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Chapter 34. Taking Back My Power
The author wishes to thank Corsair for his contributions to Rachel’s story.
Soon after the conversation in which the Masterson psychologist, Paul Gregory had suggested to me a career in advocacy, I interviewed with Bud Williamson at the Williamson agency.
“Miss Glenn, I have heard much about your innate abilities and your empathy for those who are indentured or enslaved. And you did very well on the battery of tests we gave you this morning. I just need to satisfy myself on a few points, OK?”
“Go ahead sir.”
“Stephanie, if I may call you that, do you believe that the reform law, named after you, now making its way through Congress will significantly ease the situation of persons enslaved for crime?”
“Not at all sir”, I replied. “That was not the intent of the new legislation. It is only to insure that people who are indentured for debt are not treated like penal slaves.”
“Then you have no objection to penal slavery as such, I take it?”
“Not at all sir. Crime must be punished. I only want to make the system more humane and function more justly”, I replied.
“Good answer. I want you to know that I never hire abolitionists. I want all my people committed to making the system work, not to sabotaging the system.”
“Do you have a problem”, he continued, “with corporal punishment?
“That would depend sir. I don’t think slaves should be punished in anger, but I am not opposed to whippings or other corporal punishments if they are proportioned according to the severity of the original crime and administered publicly by licensed professionals.”
“Why publicly?”
“Because one person’s suffering should be an example to deter others from committing similar crimes. Also the administering of physical punishments in an open public setting acts as a check and balance on excessive punishment.”
“Stephanie, I must also ask you if you have qualms about all the non-consensual sex that so often takes place between masters and slaves?”
“No sir – as long as it only involves people who were justly enslaved”, I was quick to answer. “Non consensual sex is, after all, a very effective way to punish criminals without resorting to corporal punishment or brutality, or locking them up in cages, and is also effective in deterring others from committing crimes.”
“Another good answer. I can’t have my advocates being squeamish about non-consensual sex. In a slave culture it is quite normal for many men and women in positions of power or wealth to desire to have sexual experiences with certain people who would never have consented if they were free to choose. We do not bemoan the fact that some must lose their freedom of choice in sexual matters because of past misdeeds. Rather we celebrate and cherish the fact that so many diverse sexual opportunities are thereby opened up for the more successful members of our society. Fortunately a system of penal slavery provides an abundance of such experiences without violating anyone’s rights.”
“I am going to offer you an internship as a junior slave advocate”, he finally stated. The pay is much less than what you probably could make as an accountant. But if you love the work, as most of my advocates do, you may find a rewarding career with us.”
“I accept, Mr. Williamson!” I stated without hesitation.
The pay was only about half what I had been offered at the accounting firm that interviewed me on Greg Masterson’s recommendation. But this work held my interest so much more than any accounting position could. I learned that I could ‘make a difference’ in the world of slavery and that made it easier to come to terms with Bill’s passion for slavery.
“You understand, of course, that you will not be able to do advocacy at Masterson Automotive. In view of your complicated past there, giving you assignments there would be a conflict of interest.”
“I fully understand, Mr. Williamson.”
The interview was complete. I was assigned to work as a trainee under an experienced advocate. At first the greater part of my working hours was spent attending training sessions and witnessing the debriefing of experienced advocates by staff supervisors. Then I went on a few field inspections at various firms and a few domestic estates.
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My first real advocacy experience began one Monday morning. I was summoned to Mr. Williamson’s office along with Jeremy, one of the more experienced advocates.
“Stephanie” Mr. Williamson began, “I’m going to give you your first crack at a real advocacy assignment. I got an unusual phone call from Dr. William Deevers, the principal at Wickmore High School. He had called us because we are the agency of record permanently assigned by the local courts to protect any students at that school who run afoul of the law. He was concerned, he stated, because one of his students, a 16-year-old girl named Rachel Green, needed to make a decision soon on how she was going to respond to charges filed against her.”
“But we don’t normally get involved with a client until he or she has been enslaved or indentured do we?” I asked.
“Normally that is true. But this case is unusual in that Rachel is an ‘emancipated youth’, which means she is an adult in the eyes of the law. It is also an unusual case in that Rachel is a registered public prostitute under the working name of “Rita”, or “skinny Rita” as she is known on the street.
“I still don’t see why we would get involved as the public Advocate at this early stage when she is still free and has been convicted of nothing yet”, I persisted.
“Your point is well taken. The real reason I want to intervene at this stage is because the girl is being offered a choice between school discipline and public prosecution. She has a potentially life changing decision to make yet there are neither parents nor a lawyer to advise her until after she makes that choice. Jeremy has done some background research on this case, though he has not met the client. That will be where you start. Why don’t you take a few minutes to brief Stephanie on your work so far?”
