Interview With A Domme

Interview.

As Erica approached the destination for her appointment in the upscale middle class neighborhood, she had to admit to being a bit nervous and unsettled.  Nervous because this was her big break, her first solo feature article.  Over the past several years she had worked her way up from very local weekly papers, to being a cub reporter on the large daily newspaper, again assigned to the local news scene, to finally being promoted to a position as researcher and writer for the Life and Social section of the paper.  She had participated and had been given a fourth, and even at times a third contributing reporter byline on a number of major articles, but this would be the first feature that would be hers alone.  Her editor had even indicated that if done well it might even be the lead article in the Sunday section.

As big an opportunity as this was, she was unsettled because of the subject matter.  Her editor wanted her to investigate and explore a social phenomenon that had apparently been gaining a lot of buzz on the internet and blogosphere, what was being referred to in a variety of forums as Female Led Relationships (FLRs), or Wife Dominant Marriages (WDMs).  Erica couldn’t help but initially notice how close the latter acronym was to the more commonly used and understood WMDs, and she wondered idly if the two might share some common thread.  Her editor had been adamant however that she wanted a serious examination of the topic, not how it might usually be comically treated in the mainstream media, but how it might actually exist in real life, as the web suggested was occurring more and more frequently.  What were the participants like, what did it all entail, how did it work, and to what level and degree?  Her editor believed that the time was long past due for a legitimate look at a subject and lifestyle that seemed to be growing and developing in the shadows, and she felt the Erica was just the reporter and writer to bring it to the light of day in a fair, interesting and thought provoking way.

Despite her own self confidence in her abilities, and flattered by her editor’s selection of her for such a choice assignment, Erica was not as sure.  She had covered and written about topics where she had strong personal opinions that were in variance with the subject, but she had always prided herself at being a professional able to put those aside and be as objective as possible.  But she wondered if she would be able to do so as effectively in this case.  She just didn’t understand, or get in her gut, the underlying concept.  Oh, she could understand on an intellectual level the episodic sexual thrill some might derive from this particular kink, even if it did nothing for her, but how anyone could build a solid sustaining relationship and lifestyle around it seemed beyond her.  Real relationships were about give and take, compromise, and acceptance of equality between the partners.  Sure, there was always struggle and stress to achieve and maintain this, but that was the only way that she could see how any relationship could work, even as it took real work to do so.

Not that she had been overly successful in her own life in maintaining relationships with men.  She had had a number over the years but none had ever advanced very far.  Maybe it was her inquisitive, always asking questions nature, which  was inherent in her personality yet vital to her occupation, that had proved to be too much for the men she had been involved with in her life thus far.  She hadn’t lost faith however that there was a Mr. Right out there, who was strong enough to accept her and love her for who and how she was.

That perhaps was the basic difficulty which she had in understanding and potentially dealing with, even on a superficial professional level, these so called FLRs and WDMs.  It wasn’t just the inequality implied.  She supposed that in many otherwise successful relationships one of the partners could be more of the take charge person, even if it wasn’t always the man.  But that wouldn’t mean absolutely ruling over the other person, as seemed to the case and desire in these WDMs.  How weak must such a man be to allow his partner to walk all over him in every facet of their relationship.  What possibly could be the attraction of such a man, except to a woman who reveled in humiliating and even causing pain in someone else, even if the recipient liked and desired it.  Erica didn’t think that she could relate to either type of person.

But this assignment was too big an opportunity to blow, and she resolved to bury her biases as best she could and dedicate herself to writing as fair and as interesting an article as she was able.  Not knowing quite where to start she turned first to the web, where her editor had apparently gotten the idea.  She began perusing and familiarizing herself with the surprisingly innumerable sites that dealt with sadomasochism (SM), bondage and discipline (BD), and domination and submission (D/s), which seemed to be the basis and core of the subject at hand.  She had never before had any inclination to sample what she came to believe had to be predominantly male viewed venues.  But she had a job to do, and after immersing herself  for a time in these sites, she once again not only couldn’t see the attraction, she also came to realize that these sites, for the most part, only dealt with fantasies.  She supposed that some people might actually want to dabble in them for a kinky experience, but she strongly doubted that anyone could realistically live them on a full time basis.  This really couldn’t be what she was being asked to explore.

