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CHAPTER 32: FINDING WHERE YOU ARE
Mariah and Rose had fallen asleep on opposite ends of the couch in Gabriel's living room. Mariah awoke with a jolt when Gabriel opened the door to the apartment. He looked haggard, and his tunic was stained with blood. When he saw Mariah he gave her a weak grin. "It's nice to see you," he said softly.
Mariah stood up uncertainly. "How did . . . The woman . . . the leg . . ?" She shook her head, trying to wake all the way up.
Gabriel took his shirt off and headed for the bathroom. "She'll live," he said. "And I think I saved the leg." He sighed, holding his shirt by his fingertips and then dropping it unceremoniously on the floor. "You should go to bed," he said. "I need to wash up." He closed the bathroom door firmly behind him.
But Mariah stayed on the couch. She was nodding off again when Gabriel came out of the bathroom, wet, with only a towel wrapped around his middle. He put on his pajama bottoms in the bedroom, then came over to the couch.
"Ladies, bed," he said to Mariah and Rose. "You'll get a stiff neck if you sleep here."
Rose opened her eyes blearily. Gabriel was massaging his own shoulder. "Master, I can . . . I'm trained to . . ." Rose began, but she was too tired to continue. She looked over at Mariah, who shrugged, got up, and stumbled to her sleeping room. But she didn't go in until Rose had slipped out the patio door towards Animal's apartment.
***
When Mistress Dominique called Mariah up the next day, the room was dead silent as the slaves watched her. Would she take the whip her mistress offered her?
Mariah's hand slowly reached out and grasped the handle. Then a blur as tears filled her eyes. She could barely make out Mistress Dominique nodding with satisfaction as she said, "Good girl."
***
Mariah woke the next day to a squeaking noise outside the bedroom door. Wondering if it was a mouse, she opened the door to see Master Gabriel scrubbing the floorboards with a rag. "Sorry," he said. "Did I wake you?"
"What are you doing, my lord?" Mariah asked, mystified.
Gabriel shrugged, abashed. "I dropped my filthy shirt here last night," he said. "Some blood smeared."
"Rose will clean that for you," Mariah said.
"I know," Gabriel responded. "That's why I'm doing it before she sees it." Mariah just looked at him for a minute and then she couldn't help it; she started to laugh. Not sure what was so funny, Gabriel laughed too, which made Mariah laugh even harder.
Animal and Rose walked into Gabriel's apartment at that moment, and Mariah laughed until she fell down, tears leaking out of her eyes.
"Um, breathe?" Gabriel suggested. But all Mariah could do was point from Gabriel to Rose and back again.
***
Mistress Dominique called Mariah up for several more days. There was no doubt that Mariah would take the proffered whip. At times she found herself feeling proud of her increasing mastery over it and then, horrified, she shoved down the thought.
One day Mistress Dominique called up only one slave with Mariah, a short, curly haired male named Clark. Mariah quickly cuffed him to the trapeze, then looked expectantly at Mistress Dominique to see who she would call to pleasure Mariah. But Mistress Dominique merely said, "You may begin."
Mariah was elated. Her torture was over. She picked up the whip. "Not for pleasure," she said chanted to herself as she worked over Clark's body, her lash following his twists and turns. "Never for my pleasure."
When Clark was marked from knees to neck, and Mariah covered with a fine sheen of sweat, Mistress Dominique held up her hand for Mariah to stop. Coming behind Mariah, she wrapped her hand around Mariah's front, and touched her slit. "You're dry," Mistress Mariah said, sounding astonished before she recovered herself. She twirled Mariah around so they were facing each other. "Have you learned nothing in these past days?"
It was a mindgame. Mariah opened and closed her mouth. The whip slipped from her hand.
It was a mindgame, and yet, Mistress Dominique seemed genuinely angry. Her lips pressed together into thin lines as she watched the whip fall to the floor. "Pick it up," she said tersely. When Mariah had complied, she said, "You choose."
At first Mariah thought her mistress meant she should choose whether to whip or be whipped, but that made no sense. The whole room knew, to her shame, that she would choose to inflict pain rather than to receive it.
And then Mariah understood. She was to choose who she would whip, and who would pleasure her while she did so.