“I had a phone conversation with the principal”, Jeremy began. It seems our girl had sex for money with one of her fellow high school students, a boy her own age named Bart.”
“How is that a problem?” I responded. “After all prostitution is perfectly legal throughout Capitallia.”
“It is a problem because it is against the regulations of this private school for any enrolled student to prostitute herself or himself with another student of the school. It is considered not conducive to good order and discipline or to maintaining the desired learning environment. There is also a state law declaring schools to be prostitution free zones.”
“So I take it the girl may face suspension or loss of privileges?” I asked.
“It is worse than that. Normally such a matter would be referred to the School Magistrate’s Court (SMC) where a tribunal would decide what punishment to impose. Because of Rachel’s adult status the principal is offering her the opportunity to opt out of school punishment and have the matter referred to the public prosecutor instead. That is the choice the girl is faced with and the reason Bud even considered our getting involved at such an early stage.”
“I would think this choice would be a no-brainer. Surely school punishment would be a lot easier on the girl than running her through the criminal justice system, wouldn’t it?” I queried.
“Not necessarily. The principal advised me that SMC has often meted out punishments that might be considered severe”, Jeremy replied.
“What might they do to Rachel?”
“They could expel her from the school”, Jeremy continued, “and ban her from re-enrolling for a period of four years! Not only that but upon re-enrolling she would have to start over again as a freshman with no credit for any high school courses previously completed. Her chances of being accepted at any other high school within that four year disciplinary period would not be good. Even with expulsion they could add other punishments designed to make an example of her.”
“For instance?” I said.
“They could strip her naked and paddle her bare ass before an all school assembly!”
“They can do that?” I asked.
“Yes, its all in the contract that all adult students and the parents of all minor students sign in order to be admitted to the school”, Jeremy answered. “Not only that but there is a state law that says the physical punishments ordered by a school judicial system, within the scope of the contract, can be enforced even on a student who has been expelled!”
“What if they don’t expel her”, I asked. “Are there … other … punishments?”
“Indeed there are”, he replied. “They can make her attend all her classes naked for ninety days. That type of naked punishment also means that she would have to honor ‘any reasonable request’ by a student wishing to closely examine or touch her naked body!”
“Stephanie”, Mr. Williamson interjected, “The immediate issue where we can help this girl is in choosing between school discipline v. public prosecution. Either choice has its risks. I want this case to be your baby. You will go to the school and interview Dr. Deevers and the girl. You may take Jeremy with you to advise as this is your first real assignment.
After the meeting I called for an appointment and the next morning Jeremy and I were driving into the school parking lot. We found the office bearing the sign “Dr. William Deevers, Principal”. There his secretary greeted us.
“Dr. Deevers is expecting you”, she said. Go right in!”
We were ushered into a very large office where there was only a simple but elegant desk facing the wall at one end and a large oblong glass conference table surrounded by eight comfortable chairs taking up most of the rest of the space. I surmised that the room had been designed so that the Principal might hold board and committee meetings here. The wall behind the desk was filled with framed diplomas, certifications and commendations. There was tasteful art on the other walls. A tall middle-aged man with graying hair had been seated at the desk and rose and turned to greet us with hand outstretched.
“Dr. Deevers”, my associate began, “I am Jeremy Withers with whom you spoke on the phone and I would like to introduce you to my colleague Stephanie Glenn who will be taking the lead in this assignment.”
After an enthusiastic shaking of hands all around Deevers indicated we should sit in two of the guest chairs around the conference table and when we were seated took one of the other chairs opposite us. I noticed that the top of the glass conference table was only about a foot above the carpeted floor. This made for great visibility of the other participants but an awkward reach for anyone wanting to take extensive notes. Dr. Deevers must have noticed my perplexity.
“The conference table is on a hydraulic pedestal and can be easily raised or lowered by this remote control. I bring it up to standard desk height when I am holding the kind of meeting where people are going to be taking extensive notes. At other times I find it more pleasant to have the table low so it does not obstruct us from fully seeing one another.”
“That makes perfect sense”, I said agreeably.
“As I explained to Jeremy on the phone”, Deevers continued, “I had contacted your agency and asked for an early intervention”, Deevers began, “because I have a bright young straight-A student whose entire future is very much at risk because of recent events here. It is my hope that you will guide her in the serious choices she has to make right now. She will be joining us in a little while, but I thought we should have some discussion first to make sure we are all on the same page.”
“I have briefed Stephanie on the basics that you presented to me over the phone”, Jeremy stated. “What are the latest developments?”
