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My name is Jiffy, that’s not the name I was born with but more on that later on. I am a 24 year old, and I am a male corp-owned secretary contracted to Linda Insurance Group. My current boss is Ms. Priscilla, she’s twice my age, she picked me from the roster right after I graduated from Male Secretariat Academy and was contracted to LIG. My job consists of anything she/they say is my job.
It was three years ago when a young man at a job convention offered me the brochure for the Male Secretariat Academy. Their little pitch convinced me immediately that this was the right choice for me given my situation at the time.
“Are you a recent male college graduate with difficulty finding a job? Well you’re not alone, modern day gyno-centric corporate world has no use for your inferior male diploma. Numerous scientific research have shown that the male brain is overall inferior to a female one. Even though government political correctness policies still allows men to ‘attempt’ to compete academically in the public educational system their female peers. The fact remains that the private sector does not practice gender affirmative action. However, you’re in luck because there is an ever increasing demand for male secretaries every year, and a severe lack of qualified men for the job. We here at the Male Secretariat Academy train eager men like you for these positions in only two years times.”
The brochure went on with certain tiny print legal stuff (i.e. corp-owned status) that I obviously ignored, but I was sold with that paragraph alone. So of course I applied for the next fall sessions… What followed was a life changing experience. Perhaps from someone looking from the outside it might seem very extreme but following the program with other likeminded peers and the guiding firm hands of the instructors it felt right, and still does.
I remember the first day very well, all the new students attended a welcoming speech from the majority shareholder of the holding group that owned the Academy, Dr. Marissa. There were no seats at the auditorium, so all of us were standing in place. It was a rather odd feeling standing there, I think quite a few of us were a little embarrassed too. Keep in mind that this was the first time any of us wore the Academy’s business standard uniform.
The Uniform
I feel the need to really dedicate a specific section for the Academy’s uniform because contrary to the critics, there’s real meaningful reasoning behind it and not male objectification. Dr. Marissa put a lot of research into the uniform to emphasis our reason to be as male secretaries. It’s no wonder that all top 500 Elle Fortune companies have secretaries dressed in very similar fashion based on her design.
The bottom portion is a very tight and tiny grey shorts that just barely hides the lower cheeks of our ass when bending down. It istailor-made to accentuate the ass and emphasize the legs by revealing as much of it as possible. The reason being is that a really good secretary is always on the move running errands for his boss, and so the Academy wants us to showcase our well-developed legs and ass to our employers and to the public as evidence that we are good secretaries. The front of the shorts has a curtain opening that has no zipper or button in order for you to quickly pull out your dick to go to the bathroom in order to not waist time from your job. Because of the type of material used, it’s often easy to make out the outline of your cock and balls budging out from the material. However, this is intentional because this type of material is very comfortable for us the wearer and so it prevents those embarrassing readjustment of your package from time to time, which is something no PR department of a company wants people to see.
The top is a tight white full sleeve shirt, fully buttoned to the neck but no collar. You don’t need to tuck it in because it is cut exactly to the waist and held in place with a little built in belt. The top is complete with a colorful ribbon collar with the corporation’s logo. The white shirt is to showcase professionalism and your discipline, and the ribbon collar is to show your belonging and subservience. Finally we had modified ballet shoes in black color, because it was important for secretaries to have very freely movable feet.
Where was I again…? Oh yes!
So as you can imagine a bunch of guys that didn’t know each other all standing in the stadium with our short shorts uniform, it was a little odd at first yes. However, the staff didn’t even look at us weirdly once. If anything, as each student made their way into the auditorium one by one, the staff at the doors checking the attendance often fixed up our uniform properly, and gave us a nod to indicate we looked dignified. As I entered, one woman pulled up my shorts by the back slightly giving me a wedgy, and then she just slightly tapped me on the ass as they do in sports, “all proper now young man, move along.” I have to say that her acknowledgement really made me feel great, I had a smile the whole day from that. I’m pretty sure now that that’s the very first time I really developed a hunger for approval and an eagerness to please people with a good job.
Once everyone was in place, a woman stood on the podium and told us to stand to attention. Now I assumed everyone else like me knew what that meant because it was a part of the acceptance package documents they sent over to us a month ahead. She was referring to a position we really had to learn for the very first day, it was explicitly stated that not knowing this position would get us expelled. But as soon as she ordered, I was really impressed by how everyone in synchronic motions stood to attention. Everyone crossed their right leg in the back of their left one, arched their back, stuck out their posterior to the back, with hands in the back lying on our ass, and finally heads and eyes looking down.
