pussy.  And then as she’s watching me thrash on the television, right as the last one cums inside her pussy, I stop moving.  Her knees buckle and she begins gushing in the most explosive orgasm she’s ever had.  And then she came all over my face, for real.

“Oh, honey.  That was awesome.  That fantasy doesn’t trouble you too much, does it?”

She slid up a little and looked down as I shook my head.

“Well, I guess not!  I can see your prick bouncing through your jeans!  It’s been a while for you, hasn’t it?  What, like three months?”

“Yes, something like that.”

“Well, go ahead into the bathroom and jerk off, then!  Just make sure it all goes in the toilet, okay?”

“Thank you, baby.  I will.”  I stood up to go into the bathroom, still slightly offended that Eric got an amazing blow job and I had to go jerk off out of sight.  Not to mention the fact that she made a production out of swallowing every last drop of his cum and wanted me to make sure mine all went in the toilet.  Even the rewards with her were going to humiliating and I didn’t figure that would ever change, either.

When I came out of the bathroom, she had her dress back on and she was holding that little pink chastity tube she had thrown away the day of our wedding.

“Here, put this on now.  When I got home, I decided to rescue it from trash.”

“Did you save the dildo molded after me, too?”

“No, I didn’t want that inside me ever again.  It’s in the landfill with all the other worthless garbage by now, I’m sure,” she laughed.

“But, I thought you liked my cock, the way it was shaped.  It got you off many times.”

She fastened the lock, saying, “It did, but that’s different.  The only reason it got me off is because I could get the whole thing inside me.  Real sex doesn’t work that way.  The only position that would allow me to get enough of you inside me to get me off is the cowgirl.  And, you’re not a sexy cowboy, honey.  And almost all of the other positions simply wouldn’t work.  In other words, honey, you just can’t fuck.  You’re not long enough to.  And I’m not going to ride a man out of pity because he can’t fuck.  That wouldn’t be fair to me or to the billions of men out there who can fuck.”

Probably because I realized what she was saying was absolutely true, it really hurt.

“Kneel back down here, honey.  You see the kind of fucked up fantasies I have about you.  Are you absolutely sure you want to take this journey with me?”

“Yes.”

“And you know how this is going to end, right?”

“With me in a coffin?”

She laughed, “Well, probably not in a coffin.  I’ll probably just have you cremated and skip the whole funeral thing.  I don’t want to waste your insurance money on you!”  She got a good laugh out of that.  “Speaking of which.  Do you have insurance?”

“Yes, the day you agreed to meet me at that BDSM club, I went out and bought a $250,000 policy.”

“Really?  Just like Jolti?” She asked referring to the sailor’s life insurance policy in “De-manning Hubby”, the disturbing story that was probably the primary reason we originally connected.

“Just like Jolti.”

“See, this is why I love you.  And, I’m going to love making you my Jolti, even more!”

“Wait, you love me?”

“I didn’t mean love like the love a woman has for her man.  Or even that a woman has for another woman whose her friend.  I guess not really even the love most people have for their pets.  It’s more like the love I have for my phone.  See it’s very useful to me and gives me lots of pleasure, but at some point in the not too distant future, it’s going to break or I’ll get tired of it and it’ll be time to throw it away and get a new one.  That’s kind of how I feel about you,” she mocked, half jokingly, half seriously.

“Oh, so you’re just going to throw me away.”

“Hmmm.  I might.  Or I could flush you down the toilet, turn you into fertilizer, or use you for kitty litter!  Ashes are pretty versatile, you know.”

I was fairly sure she was just teasing so I smiled at her and asked if she minded if I got laid down.  She smiled back and said good night.

Shortly after I fell asleep, I was awoken with a slap on the face.  “I thought I told you to make sure YOUR SHIT went in the toilet?”

“What are you talking about, honey?”  I asked, startled.

“Your NASTY CUM!  After you went to bed, I had to pee real bad, so I used the downstairs toilet.  When I sat down, I felt something sticky on my butt.  I almost threw up when I realized what it was!  I had to take a shower just so I could feel normal, again!”

“I’m so sorry, honey,” I said, half-heartedly, fairly annoyed that she guzzled other men’s cum and treated mine like it was infected with Ebola.  “I tried to aim it in the bowl.  There was just so much and you know how my penis curves upwards.  It hit the back of the seat and ran down the bowl.  I wiped it off with toilet paper.  I looked at the seat when I put it down and didn’t see anything.”

“Well, you missed a spot.  Besides, why would you use toilet paper?  That doesn’t do anything!  We have antibacterial wipes.  You should have wiped down the top of the seat first, then the underside, and then the rim of the toilet bowl.  And, after that, you should have gotten the toilet bowl cleaner out and scrubbed the bowl to make sure it was all sanitized!”

Not wanting to argue or indulge her ridiculousness, I apologized again, “I’m sorry.  I should have done all that.  I promise I will next time.”

“It’s too late for ‘I’m sorries’.  You got your foul shit on me.  And I know it won’t happen again because I’ll never let you cum again.  Now get out of my bed.  You can sleep on the hard floor tonight, you inconsiderate bastard!”

Life as her cuckold became almost unbearably hard that night.  As I lay there hopelessly attempting to get comfortable, I thought about my plans for revenge on the rapists.  Although the idea of it gave me hope, I’d never be able to defy her wishes or even to harbor any feelings besides gratitude towards the men that gave her the wedding night of her dreams and left me permanently disfigured.  I had to accept that I was now nothing more that her slave; my body was hers to do with as she or her lovers wished.  I also thought about her referring to me as a ‘sissy’; how I must truly be the weakest of them, emotionally, to give everything to a woman with an insatiable lust to satisfy other men and leave me everything but.