“I had a meeting yesterday with Rachel”, Deevers responded, “in which I explained to her the evidence we have that she violated school regulations and state law. I outlined the basics of our School Magistrate Court (SMC) to her and what punishments they had handed down in a couple of similar situations that happened some years back.”
“How did she take that?” I asked.
“She was shocked when I told her about the possibility of corporal punishment. Her concern was the intense embarrassment she would suffer with a naked punishment in front of the whole school. My concern, on the other hand, was more with the possible worst case scenario that the SMC might order her expelled. That could ruin her life more than any naked corporal punishment.
“Finally I told her that, because she was an emancipated youth, I could offer her a choice between school punishment and a public prosecution. There were risks in this approach, I pointed out, in that sometimes a court would hand down a more severe sentence than any school punishment but in all likelihood the punishment would not interfere with her school studies here. I explained that she might get assigned to part time community servitude or there might be a physical punishment but that the court would probably allow for this to be done in a more private setting then would likely be ordered here at the school.
“I would like to see her have legal counsel before making this choice but Rachel cannot afford a private lawyer and no court will assign a public defender until after she has been charged with something. That is part of the reason I wanted you folks to talk to her at this stage.”
“We are glad that we can help out in a situation like this”, Jeremy responded.
“Frankly”, Deevers continued, “I feel it might be safer, all things considered, for her to try her luck with the prosecutor. Our SMC has been quite severe in its sentences the last few years. Please don’t quote me on that!”
“I think we are at the point”, I said, “where we need to hear Rachel’s story before we can make any informed suggestion on that point.”
He spoke in the intercom to his secretary to ‘send Rachel and her friend in now’.
A slip of a black girl entered the office wearing a sleeveless tank top with a modest neckline but short enough to bare her midriff. Her outfit was completed by blue jeans that fit her like a second skin. She had a white boy about her own age in tow. The girl was quite thin but had a healthy glow about her and a certain gentle athleticism. Probably the healthy biceps I could see in her bare arms, the firm and flat abdominal area and the way she carried herself fostered this impression. She had that gangly quality that is often seen in girls who have not yet rounded out into full womanhood. Her posture and bearing reminded me of very young dancers I had known. The boy was thin too but looked more nerdy than athletic.
Despite her elegant posture it was clear this was one scared and embarrassed girl. She looked very troubled and at first she would not make eye contact with us. She remained standing at first, nervously shifting her weight from one foot to the other. The boy also seemed nervous.
“Dr. Deevers”, Rachel began, “I brought my classmate and friend Don Nelson with me because he has been someone I have confided in and I would like his support in making this decision.”
“That’s fine Rachel”, Deevers began, “Why don’t you and your friend each take a seat around the conference table. I would like you to meet some people who may be able to offer you wise counsel in the choice you need to make today. They are Miss Stephanie Glenn and Mr. Jeremy Withers of the Williamson Agency. The Williamson Agency is a non profit organization that is well known for its efforts to advocate for people who can’t always speak for themselves.”
“You mean they are like lawyers?” Rachel replied, risking a tentative glance in our direction.
“No”, he responded. A lawyer is to help you with issues of law. If you are charged with a crime the Court will appoint a lawyer known as a Public Defender. It is his job to present evidence and legal arguments in court to convince a judge that you should not be convicted. A public Advocate has a different role. They normally begin their job after someone has been convicted and sentenced to a punishment. I persuaded them to come in a little early because I thought they could help you understand the choice you will be making today.”
“I understand sir”, Rachel replied.
“Dr. Deevers told me a lot about you Rachel”, I began. “He explained that you are a straight-A student and have never been in any trouble with the school or the law. He explained also that, since you are estranged from your parents, the only way you can afford the tuition here is to prostitute yourself off campus. He does not judge you for that nor do we.”
“Thank you Miss Glenn. I am glad somebody understands.” Rachel replied.
I could clearly see from her body language across the very low conference table that she had begun to relax somewhat after this last exchange. There was even the beginning of a smile from her.
I would like to hear directly from you an account of what happened to bring you to this point. Can you fill me in please?”
“I have always tried”, Rachel began, “to keep my prostitution off campus and completely separated from my life here at the school. It was very important for me to have a normal social life here so naturally I did not want students here knowing about my other life.”
“That is certainly understandable”, I replied.
“Things were going pretty well for me until a student here the kids call Bart the brat cornered me one day in the school cafeteria.”
“Does this Bart have a last name?” I asked.
“Yeah, his name is Bart Jackson. Well anyway he confronted me with the fact he knew all about my other life and he wanted to fuck me for money. He waved a $10 bill in my face. I told him to put his money away, that I did not turn tricks on school grounds or with fellow students at the school. He wouldn’t take no. He said if I didn’t do a trick with him he would let the whole school know I was a whore. I was scared he would really do this so I eventually agreed to trick with him.”
