Mind Games

Chapter 40: A TREE THAT MIGHT BE FALLING

       Present day

       To Gabriel's relief chaos did not assault him when he entered the Bearer's quarters with Carmen, Turbo and Mariah; in fact, the living room was relatively empty.  Yesnid, the Bearer's wife, sat on a red sofa staring at a fire in the fireplace, and one of Carmen's brothers -- Gabriel wasn't sure of his name -- lounged on the carpet nearby, reading a manuscript. A few slaves were about, cleaning or sewing.

       Turbo set Carmen down on another sofa.  Her mother barely glanced up and Carmen took no notice of her.  At Carmen's command Turbo went to fetch the Bearer from his study. 

       Gabriel sat down as well, holding Mariah's hand and thereby pulling her down with him. He knew he should greet Yesnid, but he was distracted Mariah's hand clutching his.  She simultaneously shrank back and hunched in on herself, and Gabriel could feel her pulse rate soar.  The Bearer had entered the room. 

       That face.  Mariah had seen it once before.  She had been semi-conscious when the hunters had brought her before him.  She remembered a blur of voices, Master Cassender, the hunters, others.  The Bearer had spoken to her, but what he had said and what she had replied she could not recall. 

       And then the order to kill her on the cross.  The Bearer had given that order. 

       And it was at his command that she was taken down from the cross, and given to Gabriel. 

       Now here he was.  

       "Healer!" he boomed. His voice assaulted Mariah.  "Glad to see you reunited with my daughter.  I told her you would come round, if she did what you asked." He glanced at Turbo.  "Huge improvement in the houseboy, too.  You might just turn my daughter into a rebel."  He frowned at Carmen, and then snapped his fingers.  A slaveboy rushed to him and kneeled before him.  "Bring us refreshments," he said.  "The zinfandel from five years ago, and sandwiches.  And tell the kitchen rag I'll have her beaten to tomorrow if they're not edible."

       Barely pausing for a breath, he turned to Gabriel, who let go of Mariah's hand and started to stand up.  Waving him down, the Bearer seated himself in an armchair that was slightly too small for his large frame.  "To what do I owe this pleasure?" he said, nearly as loudly as before.  "Not that your company isn't always welcome here."

       Before Gabriel could respond, Carmen answered for him.  "I asked him to see you, Da." 

       The Bearer lowered his shaggy eyebrows at her. "Carmen, I'm sure Gabriel will agree to heal you without my intervention. That's why he rode from the other side of the world."

       Carmen sniffed impatiently.  "I know that, Da.  He already said he would.  That's not why I wanted him to come."

       The Bearer's foot twitched impatiently.  "It's not a good time for a social call, Carmen.  Invite the Healer to come to dinner some evening, if you like." He stood up.  "My apologies for my daughter," he said to Gabriel. He stopped for a moment, swayed slightly, and took a step away. 

       "No, Da!" From her sofa Carmen said, imperiously, "You may not go.  I asked him to come to see you, when I knew you'd be here, and not busy."

       "I'm always busy," the Bearer growled. 

       "Not too busy for this!" Carmen crossed her arms and glared at him.  "I told Gabriel about your dizzy spells," she said.  "I want him to heal you, like he's going to heal me."

       The Bearer looked at his daughter, hard, for a moment, and it seemed impossibly as though she was towering over him.  He turned his gaze to Mariah.  "Is this the runaway?" he asked.

       Gabriel blinked at the unexpected turn.  "This is Mariah," he said. 

       The Bearer looked Mariah over, while she fought the urge to sink down into the cushions, forced herself to breathe.  "You've done a fine job with her," the Bearer said.  "I never would have thought she'd live.  Of course I'm no healer.  Come here, girl," he said sharply.

       Had Gabriel imagined that tiny sound?  A whimper?  From Mariah?  "No," he said, putting his arm across her middle to prevent her from rising. "She's under my protection, here as elsewhere."  The slaves around the room pretended disinterest. 

       "Now, now," the Bearer said mildly.  "I just want to talk to her."  He frowned when Gabriel did not move his arm.  "You question my hospitality?" He sounded hurt.

       Reluctantly Gabriel allowed Mariah to stand. Without being told she assumed the standard position, hands behind her head, elbows out, feet shoulder width apart, eyes down.

       "Mariah!" Gabriel said sharply, as he reflexively shot up and grabbed her elbow to pull her out of position. Mariah resisted him.

       "You may stand down," the Bearer said.  Mariah lowered her arms and stood respectfully, although her knees were knocking.  "No need to get hot and bothered," the Bearer said to Gabriel.  "I merely wish to see the miracle you've wrought.  I hear you had her outside the gate and brought her in peacefully, and now you're training her for a nurse."

       "How did you know . . . "  Gabriel began, but he stopped himself and frowned angrily. "If you know that then surely you know I tolerate no abuse of her," he said.  

       "Da!" Carmen interrupted. "Stop distracting Gabriel.  This isn't your throne room and I won't have your tricks!"  She glared at him, then turned to Mariah.  "Sit down," she ordered.  "He'll toy with you no more." 

       Mariah stared at the floor.  Gabriel chuckled.  "Very distracting indeed," he said.  "Now, about those dizzy spells . . ."

       The Bearer frowned, but then raised his hands in surrender.  Mariah allowed Gabriel to pull her down. 

       There may have been pride in the look the Bearer gave his daughter, but he merely said, gruffly, "I get dizzy.  I stop being dizzy.  I move on.  There's no more to tell." 

       Gabriel looked around the room.  Using the calm voice Mariah heard so often when he spoke to a patient who was scared, he said, "Would you like to talk privately?" His gesture encompassed the Bearer's son, and Yesnid, and Carmen, and all the slaves in the room, even Mariah.

       The Bearer stared at him, and then relaxed.  "All of you, out," he boomed suddenly, and pointed one by one at the slaves.  "To the exercise yard," he said. "You're all getting fatter than me."   He pointed last at Turbo, who had returned to Carmen's side.  "Bring the sandwiches and then take the kitchen sluts with you." 

       Turbo returned with a tray of food and drink, which he set at a coffee table in front of Carmen.  She waved him away, and he followed the other slaves out the door.

       The Bearer glanced around the room, to verify that all his slaves had left.  Then he glared at Mariah.  Mariah could feel it and against her will looked up at him.  It was as if he could read her soul.  Gabriel did that, sometimes.  But unlike Gabriel, the Bearer was invasive and overwhelming. He would know and he would kill her.

       "I won't tell anyone, my lord," she blurted, unbidden, and she realized she was answering a question the Bearer had asked inside her head.  She flushed, shaken by his power. 

       Gabriel blinked, confused, but he turned his attention back to the Bearer when the man said to him, mildly, "Proceed, Healer."

       Without getting up, seeming almost bored, Gabriel went through the list of questions Mariah had become familiar with.  Symptoms, habits, history.  The Bearer answered self-deprecatingly.  The spells had begun some time ago but had become more frequent.  He worked too hard and ate too much and slept too little. He felt dragged out all the time.

       When at last Gabriel examined the Bearer, he did very little. Checked his pulse, listened to his breathing.  He nodded in confirmation of what he had expected.

       "Well?" the Bearer demanded.  "Will I live to see the continued destruction of my reign?"

       Gabriel didn't answer for  a minute.  He just looked at the Bearer.  At last he said, "Do you want to?"

       The Bearer started in surprise, but said, without rancor,  "I do, Healer.  I'm nowhere near ready to go yet."

       "Then you'll have to change your habits," Gabriel said firmly.  "Starting today.  You need to exercise, beginning with walking every day until you're strong enough to do more."  He picked up a sandwich from the tray Turbo had brought in.  Grilled cheese and ham, it dripped grease. Gabriel shook his head.  "And no more food like this. Vegetables, fruit, grains, very little meat or dairy." 

       The Bearer and Carmen exchanged glances.  "It will be hard at first," Gabriel said, "if you're not used to it.  But your cook can be taught how to make such food palatable.  Delicious, even."

       The Bearer raised his hand to silence Gabriel.  "I don't run my kitchen, or its staff, Healer," he said.  He glanced at his wife, who, perhaps feeling his gaze, looked over at them.  Her eyes were droopy and bloodshot.  She raised her hand in a half-wave, then dropped it down. 

       Gabriel stared at her.  He had met Yesnid a few times when he had come to see Carmen, but he had always been focused on the daughter and the usual chaos distracted him.  But if Yesnid had been drugged like this, he certainly would have noticed.   

       "Is she often . . . ?"  Gabriel asked the Bearer.

       The Bearer shrugged.  "Her habit comes and goes," he said.  "Sometimes months will pass with her completely clean, and then . . . "  He shrugged again.         "The demons get hold of her."

       Mariah recognized those demons.  Master Townsend had been possessed by them.

       "Don't judge her too harshly," the Bearer said, but it wasn't clear exactly who he was talking to.   

       Gabriel looked from Yesnid to the Bearer.  "I have judged her in the past," he said.  "For how she treats her slaves, how she lets your children treat them.  But not for this, no more than I would judge her for suffering from cancer or an ulcer."

       The Bearer sighed heavily.   "It's not cancer," he said.  "It's too many children."  He glanced at Carmen, and his son, and sighed heavily.  "Don't judge her," he said again. 

       The room was quiet for a minute.  The Bearer continued, softly for him, "At the time that we joined to each other, there was a lot of talk of how the human population was becoming too small, our deaths exceeding our births, our numbers decreasing compared to the slaves."