With this avenue of investigation thus seemingly fruitless except for her own ‘educational’ purposes, Erica began to search for related blogs.  She once again discovered far more of them than she had expected, including a fairly large number purportedly posted by women, as much as one could trust the web in that respect.  She again thought that most of the blogs also seemed to be designed for titillation rather than information, but she did come across a few that did appear to be trying to present an honest view of the lifestyle which the bloggers claimed to be living.

She began to read these few blogs far more extensively and in depth, and with one in particular she began to take advantage of the reader comment section to pose questions that she hoped would spark some meaningful and informative discussion.  Unfortunately, when anyone would respond to any of her queries, which wasn’t very often, it was only in the most general and unsatisfactory way.  Though she had been given a three month deadline for her article, she began to feel that she wasn’t making the necessary connections for the type of personal commentary which she felt the story needed.  Not knowing how else to proceed she took a chance, and in the comment section of the same blog she went on to identify herself , by name, as a reporter who was very interested in writing a serious and in depth article on the D/s femdom lifestyle, and would welcome a discussion with anyone involved who would like to share their experiences.  She left her email address for responses.

While she hadn’t been sure of what type of reaction her straightforward invitation might generate, she wasn’t quite prepared for the deluge of almost universal condemnation that resulted.  Among the many different negative attacks were those accusing her of betraying a trust on the blog, and others of her simply being a voyeur.  No one seemed to believe that she had any intention of producing anything more than a one sided media hatchet job.

Erica was stung by this onslaught, and although she thought the critics were being far too defensive and unfair, she did have to concede that her own underlying opinion on the whole concept was substantially negative, and that maybe there was more than a germ of truth in their concerns.  Just as these mainly antagonistic posts began to peter out, and she was beginning to truly despair that she was not going to be able to effectively and fairly gather enough real and personal information to present the in depth and enlightening view that the assignment demanded, she received one last email.  It was from a woman named Amy, who indicated that she and her husband were indeed living in a 24/7 D/s femdom relationship, and that she might be interested in relating her thoughts on the subject to the outside world.  She did have two conditions before proceeding however.  The first was that she had to verify that Erica was whom and what she said she was, and the second was that if so, any subsequent article written would change their names to protect their privacy.

Erica immediately posted back agreeing to both conditions and gave both the name of her newspaper and her editor, leaving it to Amy to independently make the appropriate inquiries.  She then sat on pins and needles until two days later her editor let her know that Amy had indeed contacted her by phone through the newspaper, and had seemed convinced of Erica’s legitimacy.  A day later Erica received a new post from Amy proposing a meeting for the interview and it was rapidly set up for a week later at Amy’s home.  It was to this arranged appointment on a mid Saturday afternoon that Erica was driving.

Her GPS brought her to the lovely cul-de-sac, but without Amy’s emailed directions she would have had difficulty finding the driveway to her house.  It wound down and around about fifty yards before coming to a modern and somewhat eclectic appearing two story home.  Though clearly in a neighborhood with other homes in the distance, it was set apart in a small valley surrounded by a wide variety of trees which afforded a very pleasant bucolic ambiance, and a significant degree of privacy as well.  Gathering up her equipment, and to some extent her courage as she clearly didn’t know quite what to expect, she proceeded to the front door.

Moments after ringing the chimed doorbell she was met as the door opened by a smiling, strikingly handsome man.  Standing about six foot two, he was athletically built, and Erica judged him to be in his mid to late thirties.  He was wearing a black crew neck sweater with a gray collared shirt beneath, and black slacks and shoes.  She took all of this in with her reporter’s eye in the few seconds it took for him to greet her.

“You must be Miss Erica.” he greeted her enthusiastically.  “Come in, please.”

“Um, yes ... Erica Brown.” she responded, taken a bit off stride by the appellation as she was ushered in.  “I guess you were expecting me.”

“Yes, of course.  It’s a very great pleasure to meet you.  My name is Raef, and anything that I can do for you while you’re here please don’t hesitate to let me know.”

“Well, thank you ... Raef.”