“What happened next?” I asked.
“He was waiting for me after school that day and insisted I follow him down a deserted hallway to the art department. It was closed for the weekend but somehow he had a key and let us in. In one of the rooms used for posing live subjects for students to draw there is a bed. He makes a point of whipping out his wallet and pulls out a $10 bill again. I tell him my usual fee is $40 but he says ‘Take this bitch. It’s all your whoring ass is worth’. Then he makes me take off all my clothes and he undresses as well. He lays me down on that bed and fucks me.”
“So how did it come to the attention of the school that this had happened?” I wanted to know.
Rachel’s nerdy friend Don spoke up at this point.
“Let me tell this part Rach” he said. “It turns out that this real immature freshman had overheard part of the conversation in the cafeteria where Rach had finally agreed to trick with Bart. He had also followed them after school long enough to see them go into the locked art department. He turned them in. I think he just thought it would be fun to watch both of them getting their asses paddled in front of the school. Unfortunately he had not heard the first part of the conversation where Bart blackmailed Rach.”
“I should jump in at this point”, Deevers said. “When the kid reported what he thought happened I needed some way to verify his story. It turned out we have audio-video surveillance of those modeling rooms in the art department.”
“Yeah. Would you believe everything that happened between Bart the brat and me was recorded on tape – including his paying $10 for it? I was like shocked when Dr. Deevers told me it was all on tape. He explained that there would have to be consequences for me as I had broken a school regulation and a state law. So I asked him ‘what about Bart? Shouldn’t there be consequences for him too? He said no.”
“Let me explain that”, Deevers interjected. “School regulations don’t prohibit any student from trying to buy sex on campus. They only prohibit a student from actually taking money in exchange for a sex act. Responsibility is placed entirely on the prostitute, never on her customer. The state law naming schools as prostitution free zones also places all of the responsibility on the prostitute. Maybe it would be more fair if responsibility were on both parties but that is not how it is at present.”
We saw Deevers scribbling something in his calendar book for tomorrow. He then turned and looked pointedly at Rachel’s friend Don.
“I’m just making myself a note to take possession of that tape from the security tape room tomorrow and get it into my safe. After all it’s evidence … and if that tape were to turn up missing the school would be in a world of trouble because we wouldn’t be able to prove anything ever happened!”
I thought he might be dropping a hint to Don on how he could help his friend but I couldn’t be sure. Men didn’t get to his level without being clever enough to cover their tracks and preserve deniability.
“Rachel, it doesn’t sound to me like you are in all that much trouble” I said. “After all you were blackmailed into doing this. Surely that would be a good defense wouldn’t it Dr. Deevers?”
“The problem”, Deevers responded, “is that we have the sex and the exchange of money on tape, plus the statement of that freshman about conversation he overheard in the cafeteria. Since the freshman didn’t hear the beginning of that conversation we have no corroboration that any blackmail threat was ever made, and Brad denies that part. So the evidence is that school regulations and state law were broken and Rachel can’t really prove any extenuating circumstances that would let anyone cut her a break.”
“Don’t you believe her?” I asked.
“It doesn’t matter what I believe”, Deevers responded, “since I will not be the one rendering judgment. Rachel, have you thought about the choice I laid out for you yesterday?” Deevers said.
“I decided that a naked paddling in front of the school would be more humiliation than I could bear. Plus you said there is the possibility I could be expelled from school. I couldn’t bear losing all those credits and having to start over four years from now. So I have decided it would be best if you turned my case over to the public prosecutor. I will take my chances with him.”
“I am inclined to agree”, I responded, “that this may be the best option for you Rachel. The prosecutor and the judge will take into account your youth and the fact that you come before the Court with a clean record. I can’t imagine the punishment would be too severe.”
“But keep in mind Rachel”, Deevers interjected, “that if you are convicted of something you will be helpless to protect yourself until your sentence is completed. During your time of helplessness you will need an Advocate - someone like these folks here to protect you!”
“Protect me from what?” Rachel asked.
“From the person or organization that will then have complete control of you. That could be whoever submitted the winning bid for the right to have your services, if you receive a ‘Community Servitude Indenture’. If that happens all your freedom and rights will be taken away for the time of your indenture.”
“Can they do that to me?” Rachel responded incredulously.
I saw her slender frame trembling with the thought of this. She kept nervously flexing her long fingers and the low conference table made me very conscious of her constantly crossing and uncrossing her long legs. Apparently she had not given too much thought before now as to just how helpless she would be when enduring a court ordered punishment.
