Indian Bride Examination and Skills Training Institute

Chapter 1 – My admission to the institute

I am Aiswarya, aged 22, from Chennai in south India. I am about 5’8” in height and about 52 kgs in weight. I have a good physique and quite fair in skin colour for my part of the world. I have thick long hair and sharp blue eyes and generally look beautiful and attractive. My father is a construction supervisor and mother is a bank employee. I have one younger sister, Leela, aged 18. I just completed my Bachelors in Computer Science at a nearby college two months ago. I had intended to begin working when my parents decided that it was time for me to get married. They convinced me that I could work after marriage and that it was up to me to persuade my husband to allow me to work.

It is quite normal in south India for girls to get married right after their basic college education and especially so when there is another girl in the house waiting in line. It is also commonplace for the parents of the girl to arrange her marriage within the same community and find a suitable groom for her. I personally have no problems with arranged marriage since I had not fallen in love with anyone yet. I did not protest against my parents decision to get me married this soon as I knew very well it would be both rude and in vain.

It has been the general practice of our region for the past many decades for the girl to be brought up in a very obedient and disciplined manner by the parents, and taught to behave well in her new home after marriage so as to save the pride of her parents. It is very embarrassing for the girls’ parents if the husband or his family sends the girl back to her parents for any mistakes or misunderstandings or after a disagreement. It is therefore taught to the girl that she has to adjust herself to her in-laws and accept the way of life in her new house even if it is harsh or unpleasant. However, this culture and tradition is slowly disappearing as the girls are becoming very highly educated and self-sufficient that they no longer wish to abide by the husband or his family. This has led to many divorces and separations ruining many families. It has made it difficult for the younger girls in the family to get married if the older sister is at home separated from her husband. While it is true that the husband’s family take the girl for granted to do the housework and treat her like a unpaid maid, it is also true that the girl herself is sometimes very adamant, demanding and troublesome to her husband and in-laws, which is more often the reason for the disagreement and quarrels.

This obvious change in scene of a traditionally harmonious society where the men ruled over the women, inspired an innovative businessman to start an education institute named “The Bride Examination and Skills Training Institute” and is now widely known as The BEST Institute. It has been about seven years since it started and it now has several branches across south India. They provide a one-year course for girls between the age of 18-35 and accommodates mainly unmarried girls but also married women and separated or divorced women to make them suitable for a role as a wife in our society. The behavior and attitude of the early batch of graduates was so applausable and apparent that they can settle very well into their new home and get along with their husband and in-laws, the Institute's fame shot sky high in such a short frame of time. It has now become almost a requirement of the groom’s side that the bride must have completed this course to be eligible to seek marriage proposals. The Institute has eventually extended their services to graduates for home-visits by the trainers and one-week or two-week camps for the graduate and her husband to attend as a revival process.

I was no exception to the general rule of the land, and I am also forced by my parents to attend this one-year course at this Institute at Chennai. The strange part of this Institute is that they don’t disclose their syllabus or what they do during the one-year course. It is also very surprising that after seven years of establishment and more than 1200 graduate girls across south India, no one has divulged the happenings inside the Institute and their teachings remains a secret till date. This feeling of stepping into the unknown world makes me feel very uneasy and nervous. I had asked my cousin sister who completed the course two years back and got married almost immediately after graduation, and she would not reveal anything except that it is great and absolutely necessary for me to take the course. The other disturbing fact is that the one year time should be spent on campus at the Institute without any visits back home until graduation. Our parents may check on us from time to time but we would not know of their visits.

As the course became popular, the cost of the course has been steadily increasing and thereby making it difficult for middle-class families like mine to afford it without a loan. However, the Institute started offering scholarships for candidates that they seemed suitable, without specifying the criteria for such selection, along with a bond from the girl that she would work for the Institute for a certain period of time in exchange for the financial support the Institute offerred. My father had already arranged for a loan but I was determined to get a scholarship from the Institute and reduce the burden on my father. It is already a overloaded burden on his shoulders to spend for the marriage expenses and dowry and jewellery for both my marriage and my sister’s marriage which was not too far away from mine.

We had applied for my place in the Institute and last week I received a letter from the Institute to attend an interview. Since the demand for the course had grown so much, the Institute was running in full capacity in all branches and had to shortlist and pick their students. I personally don’t know of anyone who got rejected, so I was confident of getting a place and hopeful of a scholarship with it. The interview was scheduled for today morning at 9am and I had woken up at 5am after a near sleepless night. I was fearful and sad of missing my parents and my beloved sister for a year. The had stated that I was to bring my clothes and personal belongings for staying there for the next year because if I was selected, then I would proceed to the campus from the interview to commence the course tomorrow. I got ready and dressed nicely in a red saree with some basic make-up. I took the blessings of my parents and hugged my sister before leaving. I was in tears as I got onto the taxi but controlled myself fearing my sister would cry as well. Once on the taxi and moving away from my house, I exploded into sobs.