“It would be my privilege.  Now, Miss Amy is dying to meet you as well.  Let me take you to her in the living room.”

Following him through several immaculately clean, well appointed yet cozy rooms, they finally came to the living room where she was again slightly confounded.  While she hadn’t really anticipated a larger than life, leather clad, booted, whip wielding femme fatale, she wasn’t quite prepared for the petite, almost pixie-ish, vivacious seeming woman who was seated in an easy chair when they entered, but who bounded up and over to greet her.  Erica judged her to be no more than five foot two, slim with wavy brown hair that  reached just above her shoulders.  Undeniably pretty and cute, she certainly did not exude the severe, elegant appearance that one might have been expecting.  She was wearing a powder blue silk blouse with a pleated navy blue skirt that extended just below the knees of her bare legs.  Her feet were adorned with a pair of open toed pumps.

“Hi, I’m Amy.” she said with a huge smile.  “It’s really nice to finally meet the real person behind the computer screen.”

Erica smiled back.  “I agree.  Yes, I’m Erica Brown and it’s very nice to meet you as well.”

“Did you have any trouble finding the place?”

“No, my GPS got me to the cul-de-sac and then your directions guided me home.  I might have missed the driveway otherwise.”

“Yes, we are a little off the beaten track back here, but that does have its advantages.  I was thinking of having Raef stand at the top of the driveway to wait for you, but I didn’t want to scare you away.”

“Oh I think that I’m a bit more resilient that that.  And Raef,” turning back to him and smiling, “doesn’t look all that frightening to me.”

“Well he’s not of course, but I didn’t know what you might be expecting so I thought it best to let you just meet us both here.  In any event I’m sure that you’d like to get started, but before we dive into it, Raef’s prepared some small refreshments.” she said, indicating a platter of cheese and canapes on the table between two easy chairs.  “What would you like to drink to go with it?  We have iced tea, sparkling water, soda, even wine or beer if you’d like.”

“No alcohol.  I am at work after all.” she added to make sure it was understood that this wasn’t a social visit despite appearances, “but a glass of iced tea would be lovely.”

“Great.”  Amy turned and nodded to her husband.

“Right away, Ma’am.” he acknowledged and ventured off immediately.

Amy then guided Erica over to one of the two easy chairs, an overstuffed, very comfortable recliner.  After Erica had settled down in it Amy went over to the other chair and sat on the edge.  She then picked up the platter of cheese and canapes and offered it to Erica who sampled one, to be polite.  A moment later Raef returned with a tray carrying two tall glasses of iced tea, each garnished with a lemon slice and a mint leaf.  After serving Erica first and then Amy, he placed the tray on a side table and then came back and knelt down by the side of Amy’s chair, facing Erica, sitting back on his heels.  Amy placed her near hand possessively on the top of his head, then ran her fingers lightly down the back of his neck.  Seeing the slightly quizzical look on Erica’s face, she explained.

“I thought it would be useful to have Raef here with us during the interview in case you had any questions for him along the way.  And if we need anything he’s right here to fetch it for us.  Of course, if you mind ...”

“No, no, not at all.”  Erica assured her.  “I don’t mind at all.” although she was a bit disconcerted by the scene.  Despite his exceedingly pleasant and docile appearance, she couldn’t quite shake the impression of him in this position as almost like a guard dog.  Still, this was part of what she had come to explore first hand.

“Great.  Well, I’m sure that you’d like to get started.  I have to admit that I’m a little nervous about the whole thing.  I’ve never done anything like this before.”

“It’s going to be fine.  I don’t bite, believe me.”  She then winced internally about making such a reference to a self proclaimed Domme.  “I’d like you to do most of the talking any way.  It’s your story that the readers will be interested in.  I’ll just try to guide the conversation and maybe ask for clarification now and then.”  In reality Erica did want Amy to do most of the talking, but she did have a list of general questions in mind to fall back on in case she needed to step in to stop the Domme from potentially hijacking the interview if she happened to go on with a prolonged personal polemic.  “As we agreed your names will be changed for the article, as will any personal and specific geographic references, to protect your privacy.”  Erica pulled out her tape recorder and placed it on the table.  “With your permission I’d like to tape the interview, both to help with my recollection when I’m actually writing the piece, and also in the end to protect us all is case any of us feels that anything in the final article isn’t quite right or doesn’t represent fairly what was actually said.  And we’ll both get a copy of the transcript.”

