Limits

Come six thirty, Karen's alarm started bleeping so she rolled over and switched it off. She smiled to herself to see Jude lying there next to her, still snoring. Waking up next to someone was a whole new experience, one she would gladly get used to. Whatever her far from trivial misgivings about what she was getting involved with, she still had a warm glow from last night and felt better about life than she had done in a long while. She slipped out of bed, put on her dressing gown and went downstairs to put the kettle on. As she sorted out two cups she thought over what this all meant. Two cups waiting for the kettle to boil! Two cups! There, in her bedroom upstairs, sleeping in her bed, was her lover! This was all a bit much to take in. Not just that she had a lover in the first place, amazing as that was, but that that lover should be another woman! She couldn't suppress a little giggle of amazement at what had happened to her.

The kettle came to the boil, so she slipped teabags into the cups, filled them up with boiling water, and fetched the milk. She wasn't sure of Jude's tastes so she put the whole lot on a tray and took it all upstairs to the bedroom.

"I've brought some tea. How do you take it?" she said brightly as she entered the room and put the tray down on her dressing table.

"Tea, oh, you angel," Jude replied sleepily. "What time is it?"

"About six forty five," Karen replied. "What time do you need to get to work?"

"Later, a lot later; we coppers work silly shifts and I'm not due to go in today until late afternoon but I still need to get up and get home to sort things out."

"Of course. How do you like your tea?"

"Milk, no sugar, thanks. Is there any chance of a spot of breakfast? I'm starving." Jude sat up and took the cup from Karen.

"I normally just have toast and marmalade. Will that do?"

"Perfect, although I'd best come down for it, we don't want crumbs in the bed."

Whilst Jude drank her tea, Karen took the tray back down stairs and put four slices of toast under the grill. They were browning nicely and she was setting out the kitchen table when Jude appeared, wearing just her shirt and underpants. Karen removed the toast from the grill, put it in a toast rack and placed it on the table. As Jude pulled out a chair and sat down, Karen felt a thrill of pleasure that made her heart sing. Last night had been hot and steamy and they had both been lost in the passion but here, this morning, it was more like being a real couple. Simply looking across the kitchen table and seeing another face, it was almost a dream come true, albeit in a rather unorthodox way. She glanced at the clock.

"Look at the time. I'd best get ready. The bus leaves at twenty past."

"You don't need to bother with the bus this morning. I'll run you to work. That will give us a little more time together."

Karen got another thrill from the thought that she wasn't the only one who wanted to enjoy this companionship, that Jude wasn't in a rush to leave.

"Do you mind if I'm first in the bathroom?" Karen asked.

"Not at all. Off you go; I'll brew myself another cup." Jude picked up her empty cup and went over to the sink to rinse it under the tap. "That first one hardly touched the sides."

Karen left Jude refilling the kettle as she went upstairs to the bathroom and did her morning ablutions. When she had finished and went to her bedroom she found Jude rummaging through her wardrobe.

"What are you doing?" she asked, suddenly quite angry.

"Finding you something to wear today. Not much choice, is there?" Jude replied breezily as she rifled through the clothes. "Where do you shop, Oxfam?"

"I'm not sure I like you looking through my things," Karen responded sharply, "that's private."

"Don't be a wuss. It's only your wardrobe; I'm not going through your diary or anything. Anyway, if you're going to be my sub you had better get used to it," Jude replied, slightly surprised at Karen's objections. "Here, these will do."

Jude turned around and in her hands were a white cotton blouse and an A-line skirt that Karen normally kept for best. She laid them on the bed.

"Put them on," she said. "I want to see what you look like."

At this point Karen nearly put her foot down. Once again Jude had taken control and Karen felt as if she was being pulled this way and that. Her desire to please was countered by a resentment at the way her life was being taken over, resentment at the choices that were being made for her. Finding Jude searching through her wardrobe felt as if her personal space was being invaded and the high-handed way that Jude dismissed her concerns as trivial was hard to take. But then she looked at Jude, who seemed to treat this as normal, and she didn't want to ruin the morning by picking a fight. In the end her desire to please won so, in preparation for putting on the clothes Jude had chosen, she turned to her dressing table, opened her knickers drawer and took out the top pair. As she stooped to put them on....

"What on earth do you think you're doing?" Jude asked firmly.

"Putting on some panties," Karen replied and then it dawned on her. "You mean you're not going to allow me to wear panties around you even when I'm dressing to go to work? That's not fair."