“The Court can do that Rachel, but it is not likely. It is much more likely that you may receive only a “Punishment Indenture”. That means only the Public Whip Master will have complete control of you and only for a few days so that he may carry out your whipping and aftercare.”
The girl’s face fell.
“How …will these people be able to protect me if I am to be publicly whipped?”
“It sometimes happens Rachel”, I responded, “that a Public Whip Master gets carried away and begins to impose a punishment that is more severe than what the law allows.
In such a case your Advocate has legal authority to stop the punishment on the spot and ask the Court to provide a more permanent protection for you.”
“Why would the Whip Master get ‘carried away’ as you put it?” the girl wanted to know.
“Because he is running a business and he makes money if he makes the punishment an entertaining show for his audience!”
“You mean people I don’t even know will come and pay money just to be ‘entertained’ by my suffering.”
“They would say that is the pleasure of seeing justice done”, Jeremy responded. “But the answer to your question is yes!”
But I don’t want to be punished in public”, Rachel started to scream, “so that just anybody – including kids from school here – could come and watch me scream!”
The girl was starting to get hysterical now. She was no longer in her chair and was waving her arms around wildly.
“Calm down Rachel”, I said. “It may not come to that. I am sure the judge will give some weight to your youth and to the fact you have no prior convictions or prior school offenses. He may order a ‘Private Punishment’ where only a small select audience will witness the punishment. The law does require witnesses however. Are you sure this is what you want to do?”
“What choice do I have?” Rachel replied. “You are telling me I will likely have a painful and humiliating punishment before witnesses whichever choice I make. At least with the public whipping my ordeal will not be witnessed by my schoolmates and I won’t face the possibility of being expelled from school and having to start all over four years from now. I will stick with my decision. Dr. Deevers please go ahead and refer this matter to the public prosecutor.”
With that the meeting was over. We all shook hands and went our separate ways. On the way back to the office Jeremy congratulated me on how I had handled the assignment so far.
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While I was getting started at Williamson Agency Bill was transforming his business. The abolition of the Federal Labor Board had changed everything in his line of work. Many employers who had for many years used more slave labor than free labor were finding they needed to divest themselves of many of their slaves in order to make more jobs for free workers. This caused there to be more slaves than people who wanted to buy them at the old prices. So the price of slaves came down until they reached a level where many companies who previously had not considered slave labor found they could afford to snap up these bargains.
More and more Bill’s work involved finding new owners for slaves castoff by employers who had traditionally made heavy use of slave labor. It started with the Masterson contract, but soon Bill found he was providing similar services for many other companies.
Soon after I started on my new job the bill moving through Congress known as “Stephanie’s Law” passed and was signed into law by the President. This new law on indentured servants, named after me, had made it much harder to sexually indenture someone for debt. Generally a court would only order an indenture to be sexual if the debtor had a work history of working only in the sex industry before they became insolvent, or if they had no work history or marketable skills. But the demand for sexual indentures was brisk in Capitallia, so Bill was always trying to figure out honest ways to persuade debtors to volunteer for a sexual indenture in return for a shorter sentence.
While working hard to get ahead at Williamson Agency I also had to move forward on the commitment I had made toward becoming a full-fledged citizen of Capitallia. Citizenship was not held cheaply in this country and every person who chose to become a citizen undertook an obligation to come to the aid of the republic in one way or another in time of crisis.
During my junior year in college, while pursuing a degree in accounting, I had made an appointment with a Mr. Burdick, a counselor with the local office of the Capitallian Office of Citizen Preparedness. I wanted to understand how I might fulfill the obligation of a citizen.
“Ms. Glenn”, he began, “you do understand that, while Capitallia has a voluntary professional military and there is no draft in the common meaning of that term, persons, such as yourself, who seek to become Citizens of Capitallia and of the state where they reside, must take on a certain obligation.”
“Yes sir”, I replied. “That is why I wanted to meet with you – to understand better what my obligation will be if I decide to pursue citizenship.”
“You are 21 Ms. Glenn. You cannot become a full-fledged citizen with the right to vote until you are 25. But at your present age you have become eligible for proto-citizenship. This will give you most of the privileges of citizenship, other than voting, for the next four years. But to become a proto-citizen you must take and pass the same set of examinations that citizens take annually. You must be versed in Capitallian history, world history, basic economic theory, political theory and have a basic understanding of the Capitallian Constitution.”
“But what about the national defense obligation?”
“I was coming to that”, he continued. “The Capitallian Constitution provides certain obligations for those who would become citizens. Persons, such as yourself, choosing to become citizens, take an oath, as follows:
“In case of insurrection or of grave and immediate homeland peril “I will assume a
civil defense role for which I will have trained and prepared during peacetime.”
