Lady Emily's Guardian

Lady Emily’s Diary

3 June, 18—

Our little routine here at Wainwright Hall was disrupted by the arrival of a guest. My dear little Alice Shelton has come to visit us! I cannot believe that the dear girl, whom I have known since she was a little precocious girl of 10, is now 18, and finished with her schooling. Though we have been in frequent correspondence, and have seen one another at least twice a year since she went off to school, I still could not believe that the lovely young woman who came into our parlor this afternoon was really her.

My young friend looked quite smart in her traveling dress and hat as we sat down for tea. Rebecca and I had been playing with the children, and when my guest arrived, the dutiful nanny had scooped them up (after Auntie Alice had the chance to give them each a little kiss) and led them up to the expanded nursery. “I cannot believe how big the children are getting,” Alice remarked. “Little Avery looks just like his father.”

“Indeed he does,” I said proudly. Yes, my little boy is the image of his father, through and through. And dear little Charlotte looks more and more like her Auntie Alice each day. All three of my young children are lovely, as is my little Mina, a teenager herself now. She is on holiday with the family of a school friend, and will be joining us at the end of the month. I do miss my girl, but she is as independent as ever. As long as she remembers to write (and she does not often forget to keep in touch with me), I am at least assured.

Alice and I talked for a while about her family, her sister Bernadette’s upcoming wedding, and we talked a bit about Tatiana, who is currently in bed (by orders of Dr. Yates) as she approaches the end of her fourth pregnancy. Her children have all been born healthy and well, thank goodness, and though her current pregnancy has not been accompanied by any especial complications, she is carrying twins. Alice had been to see her just this morning, and reported that the poor dear could hardly move under the weight of her belly. “She’s very impatient. You know how active she’s always been,” Alice said simply, only hinting slightly to her sister-in-law’s activities.

I do wonder how much Alice knows of all of our sexual activities. Certainly she is not a stupid girl. After all, she lived adjacent to a whorehouse for several years. But it is not something that she and I have ever discussed…at least, not yet. I’m sure that my husband, for one, would say that it is time to have such a discussion with her, as she is now a grown woman, and very sexy herself.

I do blush to admit it, but Alice is so lovely. I do adore her; in fact, I love her very much and regard her as my very dearest friend. Though I feel a motherly protectiveness over her, as I always have, there is a part of me…a very strong part, and growing by the minute…that desires her. My dear husband, who knows me so well, is aware, and this evening he began to gently encourage me to seduce her. “It would not be very difficult,” he observed. “She is devoted to you.”

True, which gives me pause. I do not wish to manipulate her feelings for me. I know that she adores me as well, has always looked up to me, and I’ve always tried to be a good role model for her. I do not wish to do to her what Lydia Morrison did to me. I do not want to exploit her longing for affection for my own pleasure. My sweet Alice is like me in so many ways, intelligent but very trusting, and like myself, has lost so much. I’d never do a thing to hurt her.

I must pause in my writing; I snuck up for a private moment before sitting down to a late dinner with Alice and my husband. We had invited Daniel to join us, but he is very devoted to his invalid wife, and when he is not at the office he is right by her side. Joseph would be with us, no doubt, but that he is currently in London for an “extended stay.” He writes to me that he is happy there, that he has found a new love…he is too shy to write very many details, so I cannot wait to see him again and hear all of his good news. If anyone deserves happiness, it is my dear friend Joseph.

I am off to supper, then. Goodnight!

16 July, 18—

My husband has done the strangest and most wonderful thing. I cannot even begin to think of what a generous, loving man he is, and surely I do not deserve all of the kindness that he gives to me. How does he know me so well? How can he see what is really in my heart? He has always been able to do this.

For a while, my husband’s amazing ability to know me completely frightened me, as I had thoughts that I wanted to keep from him (particularly with regards to Lydia Morrison), for when he knew these, they would hurt him. But since we have been together again for these years, he has not judged me for my thoughts or desires, not once, and now he wants to give me what I have truly, secretly wanted. Such a dear man! I know that I have been dealt my share of bad luck, but I cannot deny that I am so very fortunate to have him. I am gladder than I have ever been that I gave myself to him, all those years ago (our sixteenth wedding anniversary is approaching very soon, I can hardly believe it!). He deserves my all, and no less, and I do try so hard to be worthy!

I must explain. It should be no surprise that Alice and I have become intimate. My husband, though wishing for it to happen, did not instigate it. No…during dinner that first night when Alice came to stay with us, he behaved himself, and was thoroughly charming and not at all naughty. He even dismissed himself not long after supper. “Your brother and I have a very busy caseload, and I am taking on as much as I can so that he can see to his wife,” he explained to Alice by way of apology. “Dear,” he addressed me, “I will see to the little ones and dismiss Rebecca for the evening. Goodnight, ladies.”

I was surprised by my husband’s hasty departure, as he is often as eager as I to socialize, but I was grateful to have more time alone with Alice to talk. Especially when the subject of her future plans came up. “So, dear, you graduated at the top of your class,” I commented proudly. “You have not told me what your plans are for university.”