Someone strong to whip, she thought, someone who could bear it more easily. Her eyes fell on Taejon, compact, muscular, nearly unmarked. She nodded at him. And then, randomly, she nodded at the girl who had been kneeling next to him, a slight thing who Mariah did not recognize.
Mistress Dominique narrowed her eyes at Mariah's pick. She said to Taejon, tersely, "Tie Ashley up."
Mariah realized her mistake. "No, Mistress, I . . . "
Mistress Dominique looked glacially at Mariah. She faltered. "I meant to choose Taejon to . . . "
"Don't reach above yourself," Mistress Dominique said softly. "You only get the choices your betters give you."
Mariah looked dubiously at Ashley as Taejon tied her to the post. She was new to the center. Auburn hair, pale, pale skin on a thin, thin body. She looked like a bark of laughter could blow her away.
Mariah glanced then at Taejon, and involuntarily took a step back from the cool anger that met her. But he approached her, wordlessly. Placing his hands on her hips, he positioned her so that she was standing just where she needed to whip Ashley. He fell to his knees before her, and she began.
Taejon's hands were miracles. His fingers fluttered on her, in her, firm, soft, as if he felt her every sensation. He hadn't even put his mouth on her, just leaned in close, so close, and Mariah could feel herself gushing. Ashley yelped when the whip hit her breast, and Mariah adjusted the angle. And then Taejon's tongue was on her, and his fingers pushing her into him, and he stopped and started with a rhythm that was amazing, perfect, and she was almost there. And then she was there. She came before Ashley was half marked.
Mariah was used to the routine -- the other slaves helping the one she had whipped, and ignoring her as she slunk away to find a place to rest, and recover. Taejon, however, made no move towards Ashley. Mariah felt warmed by his presence.
But Taejon was staring at her with the same cold anger as before. He took her elbow to lead her away from Mistress Dominique. He was menacing, not friendly.
When he and Mariah had walked far enough away that no one would overhear them, he moved Mariah around so she was facing him. "You just couldn't wait, is that it?" he said.
"What?" Mariah asked. She had the same sinking feeling as when she walked into a mindgame. But this was Taejon. She had thought they were friendly, if not friends.
"Don't pretend you're stupid!" he spat. "You've been wanting to get back with me since that first night." Mariah remembered, she had hoped to -- what had he called it? -- "make love" with Taejon again. But since Mistress Dominique had been calling her up every day, she had been spending her nights alone, focusing on making it through the mindgame.
"I would have come to you," Taejon said. "I liked you well enough." He brought his face in close to hers. "I was protecting you! Mistress Dominique don't like to share me too much with anyone. She gets jealous, you know?"
Taejon narrowed his eyes. "But you couldn't wait. You'd rather have me in front of everyone, while you're whipping the girl I was with last night, then not have me at all."
"Wh . . What?" Mariah stammered. "No, I meant to whip you, not her, I swear. I just happened to see you . . ." She trailed off.
Taejon took a step back from her. "If that's true, then you really are stupid," he spat out. "You think Mistress Dominique will let anyone other than her punish me?" He glared at her. Mariah shook her head.
"I didn't know," she said. She thought she added, "Please, believe me," but she wasn't sure if she had spoken out loud.
Taejon shook his head in disgust. "You didn't know," he said. "Just like you didn't know enough to get yourself wet when you were whipping Clark." He paused. "If you don't know, it's because you don't care who you hurt. You're a selfish bitch." Mariah's eyes filled with tears. Taejon turned and strode away from her. When Mariah looked up, he was kneeling gracefully in front of Mistress Dominique.
***
That evening Gabriel and Mariah sat at the table in Gabriel's apartment, looking at a bound book of maps Gabriel had brought back from the Library. They had it open to the page that showed the northwest corner of Riviera, and the area outside it.
Careful not to touch the delicate paper, Gabriel showed Mariah Holden's Gate. He traced the short distance away where he had first seen Mariah. Not sure she understood quite how the map worked, Mariah pointed to where she thought she had been found by the hunters. Gabriel shook his head. "That can't be right," he said. "You must be turned around on the page."
Before Mariah could respond, Animal slammed open the sliding door and stomped in from the courtyard. "Is Rose with you?" he demanded. Neither Gabriel or Mariah answered at once, both in a haze of concentration. "She's late," Animal said, as if they were to blame.