"Who said anything about fair? I seem to remember only last night, that was exactly the promise you made and now, so soon, you're going to break it. I don't think so." Jude said her tone clearly showing that she meant business.

"What about a bra and tights?"

"What indeed. I seem to remember that they too were part of the deal. Now come along, put them back and get dressed. Time's getting on."

For a long, long moment Karen looked at Jude, her panties still in her hand. Once again she had that feeling, that feeling she was getting all too used to, that feeling of being a twig in a roaring torrent, of being swept along completely out of control, but Jude looked resolute and, with a sigh, she put the panties back in the drawer and turned to the clothes on the bed.

"Good girl," Jude purred. "Believe me, you'll get used to it in no time."

"I'm not sure I want to get used to it," Karen said ruefully.

"Yes you are and yes you will. Now, stop mucking about, get those clothes on and let's find you a decent pair of shoes. Oh, and don't think you can get past me by slipping a pair of panties into your handbag. I will be checking, you know."

With a sigh Karen turned to her clothes.

Twenty minutes later they were outside the Flying Horse where Jude's car was still parked from the previous evening. Curiously, as they had set off, Karen had found that, whist she was still nervous about being so "undressed" in public it did have a definite thrill and the fact that she was pantyless was rather exciting. Even so, before they left the house, she had checked carefully in the mirror to make sure there was no way of telling. As for being without a bra, well, with the best will in the world she would have to admit that she wasn't over-endowed and, as long as her nipples didn't show through the material of her blouse, who would be any the wiser. On the way to work Jude who, of course, knew the town in the way that only those who patrol the streets could know it, took the back doubles and in no time they were pulling up outside the office where Karen worked.

"OK then, I'll pick you up right here at four thirty on Friday afternoon," Jude said as she put on the handbrake. "I wish we could meet up earlier but that's the way it goes when you start dating a copper, you're stuck with our silly shift system. Now give me a kiss before you go."

Jude leant across and Karen, after a quick look around, responded. Instead of the peck on the cheek Karen had expected, Jude wanted, and got, far more and she pulled Karen towards her for a full smooch. Even with her nervousness that someone might see, there was something addictive about Jude's kisses and they clung together for a couple of minutes before, almost reluctantly, they broke apart and Karen reached for her handbag which was on the floor of the car by her feet.

"Hun...," Jude started suddenly nervous. "Look, I had a lot of fun last night. Really I did. I want to make this work; I want to spend lots of time with you. You're a special girl and I don't want lose you."

"I had fun too," Karen admitted. "No one has ever made me feel the way you do."

The two women just looked at each other and the car was full of unspoken words. It was Jude who finally broke the silence.

"Go on, you'll be late," she said. "I'll see you on Friday. Oh, and keep your phone switched on; that's an order."

Twenty minutes later Karen was sitting at her desk when Mel sauntered in, ten minutes late as usual. "Hi boss," she called out, "what's put you in such a good mood?"

"Hi Mel," Karen said looking at her watch meaningfully. "You're late and what makes you think I'm in a good mood?"

"You were humming to yourself," Mel said as if it were obvious. "I don't think I've heard you do that before."

"Humming or not, you still should have been here over ten minutes ago. Come on Mel, I like you but that doesn't mean I can let you be late every day. It's not fair on the others."

"I'll try, boss, I'll try," Mel said with a rueful smile.

"Thanks. And while we're at it, thanks for helping with the phone yesterday. It worked a treat in the end."

"So you did phone Jude. That's why you're in such a good mood," Mel said triumphantly.

"Never you mind about who I did or did not phone. Come along, you're late and we're not here to chat." But, as Karen chided Mel, a smile was on her face and Mel could tell that, although she meant what she said, she wasn't really angry. Ironically that gave her words more weight. When Karen had been just the boss, then anything Mel could get away with was fair game. Now Karen was 'one of the crowd' it was like betraying a friend. Mel was fast reassessing her feelings about her supervisor. Maybe 'frigid knickers' wasn't quite the right nickname after all.

In the middle of the morning the sounds of 'Constant Craving' came from Karen's handbag and she fetched it out and, whilst still bent over, pressed the answer button.

"Jude, I can't talk, we're not allowed phones at work," she hissed urgently.

"OK. Call as soon as you get a chance. Don't forget," Jude replied and then the phone went dead.