       He picked up a glass of wine, held it up to the light, and put it down without tasting it.  "My uncle had been grooming me to succeed him as Bearer, and Yesnid and I agreed: I would run Riviera, she would run the household and set an example to others by having many children."

       He sighed.  "I wish you could have known her then.  She was smartest person I'd ever met, and vibrant, beautiful.  I couldn't believe how lucky I was."  Gabriel looked over at Yesnid.  She had rested her head on the arm of the couch. Her mouth hung open and a fine line of drool dripped from it.  "But every birth was harder to recover from, each time it took longer.  After Windt was born five years ago, she didn't leave her bed for months. She cried all the time."

       Mariah, more relaxed with the Bearer's attention not on her, could feel Gabriel tense beside her.  Without looking she knew his nostrils were flaring.  She heard him take a breath, and another, so that he could speak calmly.  "Those symptoms are commonplace after birth," he said.  "Any midwife could give her herbs to help her."

       The Bearer smiled bitterly.  "The midwife gave her herbs," he said.  "But they didn't help her.  Instead she grew dependent on them, taking more and more." 

       "And you?" Gabriel said, in the hard voice Mariah recognized he used when he was about to refuse help to a human who would not agree to treat a slave well.  "You are her spouse.  You rule this whole country.  You could not find her a new midwife, and stop her supply?"

       The Bearer narrowed his eyes. "You dare question me?"

       "I dare," Gabriel said, "to do my duty as a healer."

       "Stop it!"  Carmen broke into the rising tension.  "Da tried to help her, Gabriel, he did.  He sent away the slaves who brought her the drugs, but she found others.  They feared her more than my father.  He has had half the healers in Riviera look to her, but they could not help her.  She didn't want to be helped."  Carmen's voice broke. 

       Gabriel, however, was not placated.  "Half the healers in Riviera," he said, "but not me, who you trust with your daughter's care?  Do you love your wife less?"

       "No!" the Bearer exploded.  "She's my heart!"  He looked at her pathetic form, dozing again now.  "You are an outsider.  She wouldn't want you to see her like this, to carry tales back to your people.  If you knew what she was . . ."  The Bearer shook his head.  He took a breath.  "You will help her?" he asked quietly.

       Gabriel nodded.  "If she wishes it, I will try."  He observed her for a minute, and said, almost to himself, "The depression after birth is simply an unbalance, easily rectified, or it would have been until it seeped into her essence.  But the addiction . . . "  He gathered himself.  "First the depression, and when it lifts she'll deal with the addiction as her true self."  He looked back down at the congealing sandwich on the plate.  "But in the meantime, there is the matter of your own health."

       "I'll see to the kitchen slaves, and the food he gets," Carmen said.

       The Bearer slammed his hand onto the coffee table.  "You will not!" he roared, so loudly that Yesnid actually looked at him for a minute. 

       "I will, Da," Carmen said stubbornly, fearlessly.  "You don't have the time, and Mother can't."

       "You will not," the Bearer said again, quieter but fiercer.  "I'll not have you making the same mistake your mother made, domestic duties until they drive you mad, no matter how well-intentioned."  He glared at her.  "You concentrate on learning to walk again, and you're old enough for a work placement, something that interests you . . ."  His blinked, and wiped his eyes.

       "I have to, Da," Carmen says.  "Who else could do it?"

       "I will."  Gabriel had forgotten about Carmen's brother -- what was his name? -- on the rug, reading the manuscript. 

       "What?  No, Ben," the Bearer growled.

       "I want to, Da," the boy said.  "I'm old enough for a work assignment too, and I'm sick to death of the slop that comes out of our kitchen.  Victor's got a cook who . . ."  His eyes shone.  "Well, you should see what he makes.  You should taste it.  And . . . "  He stopped, abashed.  "I want to," he said.

       When his father did not respond, Ben turned to Gabriel.  "You'll help me?" he asked. "If you tell me what he should eat, I'll find a way to work with it."  He glanced at his mother, who was sitting up now.  "I'll need to replace the kitchen staff," he said.  "Put my own in, who haven't learned bad habits." He turned to his father.  "Please, Da, I really want to do this."

       Carmen jumped in.  "Let him, Da."  She smiled mischievously.  "And for my work assignment I'll take Tobby's place in your throne room."

       The Bearer stared from one to the other as if he had never seen them before.  "Very well," he said abruptly. "You can try it." He added after a moment, "Unless your mother says no."  He sighed as he looked over at her. 

       "Give me a minute with her?" Gabriel said softly. 

       The Bearer nodded.  "Let's look at your new domain, shall we?" he said to Ben.  Ben nodded happily and stood up, leaving the manuscript on the ground.  "You come too," the Bearer said quietly to Mariah.  She glanced at her master, who was already with Yesnid, matching his breathing to hers, engrossed with her. Mariah followed the Bearer, her heart pounding again.

       The kitchen was a disaster. Paint was peeling from the ceiling over the stove, and cabinets were pulling away from the wall.  Dirty pots and pans and utensils were everywhere.  The floor was sticky.

       The Bearer paid it no mind.  As soon as Mariah had stepped through the door he shut it behind her and rounded on her.  He wasn't the forlorn, lost husband now, or the father striving for his children, or the bemused host, or the ill man, or the master powerless over his household slaves.  He was the Bearer, radiating power.  Mariah involuntarily took a step back, bumping into a counter.  "Standard position," he growled.  For the second time Mariah raised her hands behind her head, elbows out, eyes down, trembling.

       "Turn," the Bearer commanded her. 

       Mariah turned slowly, feeling the Bearer's eyes on her.  She stopped when she had completed her circle. 

       "You may look at me," he said.  Mariah raised her eyes.  His face was hard.  Mariah tried to step away from him again, but her backside was already against the counter.  He was inside her head.  He was relentless.  He had ordered her death once before, he would do so again.  She knew it. 

       "You know what I did to the painter's rag when your master first arrived in Riviera?" he asked her softly.

       Mariah nodded.  "Yes, Master," she said. 

       "Hardly a whipping," the Bearer said, still softly.  "Three strokes on her tender skin.  To you it would be a mosquito bite, nothing more."

       The Bearer had not released Mariah from the standard position, nor from looking at him.  She was exposed, powerless, unprotected.  She trembled. 

       "There would be no point in me having you whipped," the Bearer said.  He took a step closer to her, so he was speaking almost into her ear, yet not touching her. 

       "What would you fear from me?"  he wondered.  "Not your own death.  You already chose to die, and I ordered you plucked from the cross."

       He was wrong.  Mariah had always wanted to live, had always chosen life, over everything.  Everything but freedom.  It comforted her somewhat to realize that the Bearer was not actually inside her head, could not read her thoughts. 

       But if he would not threaten her with a whipping or with death, then what?  And then in a flash she knew.  She shook her head at the thought. 

       Not Rose, she pleaded inside herself.  And not Raul. Mariah had been a fool to make friends.  She had known better.

       The Bearer was continuing, "No, it is not death you would fear.  But life."  Turning for a moment, he took a carving knife from the counter, and pointed it at her face.  Mariah held herself still, relieved that it was merely her own body he threatened. 

       The Bearer nodded.  "I like courage in a slave," he said.  "But even the bravest have their limits."  He pointed the knife at her left eye.  Mariah focused on looking at him, not at the knife.

       "Of course I wouldn't slice your eyes out.  Much too wasteful." He lowered the knife to her chest, but did not linger there.  Lower still, in front of her belly, not touching it, until the point of it was in front of her crotch.  "Here is where I would cut you," he said.  "A circumcised slave can still fully perform, work, fuck, even bear children.  It is only the pleasure in life they have lost."

       He would do it.  He could do it right now. 

       A crash came from the other side of the kitchen.  Mariah barely heard it, but the Bearer glanced over to his son, who had dropped two pans on the floor.  "Sorry," Ben called out cheerfully as he bent to pick them up.

       The Bearer put the knife on the counter and turned back to Mariah.  "Your master crossed a world to help my daughter," he said.  "And now me, my wife, even my son. You understand?" 

       Mariah could only nod frantically.  "Good," the Bearer said.  "I know it amuses him to have you speak to other slaves about running away, to have you act out in front of humans, and so I have allowed it." He sighed, and in what seemed like an abrupt change of subject he asked, "Have you ever witnessed a human punished for miscegenation?"

       Mariah had rarely heard the word, but she knew what it meant -- crossing the boundaries between human and slave.  She remembered, when she had belonged to Mistress Iliana, the human, Mack, being whipped with the bullwhip and sent to the mines because he had raised a slave child as human.  "Yes, Master," she said.

       "Gabriel doesn't understand our rules, or the consequences of breaking them, but I do, and so do you.  If he goes too far . . . "  The Bearer sighed and shook his head.  "I hate to think of it.  There are plenty of people who are appalled, sickened, by how he treats slaves as if they are human.  I protect him, but I can't control an angry mob."

       The Bearer picked up the knife and put it down.  "If you do anything to hurt him, or go beyond the freedom he allows you, or provoke others into harming him, I will personally see to your punishment."  He glanced meaningfully down at Mariah's crotch.

       The kitchen door swung open and Gabriel came in.  "She's willing to work with me," he said to the Bearer in a low voice.  He stopped abruptly when he saw Mariah. "What are you  . . . ?" 