Mariah sighed at the interruption. The map book was a revelation. The possibilities of knowing where you were in relation to the whole land . . . . And it was filled with not just words, but with symbols and colors and lines that even a slave could be taught to understand.
Animal began to tap his foot. Gabriel reverently closed the book. Mariah scowled at Animal. "I'm sure Rose is late on purpose, Master," she said. "She's always testing how much she can get away with."
Gabriel snorted with amusement, but Animal glared at her. "If she's so late that we have to eat your cooking, it's your ass that will be tested," he said.
"But, master, sir, I am under the protection of Master Gabriel of Harmony." Mariah opened her eyes wide, all innocence.
"He's not always around," Animal growled. "And he won't notice a few bruises more or less on you."
"Children, enough," Gabriel interrupted. "I'll cook, and you can both help me, and learn." Their bickering forgotten, Animal and Mariah exchanged startled looks with each other. Gabriel rolled his eyes. "Do you really think I can't make a meal?" he said. "I didn't travel from Harmony eating grass like a horse, you know."
They all turned at the sound of the front door creaking open. Rose came in, a large sack in her arms. She looked startled to see Animal in Gabriel's apartment. "Where have you been?" Animal demanded. "Did you get all my supplies?"
"Yes, Master" Rose answered, "except Master Henri said to tell you he's out of yellow ochre and he doesn't know when he'll have the ingredients to make more."
Master Animal frowned. Rose seemed to shrink down. Sighing with annoyance, Animal snapped, "You know I'm not going to punish you just because I'm out of paint. What's the matter with you? And why are you so late?"
Rose placed the sack carefully on the coffee table. She took a container of strawberries from the top and started to carry them to Gabriel's kitchen. With her front no longer covered by the bag, the others could see that her breasts were bruised, and as she passed them they saw whipmarks on her behind. Her voice trembled as she said, "I'm sorry, master. I was stopped on the way."
It was a moment before Animal demanded, "Why? Weren't you wearing your bracelet?"
Rose's voice was husky, and she looked only at the strawberries she placed on the counter. "I was hurrying instead of showing proper respect," she said. "They said my bracelet didn't excuse me from that. And they were bored. . . "
Animal looked her over sharply for damage. "Are you injured?" he asked.
"No, master, nothing unusual. Mostly they just . . ." Rose's chin shook, and she trailed off.
And Gabriel was by her side, and he took her hand. "Rose, you are hurt," he said. "You're bruised, and you're cut . . ."
Rose shook her head. "It's nothing, Master." She looked to Animal for confirmation, but he was staring out the window, his mouth set. But his fists were tight, his knuckles white.
"It's not nothing," Gabriel said. "You don't cry over nothing."
Rose tried to pull her hand away from Gabriel's, but he would not let go. "Master, it's just they . . . they just butt-fucked me."
Animal continued to stare out the window. Gabriel started to mutter an oath, but he stopped himself. "I'll need to examine you, Rose," he said. "If they tore you . . ."
Rose shook her head. "I'm all right, Master, really," she said. "They weren't that big, or rough." She tried to smile at him, but failed, and looked down.
Mariah was still sitting at the table. "If that's all that happened, why are you so upset?" she asked.
Rose's face crumpled. It was a moment before she answered. At last she said in a whisper, "I don't like it." She said, a little louder, "I hate it." Then she looked fearfully at Animal, but he gave no indication that he was listening.
Gabriel put his arm around Rose and led her to the couch. "I'm going to fix you some tea," he said.
Rose grabbed his hand. "No, master, please, don't put me to sleep. I have to fix dinner . . ."
Animal said, suddenly, "Gabriel's going to cook tonight." The others looked at him in surprise, but Animal looked only at Gabriel. "So if his tea puts you to sleep, that's all right." He sat down next to Rose on the couch, "I might go to sleep early tonight myself."
Rose's lips trembled. "Master, I didn't serve you last night . . ."
Animal put his feet on a footstool and leaned back next to Rose. "It's all right. I'm tired." He closed his eyes for a moment, opened them, took her hand, and then closed them again, seeming to ignore her but not letting her pull her hand away until Gabriel brought the tea a few minutes later.
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