'Five Years' Copyright 1987 by The Lizzard
Part -1, Chapter -1
It was a bright August day, the sun was hot and the temperature was not too
high. There was a little note of the fall crispness to come in the air. It
was one of those days when I got up early to do a little riding before work.
I got the 76 BMW R90/6 out of the garage, started her up, closed the garage
door, turned on the radio and rode off. After a quick ride to Jones Beach I
headed to work. I was on Union Turnpike, a major thoroughfare in Queens, New
York, when I saw her at the bus stop. She was lovely ... tall, slim, long
reddish brown hair ... and she was waiting for the bus to go to work. She was
wearing a very conservative full length summer dress which hid almost every
part of her body except her wrists, ankles and face. She carried a small
reddish brown ladies' attache case instead of a pocketbook. She wore
sunglasses and stood tall and straight.
I pulled over to the curb and said hello to her. She looked at me and just
nodded, very cooly. I asked if she was on her way to work. She said she was
and that the bus was late, as usual. I asked if she would like a lift. She
looked at me and said that she would not get on that THING even if her life
depended upon it. I took immediate offense to that remark, told her to FUCK-
OFF and rode to my office.
Three days later I took the same ride and saw her again, this time it was a
little later. I pulled over to the curb.
"So you live here, huh?"
She looked at me and said that the bus was really late and if she were
late again, she would be fired.
"Well, does your life depend on it now?" I asked.
She asked how long it would take to get to work and I told her 20-25
minutes. She asked if I was a safe driver. I told her that any answer I would
give to that was purely subjective and therefore of no consequence.
"I'm wearing a dress, how can I get on that thing?", a little panic was in
her voice.
I told her since she was wearing a dress that was much too long and much
too loose that it was easy.
"What's your name?"
"John"
"John what?"
"Just John, are you coming, I don't have all day."
OK, but drive slowly."
She got on, tucked all of the excess fabric of her dress under her legs so no
one would get a glimpse of anything above the ankle and we took off.
As far as taking it slow, well I have a problem with that. I tend to get
from point A to point B as quickly and efficiently as possible. The Long
Island Expressway is always fair game for a motorcyclist when he passes the
jammed cars. I never thought she had the strength to hold on as tightly as she
did. I think her eyes were closed all the way.
I finally got to her office building, 18 minutes flat. She got off and
just stood there shaking. I have the feeling she was as shaken by the ride as
by the earliness of her arrival. She was over an hour early for work,
something that had not taken place since her interview for the job.
"So, how was it?"
"Scary, but fun."
"Do you have a name?"
"Linda."
"Linda, what?"
"Just Linda."
I thought of asking her if she would like to get together later, but
thought better of it. I rode off telling her to have a nice day.
Two weeks later was the beginning of Indian summer. In New York this is
the most beautiful of seasons. The air was crisp and clean, something that
almost never happens here. I got up early and took another ride to Jones Beach
before work. Yep, you guessed it, on my way there she was waiting for a bus.
I pulled over and said hello Just Linda. She laughed and asked if I was going
to work. The second ride, much less scary than the first, was a lot more
comfortable and she relaxed a bit. We exchanged phone numbers and made
arrangements to meet after work, if she could. She was to call and let me know
what time she was to get out.
She never called, so I figured she wasn't interested. Oh well, that's the
way it goes sometimes. I thought about it and, what the hell, I wanted to see
her. I figured that since she had to be at work at 9:00, she would be out at
5:00. I took a chance.
When I arrived at 5:00, she was just coming out of the building with four of
her friends from work. They started to kid her about Hell's Angles and so
on. She just got on, they said to be careful and we drove off with her four
friends waving to us.
After about ten minutes she said she was hungry, she had had no lunch. We
stopped at a Greek restaurant, parked right outside (always unusual for
Manhattan) and went inside. I could tell this ride had un-nerved her a bit,
she was shaking a little. We took a table over in the corner, I ordered two
Ouzo's on the rocks and settled into talk.