It was then and only then that the Dr. Marissa walked up to the podium, “Ah my lovely students. Look at all you boys at attention, not one of you are out of place. I think this is going to be yet another good year! Let me begin by making stating a scientific fact absolutely clear, you are all dumb…” I don’t know if anyone else was slightly shocked by her bluntness, but if they were then they were just as still and passive as I was, listening and not making any commotion. “Oh don’t take it the wrong way, I have a son and he’s dumb just like you. He’s a male after all, males are naturally not as intelligent, but don’t be ashamed of that. No, here at the Academy, we embrace this fact and we’re proud of it. So now the first lesson, and the most important lesson, repeat after me ‘I am a stupid male, please mold me into something useful for society!” In unison, everyone repeated her words. This was the start of my training.
Present Day
But that was a whileago, now I’m in the real world. I have a great job and I strive every day to be the best secretary I can be for my boss. This job has been amazing for my life, although my estranged dad doesn’t approve of it, my relationship with my mother, sisters, and aunts have dramatically improved. They’re all extremely happy for me, as opposed to when I was a jobless 2.0 GPA math grad.
So you might be wondering how does one become an Elle Fortune 500 company elite secretary? First rule, your life is to live for your employers. The first thing you need to do is NOT to buy a normal cellphone, no don’t even think about it. You need to buy the BeckyBerry XY Pro, this will be or rather should be your most cherished possession. The XY Pro system comes with a Bluetooth ear set, and an adjustable wristband style cellphone. But here’s the insider tip I’ll pass on to you, don’t put it on your wrist. A veteran secretary friend of mine clued me in on what we call in the business, “collaring.” The wristband cell is just perfect in size, material, and durability for you to strap it around your ball sack. The reason you do this is because since your balls are the most sensitive region of your body, the cell’s vibration is best felt there and so you never miss a single call. Also, since it is waterproof and very durable, you’d never have to take it off and should never take it off. With its amazing battery life you can also always have GPS on, so your employers always know where you are. Trust me, this is something employers really appreciate and value. In fact, ‘collaring’ is something that most top 500 companies HR department know about, they won’t right out ask you to do it, but it’s a known fact that if you want to work for them you have to collar yourself. Even though the battery life is amazing on it, I still moved my mattress near a wall jack so that at night I can plug the cord in since I never remove it. People sometimes refer to the power cord as the leash. It’s a bit odd to sleep with that wrapping around your thighs at first but you get used to it. Also it’s very important and many bosses expect you to download the Buzzer App, it’s a little hack which allows the cell’s normal vibration mode to feel like a strong shock (I guess you can say painful at times). But this guarantees that in the event your boss zaps you (as they say in the business) in the middle of the night, even the heaviest of sleeper of us will wake up to answer her.
Remember, this is a highly demanding field, there’s no time for personal lives. Your job schedule is basically 24/7 even if you’re not at the office, and so being collared is amazing for staying connected all the time. Here’s a good example, last Sunday my sister picked me up from work at 1pm, since Sunday’s aren’t that busy, I was able to leave early. We went over to my mother’s house because she wanted throw a surprise party for her sister. Anyway everyone was having a great time until at about 3:30pm my balls were buzzed in. I immediately went into the kitchen to answer the call, proper Academy training states that you should always answer within two rings. So time was thinking, I hurried and answered the call, “Ms. Priscilla’s secretary, how can I help you?” Of course when I answered, one of my aunt’s friend was in there, and she worked in the corporate world as well, so she’s used to people like me, probably has one on call too.
“Nop, nop, not today young man, I don’t want to see or hear anything work related today! “ She grabbed me by the hand and led me to a closet, then opened it and slapped me on my ass cheeks, “In there, take your calls in there today.” The whole time I expertly kept my composure, a nice smile, and of course a good control of the mute button to have simultaneous conversation with both my aunt’s friend and the person on the line. Neither of them were confused to whom I was talking to, but more importantly, the person on the line wasn’t even aware of anything. In the closet I was going over many back and forth callings and double line, apparently there was an emergency situation with some forest fire near some pretty important properties. Once in a while, guests would open the closet to take their coats, so I of course gladly assisted them with that. When I was done I got out and my mother came in a hurry looking for me, “Oh Steven there you are, I need your help.”
“Ya, sure what is it mom.”