An eager look came into Alice’s eyes; she’d been waiting for this. “Well, Mrs. Singer,” she said (addressing me as she always had, which is somehow a comfort to me), “I wish to follow in my brother Danny’s footsteps and go to Cambridge. I have been accepted.”

“Oh, my dear, why haven’t you told me?” I asked, but I was very happy for her indeed. She admitted that she wasn’t sure if she could afford to go. Ah! I read her completely then; she’d come to ask for the money for school, knowing that her brother, though he was making a generous salary as my husband’s partner, would now have a wife and five children to care for. I scolded her lightly. “Alice, my dear, you do not ever have to ask me for favors. You are my friend, dear, and I am happy to get you anything that you need. Your tuition must be paid? It is done…no, dear,” I said, smiling as she tried to protest, to negotiate some terms of repayment, “Don’t you dare even think of trying to pay me back. The money is nothing to me; it will not make a dent in my fortune, I assure you, and I am always happy to help.”

Alice stared at me in wonder. “Mrs. Singer, you really are the kindest, most generous…”

“Please,” I said, flushing, “Don’t say that. I am very, very fortunate. It is my responsibility to help others.” That is something that my dear Mr. Singer has always taught me (though even he has been surprised at how far I have taken his lesson at times).

Alice knew that her praise would only fluster me, and so she settled back in her chair. “Thank you, Mrs. Singer.”

“You’re welcome, my dear,” I said. And we began to chat pleasantly about her excitement to begin school, about what she would study. I briefly imagined her meeting boys (she, like my Mina, attended an all-girl’s school, though I doubt that her exposure to young men has been limited), perhaps finding a nice young man to marry. I still have such thoughts, for she is not my property, she is not my pet, only my lover and friend, and she will still be leaving me to pursue these dreams. I only wish her all the best.

Well, that night our talk did not turn sexual, though we did stay up quite late, simply talking. We have always been able to do so, even when she was a young girl. My darling Mina, who is a young woman herself, does not have the patience to sit and talk on, and so we bond in other ways. It feels very nice to regard Alice as a friend and an equal…and now, of course, as a lover.

I’ll explain how it all came about. When I bade Alice goodnight and showed her to her room, I went to the nursery and found my husband sitting alone with the sleeping children. I was surprised to see him, reading by the light of a single candle, and he looked at me as I quietly entered, smiling. “I knew you would come in here first.”

“Sir, is something the matter?”

My husband was surprised by my startled look. “Why, no, Emily, nothing is the matter at all. I could not sleep, so I thought I would sit in with the children and wait for you.” He smiled, as I’m certain that a look of relief came to my face. He can read me so easily, though again, I hardly feel the need to hide anything from him anymore. He stood and came to me, putting his hands on my waist. “Let’s go into our room and have a talk.”

And so, as we were naked in our bed together, he touched me softly and convinced me to go after Alice, to seduce her into playing our little games. “I know you want to do it, Emily,” he teased me, tracing a gentle finger over my hard nipple. “So to cast aside any hesitation, I order it to be done. And so you must.”

I giggled, for no other logic that he could have presented would have been more sound. “Yes, sir.”

“Good girl,” he praised me, and that settled the matter for the time being, and he tied me up and had me the way that he likes best.

Though I had my master’s orders, I still could not think of how to bring up the subject with Alice. But the very next day, I was inspired with an idea. She and I were walking alone on the grounds of Wainwright Hall, enjoying a comfortable summer afternoon while Rebecca saw to the napping children. She and I were talking about travel, and I mentioned that, besides excursions to London and to the Shelton home, I had not gone anywhere since that disastrous trip to St. Tropez.

“Mrs. Singer,” Alice asked, “You’ve been to so many places. Do you ever grow restless at home?”

Had anyone else, even my dear loving husband, asked me such a question, I would have quickly denied it. But with Alice, I could be honest as I said, “Sometimes. There are still places I wish to go, but the children are so little still. But you know, more than actually seeing new places and meeting strange people, I miss the anticipation of getting to a new destination. The traveling…I used to enjoy it so much.” I had never even had these conscious thoughts; they just came forth. Alice is able to extract secret truths from me, somehow.

I continued, “While you’re still young, and unwed, you should go out and see the world. In fact,” I said, suddenly forgetting my goal with a new inspiration, “Perhaps you might want to spend the summer traveling abroad? I’d be happy to set you up with…”

“Oh, no, thank you, Mrs. Singer,” Alice hurriedly cut me off, flushing. “I do want to travel, but…I’d really just like to spend the summer with family.” She slipped her hand into mine, smiling shyly, and I said nothing more of her leaving.

I added, “I do stay occupied. The children keep me very busy, then there’s Mr. Singer to see to, and we do have a busy social calendar. I’m afraid that you’ll be subjected to a number of parties while you’re here.”

“I certainly wouldn’t mind,” Alice said. I had another idea, one that I knew she could not refuse: I offered to host a debutante ball in her honor. “Oh, Mrs. Singer, that would be wonderful,” she said, flushing again.

“I can have one ready in short order,” I said. “It’s a busy season, but we can host your party in a couple of weeks. Oh, it’ll be very good timing, there are fragrant flowers in bloom in the garden this time of year, it’ll be the perfect time for an outdoor party.” And we talked on about the plans for her party, while in the back of my mind a different plan was forming.