After some small talk, four more Ouzo's each, and a long story about why
she had not called me, she was very busy and did not have much privacy in her
office, I asked her if she enjoyed the ride. She said that she had liked it
and at the same time was very afraid. She was wondering if this had anything
to do with her enjoyment, however small, of the bike. I told her that I
couldn't explain that to her now.
The evening went on and around 11:00 she said we had better be going. It
was OK with me since I had figured that she was too young and tied too closely
to her family to continue the relationship. I took her home on the bike and
the most extrodinary thing happened. She asked me to come in to meet her
family. I told her no, I don't meet parents, they never like me and it only
causes trouble all around. I left her at the door and said good night.
On Thursday night she called me. We talked briefly and agreed to see each
other again the following Saturday. I would use the bike and dress as I was
comfortable, she would wear jeans and ride with me. I would pick her up at her
house and meet her parents, but if there was anything negative from them, the
whole thing was off. I made it clear to her that I did not want any hassels.
Saturday came, I showed up at the house on time and she answered the door. She
was wearing jeans, very tight at that, and a red nylon sleeveless shell
top. I had never noticed what a spectacular figure she had. Her long hair was
in a pony tail and as she walked through the hallway I definitely could see
that she had a fantastic ass, the type of ass designers like Jordache had been
born for.
She introduced me to her parents, they were in their early sixties.
Evidently, she was the baby they had been wanting for a long time and this
immediately explained the overprotective environment she lived in.
I usually never get along with parents of anyone I date, but this was very
different. Her father and I hit it off like two old army drinking buddies. We
talked together for over three hours about his experiences with motorcycles in
the 1930's. Some of the things he had done were incredible. Her mother came
into the living room and invited Linda and I to stay for dinner. I said yes
without even asking Linda.
Linda and I never did get out that night. At 2:30am I said I had a
wonderful evening and I hated to go, but it was late. Her dad said I could see
Linda anytime and he looked forward to seeing me again. Linda showed me to the
door, told me that she was very glad her parents liked me and gave me a
goodnight kiss with her tongue that felt like she had gone down to my toes. I
told her I would see her again.
********************************************************************
'Five Years' Copyright 1987 by The Lizzard
Part - 1, Chapter -2
On the way home I thought to myself "If her old man knew the lust that I
have for his little girl, would he be so glad to see me again?"
I called her on Tuesday and we arranged to meet on Wednesday after work.
When the time came I picked her up in my car, as it was a very dreary wet day.
When she got in she immediately gave me another one of those kisses. I told
her not to start anything that she did not want to finish. She was still for a
moment and said she did want to finish it. Forty minutes later we were at my
apartment and three minutes later we were in bed. It wasn't the jeans that had
shaped this body, she was really built ... long, lean, young and tight.
She had very little experience in expressing her emotions, there were so
many things she had never done before, I felt like her teacher. Here I was
with someone 16 years younger than myself, beautiful and willing to do what?
And why?
I took her home around 3:15am. She said "Thank you for a beautiful
evening, I hope I didn't disappoint you. I have to see you tomorrow, please".
I told her she was not a disappointment and that I was busy during the day, but
she could meet me at my place later. She agreed.
When I got home on Thursday, she was there and we went inside. She was
very upset. I asked her if her parents had caused her problems. She said no,
they like me very much and that it was something else.
To make a long story short she had split up with her fiance only three days
before the wedding. She had been engaged for 2 years to this guy and had never
had sex with him, in fact she had never had sex with anyone until then. He had
wanted to, but she was deeply religious and did not. Finally she gave in and
it was a disaster. She told him that she never wanted to see him again and
cancelled the wedding. She had told her mother what happened and she
understood.
When she had met me something clicked and she had desires she didn't
understand. When she had gotten home after that first night in bed together,
she told her mother what had happened between us and her mother understood.
She didn't know if it was love or what she felt for me, only that it was more
than she had ever thought she could feel for anyone.