“Does this mean I must prepare for possible military service?”
“Not necessarily. “
“For some”, he continued, “this could indeed mean emergency military service. Such service might be required to defend against an invasion of the homeland or to put down an insurrection. But fighting foreign wars would not be a basis for a general call up of the citizenry. Well paid professional soldiers fight foreign wars – when they must be fought. The numbers of soldiers needed for far flung military operations is far less than it once was due to the high tech nature of modern warfare.”
“For other citizens”, he further elaborated, “there would be other emergency roles of a civil defense nature to fill - jobs for mechanics, programmers, medical technicians, communications people, police reserves, multi-taskers and for people with negotiating skills. There are even roles in which pacifists may be able to contribute without violating their philosophical or religious beliefs and thereby earn their citizenship. The kind of ‘grave and immediate homeland peril’ that would call for a general citizen mobilization would generally be something like a nuclear, chemical or biological attack. Other kinds of catastrophes such as fires, floods, hurricanes and oil spills would be the business of either government civil servants or specialized contractors hired for that type of emergency.”
The role I chose was to train for and, if a direct threat to the homeland required my call up, report for duty in the New York State Police Reserves (NYPR). There was an anticipated need for a rapid increase in normal police levels in the event of a nuclear, chemical or biological attack and to provide security for all the temporary medical facilities and temporary infrastructure facilities that would be needed. The choice seemed practical as I was in very good physical condition from my tennis playing and from being a runner, and the training I would receive might well help me in personal self defense situations. And so it turned out. I had completed the first part of my training prior to being indentured. Now it was time to proceed with the next phase. There was a special school for persons training for police reserve work in my state. As a proto-citizen I was expected to pay my own tuition to this school. I was helped in this by not having to pay the annual citizenship tax while attending such training. Also there were educational loans available if needed.
Training required school two nights a week plus every other weekend for three years. Plus there were two weeks of full time training once a year for the three years. The training was rigorous and involved not only classroom instruction but practical role playing exercises and ‘war game’ scenarios carried out under mock conditions of civil unrest and a mock pandemic.
Another facet of my life that year was the matter of my own post traumatic stress therapy. Bill had agreed to partner with me in the therapy at the Henderson Trauma Management Center. I am a very private person, so when I heard Bill describe actually witnessing, through a one-way glass, another couple having therapeutic sex, my first concern was to seek assurance from Dr. Henderson that my sessions with Bill would be private. I was told there would be no videotaping, no spectators and no one-way mirror, but that Dr. Henderson himself would be supervising our interactions and would be in the room with us taking notes and encouraging us during our sexual encounters. I wasn’t totally comfortable with this but I accepted it as I knew that only in this way could I make progress toward full intimacy with a man.
The week after I witnessed Tom Jenkins’ first sex therapy it was time for the first session of my own kind of therapy. Dr. Henderson began by just having the two of us talk with our clothes on. After a few minutes he was ready for us to take the next step.
“Stephanie, I would like you to undress completely now while Bill watches you.”
As I removed my blouse, bra and skirt I worried that Bill might not find my breasts to his liking, or that he would think me too muscular in the thighs and buttocks. As I slipped my panties down and stepped out of them I wondered if Bill would think my vulva attractive. I found myself sitting rather self-consciously with my legs held close together in a rather pointless gesture of modesty. All this was silly of course since Bill had already seen all my charms during the creditor exam a year and a half ago.
“Now you Bill”, the good doctor announced.
I watched as Bill removed his shoes, socks, shirt, and slacks. Bill had quite an athletic body with well-developed shoulder and pectoral muscles and washboard abs. Finally he lowered his briefs. I had never been much interested in men’s genitals before, except as a trigger to my own fears of male aggression. Until now. Bill’s penis looked beautiful to me – not because it was especially long or especially thick but because it was part of a man I had learned to love and respect. That made it beautiful. That made me long to admire it close-up and to touch it and to kiss it. Bill’s scrotum and testicles looked beautiful to me – again because they were a part of Bill. I longed to cup them in the palm of my hand. Even as I was conscious of these desires I also felt a kind of growing anxiety in myself – no doubt triggered by feelings of my own vulnerability to male sexual aggression.
“Stephanie, I want you to just relax and get comfortable with Bill’s nudity and with your own nudity in Bill’s presence. Make small talk for a while.”
After a while the good doctor had another challenge for me.
“Stephanie, I am going to ask now that you open your legs and assume a posture that better displays your intimacies to Bill. You need to get comfortable with feelings of vulnerability.”