       The Bearer raised his hands and said jovially, "I didn't touch your rag, Healer, as I promised.  Isn't that right, girl?" 

       "Yes, master," Mariah muttered. 

       The Bearer nodded approvingly.  "Stand down then."  He turned to Gabriel.  "Tell me, Healer, is there anything you need?  For your work, for your comfort?"

       Gabriel was staring in consternation at Mariah as she lowered her arms, her back still pressed against the counter.  With an effort he focused his attention on the Bearer's words.  "Yes," he said abruptly.  "A cadaver." 

       "A corpse, you mean?" the Bearer asked, leading the way back to the living room. 

       Gabriel nodded.  He had taken Mariah by the hand again.  He looked at her as he said, "And a cold room.  I have . . . students . . . who are ready to dissect."

       The Bearer shuddered, but he said, "Certainly.  Choose any slave you like.  Is there a method for killing them you prefer?"

       Gabriel shuddered this time, and backed up, stepping on Mariah's toe.  "I didn't mean . . ." he said, flustered, then annoyed.  "If you've no objection, I'm sure the hospital can provide me with a cadaver of someone who died of natural causes.  I know your tradition is burial, but if I had the assent beforehand . . . "

       The Bearer smiled genially as he led Gabriel to the door.  "Not a conversation I would want to have," he said, "but they say  you have a way about you.  I'll have my scribe send you a permission, and we'll find a cold room for you as well.  We've plenty of unused kitchen facilities.  Is there anything else you need?" 

       "Yes," Gabriel said, ice in his voice, turning to face the Bearer as he stepped into the corridor. "You gave me Mariah.  Now leave her alone." Pulling her by her limp hand, he practically slammed the door in the Bearer's face. 

       "You're paler than the whitewash on the wall," he said to Mariah.  "What did he say to you?"

       It took Mariah a moment to find her voice.  "He told me . . . "  She couldn't tell him.  Gabriel would storm back in and . . .  He didn't need to know and it would change nothing.  "He told me to be nice to you," she said.   

       "Ah," Gabriel responded.  "That accounts for why you're shaking."     

         Flashback

       Mariah lost track of her placements.  The dark-skinned sisters who fought over her until they realized they were both bored; the redheaded man who liked her to always be near, until she thought she would scream if she didn't get five minutes away from him; the woman who gave her a fearsome beating when she realized her cat liked Mariah more than her; there were more, she was sure, but she couldn't remember them. 

       PRESENT DAY

       Animal hummed as he worked, his morning's annoyance with Rose forgotten.  He was pleased with how the fifth and sixth panels were shaping up.  They were both simple scenes.  The fifth showed a boy and a girl studying together, their heads bent over a shared manuscript.  The sixth depicted the same boy and girl, older now, sitting at the edge of a swimhole, their feet in the water, their knees touching.  Truth be told, Animal wondered if it was too smarmy, but sometimes a picture needed to paint itself.

       Rose was preparing the wall for the seventh panel.  That one he would give to his apprentices, if they bothered to show up.  A circus scene. The apprentices would enjoy painting contorted slaves.  Acrobatics was a dying art.  Somewhat of a pity, Animal shrugged to himself.  Even he could appreciate the years of training it took for a slave to be able to achieve those positions, balancing on their tiptoes as they pranced or on their heads as they twirled. 

       He turned when he heard the main door to the revel room open with a loud squeak. Rose knew who it was by the way Animal's eyes lit up.  "Amalie!" As she walked toward them he said with pretended crossness, "Come to grouse about my windows again?"

       Amalie climbed onto the scaffolding where Animal was working, and examined the half-finished panels.  She knit her eyebrows, then looked at Animal and laughed. Animal grinned in return and shrugged.  "Sometimes a picture paints itself," he said out loud. Rose watched them, trying to puzzle out what her master and Mistress Amalie had no need to say to each other.  She didn't like Mistress Amalie, she realized suddenly.  

       "It was good to see you last night," Amalie said, somewhat abruptly. 

        "You saw me yesterday morning, at the museum, too," Animal said. 

       Amalie smiled briefly.  "I liked watching you teach," she said.  "But it was good to see you someplace else.  With our friends. Relaxing."

       Animal winced.  "Your friends," he said. 

       "Yours, too," Amalie said.  "Or they used to be."

       Animal turned back to the panel.  He lifted the brush but didn't paint.  "They tolerate me," he said.

       Amalie put her hand on his raised arm and turned him to face her.  "They're worried about you," she said.  "So am I." 

       Animal tilted his head and cocked an eyebrow. Amalie took a half step closer.  "They say you've been keeping to yourself for a long while now."

       Animal took a half step away from her, looking briefly behind to make sure he was not at the edge of the scaffolding.  "I'm working," he said.

       "They work too, some of them," Amalie said.  "But they don't hide in their apartments when they're done, or spend all their time with  . . ."

       "With who?" Animal said.  "Outlanders?"    

       Amalie shrugged.  "The outlander," she said.  "And . . ."  Animal followed her look to Rose at the next scaffolding, seemingly engrossed in washing the wall with a soda ash solution. 

       "They begrudge me a housegirl?" Animal asked.  "As I recall, I was the only human at the party last night without a slave for a personal footstool." 

       "If you had brought her we both know you wouldn't have used her for a footstool," Amalie said. Rose turned bright red.  "And you wouldn't have let anyone else, either."

       "Yes, we both know I'm a pansy," Animal said.  "Is that what you came to tell me?"

       Amalie turned to look at the panel again.  She reached out and almost touched the figure of the boy with his feet in the pond.  "You weren't always," she said softly.  "We had some fun."

       Animal looked at the panel as well.  He said, just as softly, kindly almost, "I was trying to impress a girl."

       "Do you regret it?" Amalie asked.  Her hand came down and took his, and they stared at the painting together, neither seeing exactly what was in front of them.

       "No," Animal said after a moment.  "Not trying to impress the girl, never that.  But some of the things I did . . .  " He shrugged. 

       Amalie pulled his hand out to the side and turned, so that they were facing each other again, only inches apart.  "And if I told you the girl was impressed?"

       "I'd say the girl told the boy a long time ago that they would never be anything more than friends."

       Amalie put her hands on his shoulders, and looked up at him.  "I'm coming to you as a friend," she said.  "When is the last time you made love to a human?"  When Animal shrugged and didn't answer, she continued, "The last time you were with a girl who could take initiative, who could tell you what she wanted, who could make you wait until your pleasure exploded out of you?"

       Without thinking Animal looked past Amalie to Rose, who was looking back at him.  He smiled at her, the same knowing, secret smile he had given to Amalie when she first gazed at the panel.

       Amalie saw.  She backed away from Animal as if he had slapped her.  "You're just like your father," she hissed.

       "My father was a good man," Animal said.

       "Your father was a laughingstock!" Amalie shouted.  "And so are you."  Animal's face froze, but Amalie continued, pointing out to the empty revel room. "You know why your apprentices don't come back?" 

       "Enlighten me."

       "Because they can't stomach watching you chase your rag around like a puppy after a ball!" She turned and pointed at Rose.  "I've heard from three different people how you followed her into the storage closet the other day when she wagged her ass at you.  Word is you're not just a pansy, you're . . ." 

       "That's enough!" Animal snapped. 

       They stared at each other, arms crossed, breathing hard, until Amalie turned, climbed off the scaffolding, and left through the door to the yard, slamming it behind her.  Animal watched her go, not saying a word. 

       FLASHBACK        

       "Back again, eh?" Master Victor, the exchange master, gruffly asked Mariah.  With the hundreds or thousands of slaves that came through the exchange, Mariah couldn't help a grudging respect that he seemed to remember them all.  He turned to Master William.  "She misbehave?  Or you just bored?"

       Master William shrugged.  "Bored, I guess," he said, without looking at Mariah.  "She's well-enough trained, but not much personality."

       At Master Victor's soft order she assumed the standard position.  He circled her slowly.  She had a few fresh marks, but she was clearly fit for service.

       Master Victor signed her in.  "You remember where to go?" he asked her.

       "Yes, Master," Mariah replied. 

       "Do I need to shackle you?"

       "Only if it pleases you, Master."

       "Go on, then."

       Mariah walked over to the section for houseslaves, sitting near but not with the other slaves awaiting placement.  As usual, she recognized some of them but made no move to be friendly. She saw Master William approaching.

       "You just came from him, didn't you?" Taisha, a girl who had been on the same hall, asked her.

       Mariah nodded, not minding exchanging information.  "He's not bad," she said, soft enough that only the group could hear her.  "Likes to jog.  If you don't lag behind he'll treat you well enough."

       At those words some of the girls shrank down but more sat up straighter and tried to look enticing.  Mariah watched as Master William looked around the group, and spoke to a few of the girls before selecting a blonde Mariah didn't know. As they walked toward Master Victor Mariah leaned back against a tree and settled in to wait for her own turn, fighting for calm in the face of the familiar, almost boring dread of what might come.         

       PRESENT DAY, A FEW DAYS LATER

       Mariah prowled restlessly around Gabriel's apartment, glancing at a half-finished portrait of Gabriel Animal had left on an easel, and then through the open sliding door into the  courtyard, and then at the barely used kitchen, spotless from Rose's cleaning. 

       Finally, she looked at Gabriel's sleeping figure on the couch.  He had said he would take her to the woods that afternoon to continue his lesson on finding edibles in the wild.  She thought about touching him as if by accident to wake him up. She shook her head angrily.  It's a mindgame, she hissed silently to herself.