Just as my master schemed to claim me on my birthday, so I intended to seduce Alice on the night of her debutante ball. I would not claim her by trickery or deceit, which my dear Mr. Singer used on me (and bless his heart, I was such a shy little thing that no other method would have been effective). No, I would simply share with her my intentions, and if she rejected them, well…

I was terribly afraid that she would reject me, that she would be shocked and repulsed by my advances. I was mostly afraid that she would feel compelled to play along, as I had been so generous to her. I certainly did not (and do not) want her to feel obligated to be with me. On the night of the party, as I played the smiling hostess for all of our friends and neighbors (and many eligible young men for Alice), I was still anxious about how I would bring up the subject.

My husband, of course, read me clearly. He was privy to all of my plans, and he knew that I was feeling less than confident. He tried to distract me as we stood watching the young dancers. “This puts me in mind of your debutante ball,” he said softly in my ear. “I was in agony that night. All those young men…I was already in love with you.”

My husband is still the center of my world. I looked at him then, and noted, as I frequently do, how very handsome he is. His hair, though it continues to grey, is as thick as ever, and I do love to run my hands through it. The lines on his face are deepening, but it makes his face appear even stronger than ever. When he looks at me intently with his deep eyes, everything is so clear. One such look from him and a squeeze of his big hand holding my small one were enough to calm my nerves.

The party ran very late, and when the last of the guests departed, I was afraid that little Alice, who had danced and flirted all night, would be eager to go to bed. But no; she smiled at me with a look of renewed energy. “Oh, Mrs. Singer, it was so wonderful! Thank you.” She kissed my cheek softly, a familiar gesture, but the brush of her lips was so warm and soft…

I took her hand. “We may leave the cleaning for the servants in the morning. Come, join me and Mr. Singer in the study for one more glass of champagne.” Alice eagerly followed me into the house, and my husband, anticipating us, already had a bottle opened in his office.

“Well, Alice,” he said conversationally as he handed her a glass, “Are there any young men whom you are interested in?”

Alice flushed only a little at my husband’s forward questioning. Though her relationship with him is not nearly as close as ours, they certainly are friends, and she is not unfamiliar with his sometimes blunt ways. “They were all very nice,” she said evasively. Knowing that such an answer was unsatisfactory, she added, “Do you know Thurston Mangrich?”

“Why, yes,” I said, “he is Mrs. Phillips’s nephew.” Of course, I knew the names of each of the attendees, whether or not I had previously made their acquaintance, and I knew their connection with the people in our county. My husband laughs at my little talent for names all the time.

Flushing more, Alice admitted that she found him very interesting. “He’s starting his third year at Cambridge, and we’ve already made arrangements for him to show me about the campus.”

I expressed happiness at her success, but I felt dejected. Would I never have my chance with her? Had all of my hoping and planning been for naught? My husband glanced at me briefly, and easily understood my feelings, and in his way, he expertly steered the conversation. Alice, light-headed with drink, laughed and answered my husband’s questions about any previous involvement she may have had with boys in school.

“I was a good student,” Alice said, her tone only lightly defensive as she smiled and took another drink of her champagne. “Some of the girls in the dormitory liked to sneak out at night and go into the village to see the young men at the pub…I did not often join them.”

“Often?” My husband grinned at Alice, and I saw that same glint in his eye. Oh, he was luring her in, how could he always do that? I could not help smiling.

Alice looked at me, and seeing my smile, continued on in her same casual tone. “Sometimes, I would go out with my friends. It was mostly innocent, you know, a little dancing and just a little drinking.”

“Just dancing?” My husband’s tone was a bit more serious now.

“The other girls often took boys out back…there were stables behind the pub…and, well…” She did flush again. “I’m sure that you can surmise the rest.”

“You never spent any time alone with a young man?” Such a personal question, but my husband asked it in such an off-hand way. He asked it in a way that seemed so careless, but looking at him, I wondered how Alice could refuse to answer.

She didn’t. “There was one,” she admitted, having taken another drink. “A young man who had come into the village with his grandfather for farming supplies. He was a country boy through and through, but very sweet.” She looked at me again and added, “He reminded me a bit of Joseph, I suppose, just a little bit naïve, or I should say that he appears to be that way.” I knew what she meant; Joseph and his twin brother Daniel are both so boyish in appearance it makes them seem so safe and innocent. In many ways, both of them are safe, though certainly not innocent or naïve. I nodded and smiled, and she continued. “I was at the pub with my girl friends, and he came in alone. My friends and I were receiving the attentions of some eager young men from the adjacent boys’ school, but…well,” she admitted, “I suppose that those boys are not really my type. So foppish, you know…”

My husband had to laugh at that. “You’re quite right about that, my dear,” he said, for the boys’ school adjacent to hers was his own alma mater. “We were more than a little pampered there, it is quite shameful.” To me he added, “Your father and I were able to break those habits during our adventures in Africa.”

“Undoubtedly you are quite manly, sir,” I said, wearing a grin of my own, for this fun conversation had turned my mood right around. I said to Alice, “So this rugged young farm hand must have been an interesting sight.”