We spent the rest of that evening in bed exploring her desires. It got so
late, I took her straight to work the next day and she called me later to say
that it was OK with mom and pop. I was very surprised. I did not think that
parents could be that way.
I was to see her on Saturday afternoon to take advantage of the dwindling
Indian Summer riding days. A bit apprehensive, I rang the bell. Her dad
answered. OH SHIT! I thought, here is trouble. He said that she was not ready
yet and he wanted to talk to me. OH SHIT, again! We went into the living room
and I expected a real tirade, instead he said "John, you have made my daughter
very happy and for this I am grateful. I want you to continue to be with her
and give her empty life meaning. She has had a very bad experience with a
previous person, he was a real bum and we knew it from the beginning. I am
thankful it is over and that she did not marry him. She has a lot of hurt in
her over this and you are helping that. You may see her as long as you like,
but I do not want you to just push her aside. Is there anyone else that is of
significance to you at this time?". I told him that I was not involved with
anyone else and would not be as long as I was maintaining my relationship with
Linda.
She came into the room and dad said that we should have fun and not worry
about getting home. Later I asked her about that and she said he knew she
would be staying with me that night and he approved. I was still in a state of
shock over his attitude. Maybe some parents have their shit together.
Over the next five or six weeks we would spend the weekends together, some
starting as early as Wednesday. Finally I asked her if she would like to move
in. She said she had hoped I would ask her that. We cleared it with mom and
dad and it happened.
I have a large apartment, 7 rooms, rent stabilized, in a not so great
neighborhood. She helped me repaint and redecorate. It was fun. Things went
very well until about a month later when things got better.
I had been reading Penthouse's new magazine VIVA when an article about
bondage came up. She seemed fascinated with the idea of how someone could
derive any pleasure out of being tied up. I decided to show her.
I secreted several 36" pieces of leather bootlaces under the pillow and
after we went to bed and she was sitting on my face, I took one of the laces
with one hand and put her hands behind her with the other. I quickly tied her
hands together right before she came. She exploded with her orgasm and nearly
fainted. I left her tied for a while as she came back to earth. All she could
say was "WOW".
She slept soundly and in the morning it seemed as if she could not believe
what had happened. We talked about it at length and she said she wanted to
come that strongly all the time and that whatever I could do to achieve that
was fine with her. Sounded good to me.
While we were watching TV the next Friday night, she came over to the chair
where I was sitting and kneeled next to me. She said she felt that this was
her rightful place, kneeling by my side. I also agreed with her.
Over the next few months various items found their way into my apartment
... assorted collars, wrist restraints, ankle restraints, dildos, blindfolds,
hoods, gags, etc. Our bed started to have discrete attachments for clipping
into various restraints. Her orgasms were beginning to be of concern to me. I
was wondering if anyone ever died from too much pleasure. I went to the extent
of consulting with a gynecologist about the extreme intensity of the climaxes
and was assured that no one had ever cum-to-death. Just checking.
********************************************************************
'Five Years' Copyright 1987 by The Lizzard
Part - 1, Chapter -3
By this time we had been together for almost eight months. Everything was
fine with her parents, jobs were going well, the winter was mild, and basically
all was right with the world. Linda was becoming a bit unhappy with her job,
so I suggested she go to college. She applied to Queens College and got in.
This was a blessing in disguise because our sexual activities had become
totally the dominant force in our lives. I was spending most of my time
thinking of different ways to tie her up and she was spending most of her time
being tied up in those ways. Our work lateness records were stretched to the
limit, we had no time for any friends, we had not seen her mom and dad for
months and in short, we had become obsessed. This was my first stage in
learning that it is not how often you do something but how well it is done.
We had decided that she was going to take a full 12 credits, after all she
was getting on in years and she did not want to be a student the rest of her
life. When you hit 21, isn't it all downhill? I kidded her that after 21 the
brain starts to deteriorate and learning is harder. She was in class three
nights a week and with homework, this diminished the available time for sex.