       Through the apartment walls Mariah heard the slash of a whip followed by whimpering, a pause, the whipstroke again.  The whimper became a gasping sob. 

       The girl being whipped was Rose.

       She was so startled she jumped, her elbow knocking a can of drying paintbrushes to the floor.  Gabriel lifted his head at the clatter.  "What is it?" he asked groggily, rubbing his eye with the palm of his hand.

       Mariah tried to shrug nonchalantly.  "Someone's playing with Rose," she said.   

       "Wha...?"  Gabriel was fighting hard to wake up. The crack of the whip again.  He jolted to alertness.  In a movement he was off the couch and striding through the courtyard to Animal's apartment.  Mariah walked soundlessly behind him.

       Gabriel paused, shocked, in Animal's open doorway.  Rose was belly down over the footstool, her knees on the floor and widely parted. Her lower back and butt were marked with angry welts.  Animal stood a few feet behind her open thighs, his long thin whip in his raised hand. 

       "You stay out of this, Gabriel," Animal said calmly, as if he had been expecting him.  He flicked the whip so that its tip landed between Rose's ass cheeks.  Rose made a mewling sound between her tightly clenched lips.

       In a fury Gabriel crossed the room, pulled the whip from Animal's grasp with his left hand and punched Animal in the jaw with his right.  It wasn't a well-thrown blow, but Animal wasn't expecting it and it set him sprawling backwards onto the couch.  Gabriel pushed his advantage and towered over Animal, his fist clenched back for another punch if Animal should try to get up.

       Animal raised his hands in mock surrender, but said harshly, "Don't push me too far, Gabriel.  Rose deserves this."  He started to sit up, but Gabriel pushed him back down.

       "Deserves?  This?"  Gabriel said incredulously.  "If we're giving out what we deserve, then you deserve this."  He shifted the whip he had taken from Animal from his left hand to his right, and slashed at Animal.  The leather swung in a wide slow arc and caught Animal on the shoulder, too poorly thrown to tear his shirt. 

       Animal jumped up.  "You go too far, Gabriel!" he shouted, pushing at him with his hands and knocking the whip away.  "Rose deserves far worse for what she did.  She knows it!  Look at her!"

       Purposefully knocking Animal with his shoulder as he passed, Gabriel strode to Rose, who still lay over the footstool.  "It's okay now, Rose," he said to her.  "You can get up.  I'll get some balm for you -- the welts aren't too bad, and you'll stay in my apartment."  Rose sobbed but didn't move.  Gabriel realized he was babbling.  He knelt down and stroked her hair.  "It's over," he said.

       Animal said, "I told her to stay there, and she won't move until I tell her she can."  He added, "You might not care, but I am her master, not you." 

       Gabriel didn't spare him a glance.  "Release her," he said.

       For a moment Animal was silent.  Then he said, "Get up, Rose.  We'll finish this later." 

       Rose moved off the footstool but didn't stand up.  She crawled to Animal and licked his shoes, sobbing.  Animal kicked at her, connecting with her upper arm.  Gabriel gurgled as if the blow had been aimed at him and moved as if he would punch Animal again.  Before he could, Rose managed to squirm so that she was in between the two men.  "Please, Master Gabriel," she pleaded in a tear-strained voice, "Don't hit him again."

       In a rage Animal grabbed Rose by the hair and pulled her up by it.  "You speak when I told you to be silent?" he shouted at her.  "Are you completely ruined?"

       Gabriel kicked wildly and landed a blow on Animal's shin.  Animal howled in pain and let go of Rose.  Gabriel scooped her up as if she was his medicine bag.  "You touch her again, I swear I'll kill you," Gabriel hissed to Animal.  Rose struggled to escape from Gabriel, until he lost his balance and fell onto the couch, with Rose on top of him.  Rose immediately dove for the floor and got back on her hands and knees in front of Animal. 

       Helplessly Gabriel looked around.  Mariah was still standing in the doorway.  Their eyes met.  Mariah looked away, but she walked slowly into the room.  Animal growled at her, "You get out."

       In a voice clear and regal, Mariah said, "The Bearer told you to share Rose with Master Gabriel.  When he hears of this, he'll put an end to your murals in the Great Hall, and he'll take Rose from you." 

       "You little bitch!" Animal hissed, jumping up and reaching for his whip on his belt.  Realizing it wasn't there, he backhanded Mariah in the face instead, sending Mariah reeling  with its force. 

       Mariah let out a shrieking, almost hysterical laugh.  "Mindgame over!" she said.  "What do you think of your precious, kind master now, Rose?"

       Animal lunged after her, pulling the belt from his pants to use as a whip.  Gabriel threw himself at Animal and they both sprawled onto the floor, Animal's head hitting it with a thud.

       "Stop it!  Please stop it!  I did deserve to be punished.  Another master would have killed me for what I did!"  Rose was on her feet, crying and trying to pull Gabriel off of Animal. Gabriel stopped struggling to stare at her. Animal growled deep in his throat but did not try to stand up.

       "What did you do that was so terrible?" Mariah asked with pretended diffidence, holding a hand to her rapidly swelling eye.

       Rose looked pleadingly at Animal, who glared back at her but gave her an almost imperceptible nod.  She took a deep breath.  "I lied to a mistress."

       Gabriel slowly stood up and turned to her.  "And for that you deserve to die?  Or be tortured?" he asked.  "Mariah lies every day.  Sometimes I think every time she opens her mouth it is to lie to me.  Does she deserve to die, also?" 

       All three turned to look at Mariah, who squared her shoulders and scowled. 

       "Yes," said Animal suddenly, from his prone position.  "She does deserve to die.  Rose never would have behaved this way if it weren't for Mariah's influence."  He glared from Mariah to Rose to Gabriel.  "And you defend her, and bring your outsider ways here, and push me and push me and push me, and ask me to give up everything I know for your sake."  His voice broke as he struggled to his feet.  "It's too much, I tell you."

       "Not for my sake," Gabriel said.  "Because it is right."

   

       "Right?" said Animal. He laughed humorlessly.  "You know nothing of our ways.  You tell us to treat slaves as if they are humans.  They're not!  I've told you this before, and you refuse to believe.  The best of them are like helpless children.  They think only of sex, and gruel, and avoiding punishment.  You've done Rose no favor by teaching her uppity, lying ways!  Look at her!"

       Gabriel did look at Rose.  Her face was woebegone, and her body shaking.  Then he glanced at Animal whose face, unguarded, was just as sad, and he was also shaking.

       "What lie did she tell?" asked Mariah.

       "Be silent!" Animal said to her, but quietly, as if his energy had been sapped out of him.

       "It is a good question," said Gabriel.  "What lie did you tell, Rose?"

       Rose said nothing, but her eyes filled with tears.

       "Answer," Animal commanded her.

       Falteringly, Rose whispered, "I told Mistress Marge that Master Animal was not here, although I knew that he was in the studio, painting."

       "Why?" Mariah asked, perplexed.  "You must have known you might get caught."

       Rose looked at Animal pleadingly.  He gave no sign but a hard stare. 

       She said at last, haltingly, "I knew Master Animal was working on a painting, the one of the picnic."  To Gabriel's blank look she continued, "The focal point is an oak tree with two trunks."  She closed her eyes, visualizing it, and spoke as if in a trance.  "One of the trunks is leaning, at such an angle that you think it's a wonder it stays up.  Beneath it is a slave boy, preparing the food, and you wonder if the tree will fall on him or not, and you see his face and you wonder if he would care.  And then you see a master, a fat man, sitting back against the straight trunk, and you wonder whether he is holding it up, and if it wouldn't fall over too if he stopped propping it up--or is it propping him up?"

       Animal's mouth was open with astonishment.  "Go on," said Gabriel encouragingly.  "Why did you lie to the mistress?"

       Rose took a deep breath.  "Master Animal said once that when he has to talk to Mistress Marge it's like a black cloud comes over him so he can't see to paint.  And he has to fight it, but whatever he works on for a while isn't very good."

       "That's true," Animal said sourly.  "Aunt Marge gives me indigestion."

       "And?" Gabriel asked Rose gently.

       Rose looked from Gabriel to Animal.  "This painting is good.  One of his best, I think," she said softly.  "There's more in it than I told you."  She closed her eyes, visualizing it, then opened them again.  "Some of his pictures only mean one thing, like a mistress is bored.  And some are more complicated, like a mistress is really interested but she's pretending to be bored, and you have to figure out why."  She started to speak quickly, the words tumbling out excitedly.  "And some try to say too much, or the colors are wrong, or they're too heavy, or just... wrong.  But this picnic picture--it's . . . " 

       Rose paused to think for a minute.  Then she looked at Animal, her eyes luminous.  "Well, it's wonderful. There's the plain picture, a picnic under a tree.  And a second meaning--is the tree going to fall?  And then what all the people in the picture are thinking.  But there's more, too--the tree means something other than a tree, and the people do too, and the master, I think he is fat like the Bearer because he is the Bearer, only master Animal can't come right out and say it, because of what it means.  And on top of that the colors are right and your eye moves over the picture and the clothes are just like people would wear."

       She took a deep breath.  "It's a painting that's more important than me." 

       In the silence that followed Rose fell to her knees in front of Master Animal again.  "Please, master, I know I must be punished but . . ."  Her voice broke. "Don't send me away." 