“I think that’s a very good idea.”

“Okay then,” Erica said with a smile as she leaned forward to turn on the recorder.  “Shall we begin?”

“Yes.”  Amy said a bit hesitantly. “But before you ask any of your questions I’d like to say something for the record that I want to be sure is stated first and foremost in my part of the written article.”

“Of course Amy.  What is it you’d like to start off by saying?”

Amy took a deep breath.  This had not been an easy decision for her, even as she had been the one to make the first contact, and she did want her story to be told.  But she had cast her lot and it was time to get on with it, whatever the consequences.

“I just want to make it very clear from the outset, to you and your future readers, that I love my husband with my whole heart and soul, and that his happiness and well being is of the utmost and paramount importance in my life.”  She turned her face to look at Raef kneeling beside her and she smiled.  “And I know he adores me.” she said as she ran the back of her hand softly across the side of his face, and Erica saw him lean, almost imperceptibly, into it with a dreamy look. 

“The lifestyle and relationship we have and are living today didn’t happen overnight nor start at the very beginning,” she continued.  “We’ve been together for over ten years and married for eight.  We both had our inclinations from the start, and once we came to fully trust one another early on we began to play with them more and more.  As time went on however, we began to realize and understand that these inclinations were more than just kink for both of us, that they were a vital part of who and what we are, to ourselves and to each other, and so our relationship began to slowly grow and evolve into what it is today.  And we’re still growing and evolving as we continually discover new things about each other in this lifestyle that make each other tick.  But it’s always from the basis of caring for and about each other, with our love and trust for one another as the bedrock.”  She paused almost as if embarrassed.  “I just wanted to be sure to make that clear to everyone.” she added softly.  She then nodded to herself and smiled once again.  “Okay then Erica.  Your turn.  Fire away.”

Erica had not been expecting that kind of exposition to begin the interview and she was intrigued.  But it was as good a place to start as any to begin the exploration.

“Everything you just said in your obviously heartfelt statement, Amy, would seem to be what every ‘traditional’ couple would be trying to achieve and aspire to in a relationship.  What is it about yours that makes it different?”

Amy took a few moments to collect her thoughts before proceeding.  “I guess if I could sum it up with one word it would be ‘disparity’.”

“Disparity?  What do you mean by that?”

Another few seconds  Then ...

  “I think most ‘traditional’ couples as you call them approach their relationships trying to achieve some form of equality.  Not that they seek or accomplish it in every feature of their lives, but the goal is not to seek primacy over one another in any significant way.  Raef and I are just the opposite.  We strive and embrace disparity with each other in every way that we can.”

“Can you give me some examples of what you mean?”

“Let me think a moment.” and she then took several more.  “Okay,” she finally continued, “I’ll try to come up with a few.  Let me see then ... ‘ starting slowly, “How about ...”

“ ... I rest, he works ...”

“ ... I mess, he cleans ...”

“ ... I sit, he kneels ...”

“ ... I speak, he listens ...”

“ ... He suggests, I decide ...”

“ ...  I order, he obeys ...”

   She paused a moment, then continued, smiling.

“... I’m clothed, he’s naked ...”

  She paused again and her smile grew wider.

“ ... I cum, he doesn’t ...” 

She tousled his hair affectionately.  “That’s not an exhaustive list of course, but I think it gives you the flavor.  And we’re always looking for new ways in every facet of our lives to further express ourselves this way. But the most important thing to emphasize is that we both do fully embrace and revel in it, and it fuels every aspect of our lives together.”  She stopped once again.  “Is that enough?”

Erica was bemused for a moment.  “More than enough to get started with.” she eventually replied.  “Why don’t we begin with one of the simpler examples.  You said that you’re clothed and he’s naked, but I can’t help but notice how smartly dressed he is at the moment.”

Amy laughed.