“Oh, indeed,” Alice said, flushing again. “He quite reminded me of a boy that I had a little crush on, back when Joseph and I lived among the migrant workers in California. He was wearing what must have been his nicest shirt, though the cuffs and collar were more than a bit frayed, and he had these big, strong shoulders…” It was so strange and thrilling to see that look in Alice’s eyes, for she had clearly been turned on by this strong young man, and the memory of him excited her as well.

Somehow, her hand slipped into mine, and she had slid closer to me on the couch (my husband, perching more than sitting, in one of the arm chairs) as she continued her story. “He sat down at the bar, away from our little party, and I…well, I don’t know what came over me, but I stood right up and went right over to him. We started talking…his name was Samuel, Sam, and he told me all about how he lived and worked on his grandfather’s farm, how his grandfather was very successful, but had been unable to pass his land on to any of his sons as they had both died. Sam and his mother lived on the farm, and Sam’s life had but one course to follow…to take over the land upon his grandfather’s passing.” A wistful look came to Alice’s eyes for a moment. “I pitied him. After he’d had more than a couple of pints, he admitted to me that when he came to town with his grandfather, he liked to come into the pub and see the school boys. He wanted so badly to go to school, to have a chance to do anything other than what he’s being forced to do.”

“Poor thing,” I murmured, for to some extent, I can relate to his plight (not that I would ever say that I did not want the life that I was given, that it was not truly my destiny), and Alice squeezed my hand.

“So we talked, and I told him a little bit of my experiences, and he found it so interesting. Sam had never been anywhere, really, not even to London. I thought about him the other day after our conversation,” she admitted to me. “What it would be like to never go anywhere…I cannot imagine.

“The crowd in the pub became very loud and boisterous as the other students drank more and more, wanting to get as drunk as possible before having to sneak back to their dorms.” I wondered briefly if Mina, such a young girl still, would ever partake in such activities at her school. Undoubtedly the opportunities exist…I still have not been able to bring this topic up with her, though I know she would speak with me honestly.

Alice went on to explain that she and Sam left the pub. They did not go to the stables, which would be crowded with other young couples, but walked along the streets, then out onto a country road leading back to her school. He walked her all the way back to the gates, where she knew to sneak in, and they talked quietly the whole way. Before he helped her over the fence, he kissed her softly. “It was awkward, and we both stank of beer,” she admitted with a sigh. “But it was a sweet kiss, and he was a nice boy.”

“Was that the last of him?” Mr. Singer asked, not too eagerly.

“We met one more time, a few months later,” Alice said. “Every time I ventured out with my friends, I hoped to see him. When he finally appeared, looking just as I remembered him, I thought I was imagining him at first. But he smiled over at me, and I approached him again, and we got to catching up.

“We did not stay at the pub very long. We took a walk, but instead of going back to my school, we went to the small house that his grandfather owns in the village, for his stays there were frequent. He revealed that his grandfather was out with friends, and we went upstairs…I didn’t imagine before that moment that I would really do that, with him, but it happened so naturally, I didn’t even think about it, and…” She smiled, and blushed deeply. She put her free hand to her burning cheek while continuing to grasp mine in the other.

“That was only a few months ago,” Alice admitted. “Last autumn. I never did see Sam again. When we were finished, he took me up on the rooftop. It was a cool night, and the sky was so bright and clear, and we just sat together, and we didn’t say anything. I think we’d already said everything necessary.” The wistful look came to her eyes again. “He walked me back to school, and that was that. Perhaps I…I was trying to avoid him, because I hardly went out at all for the rest of the year. I don’t know why…I would think of him sometimes, wonder how he was doing. I never heard from him, and I would not have known how to get in touch with him.”

I stroked Alice’s hand comfortingly. Mr. Singer comforted her by saying, “Your story sounds like a typical tryst for a young lady to have. You’re not ashamed, are you?”

“Oh, no,” Alice said, with no hesitation. “It isn’t anything to be ashamed of…isn’t that so, Mrs. Singer?”

And the conversation continued from there. Alice revealed that she knew of some of our sexual activities, which I had always suspected. “The church always said that such things were wrong,” Alice said. “But…but if Mrs. Singer does those things, and she is such a good person, then it couldn’t be wrong, could it?” It seems that, though she’d grappled a bit with her morality after her encounter with Sam, she had come to her conclusion quite easily. It was not shame in her desires that caused her to avoid Sam. That, she could not easily name. She knew that she had not loved him…the feelings that she did have for him were much more difficult to identify.

“But that is in the past now, I suppose,” Alice said. “And I really am more eager to become better acquainted with Thurston Mangrich.”

“Not a foppish fellow, is he?” my husband asked, a look of amusement in his eyes.

“I daresay not,” Alice said. “He’s a country boy himself, though a wealthy one at that. He’s very smart. I hate nothing more than making a clever remark to a man and having it go right over his head. I don’t have such awkward moments with him.”

My husband and I both briefly nodded in agreement, and as I fretted over what to say next, my husband asked a rather shocking question. “Alice, I’ve always been a little curious, so if you’d please indulge me…?”

Alice gave him an inquisitive look. “Certainly.”

“You and your school friends,” he said. “Did any of you ever…you know…play together, in the privacy of your dorms?”