       For a moment Animal only stared at her.  Then he pulled her to her feet, gently this time, his hand under her arm, and he led her to the armchair.  He took a deep breath.  "Where...how...who taught you those things?  About painting?"

       Rose looked at Animal pleadingly.  "You did, Master.  When you let me I listen when you teach your students, and talk to the other artists, about color and balance, and you've taken me many times to the Museum.  I know you're really just talking out loud to yourself, not to me, but I listen, and I try to understand it the best I can."

       Animal's voice caught.  "But what about the other part of it, the symbolism, the tree standing for something else?"

       Rose was quiet for a minute, thinking.  At length she said, "You taught me that, too, or your pictures did.  I look at the fat man and I wonder why you would paint someone ugly?  And then I remember the Bearer is fat, and I wonder why you don't just paint him.  And I think about it and think about it.  And I come up with ideas, and if they seem right I keep them."

       Animal exhaled as if he had been punched in the stomach.  Rose threw herself full-length onto the floor.  "Forgive me, master," she said. She was shaking. Animal just stared at her, paralyzed.

       

       Gabriel said softly, "You say that no one in this place understands art, or cares about it.  And all the time Rose is under your nose.  Not a helpless child.  Not concerned only with sex and gruel.  She would die for your art."  He added disgustedly, "And you would kill her for it."

       Animal looked stricken.  "What have I done?" he murmured.

       "Something evil," Gabriel said darkly. 

       Animal turned to Gabriel like a pleading child.  "What do I do?"

       Gabriel shrugged and said coldly, "Ask her forgiveness.  Beg her for it like you've made her beg."

       Animal looked down at Rose, still at his feet, and gave a strangled sob.  Mariah snorted sarcastically.  Gabriel took her firmly by the elbow and led her towards the courtyard door.  But he stopped and looked back at Animal.  "If you ever lay a hand on her again, you know I'll . . . I'll . . ."

       "I swear it, brother," Animal said fervently.  But he was still looking at Rose as he spoke.

       Gabriel was still unsatisfied.  Indicating to Mariah to stay where she was, he walked over to Rose and sat next to where she still lay on the floor.  Mariah expected him to imitate her breathing.  But instead he touched the back of her head. "You don't have to stay with him," he said.  "You can come with me if you want." 

       Rose didn't lift her head.  The only acknowledgment that she heard Gabriel was a sniffle.

       Animal turned his back on them.  "Yes, Rose, the choice is yours," he said, his voice unsteady.  "Go with Gabriel if you wish."

       Rose struggled up to a kneeling position.  Her face was red and blotchy.  "You're sending me away?"

       "No!" Animal said.  "Never!  I'm giving you a choice.  Go with Gabriel, who would never think of harming you, who will protect you and help you.  Or stay with me.  I can only give you my word . . ."  He trailed off.

       Rose didn't hesitate.  She walked on her knees over to Animal.  "Please, master," she pleaded. "I want to stay with you." 

       "If that's true, Rose,"  Gabriel  said slowly, "then stand up.  He'll never ask you to kneel before him again.  He'll treat you with respect and kindness, as you deserve.  And if he doesn't . . ."  He looked meaningfully at Animal.

       Animal nodded.  He reached down and gently tugged Rose up.  "I should be on my knees before you," he murmured brokenly. 

       "This I've got to see," Mariah muttered from the doorway.  Gabriel turned and shushed her, and when he turned back Rose and Animal were standing forehead to forehead, crying. Gabriel led Mariah out of the room.        

       Flashback

       Mariah had been at the exchange for a couple of days now, the longest she had ever been there without a human claiming her.  Master Victor had looked at her speculatively, and she wondered whether he thought she had grown too long in the tooth to be a houseslave.  She shuddered.  She desperately did not want to go the farm, where she would be forced to breed.  But she knew if she was not chosen for what she was trained for that was the most likely outcome. 

       Master Victor was approaching now, with a human she did not know, trailed by Master Victor's boy Brewster.  Both of the humans looked frustrated.  She heard the man say to Master Victor, agitated, "I know it's the last minute, but the rag I intended to bring has appendicitis or some such.  Oddest thing when you pick someone for their utter lack of spirit and all of a sudden they start shrieking for no reason."

       Master Victor nodded.  "I hope I can help you, Cassender," Master Victor said.  "But this is a mansion exchange.  Those fit for the border don't generally end up here."

       The other man shrugged.  "The wagon's loaded and the horses waiting.  I'm determined to set out this morning."

       They continued past Mariah.  She reached out and touched Brewster, who was following behind.  "What's that about?" she asked softly.

       If Brewster was surprised that Mariah was initiating a conversation with him he did not show it.  "Master Cassender says he needs a limp rag, because the border can drive a slave with spirit mad."

       "The border?" Mariah asked.  "What's that?"

       Brewster rolled his eyes.  "The wall," he said to Mariah as if she were simple.  "It surrounds Riviera, and pens us all in.  If you go through to the other side of it . . . "

       The rest of his words were drowned out by the pounding of Mariah's heart in her ears.  "Will you send him back this way?  Without Master Victor?  Please?" 

       Without waiting for a response she walked several yards down the path and sat down.  She blankened her face as best she could, and stared at the middle distance.  "I am dead inside," she told herself over and over.  "Dead inside, dead inside, dead inside."  Her trap laid, she waited. 

       PRESENT DAY

       After Gabriel and Mariah left, Animal clung to Rose.  Thinking his grip might be too tight, he lowered his arms.  His fingers went to her lower back and he accidently brushed her wounds.  She stiffened. Animal felt sick.  He had done that.  He had done that to Rose.

       He shuddered and stepped back.  "I still have some comfrey from Gabriel.  I'll get it," he said hoarsely. He practically ran to his bedroom and fumbled through his top bureau drawer looking for the balm, dumping his socks on the floor as he did so.  Finding the right tin at last, he hurried back to the living room.

       He put the container into Rose's hand.  "Here," he said.  "Use this, Gabriel said last time . . ."  Last time Rose had been whipped by some stupid strangers having a laugh.  This time, he had done it.

       "Master, please, it's all right," Rose said softly.

       It was too much.  Animal slid to the floor, to his knees.  "I was so blind."

       "Please, get up," Rose begged. 

       She started to fall to her own knees in front of him, but Animal shook his head.  "You promised Gabriel you'd never kneel before me again," he said.

       "Then stand up, please, Master.  You don't belong down there." She abruptly shifted so she was sitting on the footstool where he had whipped her.  She winced at the contact with her cuts. 

       Animal didn't notice.  He shook his head again, and said, hoarsely,  "I do belong down here, until you forgive me."

       "I will if you get up,"  Rose said desperately.

       A gleam of hope lit in Animal's eyes.  He put his hands on her knees.  "A bargain, yes, a trade.  Tell me something I can do for you, to make up for what I did today."

       Rose sat mutely, staring at him.  "Anything," Animal prompted.  "Anything in my power."

       Rose was absolutely still for a minute.  Finally, she spoke so softly that Animal barely heard her.  "Master, will you let me . . . " 

       She stopped.

       "Anything," Animal said again, hoarsely.

       "Will you let me draw?"  Animal stared at her.  "Just once, please?"  She covered her face with her hands.

       Animal took a deep breath.  "If I let you draw, you'll forgive me?" 

       Rose shook her head behind her hand.  "I already forgave you," she said.  "Before you began.  I knew I deserved it."

       "No!" Animal said abruptly.  But he added, quieter, "This is no mindgame, Rose.  But I know it will  take time to convince you of that."  He stood up and gently pried her hand from her face.  "Come," he said.  He led her out the door and through the courtyard to his studio. 

       Flashback

       When Master Cassender almost tripped on Mariah she took no notice.  When he said, surprised to have overlooked her on his first pass through the Exchange, "Hello," she took no notice.  When he squatted down next to her she took no notice.  When he ordered her to stand up, standard position, she counted to five before obeying, spread her legs only a few inches and put her hands by her shoulders instead of behind her neck.

       He didn't bother ordering her to turn. Instead he walked around her. When he touched the fading whipmarks on her breasts, he asked, "What did you do to deserve these?"

       Mariah again counted to five before non-answering, "A slave always deserves punishment, Master."

       Master  Cassender sighed.  "How long were you with your last human?"

       Again Mariah forced herself to wait before answering.  "A few weeks, Master."

       Master Cassender sighed again.  Without warning he grabbed her nipples and pulled and twisted them.  Mariah willed herself not to cry out, to make no movement.  It seemed to go on and on, the pain crashing in her brain.  Her eyes watered.

       At last he stopped.  He turned to the group of houseslaves not far away and pointed to one who was not shackled.  "You, there," he said.  "Come here."  The boy came, and Master Cassender said to him, "I want you to fuck her.  You can come, but not until after she does."

       "May I use the bench, Master?"

       Master Cassender nodded.  The boy led Mariah to the bench.  Mariah was grateful that Master Victor had had her serviced a couple of hours earlier, so she was not desperate.  She made the boy do all the work and lay where he had placed her, like a lump.

       On the pretext of blowing in her ear, the boy whispered to her, "What are you doing?"

       He turned his own ear to her mouth.  Mariah whispered back, "Help me.  Don't make this too good." 

       The boy caressed her up and down. When she was slick but not quite ready for him he separated her legs and entered her. He put his thumb on her clit and pressed while he pumped inside her.  Mariah came after a few minutes, grunting, and the boy came just after her.  He rested for a moment, climbed off her, and fell to his knees before Master Cassender.