“I guess that I have implied that we live this lifestyle 24/7, and in very real ways we do, but in general we only do it overtly in private.  The greater part of our lives are spent in public.  The large majority of our many friends, and all of our family members, as far as we know, live vanilla lives.  We share a great many happy and enjoyable times with all of them, and it wouldn’t be polite or particularly nice for us to be ‘in-your-face’ with them about our orientation.  Nor would it be prudent.  Raef is a highly successful executive in his company, the youngest Vice President in his firm.  He’s well thought of, well liked, and necessarily hard charging in his profession.  When we’re out together in the public he’s allowed to be forward, to speak first if necessary, to voice his opinions to others without my leave, and to appear to make expected decisions which don’t involve me, on his own.  He is always respectful and solicitous of me in these circumstances however, and I happily play the partner wife.  But the ‘real’ Raef is always on call.  It only takes a certain look from me for him to know that he needs to defer to me immediately, and we have a code word that signals to him that his instant obedience, while not to be made obvious, is nonetheless required.”

Amy stopped for a sip of her iced tea.

“But to get back to your original question.  Yes, when we’re home alone I do like to have Raef naked much if not most of the time.  I don’t think anything quite so visibly reinforces our relative stations than the fact that I can and do wear whatever I want, whenever I want, and he has no rights to any attire at all without my consent.” 

Her ever present smile grew even larger.

“And maybe the more important reason is that I truly savor the sight of his body and being able to oogle it any time that I desire.  You may not realize how extremely fit and trim he is, and I keep him on a strict diet and workout regimen to keep him so.  I’m also a very touchy-feely person and I especially like being able to pinch a nipple, or give him a crisp smack on the butt whenever I’m passing by ... or whenever I feel like it for that matter.  I also really enjoy idly fondling my ‘jewels’ when I’m sitting here reading a book or talking on the phone with a friend or whatever, and he’s kneeling by my side holding my drink or waiting to take care of any other need that I might have.”

Amy paused once again, a far away look in her eyes, and seemingly unconsciously began softly caressing the back of her husband’s neck.  After a few moments though she snapped her attention back to Erica.

“You might be wondering then why he’s not naked now even though we’re here at home.  Well, even though you’re well aware of our orientation and lifestyle, this is still a somewhat public situation we’re in, and I had no idea what your sensibilities might be, so I thought that it would have been very rude and insensitive of me to impose and flaunt something like that in front of you.”  She now smiled brightly again.  “But if it’s something you think you might enjoy, I’d be more than happy to have him strip for you.”

“No, no, that won’t be necessary at all.”  Erica hastily broke in.  She sought to rapidly, but subtly shift the focus of this particular topic.

“One of the things that I’ve read about is that a lot of Dommes like to dress up men in women’s clothes, to feminize or sissify them.  What are your thoughts on that?”

Amy sat back in her chair, pursed her lips, and chose her words carefully.

“I certainly don’t pretend to speak for all Dommes, or that Raef and I in any way represent all D/s relationships.  I guess that if some Dommes are into a form of gender-type reversal, and the Domme likes to be more ‘masculine’ and dress like it, and then likewise feminize and even sissify her male, there might be something to that.” 

She frowned for the first time of the afternoon. 

“To each Domme her own of course, but I have to admit that I just don’t get that.  I AM a woman and proud of it.  I like to be feminine and alluring ... even sexy, and dress appropriately to show it.  If the Woman is supposed to be the ideal, of the highest order as it is and should be, how is it in any way humiliating for a male to be dressed in her clothing.  To me that would exalt him and grant him a status that is in no way warranted.”

 

She now sat forward again and her buoyant smile returned. 

“As I said before, I like my boy manly and buff.”  She patted her husband on his head.  “... and for the most part in the buff.”

“So am I to take all of that to mean that you think that women are inherently superior to men?”

“Not at all.  In the outside world we are all equal under the sun, and all should be treated as such .  But in our ‘real’ private world, where we all live the lives that we want to live, we all have our specific roles to play.  Some are meant to rule and others to serve.  And more and more women are naturally gravitating to the first, while many more men are coming to understand that they are more suited for the latter.  This doesn’t make one superior and the other inferior, or in any way better or worse as people.  But if a couple can come to accept and embrace this as the natural order of their being, that there is no longer a question in their relationship as to primacy, then there will never be any further battles over primacy, with the ongoing contentions, stress and arguments that always accompany it.  Instead there is happiness and contentment as both take pride and joy in fulfilling their acknowledged and accepted roles.”