I held my breath in anticipation of Alice’s response, for it would determine all. To my very great relief, she laughed loudly. “Mr. Singer,” she said, “Why should I not be surprised that you would ask me such a question?”

“Because you know that I am a dirty old man, Alice.” I giggled and flushed as my husband threw me a wink. “Out with it. Tell us all, we’re all friends here.”

Alice sighed, smiling brightly, though her cheeks were colored as well. “I was shocked by some of it at first, but…I came to figure that it was perfectly normal. You know, the ‘practice’ kissing and the touching under the covers…again, I came to see that there was nothing truly wrong with it, it just isn’t something that people discuss. I mean,” she said, laughing a little, “Unless they’re talking with the Singers, of course.” Her grip on my hand tightened.

“Alice,” I said, “How did you feel, kissing and touching the other girls in the dorm?” She was very close to me then. It would have taken very little physical effort on my part to lean forward and kiss her.

The laughter was gone from her voice as she answered me. “I felt very safe with the other girls,” she confessed as she looked into my eyes. “It should be understood, Mrs. Singer, that I shared a room with three other girls. All of us became extremely close. You even met them at my graduation, do you remember my little group of friends?”

“Of course,” I said, and I could clearly see them in my mind’s eye, a small group of bright, beautiful young women, ready to go out into the world and get what they could out of it. They seemed like sweet girls, and I could see that Alice had been very happy with her friends at school. Again, something that I missed out on was forming such very close relationships with other girls. The closest that I came was my dear Tatiana, and our little explorations didn’t begin until after I was married. I felt a small amount of envy for my little friend Alice, that she could have already experienced so much, but…well, I remember again my dependency on my husband, how happy he makes me. I cannot have it all, that is certain, and I have come to accept it. But I do have so much.

And that night, I finally had Alice. Offering up more champagne, my husband continued to encourage the conversation, asking Alice about her little friends, asking what they had done together, and very soon, she was demonstrating for him with my aid. I slowly removed her white debutante gown, my fingers trembling with excitement as my mind was reeling. My dear little Alice, my innocent friend, was not only was not a virgin, but had already had several encounters with other young ladies. I look at her and smiled approvingly, and her look was so eager that she certainly reminded of myself yet again. My dear, lovely Alice!

I barely caressed her naked breast as I looked into her eyes. “Oh, Alice,” I whispered. “You know that I do love you very much, don’t you, dear?”

“Of course, Mrs. Singer,” she said. “I love you, too.”

“May I kiss you, Alice?”

I was startled to see the tears that sprang in her eyes, but her next words were just what I’d imagined her saying in my sweetest of dreams. “Oh, Mrs. Singer,” she said, laughing even as her tears flowed, “You may do anything that you want to me.”

I leaned in and kissed her softly. She tasted very sweet, her lips were so soft and her tongue was so graceful. She certainly knew what she was doing there. I could not resist leaning in and kissing her neck, and I felt her breathe in sharply. I reached out and grasped her breasts; her little tits are just the right size for my little hands to squeeze, but gently. I played with her nipples as I continued to kiss her neck and mouth.

We were interrupted briefly by my husband when he said, “Lady Emily, do take off your gown, please.”

I tore myself away from my new lover and gave my husband a smile. “Yes, sir.” As Alice helped me from my gown, I said, “You know that I am my husband’s property, don’t you?”

Alice looked at me a little uncertainly, but did not stop helping me undress. “I know that…um, well…” She had some grasp of our situation, but did not understand what it meant for her.

I smiled at her gently. Now naked myself, I took her hands and placed them on my breasts (small now, and I am beginning to fear that they will never swell with milk ever again…). “You may touch me here,” I said. I slid her hands down to my waist. “And here, certainly.” Further down, to my ass. “You may play with my ass as well. But you must understand that my pussy…it is his alone, and no one else’s. And he must always watch and be present whilst we play.”

“All right, Mrs. Singer.” She seemed to understand this, and did not question it. Though now, thanks to my dear loving husband, one of his rules (at least in her case) is now irrelevant…I will explain that in a moment.

“Alice,” I said, “Did any of your girlfriends at school ever eat your pussy?”

Alice flushed again, mostly to hear such terms come from me. “Yes,” she admitted. “Not very often, but one of my roommates and I…her name was Nelly…would occasionally play like that together.”

My husband cut in, “Alice, I give you my guarantee that my wife has an extraordinary talent for giving pleasure to others. Will you allow her to do so for you?”

From the way her face lit up, I could tell that nothing would please her more. I advised her to lie back on the couch. “Just relax, Alice, and spread your legs for me, dear…so lovely.” Her little cunt was well-groomed, and I could see that she was very tight. I could also see the little bud of her clit, slightly engorged, eager for some attention, which I provided. I leaned in and darted out my tongue, lapping at her clit while she shuddered.

I went slowly and gave as much careful attention to Alice as possible. I’ve never left a lover unsatisfied, but no one else but my husband has received such dutiful attention from me. I teased her pussy lips before penetrating her with my tongue, kissing her cunt as I had kissed her mouth. I gradually increased the rate of tongue thrusts as her groans and cries urged me on. She got to begging, which turned me on most. “Oh, Mrs. Singer, please…let me come, Mrs. Singer, oh, God!”