Karen put the phone back in her handbag but she couldn't let it lie and almost immediately she was trying to work out how and when she would be able to return Jude's call. She thought about sneaking off to the loo but as the smokers tended to treat them as their private smoking room there was always someone loitering about and she'd be bound to be overheard. There was no way she wanted her private life to go round the office grapevine. In the end she had to wait until lunchtime when, as soon as she could get out, she left the office to and went down to the local park to find a suitable bench . The weather was far from perfect so the park wasn't too crowded and she soon found a quiet corner. Feeling like she was becoming an expert, she got out the phone and opened the address book. Selecting the entry for Mistress Jude, she pressed the call button and held the phone to her ear. It was only moments before it was answered.

"Hi, Karen," Jude said, "look, hang on a moment." Then, more faintly in the background to someone she was evidently with. "Look, Jim, I need to take this. You go on and I'll catch you up." Then Jude returned to the phone. "And how's my naughty little girl doing?"

"I'm fine," Karen replied. Why did it thrill her so to be called Jude's naughty little girl?

"Do you know why you're naughty?" Jude asked.

"I... I'm not sure," Karen replied.

"Because you've gone out without your knickers on. Only bad, bad girls do that. I'm going to have to punish you most severely when the time comes, isn't that so."

"Yes, Mistress," Karen said at little more than a whisper. Although there was no one within earshot she felt incredibly wicked having this conversation as if everyone around her knew what was taking place.

"And how should I punish you?" Jude continued. "Shall I put you over my knee and smack your bottom. Would that be a suitable punishment for my naughty little girl?"

"Yes, Mistress."

"Yes, what?" Jude prompted.

"Yes, please Mistress. Please spank my bottom for being a naughty girl." Karen was amazed at herself for what she was saying, and more for what she was feeling. There was something deliciously naughty and exhilaratingly liberating to be saying these things in such an open space and it had got to her in more ways than one.

"You've got all horny, haven't you?" Jude asked.

"Yes, Mistress," Karen admitted, blushing.

"Well, you're not to do anything about it. You're not allowed to play with yourself unless I specifically tell you to. Is that quite understood?" Jude sounded quite stern.

"Of course, Mistress," although, to tell the truth, Karen hadn't really thought about it.

"You'd like to play with yourself, wouldn't you?" Jude asked.

For a moment or two Karen was nonplussed. Sure, there was an itch, an excited tingle, from 'down there' but this was all part and parcel of her life since she had met Jude. As for doing something about it, well that wouldn't feel right and would somehow cheapen things. On the other hand she knew what answer Jude wanted. "I'd much prefer it if you were to play with me," she said instead.

"You would, wouldn't you? Because not only are you a naughty girl who goes out without her knickers but you're also a wanton slut who loves having her pussy played with. What are you?"

"A wanton slut, Mistress. A wanton slut who loves having her pussy played with." Again the confession was intensely thrilling. There was something about Jude, which seemed to have found a hidden part deep within her, to have unlocked a naughty little girl who wanted to break free of all the rules she had lived by. It was as if Jude had given her license to indulge depraved fantasies she hadn't even known she had.

"Very well, that will do for now." Jude said firmly. "Is this your normal lunch time?"

"Yes, Mistress, from twelve `till one."

"Very well then; we'll do this again tomorrow. Make sure you are somewhere where you can talk freely. I'll call you. Bye," and with that the phone went dead.

Karen was shaking with emotion as she reached for her handbag and put away her phone. Part of her was shocked, deeply shocked, by what she had got herself into. In her head she could hear what her mother would have said about girls who go out without knickers, let alone girls who kiss other girls. Her whole moral compass was spinning like a top. She knew very well that what she was doing was 'wrong', 'wilful' or just plain 'bad' but for the life of her she couldn't see why. Mel, Lucy, Jude, all the girls at the club had been just what her mother had warned her about, the sort that were 'no better than they ought to be', the sort who would just lead her astray and get her into trouble. But then, when all was said and done, where was the harm? Surely something that felt this good couldn't be all bad. And the girls themselves had all been so friendly, so welcoming and, above all, so non-judgemental. For all the labels, all the condemnation, she couldn't see what was so wrong with it all.