The taxi ride was about an hour to the outskirts of Chennai. The Institute was located in an isolated land of more than 100 acres which was fully fenced and guarded from the outside world. The taxi was allowed inside the gate after I produced my interview letter. About 500 metres into the driveway, a girl wearing a blue sudidhar stopped the taxi and asked me to get off there. I paid the driver, took my luggage and got off. The taxi took a U-turn and drove away as the girl walked me into a building. It was only 8.10am and I was almost an hour early. There were several more girls in blue sudidhars in and outside of the building with writing pads and name badges. A few girls around my age wearing different clothes were sitting in the line of steel chairs with name badges stuck to their clothes. They were all very nervous looking and remained quiet for all I could notice. I was asked my name by the girl who led me in and I replied “Aiswarya Sivakumar”. The girl found my name in the list and ticked it. She then handed me a badge with my name on it and a Candidate number 203 written on it. When the badge was attached to my saree near my left breast, I was asked to sit on the steel chair as well next to one of the girl. I was suddenly feeling nervous too and sat quietly for a while taking deep breaths. A few minutes later, I started observing my surroundings and noticed it was a round shaped, high ceiling large hall with many doors to various rooms. There were many windows around the hall to provide good natural lighting and air. There were more girls brought in by the girls in blue and the hall was getting crowded with girls. It suddenly struck me that there were no men in the entire hall except for a few guards outside near the gate. Eventually, the girls were sent one after another into different rooms for their interviews and the crowd was moving around the hall. There were more newcomers and the blue-sudidhar girls were busy organizing the seating arrangement. I was soon called by a girl with a writing pad and asked to go into a room marked Interview Room No.6. The girl opened the door for me and I stepped into a narrow hallway. “Just go straight and turn right. You can leave your luggage there and someone will be there to guide you along. Best of luck” said the girl and closed the door behind me. I did so pulling my luggage and there was a girl wearing a black sudidhar when I turned right into a room. “Aiswarya Sivakumar?” she asked looking at my badge and I nodded. She fastened a tag labeled with my name and number, and put my luggage into the adjoining room which held many other luggages similarily tagged. “Follow me” she said and walked me through a door into another room. This room had two men and two women sitting behind a panel table and I was made to stand in front of them without a chair being provided. The girl in black sudidhar stood behind me about five feet away. I gently smiled unsure of what to do. I was expecting some kind of questions but there was nothing coming. They talked amongst themselves for a few moments as I waited restlessly. I tried hard to understand their words but to no avail. After three or so long minutes, one of the man said “Divya, please take Aiswarya and let her change. Bring her back after changing”. He had spoken to the girl standing behind me and I promptly looked back at her. “Come” she said and opened the door for me to walk out. I was surprised not to be questioned and was unsure what I am asked to change. Once the door was closed behind us, the girl said “You are selected for the course and seems like they wish to offer you a scholarship and that is why they want you back”. I was very excited suddenly and happy that they had selected me not only for the course but also for a scholarship. “Thanks” I said with a smile. I was shown into a room stacked with racks and cabinets, and she looked at me from top to bottom, and picked out a packet containing a white sudidhar. “I think medium size would fit you” she said handing me the packet. I removed the wrapping and saw it was a white colour sudidhar with maybe four or five green and red flowers across the top which makes it look white for the most part. I was glad it was not the plain white but a kind of milky cream white. She took my badge off my saree and said “You can put your clothes into that brown bag and wear this clothes. This is the student uniform here”. I was annoyed that I was given an uniform to wear because I have gone through 3-years of college wearing casual clothes, but I did not share my feelings with her. I just nodded and she left the room closing the door allowing me some privacy. I quickly changed into the sudidhar and it fitted me perfectly well. I put my saree, blouse and petticoat into the brown bag and sealed it. I kept my bra and panties on as I was not provided any and I did not think it was part of the uniform code. As I walked out, the girl was standing there and I handed my bag to her. She fastened another name tag to it and put it with my suitcase. I looked at this girl Divya more carefully now that I was relaxed. She was about 5’6” and about my weight. She looked younger than me though, maybe about 20 but she had this look on her as if she had been doing this work for years. We walked back into the other room and the same four people sat there and I stood in front of them in my new white clothes. Again, they spoke amongst themselves for a few moments before a woman said “Aiswarya, firstly we wish to inform you that you are selected for the course”. “Thank you Madam” I promptly replied with a smile. “We also wish to offer you a scholarship which will fully waive the course fees, if you agree to attend an additional three months of trainer course and accept to work for us for two years” she continued. I nodded and said “Yes, Madam. I will be more than happy to do so”. “Very good aiswarya. After the additional three months of training, while you are working, you may be allowed to get married if you so wish or if your parents so wish” said the other woman. I just blushed and nodded at the mention of my marriage. “Of course, this three months only starts after you have successfully graduate, which I believe should not be difficult for you” said one of the men. I just nodded and said “Yes Sir”. He then slid a document across the table with a pen. I just took the pen and signed it barely reading it through. “It is just the written version of what we just told you” assured one of the women. I signed the papers and returned it back. “Divya will be your mentor and she will guide you through the orientation process soon”  said one of the men and then Divya promptly opened the door behind me and showed me out. I was in joy to realize that I received a full waiver of the fees and could not stop smiling as I walked out into the outside room.

“Congratulations Aiswarya for your successful admission into the course and also for a full scholarship” said Divya. “Thanks divya” I replied with a smile and a slight jump. Her face turned a little stern suddenly and my smile instantly vanished as well. “Aiswarya, I am your Mentor and that means a lot around here. You should address me as Divya Madam from now on to start with. There are many more things you need to know which I will brief you during your orientation later” she said. I was a little scared at her sudden change in tone and I slowly and softly asked “But are you not younger than me?”. “That does not matter as you will learn. There could be students aged 35 here and we can’t have all mentors older than 40 just for that purpose. What matters is that you are a student under my supervision for the next year and I am your Mentor whether you like it or not. Be smart and behave” she replied and fastened my badge on my left breast again. “Do you understand?” she asked. “Yes Madam” I replied hesitantly. “Follow me now” she said with authority which I already did not like. She walked me to the room across the hallway and indicated a seat next to another student. I walked and sat down and Divya disappeared. There were about 6 girls sitting idle and all of them wearing the same sudidhar that I was wearing. About an hour passed and I was getting hungry but there was no one else apart from the students in the room to ask. When 5 more girls took their seats near me, another hour or so had passed and finally Divya came and asked all of us to follow her to the outside through a door in this room. We hopped on a mini-bus and started driving further inwards into the campus.