       Master Cassender dismissed him and turned to Mariah.  "You'll do, I guess," he said.        

       Present day

       The sunshine pouring in through the windows of his studio seemed incongruous to Animal.  He felt like he had lived a lifetime that day, but it was still early afternoon.

       Hastily he moved aside the easel with the painting he had been working on, the one of the picnic, and moved a spare easel to its place, attaching a stack of precious paper to it.  He fumbled for a few minutes in his storage area, searching for what he needed and placing it on the ledge below the paper.  He unfolded a card table that had been leaning against the wall.  Going back to his storage area, he haphazardly grabbed at some objects -- a watering can, a rag doll, an old smock.  He put the watering can in the center of the table and leaned the doll against it.  Wadding up the smock, he placed it a few inches away.  He stepped back, squinted, and moved the smock slightly. 

       All this time Rose had stood mutely, watching, her eyes big. Animal turned to her and led her to the easel.  "We'll start with black and white," he said.  "You've color sense enough, that's clear from . . . " He choked for a minute, but continued, "from how you present food, from your flower arrangements."  Rose blushed, and Animal continued, "But to depict the world, you have to translate your sight to your hand."

       

       Rose nodded.  She had heard this lecture many times.

       Animal picked up a stick of black charcoal he had put on the easel shelf and scribbled on the paper with it.  He showed her how to use the eraser to make shades of gray, and the lambswool shammy to spread the shading. He stood behind her and held her hand for her first strokes.

       "Master," Rose said tentatively, "may I use my right hand?"

       Animal shook his head.  "You want to start with your non-dominant hand.  It will help you access the creative part of your brain."

       "I know, Master," Rose said.  "But I'm left-handed."

       Animal blinked.  "Oh," he said.  "Of course."  He tore the first paper off the easel and wadded it up. 

       Rose shuddered at the extravagance but said nothing.  Reverently she held the charcoal in her right hand and put it to the page, trying to look at the still life Animal had set up instead of her paper, trying to draw it all at once instead of focusing on any particular part, as she had heard Animal lecture so many times. 

       Her first strokes were tentative, but that was to be expected, Animal thought.  She had never even held a pencil before.  He watched as the picture began to take shape, impressed that she brought in the surrounding area -- the table, the shelves against the wall, and not just the objects he had placed. 

       Animal removed the almost-finished picnic picture from his own easel and replaced it with a blank canvas.  From behind her, he began to paint Rose drawing. Rays of light from the window shone on her head,  making her look ethereal.  She was so beautiful.  Animal shook his head at the inadequacy of his words.  But he could paint her. 

       They both worked silently for a time.  Animal's brush flew over the canvas at first, but then he slowed to capture the light on her body.  As he began to add the angry red marks he remembered he had handed her the comfrey but she hadn't used it. 

       He strode out to his apartment to get it from the footstool where Rose had left it and ran back with it. He said her name softly.  She didn't hear him.  She was lost in concentration.

       He examined her picture.  Not bad for a first effort.  He could tell what most of the objects were, which was better than he could say for many humans' beginning pictures.  Humans?  Rose was human too.    

       Gabriel had been trying to tell him for so long.  Rose had too, in her own way.  Her interest in art was only the tip of it. He remembered when he first saw her, looking at his portrait of John and Rafaela's family.  She had been scared and beaten down, and yet there had been something incredibly appealing about her, some essence that made its way past her circumstances.  Bringing her home, he had told himself he felt sorry for her, but that wasn't so, or only partly so.  He had wanted her. For the way her eyes shone, almost magically, despite her shyness, when he talked to her. For her calming presence, for her quiet but outrageous competence, for her vulnerability. 

       After he brought her home, as she came out of her shell, he had wanted her even more. For the way she made everything in his life prettier, even though he pretended, to her, not to care.  For the way she listened to his lectures and looked at his pictures, even though he had pretended to her, to  himself, that her opinion did not matter.  For the way she sometimes revealed that she had thought about something deeply, even though he had pretended, to himself, to her, to Gabriel, the impossibility of it. Her boldness, so new.  Her sweetness, always.  

       He didn't mean to speak.

       "I love you," he said. 

       Rose turned.  "Master, may I turn this paper over?  I want to try contour drawing."

       Animal almost laughed out loud.  She hadn't heard him.  "Use as much paper as you want," he said.  And he went back to his easel and painted her as she drew, and he saw her, and through her he saw himself.  Selfish.  Willfully blind.  Sometimes cruel.  And yet, she had chosen to stay with him when she must know Gabriel could give her a safe haven. How could he ever be worthy of that?

          

       The sun was lower now, no longer making a halo in her hair but giving her skin a pink glow. If they had been in the revel room Rose would have left by now to start dinner.  He sighed.  First step to worthy, coming up.

       FLASHBACK

       Master Victor's eyes bugged out in surprise when Master Cassender came to check Mariah out of the Exchange.  "She's no rag," he said to Cassender.  "She's a housegirl.  Intelligent, from what I've seen.  Competent, by most reports."

       Mariah gave no indication that she had heard.  She stared at the ground.  "What are playing at?" Master Victor asked her.  Mariah didn't reply.

       Suddenly, yelling came from the houseslave section Mariah had just left.  Even Mariah looked up, briefly, but no one noticed.   Brewster came rushing up.  "Master, I couldn't stop them.  They're fighting over who their old mistress liked better."  Carefully coming between Mariah and the masters, he winked at her.  She nodded and looked back down.

       Cassender said, "You've got your hands full.  I'll just take her and be on my way."  Victor was already hurrying off.  Cassender buckled a collar onto Mariah, not too tightly, and attached a leash to it.  "Come, girl," he said.  Mariah let herself be tugged.        

       

       PRESENT DAY

       For the second time that day Gabriel burst into Animal's apartment, Mariah close behind him.  It was filled with smoke.  Gabriel rushed to the kitchen, where Animal was waving a towel over a flaming pan. 

       Gabriel grabbed two potholders from the drawer next to the stove and took the pan from the stove, dumping it into the sink where it could burn itself out.  Seeing that Animal still had the burner on, he turned it off.  "Open all the windows, and then let's get out of here," he said. 

       In the courtyard, Gabriel looked around suddenly.  "Where's Rose?"

       Animal pointed to his studio.  "Mixing your paints?" Gabriel asked with a frown.

       Animal shook his head.  "Drawing."  When Gabriel and Mariah stared at him, he shrugged.  "She wanted to." 

       Gabriel blinked, and then smiled slightly.  "And she wanted you to cook?"

       "I meant to surprise her," Animal said.  "That recipe book was still there, and I tried . . .  "  He trailed off.

       "That book's not for beginners, friend," Gabriel said.

       "So I gather," Animal said with a sour grin. 

       "You want to learn to cook?"

       Animal nodded.  Gabriel turned to look at the smoke that was still coming out of Animal's kitchen window.  "Hardly any ingredients in my kitchen."  He turned to Animal.  "Let me see what Rose stocked in yours." 

       Putting a handkerchief over his nose, he went back to the kitchen.  The burning pan was only a part of the mess Animal had managed to make.  The counter was covered with dirty dishes, half made food, and garbage, and the stove had three pots on it, none of which were in good shape.  At least Animal had kept the recipe book on a high shelf, where nothing had spilled on it.  Gabriel shuddered to think of the smoke damage to it, though.

       His eyes starting to sting, Gabriel opened the refrigerator and grabbed inside it almost at random.  He left as quickly as he could. 

       Animal followed Gabriel into his apartment, where he laid out the food he had grabbed on his counter.  "We'll start with something simple.  A nice soup.  Hard to mess up." 

       Animal  was able to fill the large pot with water without too much assistance. Chopping vegetables was more of a challenge, and Gabriel worried a bit about Animal's fingers.  Luckily, Animal was worried about them too and worked slowly.  

       Realizing he needed oil, he asked Mariah to fetch it from Animal's kitchen. While she was gone, Animal asked Gabriel how he had learned to cook. 

       "My father taught me," Gabriel responded, handing Animal a peeler for the carrots.

       "Was that after your mother died?" Animal asked.

       Gabriel shook his head.  "My father was always the cook. My mother was more likely to try to convince the eggs to get along with each other than to scramble them.  Made her a great magistrate, but not so great in the kitchen."

       They worked in silence for a minute.  Gabriel sighed.  "I miss cooking," he said.  "But Rose is territorial over the kitchen and she looks so longsuffering when I try to butt in."

       Animal scowled and reached automatically for his whip before remembering that it still lay on his living room floor and that everything was different now.  Expelling a breath, he looked out the window towards his studio.  "Maybe she'll be more inclined to share if she has other things to do with her time," he said.

       Mariah came in and handed Gabriel the bottle of oil.  When she did so Animal saw her left eye, bruised, swollen.  He touched her arm.  "Mariah, I'm . . . I'm sorry.  Truly. I didn't . . ."

       Mariah shrugged.  "Every slave deserves her punishment, Master."  She picked up the knife and began chopping celery. 

       Animal said, "Mariah, let me make it up to you.  Rose wanted to draw.  What do you want?"

       Gabriel's mouth quirked. "You want to bargain for my forgiveness, Master?" Mariah asked.

       Animal nodded. 

       Putting down the knife, Mariah ran her fingers through her hair.  "Anything, Master?" she asked.

       Animal nodded again.  

       "When the time comes, I'll tell you, Master."  She smiled at him blandly.