“This is horrible, that stupid servant I hired for the party never showed up! This is going to be horribly ruined if the guests aren’t properly taken care of, and this is you aunties birthday! Be a dear and can you…”
“I’m right on it.”
“Oh you’re the best. I have to say I’m so glad you attended that place. Look at you now, it’s only been a year but look at those well-toned legs, they must have you worked and running around all the time. I’m so glad you didn’t end up like your cousin, he didn’t even bother showing up at his own mother’s birthday party. He must be so ashamed.”
“Oh wow, thanks mom! That means a lot to me.”
“Oh honey, umm so do the guests call you by Steven or Jiffy then?”
“Well I guess I’m on service so Jiffy.”
Mom giggled a little and replied jokingly, “Oh gosh well you’re always in service so we might as well always call you Jiffy.” That’s when her new boy toy, I never bother to remember their names they don’t last long, a man 20 years younger than her and only a few years older than me. He kissed her on the neck said, “Everyone misses you.” So my mom joined back the rest, “Ohh hurry hurry, tick tock Jiffy.”
I went and picked up the tray with the snacks and so on and walked out to the living room, most of the people there were family and friends I knew since I was very young so they knew I wasn’t a servant, but I did have the tray in my hand. Also everyone knew just from the uniform that I was a trained secretary so they had no discomfort sampling food from the tray without chit chatting, heck my own sisters called me up by the name Jiffy to refill drinks. As the party went on I was in and out of the kitchen all the time, no time to rest of mingle with the guests. By now both mom and my aunt were really drunk as they always get at parties. Mom was slowly grinding her ass on her boy toy’s lap, while my aunt was getting a foot rub by some guy she just met. Rather than call me up like the others, they settled on simply buzzing me in on the cellphone, they didn’t really pick up to answer, just buzzing and hanging up before the second ring. Considering both of them were business women, I’m pretty sure they had a clue that I was probably collared. I was quite glad actually because this made my job much easier, I always knew it was them immediately so I’d just hastily go up to refill their drinks. Now I think at some point my aunt was so drunk she even forgot who I was because she looked up to me with a certain look, “Well hello there big boy! Come to mama…” She said after I refilled her drink, but more than that she reached up with a 100$ bill, slid her hands between the easy opening of my shorts and slid it between my balls and thighs. That’s when my mother laughingly yelled out, “Jenny you drunk, you’re not his mama I AM!” They both had a huge laugh about it, I walked away with a smile. All of that just comes with the territory as they thought us at the Academy, take compliments with a smile. Heck a 100$ tip is pretty sweet. That was just the beginning, the guests hands got pretty curious as the night went on, and eventually I had dollar bills stuffed between quite a few parts of my body.
When the party died out, I was still on duty, now cleaning up the house. I eventually got all the work done by 3:30am, now of course I had to be at work by 5 am. But I always keep an extra pair of clean uniform at my mother’s place, so that wasn’t a problem; the problem was that it was in my mother’s room. What I forgot to mention was around the time all the guests had left and I was cleaning the house, mom was having a wild orgasmic night upstairs with her boy toy. So as I tiptoed into her room, evidence of the good time were all over the place, but of course quietly entering rooms of sleeping people to get the job done was among many of my expertise. However, this time I think it was just bad timing, but my mother had awoken, she quietly whispered, “Off the work sweetie?”
“Yes mom, have to be there 5 am sharp.” I replied quietly grabbing the clean set of uniform.
“My hard working son, Steven… or Jiffy?” She said in a sleepy tone.
“Well I just cleaned up the house this whole time, made you two some strong coffee, and now I off to work so still Jiffy I guess.”
“Good good, I like Jiffy better. Steven was you’re loser dad’s preference. Come give mama a kiss before you go!”
I went up to her and gave her a kiss on the cheeks, she went back to sleep and I walked out. At this point I rushed to the bathroom.
Lesson here is that you’re always on call 24/7, and because of this you just have to be collared to be barely functional at your job. Another important lesson to take from this anecdote is that being a male secretary is useful for everyone in your life. If you’re a young man like myself, doing anything else would be a complete waste of air to anyone, but the training received at the Academy are helpful for all aspects of your life and more importantly to the people in your life.