I’d never deny pleasure to my little Alice, and I teased her clit roughly while shoving two fingers into her. I felt her body tense up in anticipation, which released in a lovely spastic burst. Alice cried out for me wordlessly, and as I cleaned away her juices, she panted, “Thank you, Mrs. Singer…oh, God, thank you.”

I sat up and my husband (his cock visibly hard in his trousers) brought me his handkerchief to wipe my mouth. He kissed me briefly, smiling as I trembled. Alice soon replaced him, and she kissed me hungrily, so eager to show her appreciation. But, though I was turned on, there was no way of allowing her to do so...but my husband had an idea for including her in our playing.

Alice and I, both still naked, held each other while my husband explained our use of restraints and implements of punishment. This was a bit more of a surprise to young Alice than the rest of it. “Did your brothers or sister-in-law ever tell you about our nasty games?” he asked.

Alice shook her head. “Tatiana’s told me a little…but never the details.”

I stood and turned to show her my bare backside. “Do you see all of these scars and marks, Alice?”

“Oh, Mrs. Singer!” she gasped. “They are ghastly.”

I laughed softly, for I have long since stopped worrying over my marred back. My husband strokes my scars affectionately, and says that they tell the story of my tumultuous love life. “The worst of them are from Mrs. Smithwick,” I explained. “She was very brutal. My husband is more gentle, and gives me just as much pain as I want.”

“Want?”

I nodded and sat with Alice again. “Ever since I was a young girl, I’ve craved punishment,” I said. I giggled and made a confession, one I have never told anyone. “I used to be tempted to break Mr. Singer’s rules, so that he might actually punish me. But I was too afraid of displeasing him!”

“You were always a very good girl, Emily,” my husband said with affection. I turned to him and smiled. He recently confessed to me that he sometimes misses those days when I was only a child in his care. He loves all of our children so much, but he has not been able to form the same sort of bond with our girls. “Of course,” he mused at the time, smiling, “One might say that it’s probably a good thing.”

Alice smiled at my story, for she understands how much I love my husband. “So, Mrs. Singer…you do enjoy being abused?”

“Abused?” I said. “Oh, goodness, no. No, my dear, it isn’t abuse.” I explained it to her patiently, the same way that my husband and I had once explained it all to young Mina.

“Perhaps, Emily, it would be better to show Alice rather than tell her,” my husband observed, and I readily agreed. I stood at his command, and he sat in the armchair. “I think my little wife needs a good old-fashioned spanking. Come, Emily, lie across my lap, that’s a good girl.”

I draped my body over my master’s lap. My vision was obscured by my loosened hair, so I could not see Alice’s reaction as my husband spanked my ass with his solid palm. I cried out freely, though I did not exaggerate my cries of pain as I might have with other playmates involved. Still, I was growing wetter by the minute, and with each smack on the ass, I involuntarily rubbed against my husband’s clothed thigh.

When my ass was stinging and burning red, my husband had me stand. Alice, sitting wide-eyed on the couch, didn’t seem certain of what to say. I was worried for a moment that she was disgusted with me, shocked, but a little smile finally came to her lips. My husband pointed out the wet spot on his pants. “Do you see how much she loves this, Alice? She needs it. Care to give it a try?”

At first, I wasn’t certain what my husband meant. Did he wish to spank Alice himself? But no…Alice sat up tall on the couch and gestured to her lap invitingly. Eagerly, I spread myself across her lap. Alice seemed to hesitate a moment; I felt her tensing up. “Alice, hit me as hard as you like, dear,” I instructed her.

She did not do so the first time, though her little smack on my stinging ass still elicited a cry from me. She eventually got into her task, and I quite voluntarily rubbed my crotch against her bare leg, moaning more in longing than in pain at the stinging blows. Alice also gave some attention to the backs of my thighs, a very sensitive place indeed. As she did so, I heard my husband say from behind me, “Spread wide, Emily.” He was kneeling behind me, and when I spread my legs, my husband began fingering and teasing me expertly, taking his time while he allowed Alice to paint my backside red with her harsh blows.

I came with a scream just as Alice delivered another stinging blow to my ass. My husband instructed her to stop, and he forced me to my knees before her to lick my juices off of her leg. I looked up at Alice as I completed my chore, and she was smiling brightly, so thrilled to be a part of our games, and at that moment, I knew that it was right.

I stayed on my knees before Alice as my husband asked her, “Well, do you enjoy our little games?”

“I do,” Alice answered. She looked at me, and I up at her, but I said nothing.

“As long as you’re here,” my husband said, “You are welcome to play with us. I’ll confess that our games tonight were relatively tame compared to what we’d usually do, so you may want to brace yourself for some surprises.”

I giggled and Alice said, “I look forward to it.”

And since that wonderful evening, we have played together almost every evening since. Alice will be staying on with us until a couple of weeks before her term at Cambridge is to begin; then, she will go and spend time with her brothers and sisters outside of London. I will miss her terribly, and I hate the thought of losing her, even temporarily. But my husband recently comforted me with his big surprise, and of all the “surprises” he’s ever given me, I do believe that this one is the most shocking of all!