I did so with some hesitation, while remaining seated, separating my legs until my knees were about 18 inches apart. Bill was directly across from me. I had what is sometimes called ‘a neat slit’, in that my outer labia were fairly prominent and fairly well concealed my inner labia as long as I did not open my legs too much. I was hoping 18 inches of separation would be enough so that I might retain some little modesty. But it was not to be.
“Stephanie, it is important that you have the experience of displaying yourself completely to Bill. I want you to place your hands on the arms of that chair for support and lift your pelvis up at least a foot above the chair and spread your legs as widely as they will go.”
I knew that my outer labia would open up like the petals of a flower in this position, showing Bill and the good doctor all the details of my intimate anatomy. I hoped Bill would like my clitoral hood that ran nearly half the length of my vulva. I was becoming aroused in this display position and could sense my clitoris becoming quite prominent and my vulva moistening. I was sure that Bill and the doctor could see this too. Bill smiled in a way that told me he very much enjoyed the display I was providing.
The doctor eventually picked up a syringe loaded with Traumatholin and injected me. More small talk.
“Bill”, the doctor continued, “I want you to move closer to her now and let your naked hip touch her naked hip. Then I want you to begin to fondle and stroke Stephanie.”
I experienced some anxiety but not with the intensity I would have felt without the drug. That was as far as it went during our first session. Afterward I could clearly recall everything that had happened in that session but somehow it did not seem as scary as I thought it might.
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Then there was the nude group therapy. I learned to be comfortable with being naked in the context of a group of people I could trust. We did this therapy with Tanisha and Leroy Williamson and four other couples. At one point Dr. Henderson made a point - of teaching me some of the things I could do in such a group that would not be safe for me to do in most other situations.
“Stephanie”, he began, “I want you now to gaze directly at Leroy’s penis for a few minutes. I will let you know when to stop.”
A few minutes passed in that way.
“Now I want you to gaze at Roger’s penis for a minute, then Brad’s penis for a minute, then “Larry’s, then Bob’s, and finally Bill’s.”
I needed to learn that a penis was just a penis – not something to be afraid of. Dr. Henderson required each of the other women in the group to do the same exercise.
“Now guys, I want Stephanie to get comfortable with looking at erections. I will ask each of you guys to now please masturbate until you are hard for Stephanie’s benefit.”
Soon every guy in the group was hard. I was encouraged to first look at and then reach out and touch all the erections in the group. I needed to learn, in a safe environment, that an erection was just an erection. The other women in the group were also required to look at and touch all of the erections.
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At my second individual session, with just Bill and Dr. Henderson, the idea of being naked with Bill and letting him grope me did not seem scary at all. So we proceeded to more intimate petting this time, again with me under the influence of the trauma drug. By the third such session, after we got naked and relaxed with small talk, Dr. Henderson felt we were ready for the next step.
“I believe you two are ready for guided intercourse now. Stephanie I want you to take Bill’s penis in your hand and stimulate it until it becomes hard.”
This was soon accomplished, as Bill was more than ready for this. I was mildly anxious, even with the drug, when I saw Bill become erect. There were echoes in my mind of the various rape experiences. Yet Bill’s erection did not seem as threatening as it probably would have without the trauma drug.
“Stephanie I want you to just lay back and open your thighs. Bill, I want you to mount and enter her.”
He did not have to ask Bill twice. There was some scariness once I felt Bill inside me, but also much pleasure. I felt myself lubricate freely, but something was keeping me from letting go. Dr. Henderson congratulated me on my progress. But he also said Bill and I should have intercourse quite a few more times with the drug and under his supervision before trying it at home.
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My unfortunate journey through slavery had begun when I graduated from accounting school and applied for my first job. I had believed then, as most Capitallian citizens did, that slavery was the natural order of things. It made sense to enslave criminals, not incarcerate them. But my experiences had taken me on a struggle between head and heart. I had seen up close and personal the evil that men and women can do to other men and women under slave laws.
Slavery had become repugnant to me because of these very personal and intimate experiences. Even sex, or at least sex with a man, had become repugnant because, as a slave I had been repeatedly raped. I had become mistrustful of males and of the society I lived in. I had become bitter
But along the way I had also come to understand that there were some very good persons in the slave trade as well as the evil ones. Sometimes the good people came to my aid when I least expected it.
Then too as my adventure further unfolded, I found that there was justice in the world. I got my chance to have vindication against those who had wronged me. I enjoyed, even more than I thought I would, the supreme pleasure of turning the tables on my oppressors. I began, at least, the process of not thinking like a helpless victim and started to experience what it felt like to be powerful and in control of my life again. From this I began to feel the return of my sexuality and my interest in having a relationship with a male.