Now it was Erica’s turn to sit back for a moment.  She had to concede that there was a certain internal logic to the ideas that Amy espoused, even as it flew in the face of everything that Erica believed.  But she wasn’t here to debate.  She was here to gather information for her readers.  She suspected that as she delved deeper, Amy’s self proclaimed utopian vision would begin to show cracks and fall apart.  She leaned forward again to continue.

“You certainly present an enticing picture.” she admitted, “but let’s get on to the nitty gritty of it’s everyday existence.  If we could move on to another one of your examples.  You say that ‘you speak and he listens’.  You also mentioned before that in public you allow him a certain measure of ... unencumbered speech, if you will. Am I to take it then that at home, in private, he has to remain silent?”

“Of course not.” Amy protested with a bit of a snort.  “Raef is the most intelligent, interesting, entertaining, and the funniest person I have ever been around.  I love listening to him and getting his thoughts and opinions at length, and interacting and debating with him on any number of subjects.  But there is something to be said, and greatly desired, to have any of that occur only at times and places of my choosing and with my permission.  So no, Raef doesn’t speak without my permission, but I give it often and usually enjoy it very much when I do.  It’s also nice to know that he will stop immediately when I tell him that I’ve had enough.  I want and need him to have freedom of thought and speech, but only at those times that I grant it.  And I’m a bit of a chatterbox myself, and there’s nothing like being able to go on and on about anything at all on my mind, and having the most important person in my life raptly hanging onto my every word.”  Amy ended that thought with a soft sigh.

“So I guess that’s what you meant when you said that ‘he suggests but you decide’.”

“Yes of course.  As I said, he is the brightest person I know.  I’d be a fool not to solicit and value his opinions and advice, and I often follow it, and even at times I find that he can change my mind.  But the final decision on everything is mine, and once I make it he knows to toe the line.”

“Thus then, ‘you order and he obeys’.”

“Exactly.  Without question.”

“And does that also extend to you having complete control over all of the financial aspects of your relationship?  You having all the money and assets, and he having none?”

Amy smirked.  “I know that might be popular with some Dommes, but that’s not at all what our relationship is about.  And why should I have to worry about the grunt work of accounting.  He’s much better suited for that type of thing anyway.  I do set the broad parameters, but I also allow him a fair degree of freedom in discretionary spending.  He is a very responsible person after all, and he does have a very important position to maintain in the outside world.  I do require him to report it all back to me though, in minute detail.  And of course he does cede final authority to me for any major expenditures.”

“It all sounds so neat and tidy.  But I can’t believe that there aren’t times of disagreement, when he feels put upon and just can’t handle everything that you demand.”

Amy pursed her lips as she considered her reply.

“Well, nobody’s perfect.  Naturally there are times when he doesn’t quite meet my expectations, when he’s tired and cranky and doesn’t want to do what’s required of him.  And he might quietly whine and moan, and, if he thinks he’s out of sight and earshot, he might even actually grumble and complain and be a bit laggard in his duties.  Those are the times that he has to be firmly reminded that this is all part of the deal, that his submission and service are not just when he feels up to it, but all of the time, under all circumstances, however and for whatever I decree.  Those are the times that require discipline.  From me, and for him.”

“By discipline I take it you mean punishment.”

“That may at times be a necessary part of it.”

“Well, I’d like to get back to that in a moment, but first I have to ask.  If he’s out of sight and out of earshot, how do you know when he’s complaining or rebelling?”

The smile returned to Amy’s lips.

“I think I’ve come up with a pretty good solution for that.  I actually got the idea from an interesting fictional D/s story I once read, and I’ve made it a regular event and ritual for us.  Once a week, Raef comes and kneels before me and confesses all of his transgressions and mistakes of the prior week.  Depending on the number and severity I then determine an appropriate penance for him.”

“But if many, if not most of these ‘transgressions’ are committed out of your sight and without your knowledge, how can you know that he’s being fully forthcoming?”