She thought about what Jude had said about doing the same thing tomorrow and knew that she would be back here at the same park bench, or one very much like it, but, more tellingly that, tomorrow, it wouldn't feel right unless, like today, she were missing her panties. She glanced at her watch; twelve forty-five already and she hadn't had a bite to eat. She'd have to grab a sandwich from the corner shop and eat it at her desk.

That night, when Karen got home, she went up to her bedroom to get changed and, as she saw the bed, all that had happened the previous night came back to her. Here, on her own, the doubts returned. Again she could imagine her mother's voice, what she would have said about two girls in bed together, words like perverse, unnatural and immoral would undoubtedly have been involved. And, when all was said and done, the fact that they were both women was but part of it. Somehow she had lost hold of her senses and got involved in these kinky games, games where she was smacked or games where she made obscene phone calls in the park.  There was something about Jude, something that made her forget what was right and what was wrong.

She sat at her dressing table and, more for the sake of something to do than anything else, picked up her hairbrush and started on her hair. As she stared at herself in the mirror she wondered how she had got into this mess, how she had let herself be tricked and conned into behaving so badly. Going out without  knickers on, what was she thinking of; it was almost the definition of a slattern, of a woman who was, as her mother used to put it, no better than she ought to be. She reached for the bottom right hand dressing table drawer and opened it up. There, neatly ironed and folded, was the pile of sensible panties in plain white cotton all ready for her. She picked out the top pair and held it in her hand.

God they were boring! Boring, boring, boring! And, truth be told, they suited her all too well. She thought of how Jude had made her feel at lunch time, how Jude had made her feel last night, and how, somehow, if she put these on, she knew she would never feel like that again. And endless procession of lonely nights, each one as exciting as plain white cotton, seemed to stretch ahead of her. Could she, would she? In tears of indecision she just sat there wondering what to do.

At first, as the strains of 'Constant Craving' came from her handbag, she didn't realise what it was but then it came to her, someone, probably Jude, was calling her mobile. She put the panties down on her dressing table and fetched out the phone. However, on the screen, instead of 'Mistress Jude' was the word 'Lucy'. She pushed the answer button and held the phone to her ear.

"Hello?" she asked nervously.

"Hi, Karen, it's Lucy, is this a good time? I'd love to have a chat," Lucy gushed.

"Err... I suppose so."

"Mel told me all about Jude giving you a mobile and said you might have used it. So? Come along, tell all."

As with the previous Friday, Karen found it hard to resist Lucy's good nature and, although she was secretive by nature, it would be good to unburden herself.

"I did call Jude," Karen confessed.

"And...?"

"And... and we went to the pub together." Karen wasn't ready for full disclosure yet.

"I knew it! I knew it! I knew it!" Lucy squeaked with delight. "As soon as I saw the two of you together I knew you were perfect for each other."

"Perfect," Karen echoed. "I'm not so sure."

"Why, what happened? Did she upset you again? I was worried about you, rushing out of the club like that."

"No, she didn't upset me, exactly," Karen said slowly.

"What then? Come along, tell me all."

"I'm not sure I'm ready for all this. Lucy, please, what was it like for you?" Karen asked.

"What was what like?"

"When you found out... when you first knew... when you first found out...."

"When I worked out I was a lesbian? Lonely, and a little bit scary," Lucy confessed. "I had an awful crush on a girl at school and, if anyone found out... well, you know how cruel school kids can be. So, how are you feeling?"

"Lonely and a little scared," Karen replied. "I'm not sure if I want to... I'm not sure if I can...."

"Karen, are you doing anything tonight?" Lucy asked.

"Nothing special, just watching telly."

"Can I come on over? It sounds like you need a friend."

"Would you?" Karen asked, relief washing through her. "What about Mel?"

"Mel can look after herself for an evening," Lucy said firmly. "Unless, of course, you want her to come as well."

"No, just you, if you don't mind. I haven't eaten yet, can we make it after seven?"

"No problem. That suits me as well actually." And so the arrangements were made.

Karen was still conflicted as she put a pork chop under the grill and a potato in the microwave. However, having Lucy come over later meant that she could put her fears on hold and, noticeably, she still wasn't wearing any panties.

It was maybe ten minutes past seven when Karen, who had been keeping a close eye out, saw Mel's car pull up outside and Lucy get out. Even before Karen was half way up the front path Karen had the front door open and was welcoming her in. They went through to the kitchen and, after Karen put the kettle on, sat down at the kitchen table.

"So, you went to the pub with Jude last night and now you're a little confused. Is that about it?" Lucy said after Karen had finished pouring cups of tea.