It also gave me some time to relax a bit and expand my ideas.
I had taken one of the rooms that was used primarily for storage and moved
all the stuff to a storage warehouse. I put a lock on the door and would work
in there while she was at school. I never let her into that room until it was
finished.
The room was 17'x20' in size. I painted the walls a dark grey and spent
many hours painting freehand so the effect of stone was achieved. I installed
beams across the ceiling that were solid, not just decorative. I installed on
one of the walls, a large cross made of wood with many large screw eyes through
which to pass rope. I built a stock, similar to the kind the Puritans used.
After all, what was good for them should be good for someone as pure as myself,
right? I also built a bench/horse combination. I put up several shelves and
racks to hold anything necessary. I installed a wench system secured to the
ceiling and tethered to one of the vertical beams. I put simulated slate vinyl
tiles on the floor. Several track lighting arrangements in various colors of
bulb, all fully equipped with dimmers, were also installed. At several garage
sales I located decorative swords, axes, daggers, plaques, coats of arms,
marble cupids (from an Italian sale in Howard Beach) and basically anything
that seemed to fit the motif of the room.
The first semester ended with Linda getting 3-A's and a B+. I had also
finished my puttering and figured we had two and half weeks between semesters.
She had some vacation time left as did I, so we decided to take off the two
weeks following Christmas.
Her curiosity had really peaked about the room, since she had no idea of
what was going on in there. I, on the other hand, had a certain uneasiness
about it since I had put things in there I was almost certain we would never
use, strictly for atmosphere. The charcoal brassiere in the corner was one of
these items. I had purchased it at a theatrical garage sale, complete with
about 7 branding irons.
We had Christmas dinner with mom and dad, and went home late and stuffed.
Christmas day was very quiet, all was right with the world and everything was
on an even strain. Christmas time has always been especially depressing for a
lot of old reasons, but this year it was mellow.
Linda kept asking me about the room. I told her she would find out later. I
went to the corner for a cigar and upon returning I saw her kneeling in front
of the door to the room with a flashlight, trying to look in. I went over to
her and told her that she had been naughty and deserved a spanking. Until this
time I had not entered into anything but bondage, no hitting or pain of any
type. She stopped trying to look into the room, stood up and gently undid the
tie from her robe and let her thin robe fall to the floor completely exposing
her beautiful body in the soft room light. She came over to me, knelt in front
of me, bowed her head and said she had been a bad girl and deserved a spanking.
IT WAS TIME TO OPEN THE ROOM.
********************************************************************
'Five Years' Copyright 1987 by The Lizzard
Part - 1, Chapter -4
As she knelt in front of me I tied her hands in front of her body, promised
her a spanking, blindfolded her, lead her towards the room and unlocked the
door. I took her to the center of the room and affixed her bound wrists to the
pulley mechanism. I raised it enough so her arms were above her head and she
was on her tiptoes. I then put a gag in her mouth, adjusted the lighting and
removed her blindfold. After all, didn't she say she wanted to SEE the room?
As a final touch, I bound her ankles together so she could not kick and hurt
herself.
"So, you were curious? You could not wait for me to show this to you. Let me
give you a tour. Over here on the right we have various whips and paddles
to be used when you are naughty. Here we have several dildos of different
sizes to be used when I wish. Here we have the cross to which you will be
bound and rendered completely helpless. This is the stock where you will be
put when I wish you to be in a semi-bending position. This is the horse when I
require a fully bent position. These are various items you may have seen
before. This collar will be worn by you at all times." I put the 4" high black
leather collar around her neck. It had several D-rings on it for future usage.
"What are these? These are my collection of nipple clamps. Yes, for your
nipples. This is the lightest, merely a pair of clothes pins painted black and
attached together with a light chain. These others are for later". With that
I placed both clamps on her nipples at once.