The Name
What’s with the name Jiffy, well it’s all about conformity, efficiency, importance, and simplicity. The philosophy behind it is that as corp-owned contract, your purpose is to make the corporation run smooth. You’re not the innovator, the manager, or even the worker who makes anything, you’re really the lubricant that makes things run smooth. So what’s in a name? Your name is actually not all that important, in fact chances are your name is a hindrance because it could be too difficult to pronounce, and why should important people waste time trying to remember it just so they can tell you to fax a document? Hence, the simple naming system where every student at the Academy gets a new name, the names are simple, easy to remember, and more importantly there are only a handful of them (Jonny, Jiffy, Tommy, Billy, Teddy, and Toby). There are just enough variations to be able to separate a group for various tasks, but so simple and easy to remember that it’s very efficient for people. You see a secretary walking around and you need him to do something, call out for Jiffy, chances are you might get it right, if not well we won’t correct you. However, for contract purposes your last name is a serial number, so my full work name is Jiffy 70922. That’s also the number you text to buzz me.
Mid Program Evaluation at the Academy
How do we tolerate what some might consider degradation and humiliation so well? I don’t actually know how to properly answer that question, in fact the more time I spend doing my job the more I don’t see a lot of the things I do as degrading or humiliating at all. However, what I can say is that I think I can trace back the exact moment that the transformation took place, or at least that was the first time I caught myself as a changed person and was perfectly fine with it. It was a whole year into the program, the whole previous year we’ve been drilled, trained, and ‘educated’ but we haven’t really done anything or being tested on anything. Then one day, rumors were going around campus that people at random were selected to go to a meeting, I didn’t much pay attention to it until a staff member came to pick me up.
She brought in front of a door and then she informed me that this was a surprise test of sorts. In that room was a mock meeting scenario that would be acted out, and I was to go into that room for the meeting as a secretary and do my job for the corporation. The trick was, they wouldn’t tell me what exactly I was there to do, whom I worked for, or any other helpful information. The test, they said, was designed to see how I can manage and adapt to a situation with all the trained I’ve received until now.
I entered the door to a room with 4 women sitting at a round table. One was much older than the others who were young, probably about my age. I didn’t introduce myself, I felt it would be more polite if I just quietly entered and close the door behind also quietly. So I did, and since there weren’t any other empty seats I just stood beside the door in the stand to attention position.
That’s when I noticed that one of the young women dropped her pen, for a few seconds I hesitated wondering if she was going to pick it up, but something deep inside my consciousness really wanted me to go and pick up the pen for her. So I went with my gut, went up near her, picked up the pen and put it besides her on the table. Interestingly not only didn’t she notice or even say thanks, all of them just kept on as thought that didn’t happen, but the strangest thing is I already knew somehow to not expect anything to happen. I just went back to my previous position and waited still again.
This time, the older woman snapped her fingers once and made a slight motion for me to approach, I went up to her quickly except this time I spoke, “What is it ma’am?”
“Go make quick copies of these.”
I took the papers and walked calmly until I was out the door and sight, then I sprinted in search of a photocopier, copied the documents and sprinted back quickly. When I came back and handed the copies to her, she looked at me a little confused.
“Where’s the coffee?”
I was a little stunned, I’m absolutely sure that she or anyone else for that matter ask me to get some coffee for them. I wanted to say that, but again something deep in my head was preventing me from doing so, instead I actually apologized for not bringing it.
“You stupid bitch, well get on with it, go get me my coffee you dumb cock!” She just blew it on me, I found it completely unnecessary, but again I was unusually calm about the whole thing, if anything I was very disappointed that I displeased her. So as though I was on autopilot I ran out looking for coffee. I eventually came back with a whole tray ready to make a cup of coffee for all four women however they’d want it.
They then had me running around a few times on basic secretary errands, nothing out of the ordinary. Although, all of them including the women around my age were very verbal and critical of the tiniest of mistake or perceived mistakes according to them that I made. For a few minutes, I really felt as though perhaps I was going to fail this test.
That’s when everything changed, I was in my position near the door feeling worried until one of the young women took out a cigarette and lit it up. I didn’t really pay much attention to it until she made a remark to the others, “I thought we rented a smoking free meeting room?”