“Ah, that’s the ingenious part of it, as the story made clear.  Raef never can be sure what I do and don’t know, and if he ever leaves anything out, however insignificant, well, let’s just say that his ‘penance’ will be more than appropriately amplified.  So I think you can see why he always makes every effort to be as comprehensive as possible in detailing his faults to me.”

“And by penance I guess you mean punishment.  Do you ...”  Erica glanced at the kneeling Raef and internally winced but she had to ask,

“ ... whip him?”

“Oh Good God, no.”  Amy responded, truly aghast.  She took a second to compose herself.  She finally continued.  “Look, I realize that many people may think that S&M is part and parcel of every D/s relationship, and maybe for some it is.  But even in those cases I think that it’s more of a particular kink that they indulge in, rather than the primary focus of the relationship.  And I suspect it’s the male masochists that are the driving force there.  I find it very hard to believe that there are very many people, including most Dommes, who truly like to inflict significant pain just for pain’s sake.  Oh maybe a little spanking or paddling as a part of foreplay, but that’s play, not punishment.  Punishment, when administered in this regard is meant purely and simply to ensure proper service.  I suppose that with some people this could be corporeal in nature, but I’m not into that kind of thing at all.  I don’t like or want to ever cause anyone real physical pain, most especially the one whom I love.  Discomfort can be part of my discipline process, but I think that the mental, more so than physical discomfort better drives home what needs to be contemplated.”

“I have a whole variety of suitable punishments that I use depending on the level and number of transgressions.  It can be as simple as forbidding him from watching a sporting event on TV that he had been looking forward to.  I also find corner time to be an effective tool.  There’s nothing like having him kneeling naked in the corner, hands on top of the head, with his nose pressed up against the wall for an hour or two to help him focus on his failures.  Revoking other desired privileges can also work very well.  As he is my husband and love bunny, I do want and allow him to sleep with me each night, cuddled together.  But if I’m particularly perturbed by something some evening there’s nothing like having him spend the night on the floor at the foot of my bed, with a thin blanket to keep out the cold, but no pillow.  The next morning usually finds him much more compliant than ever.”

“For those very rare but more serious lapses, adding a substantial amount of totally useless labor to his already extensive schedule of necessary chores usually does the trick.  Our rather large woodpile outside has been moved from one side of our property to the other several times over the years for example.”

“These ‘disciplines’ that you describe seem to involve  heavy doses of humiliation.”  Erica interjected.  “Isn’t humiliation part of the allure for a submissive, and doesn’t that sort of defeat the purpose of the punishment?”

“You’re right of course.  It is indeed true that humiliation can be quite enjoyable for both Domme and sub when it’s part of playtime.” Amy responded.  “When it comes to punishment though, while the humiliation might initially be somewhat  titillating, it doesn’t take long in the corner before the knees start to growl, the nose starts to itch, and the crushing boredom begins.  Or for the entire body to stiffen when trying to sleep on a hardwood floor.  Or the arms, back and legs begin to ache and throb when uselessly toting and stacking logs from one end of the yard to the other.  Believe me, any possible excitement fades very rapidly, and the lessons being taught are quickly learned under those circumstances.”

“But what you really need to understand though, Erica, is that my husband truly wants to be the best servant to me that he can be.  That is what makes him happy and content.  He thus relies on such direction and structure from me to help him achieve it .  For most men in your ‘traditional’ marriages the ‘Honey Do’ list is treated  with derision and scorn, and as something to be avoided for as long as possible.  For Raef, his daily ‘Honey Do’ list has become something of a Holy Writ.”

Amy now stopped, almost as if to catch her breath, and looked down at her now empty glass of iced tea.

“Well I must say that I’m a bit parched after all of that, and it appears that I could use a refill of my drink.”  She looked over at Erica’s also empty glass.    “And it looks as if you could as well.  What do you say that we take a short break while Raef attends to that.”

Erica nodded assent.  She needed some time to digest everything that had transpired so far, and this would allow her to refocus her thoughts for what she was sure would prove to be the thornier issues and questions to come.

And Raef scrambled up to scurry off to see to the ladies’ further refreshment.