She winced in pain, but after a few minutes I could see her stomach muscles
ripple in excitement. I gave the crank a couple of turns and she was raised an
inch or so off the floor. I sat down in one of the two chairs in the room.
One was a bistro type with the wire back and this one was a large, very
comfortable, black leather chair. I had placed a small marble table next to it
and on this table was a cigar humidor and a crystal ashtray. I took a cigar,
cut the end, lit it and sat back to see what would happen.
"So my lovely, how do you like our new playroom? What's that? Oh yes, the
gag. Well that will stay for now. You are very lucky I let you see this. I
could have always kept you blindfolded and you would never know what was here.
What is this? Looks like a long feather from an unlucky peacock. It is quite
long, as a matter of fact I can reach you with it from here. After all, you
would not want me to have to get up when I am so comfortable."
I took the long feather and ran it down the inside of her right arm. I
have always wondered what makes a person ticklish. Now I can wonder what makes
a person hyper-ticklish. It was truly amazing, all I had to do was touch her
with the feather and she literally exploded in a series of spasms. Normally
she was not ticklish at all. I used to wonder why some people were ticklish
while others weren't. Oh yes, if I would sneak up behind her and poke her in
the ribs she would give the occasional jump now and then, but this was
unbelievable. With each time I brought the feather near I could see her eyes
widen in anticipation. When I would touch her with the feather those same eyes
would close in ecstasy. This went on until I finished my cigar. The Canary
Island long filler blend with the Connecticut medium wrapper was very good.
Linda hung there for about an hour. The nipple clamps had obviously not
been an encumbrance to her, so I logically concluded that they were too loose
to provide any sensation. I got up, walked over to her and gave the clips a
little squeeze. Much to my surprise and satisfaction, she came as I tightened
the clips. I undid the center of the chain holding the two clips together and
attached the chains to the D-rings in the collar. The chains were obviously
for a shorter person, Linda is 5'8" and rather well endowed. The chains were
stretched tight from her nipples to the collar. It was a magnificent sight,
her floating there with these perfect tits uplifted ever so slightly by a light
chain ending with two clamps on a pair of rock hard nipples. The constant
tension seemed to provide constant arousal.
I watched her for awhile, noticing that she was in a near state of
delirium. Her breathing was deep and steady. She made little animal noises
like grunts, which were difficult to discern because of the gag, but seemed to
mount to a minor frenzy. Satisfied that her condition was physically stable I
decided to go a little further.
"Oh yes, I almost forgot, we came in here to give you a spanking for being
nosey, didn't we?"
With that I moved the horse in front of her. I put the ankle restraints on
both ankles, securing the left ankle to the base of the horse and the right
ankle to the other side. Her legs were spread and secured firmly to each leg
of the horse. I uncliped the top of the pulley mechanism and rerouted the rope
through the guide on the floor in front of the horse. As I further cranked,
Linda's wrists were forced downward in front of the horse until she was finally
bent over the horse, unable to move. I strolled over to the wall with the
whips and paddles on it. After selecting a rather innocuous paddle, I stood in
front of Linda's bentover body.
"I have chosen the instrument which will be used for your spanking. Would
you like to see it?"
As I held it almost in her view, she tried to raise her head but the
tension on the nipples was too much for her. She would raise a little and
experience obvious pleasure and when she came up too much the intensity of the
pain forced her to stop. So, there is a limit?
I walked around behind Linda. God, she had a magnificent ass. Perfectly
shaped and always ready for anything I wanted. In some ways it seemed wrong to
hit so beautiful a creation, but after all a promise is a promise and being a
man of my word, what was I to do?
The first stroke was a little harder than I had wanted it to be, but the
reaction was definite. I could tell from the quivering that she was near
orgasm again. A little harder. She winced and lifted her head higher this
time. The third time - same strength, same reaction. The fourth was the same.
The fifth was significantly harder. To my surprise she came in the most
violent orgasm that I had ever witnessed. She went completely limp and started
to whimper softly.