I must explain. Alice and I have been good and have followed my husband’s rules. We never play without him…we don’t even kiss or flirt openly if he is not in our presence, though we are often alone during the day while he is working. In fact, when we are alone, it is almost as though we are not lovers at all, but are just the same close friends that we always were. I suppose that it is for the best, especially with Mina spending so much time with us. She, like her father, is very good at reading others, and I have no doubt that if we weren’t as discrete as we’ve been, she would suspect everything. She knows how I like to play, and I know that it would not be shocking to her, but she and Alice are only a few short years apart in age. Somehow, I feel like her knowing that Alice is a sexual being will encourage her to do such things…and she is far too young yet!

Though my husband is always active in our playing, I recently came to realization that he and Alice have not played together themselves. Not even once! I brought the subject up with my husband first. He looked a little surprised by my asking, and only gave one answer. “Why, my love, Alice belongs to you.”

Not long after, I spoke on it with Alice in private. “I wonder that you have not been with my husband,” I said.

Alice also looked surprised. “Would it please you to see me with him, Mrs. Singer?”

“Would it please you?” I asked in surprise. “Do you not find him to be an attractive man?” I was surprising myself with how defensive I sounded.

Alice smiled a little. “Oh, yes, Mr. Singer is a very attractive man.”

“Yet you do not wish to play with him, on your own accord?”

“I don’t know why,” Alice said. “I regard Mr. Singer as a very dear friend, and he is a handsome man. But I have no desire to play with him, Mrs. Singer…not when I can play with you instead,” she added with a little grin.

I had to laugh. Alice is, perhaps, the first woman I have ever met who has not been in raptures over my husband. Even Lydia Morrison found him sexy, though she viewed him as her nemesis and competitor. I did not dare recall the conversation for my husband, for I knew that he would be insecure. I know he does not like getting older, and he would view Alice’s opinion as further proof of his deterioration. Poor, silly man! I find him more attractive every day.

Only the other day, my husband and I were sitting together in his study. It was a very hot day. Alice and Rebecca took the little ones to see Tatiana, for though she is very close to giving birth now, she is very eager for company. My husband and I visited her just a few days ago, and she had to send him from the room. “He’s so eager for me in this state,” she said, sounding both amused and disgusted. “I’m a big fat cow, and he’s never wanted me more.”

I shrugged, unable to defend my husband’s strange tastes. “He is very attracted to pregnancy,” I could only say, and we laughed a little at that. But as I said this, I felt a sense of dread. For you see, my pregnancy with young Avery was my most difficult, and I was bedridden for some weeks even after he was born. Since then, I have been pregnant twice…but have not been able to carry either one past a few months before losing it. I was in despair some months ago, after the second miscarriage, and my husband held me as I cried. “Oh, sir,” I sniffled, “I’ll never be able to give you another child!”

He assured me that it was quite all right, that he would have been just as happy all along without any children. “I love our darlings,” he assured me. “I couldn’t love them more. But if you cannot give me any more…it is just as well, my love.”

Still, I know that he misses my milk. He would have kept drinking of me himself, had we realized that Avery would be our last. I feel that it is certain that I will never have another child, though my husband is not ready to give up on that yet. Anyway, the other day in his office, we were lounging about lazily and reading to ourselves. I could feel my husband’s eyes upon me, observing me in silence as I read, but I dared not look up until he spoke.

“Emily,” he said, “You seem happier now than you’ve been in quite some time.”

I did look up at him then (for, in anticipating him to speak, I had lost my place in my reading, anyway), and I smiled and spoke truthfully. “I am very happy, sir.”

“It’s because of Alice, isn’t it?” He did not seem hurt by this. He looked rather pleased.

“Yes, sir,” I admitted. “Her, and you, and our healthy children…”

My husband nodded. “You have everything that you want, my Emily?” I nodded. “You certainly deserve to…but I’m afraid that you are missing something.” As I gave him a puzzled look, he said, “I know how much you care for Alice, how much you want her. And I certainly understand. She’s beautiful, and the two of you have a very special bond. I daresay that you love her as much as you love me.”

“Oh, sir…” I said, wanting to deny it.

He put up his hand to stop me. “It is true, and it is all right. You have such a capacity for love, my dear, and it’s only right that you spread it around.” I remembered that Lydia Morrison said something like this to me once, when I confessed to her that I had relationships with the Howard sisters. So long ago…yet even after all that, I realize that I have not changed very much at all, not as much as I first thought. I am still the same, and it makes me feel so good to know it.

“Emily,” my husband said, and I was surprised at how nervous he looked. “I want to give something special to Alice, to thank her for making you so happy. I want to give you what you really want. So, my dear…if you wish for Alice to have complete access to you, I will allow for it.”

I could not comprehend his meaning at first. “Sir,” I said, “Do you mean allow her access to my pussy?”

“Yes.”

I gasped. “But, sir, it is…”

“It is mine to do with as I please,” he finished, smiling. “And I wish to give it to Alice, for her pleasure. And for yours, of course.”

“Oh, sir.” I had nothing to say as I cried. He came to where I sat on the couch and held me, kissing me softly as my tears silently flowed.

“You must still only play when I am around,” he said.