It took me a few seconds, but I quickly realized that the room didn’t have an ashtray anywhere. I was actually dumb founded why I would notice such a tiny detail at this point, then more and more I was fixated on her cigarette… I don’t know why, but I just quickly went beside her, got on my knees, put my hands in the back, and wide opened my mouth! I was just mortified about what these women were going to think of me, what was I doing!? But shockingly, the young woman nonchalantly ashed her cigarette in my mouth! That very moment, as I was kneeled on the floor being used as an ashtray by a mock employer my own age, that’s when I knew I was a truly a good little secretary. Remember when I said that the first day at the Academy when the staff woman slapped me on my ass, that I grew aa craving for approval and to please people? This was a feeling ten times greater than that, now it had morphed into a craving to be used by people. I was an office tool named Jiffy 70922. The young woman finished off the whole cigarette and flicked it in my mouth, I swallowed it simply. After that I was just flying around, calling people for them, copying more document, refilling coffee, rearranging documents, taking calls, and notes with ease. The test eventually ended, and I was told right away that I passed with color. After that test, they moved me to another part of the campus, whit other senior students who have also passed the test like me, our second year training were vastly different than the first year.
Bubble Gum
I don’t want to go into this yet, but I’ll give you a quick example. We had lots of what they called De-education session. De-education was simply a program to un-teach things they felt a male didn’t need to know or didn’t need to be able to do. Among the many sessions, methods, and exercises was this simple yet very popular one called the bubble gum method. It was actually an important method which many more complicated ones were based on. They had us all bend down on our tables, spread our legs apart, and rest our head on our hands, then the instructor spoke, “I’m going to hand you a bubble gum, and I want you to chew this fat gum like you did as a child. Blow bubbles even, but every time you’re chewing a gum from now on you must clear your mind of all thoughts. When chewing a bubble gum, your mind must think of only chewing that gum. Your brain must essentially be empty of all other thoughts. Is that clear?”
Of course we all answered, “Yes ma’am.”
She then passed around the room putting a bubble gum in our mouth, and we started chewing. So for more than an hour actually, I was bent down on my table, with my legs spread apart, chewing on bubble gum like I’ve never chewed one before. I was blowing bubbles, popping them and preparing another one. The room was filled with chewing noises and bubble pops. No one knew why we were doing this at all, all I know is that after that day, very frequently and randomly a staff member would walk up to you and shove a bubble gum in your mouth without consent. When they did I’d just chew on it and blow bubbles, I did that many times.
One day, an older staff member gave me a bubble gum and I chewed. She then asked me, “What day are we?”
“Uhh… Oh gosh, I don’t know.” I replied, and also popped a bubble saying it.
“Says here you were a math grad, what is 33 times 2?”
“Iiiii… Don’t know.” I replied giggling!
“How the hell did you get in that program if you can’t even answer me a simple multiplication question?”
“Oh I’m sorry miss, it’ssooo hard to think and chew gum at the SAME time!” I replied with a weird voice.
“Is it? You’re a very stupid little boy aren’t you?”
“Well all boys are dumb, but I must be dumber.”
“That’s very true… Now I want you bend down on this desk like you did the first time we made you chew gum, and be open-minded and be in a playful mood.”
I did as I was told, then she signaled the young woman outside. She walked in pulling on a leash to which a large man was attached to. I’ve never seen such a well-built man in my lifebefore. He was probably a body builder or something. However, his hands were cuffed in the back, and he had a hood over his face, otherwise he was fully nude. Every step he took, his fat long cock swung, it sure was big and uncut. She lead him right behind me, his crotch was right on my ass cheeks, I could sense the heat radiating off it and getting harder.
The young woman with her gloved hands grabbed my short’s waistline and yanked them swiftly down to my knees. Meanwhile I kept chewing and blowing bubbles. She then stroked the hooded man’s cock until it was rock solid, “You can spread your cheeks apart now. Good! Ok big boy, time to fuck this bitch hard, let’s go big guy!” It was the first time I’ve ever been fucked in the ass but they didn’t take it slowly or anything, it was full throttle from the get-go. At times it felt like I was getting rammed by a horse, this was no human being fucking me. “Do you know why we’re doing this?”
“N… o… ma’… am…” I struggled very hard to reply.
“Because it’s amusing to watch and really hot, your purpose is really open ended…” She must have reached and sampled the anal juices that was slowly dripping out of my asshole with her gloved hands as she spoke, she then presented them in front of my mouth, “Lick it.”
“Hmmmm…”
Being a male secretary is a little like having a baby in anultra-conservative family, one day a couple can announce to the family that they’re having a baby and everyone is happy for them. The sex obviously is never talked about out in the open, always ignored. I suppose that’s what my family does regarding the other aspects of my job, except my Dad. But he’s a loser and we don’t talk to him.
What I’m trying to say is that if your boss buzz you up to a shady motel at 3am, and when you get there she and friend are snorting coke of the cock of some male whores… You’ll be ready for that, just pull out your bubble gum and start chewing.