Since she had sustained her punishment for her transgression, it seemed
time to release her from her situation. I released her ankles first, then her
hands, then her gag, finally I removed the collar and nipple clamps and then
something happened. She lifted her head, looked at me, put her arms around my
neck, kissed me very softly, buried her head in my shoulder and said very
softly "Thank you".
The next few days were a bit hectic. At that time I was in touch with much of
my family and it seemed as if at least three of them were dropping in on us
every hour of every day. Most of them, to look down their noses at Linda and I
for living together without benefit of marriage. Thankfully, they all finally
left.
We had had little time to spend together during these days. The usual
aunts and uncles that had come great distances of at least 3 or 4 miles and as
such, naturally assumed that staying until the wee hours was totally expected.
It was times like this that I had seriously considered putting up a sign that I
was not home, not that that would stop MY relatives.
By the time we would get to bed, we both had headaches that would kill an
elephant. We had no time to ourselves in our own home. This was a piss poor
situation and I had wanted to discuss what went on in the room Christmas night.
I wanted to know how she felt and what was to happen. Finally the opportunity
came.
We had a New Year's Eve Party to go to. I had dressed and was watching her
dress. She was to wear a black vee neck slinky dress. As she started dressing
she took out some underwear that was new, a garter belt and black seamed
stockings. This is something that she had NEVER worn before and had said that
she felt very uncomfortable in this type of underwear. Tonight was different.
She also took out a new pair of boots. She looked at me and said "It's going
to be cold and wet tonight, I think I'll need boots for warmth."
These boots created a warmth of their own. They were a shinny black paten
leather with six inch spike heels and went over the knee. She put them on and
stood up, turned to me and said "What do you think?". She didn't have to ask
twice. Three minutes later I had finished the phone call to our friends
telling them Linda had eaten something that did not agree with her and we would
not be there tonight. So sorry, but what could I do.
I placed the collar around her neck and attached the nipple clamps to the
D-rings. She knelt before me as I was to put the clamps onto her nipples. She
said "Make them tighter this time, please." I obliged and could see the ripple
of pain and pleasure go through her body. I attached a thin leash to one of the
D-rings and lead her to the door of THE ROOM. As I unlocked it, she knelt
again and said "Take me farther this time, please, I love it."
Inside the room, I placed the leather wrist restraints and ankle restraints on
her, tightened them securely, and attached them to the pulley mechanism. I
raised her arms so she was a good foot off the ground and attached her ankles
so her legs were spread wide apart and forward of her body. She looked like a
kid on a swing going forward. I sat down in the chair and reached for the
feather.
After a hour or so of tickling her I started to hit her with the feather on
her ass. She said harder, harder. I soon realized that a feather was no match
for this luscious and willing ass. I picked up a riding crop and hit her
rather hard across both cheeks. She flinched and said "Thank you, my love,
again please, please, please." After twenty strokes, each one harder than the
one before, my arm became tired. She was near orgasm, but not quite. I
reached for the cat-o-nine, a leather whip with about twenty leather strands in
it. I showed it to her and said "I will finish you with this." She looked at
me and said "Do it as only you can."
The first stroke left many red trails on those beautiful cheeks. She
flinched and came furiously. Another stroke, this time harder, and again she
came. Over and over for an hour or more, she kept coming more and more
intensely until finally I took a wide leather strap, stepped in front of her
and enterred her. With each stroke I hit her soft red ass with the strap from
behind and she screamed for more. I fucked her for what seemed like an
eternity. She was in constant orgasm, constricting her vaginal muscles around
my swollen cock. I never knew anyone could have that much muscle tone there.
Finally I came deep within her. She screamed "Oh GOD!" and fainted.
Uncertain as to her condition after all this, I felt for a pulse. It was
racing but there. What to do now? I let her down slowly and held her until
she regained consciousness. She looked up at me with her soft blue eyes and
said "I never knew anything could be that good."