       Gabriel laughed out loud.  "My mother could have taught you a thing or two about negotiation, Animal," he said. He picked up a couple of onions.  "Will chopping these make you cry?"

       Animal shrugged.  "No idea," he said.  Again urging him to be careful, Gabriel demonstrated the proper technique and then retreated.

       Animal's eyes smarted, then burned.  He put down the knife with a curse and stumbled out of the kitchen. "Wash your hands twice and then go outside for some air," Gabriel advised him. 

       Animal came back in a couple minutes later and sat on the stool on the other side of the counter dividing the kitchen from the dining area.  He watched as Gabriel made short work of the onions, the knife dancing in his hand. "I whipped a girl once because she couldn't chop onions," Animal said softly.  "And then I sent her away."

       Gabriel stopped chopping. His silence made Animal more ashamed.  "She was my first housegirl after I moved out of my parents' apartment.  I didn't know then that some people just can't . . ."  He looked out to the courtyard, and across it to where Rose was.  "Her name was Lucia.  I didn't know that she . . ."  His eyes smarted again.  "If I had known I wouldn't have . . ."  He stood up.  "If I could find  her . . . ."  He sat down.  "It was years ago.  And there have been so many."  He looked to Gabriel. "What am I supposed to do?"

       Gabriel turned around and opened a cabinet. "You're supposed to remember what you did, and be ashamed, every day," he said.  Animal flinched.  Gabriel reached for a jar of salt and turned to face Animal again.  "And every day you're supposed to do whatever is in your power to make up for it, in how you live your life, how you treat others."  He put a pinch of the salt into the pot of water.  "But you can never undo the past."

       Animal stared at Gabriel, shocked out of his own self-absorption by the defeat in Gabriel's voice.  He said softly, "Brother, I don't think we're talking about me anymore."

       Gabriel shrugged and turned away again.  "We all have our histories," he said, too briskly.  "Come, I'll show you how to sauté vegetables.  The trick is in the heat of the pan."  Animal let Gabriel change the subject, but he wondered:  What was Gabriel atoning for?

       Flashback

       Master Cassender seemed to enjoy talking to Mariah.  Or to himself, more like, as she gave no indication that she heard what he said except to respond, slowly, to direct questions or commands.

       The hardest part for Mariah was to keep her eyes unfocused as they drove towards the wall.  She hadn't been this far from the mansion since she had worked the farm.  And then they kept going.  She managed to keep her head down, even as Master Cassender pointed out landmarks to her. 

       At a swimhole he stopped to rest the horses and to have sex. "I don't suppose you'd be much at blowjobs," he said, as he lay a blanket on the ground. 

       Mariah wished he would just get it over with.  But he was gentle and slow, suckling on her neck and breasts, slowly trailing his fingers down her body, finger fucking her until she was soaking.  "Open your eyes," he ordered her.  "Look at me."  She obeyed him as he entered her. "Good," he grunted.  He moved in and out of her, slowly, cupping her breasts with his hands, changing angles until he was hitting just the right spot. 

       She came with a cry, spasming on him, and still he moved in her.  She tried to look away, but he squeezed her breasts.  "No," he said.  "Keep looking at me."  She came again.  It was too personal.  Tears leaked out of her eyes.  "Good," he grunted, and released into her.

       

       Present day

       Gabriel handed Animal a spoonful of the stew.  Animal blew on it and tasted it.  "Good," he said.

       Gabriel smiled.  "Mariah, would you . . . "  He stopped.  "Where is she?" he asked Animal. His heart raced as he called her name again.  He couldn't remember when he had last seen her.

       Mariah stepped in through the sliding door to the courtyard.  "My lord?" she said calmly.

       Gabriel breathed out a sigh of relief.  "Were you with Rose?" 

       "No, Master," Mariah said, and did not elaborate.

       Animal rolled his eyes.  "I'll get her," he said.  He strolled past Mariah, across the courtyard and into his studio.

       Rose froze for a moment when Animal came in but then went back to drawing, almost in a frenzy.  She supported her right arm with her left hand, and rocked back and forth on her feet. 

       He stood behind her and looked at her easel.  She had filled almost all of the paper with individual sketches, different sizes, overlapping.  Some were of the still life Animal had set up with her, some of the flowering shrubs visible in the courtyard through the window, some of Rose's own hand.  None of them were particularly strong individually, but as a whole it made an interesting composition.

       There were other papers laid carefully on the floor.  Like the drawing on the easel, each sheet was filled with overlapping sketches.

 

       Rose had stopped drawing again.  She was facing him, but looking down.

       "What's wrong?" Animal asked her.

       Rose's voice trembled when she asked, "Master,. . . are they any good?"

       Animal started to say something banal, but he understood abruptly that she was asking not for platitudes but a real critique. 

       He slowly picked up the papers and placed them on the card table.  He looked at each one carefully. 

        "You're not in control of your proportions," he said slowly.  He pointed to the picture on the easel.  "There, you've got the doll bigger than the smock.  You see how that also throws the shadows off and makes the lighting seem strange?"  Rose nodded.  "But some of the placements are interesting," he continued.  "You have a sense of how space works on the page.  I think . . ." he looked again at the pages on the table.  "I think you may have some ability."

       Rose didn't say anything for a minute.  She was looking at the papers Animal had placed on the table, and touched one with her finger.  "Thank you," she whispered. She turned to him, and said, more strongly, "I'll never forget this afternoon, as long as I live." 

       "Nor I," Animal said.  

       Flashback

       As Master Cassender rested after they had sex, Mariah looked at him through half-closed eyes.  He was a handsome man.  The gray hairs interspersed with the brown ones gave him a distinguished look, and he was lean and strong. 

       He opened his eyes, and Mariah closed hers.  "Up," he said, nudging her with his toe.  Mariah counted to ten and then slowly stood, remembering to keep her shoulders stooped and her head down.

       Present Day

       Gabriel had just finished setting the table when Animal walked in with Rose.  Mariah carried the last bowl of soup from the kitchen.  "You see?" Animal said.  "We made dinner."  Mariah snorted at the pride in his voice.  Rose merely nodded and allowed Animal to lead her to her seat.  But she jumped up as soon as she sat down, the cushioning of the chairs not enough to protect her. 

       Animal froze.  "It's soup," he said rather stupidly.  "I helped Gabriel make it."  Rose nodded again, and sat down gingerly, wincing.  Gabriel handed her some bread.  She broke off a piece and dipped it in the soup, tasted it and put it back down.

       "You don't like it?" Animal asked anxiously. 

       "It's delicious, Master," Rose said somewhat rotely.  "It's just . . ."  She looked around the table.  "I'm tired."  Realizing what she had said, her eyes widened.  Her master looked unhappy but not angry.  She drank some water. 

       "Animal said you were drawing this afternoon," Gabriel said.  

       Rose smiled and nodded.  But before she could say anything Gabriel continued, "The stool must have hurt your backside."

       "I didn't use the stool, Master," Rose said.  "I just stood."

       "You must be exhausted," Gabriel said to Rose, frowning at Animal. 

       Rose made another effort to eat.  But after one swallow she put the spoon down and looked off into the middle distance. 

       "You'd better take her home, before she drowns in your soup," Gabriel said to Animal.

       "But she hasn't eaten.  I . . ."  Animal stopped.  "Of course.  Come, Rose.  I mean . . . "  He stopped again.  "If you'd like to go home now, I'll take you."  

       Rose stood.  "The dishes . . . " she said uncertainly.

       "Go," Gabriel said firmly.  He added, "Unless you'd rather stay with me. That offer will always stand."

       Animal scowled but waited for Rose's answer. She blinked and shook her head.  "Only if it pleases you, Master," she said, looking to Animal for approval.  He held at her hand to her and she took it, limping slightly as they crossed the room.

       When they entered Animal's apartment, Rose stopped suddenly.  "What happened, Master?" she asked.  "What's that smell?"

       Animal hit his forehead with his palm.  "The mess," he said.  "I forgot all about it."  Turning on the light, he glanced over to the kitchen.  The stench of smoke lingered but the kitchen had been cleaned.  Gabriel hadn't done it; they had been together the entire afternoon.  He remembered that Mariah had disappeared for a time.  He glanced back at Gabriel's apartment, then turned to Rose.  "I tried to cook," he said.

       Rose stared at him in surprise.  "Why, Master?"

       Animal shrugged.  "You were drawing.  I wanted to do something nice for you."

       "Nicer than letting me draw?" Rose gave a gurgling, incredulous laugh. 

       Animal shrugged again.  "Even the greatest artists have to eat," he said.  "And rest.  Come."  He led her to his bedroom, grateful that the door had been closed against the smoke.  "Lay on your stomach and I'll give you a foot rub." He stopped suddenly.  "Would you like that?" he asked gruffly.

       Rose blinked back her amazement.  "If it pleases you, master," she said.  She lay down.

       It took Animal a minute to find where Rose kept the massage oil.  He sat at the foot of the bed and slid over, putting her feet on his lap.  Rose mewled as he pressed his thumbs into her arches.  He had never done such a thing in his life. He had no idea that touching someone's feet could make him so hard.  He shook his head.  Not someone's feet, Rose's feet, and her soft sighs, and her legs on top of his. 

       After a few minutes he moved his hands up to her calves.  Rose tensed.

       "Am I hurting you?" Animal asked.