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One day after Bill and I had intercourse under Dr. Henderson’s supervision, we went out for coffee afterwards. I explained to Bill how I felt I was no longer thinking like a victim. He wanted me to take all this further.
“Stephanie”, he began, “I think you need to take back your power. Your experience as a slave caused you to feel powerless when you learned that men could rape you at will. But the same slave system that caused you to feel so powerless could also be turned around to make you feel powerful in relation to men.”
“How would that work?” I replied.
“I would like you to have the experience of being in a position of complete authority in relation to a naked male slave”, he responded. “Tomorrow afternoon I have a male reporting to my office for his creditor’s examination. I want you to conduct that examination!”
“But I don’t know anything about examining naked slaves!” I protested.
“You do remember how I examined you, don’t you?”
“Oh, do I ever!”
“Well, my partner, Virginia Johnson, can give you instruction and a practice session in the morning so that you can be authoritative with the male subject coming in for his exam.”
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And so the day of the examination came. I had agreed to be the examiner. I was curious what it would feel like. The male subject, Rupert Brown, was a 19-year-old college student who had run up debts for tuition and living expenses that he could not repay. His creditors had brought suit to indenture him for his debts. He had reached a sort of plea agreement with Bill that would allow for a creditor’s exam and for the indenture to be a sexual one. He conceded to all this in return for Bill agreeing not to seek the maximum indenture of ten years. Instead he might serve as little as three years. But first the Steelforth agency needed to determine if he was sexually attractive enough and sexually responsive enough that a mere three years under sexual indenture would be worth as much to the client as ten years of non-sexual indenture. That would justify the lighter sentence. That would be my job. A nervous Mr. Brown was escorted into the conference room accompanied by his lawyer. I could see that he was quite slender since he was wearing jeans that fitted him like a glove. I addressed him in the most authoritative manner I could muster.
“Mr. Brown, do you know why you are here?” I began in what I hoped was a firm voice.
“Yes ma’am, I think I do”, he replied in a quivering voice.
“I want to hear you say it young man!”
“I am here to take my clothes off for you!” he said in a faltering voice.
“Is this something you want to do?” I shot back.
“No ma’am. “
“Then why are you here?” I persisted.
“Because if I don’t do this you may make me serve a full ten years for my debts. I don’t think I could stand such a long term!”
“You understand that I will be evaluating your potential as a male prostitute today?”
“Yeah, my lawyer explained that.”
“You and your attorney have agreed to a naked examination of your person and to practical tests of both your physical fitness and your sexual capacity – all as part of the plea agreement. Do you understand that is all part of the agreement?”
“Yes ma’am”, he said dejectedly.
“Then lets not waste any more of my time”, I said, feigning more arrogance than I really felt. “Lose the clothing young man. Neatly fold each item as you remove it and make a pile there on the conference table.”
He began by removing the mid calf leather boots, then the shirt, and then peeled the tight fitting jeans down his slender legs. He stood there for a moment in only his briefs and I could see he filled them out nicely. I gestured impatiently for the briefs to be removed also. As he did so he used one hand to cover his private parts.
“Let’s have none of that boy! Hands at your sides and stand up straight!” I said with false bravado.
Reluctantly he did as I ordered and my eyes swept up and down his naked person, admiring the well developed shoulders, the flat washboard abs, the dense growth of black pubic hair, a rather long and well shaped penis and a low hanging scrotum containing two generous walnuts. He was a handsome lad. I picked up a digital camera and took a couple of shots of him as he stood there. A couple of the shots were for the official file, a couple of them were for the client, and a few others were for my personal scrapbook. I made a circular motion with my finger for him to slowly turn around so that I could admire his muscular bubble butt from all angles.
“I will need you to show me ten chin-ups on that overhead bar now boy.”
He complied with my order and I could see that he was a superb physical specimen. I snapped another picture of him in mid chin-up. Then I had him stand before me again at attention.
“Do you masturbate son?” I said it firmly as though it was the most natural question in the world, but inwardly I felt uncomfortable talking to the boy this way.
“Yes ma’am.”
“I will need you to show me now how you do it. I will need you to get hard for me. Only if you get hard can I recommend you for a short sentence as a male prostitute.”
I saw his face turn beet red, and then slowly and reluctantly his hands went to work and shortly produced a magnificent erection. I took a few more pictures of him masturbating and sporting this impressive hard penis.
“OK son. You can put your clothes back on now and go home. We will be in touch.”
With that he left and I began to shake. I had dominated this boy totally, which was the experience Bill wanted me to have, but this dominance did not come easily to my nature. Still it was an important step in my learning to not feel helpless and vulnerable.
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