********************************************************************
'Five Years' Copyright 1987 by The Lizzard
Part - 1, Chapter -5
It was 4:20am, she had collapsed and I carried her to the bedroom. I
placed her on the sheets and looked at her body. There were welts and whip
marks on that perfect ass but there was a smile on her face that was total. I
had never seen her this happy before.
I slept till 9:00pm the following day and when I awakened she was holding me
firmly, something she did not usually do as she preferred to sleep stretched
out on the bed rather than cuddled-up. I kissed her gently and she made a soft
purring sound.
Later at what was to be breakfast, around 11:00pm, she had a great deal of
trouble sitting down. She was really sore but every time she went to sit, she
moaned with pleasure.
We stayed awake for a few hours and then decided to go to bed. We slept in
each others arms till 8:30am and then got up, showered, dressed and went out to
a local place for brunch. She was very quiet and stayed very close to me
during the whole brunch. I said very little beyond what should we order and
like that. For some reason she seemed to have a glow about her that I had
never seen before. She was absolutely radiant.
When we got home I told her that I wanted to discuss this whole thing. She
said "My love, do not worry about what we do together. You know how to make me
feel things that I have never felt or never thought could exist. I am very
sore and I don't think that I can do anything like last night for a little
while. I loved it and I know now that I needed it. I want to go further, but
not now. I love you with all of my being and gratefully submit to anything
that you can devise for me."
I just sat there, somewhat dumbfounded at what I had heard. The next few
days saw the return of work and school. Time was again short and since it was
my busiest season at the office, we had little time for anything but rather
short and somewhat straight sex.
Friday afternoon came and she called me at my office and asked if I had the
time to go out that night. I told her we needed to get out a little, so she
should come to my office after work and we could go from there.
I had brought the car to work since it had snowed the day before and there
was a lot of ice on the roads. A motorcycle in New York is usually good all
year round since the streets are always so warm from the steam pipes under
them. There are some exceptions and this was one of them.
She showed up at 6:15 with a copy of the Village Voice. In there she had
found a place on Grand Street called THE PROJECT. I called the number and
heard a recording about a survey from Penthouse magazine and the enactment of
fantasies on stage. Sounded interesting, so we went.
80 Grand Street, up one flight and into a dingy theatre setting we went.
Sitting on the floor with several couples on large pillows, the show began.
One man and one beautiful tall blonde lady enacted about 12 fantasies from many
letters they had received. 10 of them were very funny, complete with punch
lines like "She can't come to the phone now, she's all tied up".
After the performance the audience was invited to ask questions and
participate as much as they wished. One man sitting next to us spoke in a very
hoarse voice. He apologized for this and explained he had just been through
Primal Scream Therapy. He also said something that was very interesting ... If
you repress your fantasies, then they become obsessions and fetishes. You then
exhibit abnormal behavior and become deviant. If you allow your fantasies to
get out, then you are healthy. So much for pop psychology and the screams of
the primal crowd.
We went to dinner and afterwards sat in the booth talking for hours about
what we had seen that night. What was normal, if anything was? How far from the
"usual sexual behavior" had we come and why? We reached no conclusions about
anything. I think it was that night we realized we had a very special type of
relationship going and neither one of us wanted anything to happen to it.
I had never told her that I loved her. In fact, I told her that I did not
believe in love. I believed that my capability for love had died many years
ago in a far away war. I really believed that I had no real deep feelings left
inside of me. I had never given it much thought till now. I left the evening
thoroughly convinced that I did not want to understand any of this. I was not
interested in changing anything, nor was I interested in analyzing any of it.
I asked her if I had hurt her when I whipped her. She said there was real
pain, but also a tremendous amount of intense pleasure and she would gladly
endure anything so she could feel that way again. She also said I was the only
one she would ever let touch her. This I did not know the significance of
until much later.
We went home and made love in several conventional ways. (At this time, you
must realize that conventional involved bondage, but no hitting, clamps, etc. -
that soon changed and with it, every part of both of our lives.
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End of '5 Years' Part 1
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