       "No, Master," Rose said softly.  "It feels so nice.  I'm afraid I'm going to fall asleep."

       "I want you to," Animal lied.  He continued his massage  until he heard Rose snore delicately.

       Animal thought about moving her foot a little closer, to press against him.  He would explode in his pants immediately.  Instead, he slid out from under her legs, changed into his nightclothes, and lay down on the other side of the bed with his back to her, wondering if he could possible fall asleep. 

       Flashback

       Master Cassender stopped the wagon.  Reaching under the seat, he pulled out a shackle and attached it to Mariah's ankle.  "So you won't be tempted," he said. Mariah held herself still.

       They came out of a stand of trees.  "Up ahead, that's the wall," Master Cassender said.  Mariah strained not to look up.

       The wagon turned right.  Mariah surmised that they were driving parallel to the wall.  If only they had turned left and she could see it without having to look past Master Cassender.

       At last Master Cassender turned again, reined in the horses and set the brake handle.  He unshackled Mariah and jumped out of the wagon.  Should she run?  Her eyes flicked up to see her master coming around to her side of the wagon.  She looked down quickly. 

       "Come," Master Cassender said to her.  Mariah counted to three before she slowly stood up and climbed out of the wagon, clumsy from sitting so long.

       Master Cassender led her to a cabin, barely more than a field shack.  There was a long chain bolted to the front porch. "Wrist or ankle?" Master Cassender asked Mariah.  She didn't answer.  Master Cassender shackled her ankle. "This gives you fifty feet in any direction," he said.  "Now, grab the blue sack from the wagon."  He wasn't surprised when Mariah merely stood there, but he sighed.  Unhooking the whip from his belt, he slashed her butt.  She jumped.  "Now," he said.  After counting to three, Mariah slowly shuffled to the wagon, picked up a couple of sacks of food, and carried them inside the cabin.  The room just inside the door had a kitchen area as well as a couple of armchairs.  She put the sacks down on the counter. 

       When she returned to the wagon, Master Cassender had unhitched the horses and was leading them to a paddock behind the house.  At last Mariah allowed herself to turn around, to look across the meadow that separated the cabin from the wall.

       Somehow Mariah had visualized it as a rock wall of the type that surrounded many of the fields.  She was wrong.  She didn't recognize the material it was made out of -- some kind of metal, maybe, because it was smooth and shiny, but there was no rust.  It was about fifteen feet high.  A twisted mass of barbed wire covered it, top and side.

       "Beauty, ain't it?" Master Cassender said at her elbow.  Mariah startled.  How long had she been staring?  She turned her back on the wall and took two more sacks from the wagon, but the vision of the barbed wire was burned into her mind.         

       Present day

       Animal woke before Rose, not sure if he was still hard or hard again.  He lifted up onto one elbow and watched Rose breathe softly in and out.  He wanted to touch her.  He mustn't touch her.

       Stumbling out of bed, he stepped on something soft.  Socks.  He had dumped them yesterday when he was searching for the comfrey in his bureau drawer. 

       The comfrey.  Which he still hadn't give to Rose.  He had left it in the studio.  He hurried to get it.

       When he returned, Rose was picking up the socks.  As he put the comfrey on top of the bureau she looked up at him with a smile.  Animal closed the bedroom door against the still lingering smell of smoke in the apartment.  He turned his back when he did so, so she would not see his tented pajama bottoms.  He cursed to himself.  Was Gabriel right that no harm would come from self-pleasure?  Because otherwise . . .

       "Can I serve you, Master?" Rose asked.  She had seen, then.

       "No!" Animal said, turning to her.

        "Forgive me, Master."  But Rose looked him in the eye as she said it.  Boldness.  And challenge.

       "No!" Animal said again, harshly.  This time Rose looked down.

       Animal raked his hands through his unkempt hair.  "Don't be hurt, Rose.  You can see how much I want you." 

       "You can have me, Master," Rose said softly.  "I'm yours." 

       "No!" Animal said for a third time. 

       Rose was confused.  "Is there someplace you need to be this morning, Master?"

       

       Animal crossed the room to look out the window instead of at Rose.  Deciding he was being cowardly, he turned to face her. "Gabriel says humans shouldn't have sex with slaves.  That they don't have the power to choose, that you can never be mine, not really."    

       Rose regarded him.  "Master Gabriel is wrong," she said. She gave Animal a look he had never seen in her before. Defiance. And then she took a step towards him. 

       Animal stepped back and bumped into the wall.  He shook his head.  He had to fight, for once in his life, to do what was right. 

       "I am yours, Master," Rose said again.

       "I don't want to rape you," he said.  "Gabriel says . . ."

       "You've never," Rose interrupted, protesting.  "You've always given me pleasure." 

       "You're trained to pleasure," Animal said sourly. "But can you tell me that never once have I fucked you when you didn't want to?  When you would have rather been sleeping, or . . . or . . . cleaning, or talking with Gabriel or Mariah . . . or just doing something other than being with me?  And you couldn't say no?"  He sat on the bed and covered his eyes with his hand.

       Rose didn't answer at first.  Then she said, slowly, "There have been a few times when it was hard to do my duty."  Animal felt her sit next to him.  She continued, "But right now, I want you."  She added, with unexpected bitterness in her tone, "Who is Master Gabriel to say I can't have you?  That we can't have each other?"  And she put her hand on his inner thigh.  "Unless you don't want me?"

       Animal knew he was lost.  But he managed to stand up, to take a step away from Rose.  "Promise me," he said hoarsely.  "Promise me that if ever you don't want me to touch you, that you'll say so."

       Rose stood up as well. "I promise, Master." 

       "And that if ever I do something that you don't like, that you don't want to do, that you'll tell me." Animal was still walking slowly backwards as he said this. 

       Rose had been matching his steps, but she stopped. Suddenly shy, she said, "I like in when you let me be in charge, Master."

       Animal wondered whether it was possible to come with no more stimulation than softly spoken words.  He took a deep breath to steady himself, and tried to think of the least arousing thing he could.  Chickens squabbling over feed.  Yes, that was better.  He clasped his hands behind his back and said to Rose, "As you wish."  He was pleased that he sounded relatively calm.

       Rose's breath hitched.  Chickens, Animal thought.  Chickens, turkeys, robins, anything.  And then Rose was taking small steps towards him, and pushing him gently but firmly back farther, until he bumped into the closed door.  She unbuttoned his pajama top, and put her mouth on his chest. The pleasure came on so strongly that it made Animal dizzy.

       Rose worked her way slowly towards his middle, untying Animal's pajama bottoms and pulling them down.  Animal stepped out of them and kicked them away.  Rose nudged his legs apart. And then with one hand she was cradling his balls and with the other hand she was grasping the base of his penis.  And he was inside her mouth.

        "Stop," he managed to groan.  "I don't want to come like this.  I want to pleasure you."

       Rose pulled back, and loosened her grip on his penis, but her hand under his balls massaged them gently.  "I want you to come like this, Master," she said.  "I want you to come in my mouth.  And then after you have your strength back, I want you to last inside me for a long time."

       "You promised Gabriel that you wouldn't kneel for me ever again."  They may have been the most difficult words Animal had ever spoken.

       Rose looked down at herself, on her knees, and then back up at Animal.  She ever so slightly increased the pressure on his balls. "He isn't here," she said.  She put her mouth around him again. 

       Her hands massaging him, grasping him, her mouth surrounding him, her tongue.  Oh, her tongue.   

       She drew him in and Animal thrust forward into her hands, into her mouth.  He  exploded, fireworks going off in his head.

       When at last he softened, Rose disentangled herself from him, stood up and led him to the bed, where he collapsed.  "Oh, Rose," he said, closing his eyes.         

       He was sure he had only rested for a few minutes.  Or had it been hours?  Rose was holding his hand.  He turned his head -- he had the energy for that--and she was lying on her side, looking back at him.  She smiled.  "I like it when you let me be in charge, Master," she said again.

       Animal's post-orgasm lethargy disappeared. "I don't think that's all you like," he said.  He moved her hand to his mouth and sucked her finger in.  That sound she makes, not a gasp, not a sigh.  He tried another finger.  That sound again.  He kissed her palm.  Slowly he nibbled his way up her arm, and then to her shoulder. And then his mouth was on her nipple, but he was only teasing her, little soft kisses.  Rose tried to push up into him, for more pressure, but he pulled back.  "You want more?" he asked.

       "I do, Master," Rose said, and then Animal's mouth was on her lips. 

       He pushed her onto her back continued to kiss her while his hands wandered back to her breasts and then lower.  Her soft cries as he felt her slickness made him hard again.  She pulled him onto her.  Her hands were on his buttocks, and then in his crack, her finger touching has asshole.  He pulled away from her.  "Too much," he grunted. "You said you wanted me to last inside you." 

       Rose moved her hands higher, to his lower back.  He kissed her again and kept kissing her while he entered her.  When she did not come immediately he changed his angle so that his penis rubbed against her clit as he pumped in and out of her as slowly as he could.  Then she was crying out, spasming against him.  He fought to control himself, to make it last, and she came again. 

       Animal lifted his head away from hers and gritted his teeth as her third orgasm massaged him. He was determined to give her as much pleasure as she could stand.  He looked down at her.  Her face was in a grimace, her lips pursed into an O shape.  Her eyes fluttered open.  "I love you too, Master." It was a cry and a gasp and a groan.  She thrust herself up against him.  Animal let go and Rose, the world, tumbled around him.