Karen paused for a moment but, remembering how Lucy had been so kind back at Mary's leaving do, how she had been so understanding, so sympathetic, and, with the need to tell someone, anyone, what was going on in her mind, she knew she had to tell it all.

"It wasn't just the pub," she replied. "Jude came back here afterwards, she spent the night."

"And now you're wondering what you've got yourself into," Lucy suggested.

"Oh, Lucy! I don't know what to do. When I'm with Jude it's all so right, she makes me feel like I've never felt before and then, later, when she's gone, I begin to wonder. I mean, it's not just the whole 'she's a woman' thing, it's what we do in bed as well. Look, don't take this the wrong way but when I think about it later I feel like a bit of a pervert. And then Jude," Karen continued, "I mean she's great, I've never met anyone like her, but she seems to assume that I'm more willing than I am. I mean, I've never felt so embarrassed as when we were at the club. Everyone must have noticed, whatever did they think?"

"Lucky cow, mostly," Lucy replied, "but I know what you mean. Is that why you ran away?"

"Yes, I simply couldn't take it any more, sitting there with everybody knowing my business like that. I'm not used to it, I don't like it, I'm a very private person."

"You poor thing," Lucy sympathised. "I feel so guilty. After all, it was me that invited you in the first place."

"I have to admit that you weren't my bestest friend that night," Karen said ruefully. "But, well, later, that's when it all gets complicated. I mean I really like Jude, she's a very special person and she makes me feel the way no one has ever done before. But that scares me too; I don't know what she expects of me, I don't know if I can be what she wants me to be."

"Have you told her how you feel?" Lucy asked.

"I...," Karen shook her head ruefully. "When I'm with her I can't. Worse than that, when I'm with her I actually encourage her. I mean, back at the club I didn't exactly fight her, and, last night it was I who invited her back here; I even asked her to spank me. And now she's got me going out without panties and, were I to put some on it's not as if she would know or anything, in fact, I want to, even if it does feel... Oh, Lucy, I'm not making much sense, am I?"

"You're making far more sense than you think you are," Lucy assured her friend. "I mean, for me, some of the things that Mel makes me do wouldn't be half as exciting if I felt comfortable doing them. I know what you mean about the panties thing as well. Most of you knows that no one could possibly tell but part of you thinks that everyone must know, must be thinking what a slut you are. That's what works for me."

"This lunchtime she had me talking dirty on my mobile in the park. I felt like I was naked, it felt like everyone there could hear me say those things."

Lucy looked across at her friend. Karen had a sparkle in her eye that betrayed that, whatever doubts and reservations she might have had, she also had fond recollections. "It looks like Jude knows how to press your buttons," she commented.

"And then some," Karen admitted. "It's as if she knows, she understands, she's really in tune with what I want, what I need. I don't want to want these awful things but when she makes me do them, I'm in heaven and hell at the same time. I'll never forget the shame, the disgrace of that awful exhibition I made of myself back at the club but, I have to admit, I've never felt anything that intense, anything that powerful, well, not until last night."

"Last night?" Lucy prompted.

"She spanked me, over her knee like a naughty child," Karen confessed.

"And you enjoyed it?"

"Well, no, how could I?" Karen started but, seeing the disbelief in her friend's eye, she relented. "It was fantastic. I don't know how she does it; I don't know how she makes me feel so good."

"It sounds to me as if you're hooked," Lucy commented. "When are you going to see her again?"

"This weekend. She wants me to spend the weekend at her place as her sub. All weekend. I don't know whether I can. I don't know whether I want to."

'You want to, all right,' Lucy thought to herself. 'You just want persuading'.

And so it went. Karen talked and talked, sometimes taking one side, sometimes the other. Lucy, knowing that talking is sometimes all that's needed, sat and listened, giving the occasional prompts. Time and time again the kettle was refilled and, by ten thirty, Lucy was awash with tea and somewhat talked out.

"Look," she said, "it's getting late, I have to go."

"Oh, Lucy," Karen said, "thank you so much for coming over. I feel so much better now that you've told me what to do."

"Me!" Lucy exclaimed. "I just sat here and listened. If anyone's told you what to do then it's you. Anyway, I'm glad you've made up your mind, but, just so I've got things straight, are you seeing Jude on Friday or not?"

"Of course," Karen replied. "I couldn't do otherwise."