“Of course, sir.”

“You’re still mine, Emily.” It seemed that he wanted to reassure himself more than tell me.

“Always, sir.”

And I am so glad of it! For he was right in what he said. I have craved Alice as I have craved no one else. As of now, I have not told her of my husband’s generous offer, and our naughty playtime has continued as before. But tonight, I think, I will present it to her, as my husband watches. Though I know she will be thrilled (I know she has wanted it as much as I!), I find myself feeling nervous again, as I never have with one of my other friends.

Goodness! I just glanced outside and saw that the sun is beginning to set. I have been at my writing for quite some time. It is quiet in the house today; it is another hot day, and everyone has been snoozing. I will see to the children, and seek out my husband, for surely he will be returning from his offices soon. Tonight is the night that Alice will know me in a way that very few have before.

25 May, 18—

It has been so very long since I have written. My husband and I have just returned from a fortnight of traveling about the country. First, we attended Mina’s graduation from her boarding school. She will be off to Oxford in the fall, my clever little girl! Not so little…she is a woman now, and bigger than her little mother. She reminds me more of her father all the time, with her sharp features and her intent looks. She is still an active thing, but has gained an interest in chemistry, and when she is at her studies in that subject she is quite a focused person. I am very proud of the woman she is becoming.

Next, we went on to Cambridge for my dear Alice’s graduation. It has taken her three years to earn her degree in literature, a course of study that she found endlessly fascinating, but she confesses that she sees no practical use for her degree. No matter. She will soon be married to her Thurston Mangrich, who has a comfortable job with the government in London. She will live quite well.

She announced her engagement to us during our visit. I will admit, while I have known that she is Mr. Mangrich have been very involved the last three years, I was still surprised by it. I am quite happy for my dear Alice, for she could not be more excited to begin her life in London. She lived there in her younger years, first as a beggar girl on the streets, then as the downtrodden ward of a pair of sadists, but she will be returning in triumph.

The downside to all of this…and it is a big downside…is that our love affair is over. She said to me in private, “Mrs. Singer, as much as I love you…I want to be completely faithful to my husband.” I smiled and told her that I understood, and we kissed briefly. But I am very hurt by the news that we will be lovers no more. I shared this with my husband, and I sobbed. He knows how much I love Alice, perhaps he even realizes it more than I do, so he was quite sympathetic indeed.

“We’ll have one more night with our Alice,” he said. “We’ll make it really, really count.”

Since my husband granted Alice complete access to me, we have had more and more wild times together. During the summers, her winter breaks from school, and during the handful of visits that we’ve made to Cambridge over the years (such a lovely campus!), we have played roughly and tenderly, satisfying all of our whims while my husband watches in pleasure.

On our last night together as lovers, Alice allowed me to tie her to a chair and please her. She has not shied away from the use of restraints; indeed, she enjoys them as much as I do, and loves tying me up just as much as she loves being tied by me. I wonder if she will do such things with her Mr. Mangrich, but I am afraid to ask such questions. But that evening, it was just the two of us (for I find myself forgetting my husband’s presence as I play with Alice, though he is always watching). I ate her again and again, and she came over and over until she begged me to stop.

After she was untied, she next tied me to one of the bedposts. We were playing in the hotel suite that my husband and I were using, adjacent to the campus. She tied me with my back against the pole, and proceeded to smack my tits with a small paddle, with my husband’s encouragement. She then fingered me lovingly, kissing me as she shoved her slender fingers up inside of me. I spread and encouraged her to go deeper. “If you have your strap-on phallus, Mrs. Singer, I’d be happy to…”

My husband eagerly presented our friend with the favored toy, and she put it on and fucked me, while using her bare hands to slap my tits. She groped my tits roughly as she kissed me again, fucking me expertly, and she even cleaned me lovingly after I came. I couldn’t help crying, and while I told Alice that it was from the pleasure she’d given me, it was my knowing that we’d never play together again…

My husband knew the truth about how much Alice’s announcement distressed me. He is always so good at cheering me up, and as we rode in our carriage to Wainwright Hall this afternoon, heading home again after all of our travels, he said, “Our little Mina will be spending the summer traveling.”

“Of course, sir,” I said, for her little expedition had been my own idea. She will go to places in Europe that I have not been to myself, and I envy her little trip.

“I think it would be very nice for the little ones to get to see Amsterdam,” he said, but he really meant that he wanted to take me there. “Mina is scheduled to be there next month…perhaps we might take a family trip there to meet and surprise her. Wouldn’t that be lovely, Emily?”

“Oh, yes, sir,” I said. “She would love it.” And so will I. My husband has successfully distracted me again, and now I am looking forward to the trip so much. I have not traveled abroad in such a long time, and my husband added that, now that our little ones are getting older (I cannot believe that young Beatrice is now seven, and dear little Charlotte will turn seven later this summer!), it will be time for us to travel again, and bring them along.

My time with Alice is over, though she will always be my dearest friend. But my adventures with my dear husband continue, and I know that we will have fun and excitement for the rest of our days. My husband will continue to give me everything that I want, and everything that he knows I need. The dear man! At the worst of times, I am most grateful to have him, and I know that it will always be so!