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Chapter 9
I decided to find out a bit more about my in-laws. I could just call them up and say:
“Hey! Jack and Mary! What's this I hear about her working in a whorehouse and fucking half the Air Force?” But that was probably not a good idea. Ally's old man isn't a real big guy; I'm sure that between my size and youth I could take him. I would also have to spend the rest of my life wearing body armor because he would likely cap me from behind some night and say something sweet in my ear while I'm dying. Something like:
“Gotcha. Asshole.” And I wouldn't blame him. That's something I'd probably consider, too. Maybe not the best approach. So I did what I do. I investigated the situation. I needed background information, as well as to corroborate what Cynthia the shrink told me. Not that I didn't believe her (though it was pretty unbelievable...until I married their daughter) but I needed to be able to protect the patient confidentiality that was violated. I was pretty sure that the fact that she spilled the beans would come out eventually, but I wanted that to be later; not sooner.
I found a older photo of Ally's mother that was in a family photo album that we had stashed away. Then during a slow time I took a day and drove south. I stopped by the local sheriff's office and had a chat with a deputy friend who was fortunately working days that week.
“Ben. Good to see ya'. How's it hanging?” I asked Ben Turner, an old compatriot who was riding for the county sheriff.
“Long and on the left, as usual. What the fuck brings you down here? Don't you have enough lying husbands in Atlanta to follow around?” He answered. We chatted a bit, catching up as briefly as I could and still weasel my way around to why I was really there. Finally I got to my point.
“Ben. I've got a question for you. It involves activity that could be construed as illegal...and possibly condoned at the same time.” I started. He lifted an eyebrow and narrowed his eyes. “I know that the sheriff's department enforces all laws equally and that prostitution is hardly ignored...” He chuckled and interrupted me.
“Don't tell me you're looking to buy a piece of ass. You just told me you got married to a hot set of TaTas. And there's plenty of cootch for sale up in HotLanta!” He laughed.
“No...Nothing like that. I'm doing an investigation on a woman...who may have worked as a hooker down here a number of years ago. I heard that she had worked in a local cathouse that served guys from the base. I was just wondered if anything like that could be true?” I replied.
“A cathouse serving a military base? Who'd a thought of that?” He grinned at me. “Unless you mean Ms Funderburk's sitting parlor. She's had to move a time or two but she's still in business. She operates a “companionship” place...where lonely guys can “talk” to pretty women. For a couple hundred bucks an hour. Plus tips. Someplace like that?”
“Could be. Has she been doing it a long time?” I asked.
“Yep. Runs a quiet place. Of course whorehouses aren't legal. But her having a place for guys to get laid easily keeps the problems down on the street. We have enough problems with guys with toxic levels of testosterone as it is. Her little establishment helps to keep at least a little of it drained away. It's a ways out of town.”
Ben gave me instructions on how to find it with the usual disclaimer that he didn't know anything about such an establishment and would certainly have to tell the sheriff if he did. I suspected that he could tell the sheriff the next time they both happened to run into each other while getting their ashes hauled by one of Ms Funderburk's young ladies. But I didn't elaborate with him.
Ms Funderburk turned out to be a rather interesting lady. The house was actually owned by a corporation several states away. I suspected that she also owned the corporation, but she had done a very good job of hiding the association. Being in the investigation business means having to pay for access to information services that most people don't know about and wouldn't want to pay the fees for them if they did. But I do. I discovered that Ms Funderburk was actually Eleanor Fitzgerald. A slight shift in name that can help lead people into dead ends. She apparently had done extremely well in the flesh peddling business. Just one of the advantages of having a distant relationship with the IRS. I decided to take another trip south.
Ms Funderburk, nee Fitzgerald, had an impressive house that had at one time been a plantation home. The farm lands had been sold off; some was in leased cultivation, other had been re-zoned for industrial use. It was still too far out of town to be attractive for subdivisions and with the growth of industrial parks the location provided both privacy and security. The house had obviously been restored and I suspected a bit of custom remodeling had also been included. I drove up the drive to the house, hidden from the road by a grove of trees. I parked in the front and walked up to the front door. It was 10:30 am, so I doubted that I would be interfering with normal business activities. I rang the bell and waited. The sidelights were covered with sheer curtains; I could detect movement inside just as the door opened half way. A rather attractive woman dressed professionally (office professionally, not hooker professionally) stood there, appraising me.
“Yes? May I help you?” She asked guardedly. Apparently she wasn't used to customers arriving that early.
“Ms. Funderburk?” She didn't respond. “I'm Mark Stevens. I'm a private investigator” I held up my professional identification to the screen door. “I'm trying to find out some information about a young lady who may have worked for you some years ago. She provided...uh... personal services. May I come in?” She thought for a few seconds and then opened the door the rest of the way. I stepped back to allow her to unlatch and open the screen door and followed her into the house and down a short hallway. The decor was tasteful, understated. No erotic prints, no flocked wallpaper, no red sconces on the walls. A room directly off of the foyer held several upholstered chairs and two couches, all in a cream colored leather. Nice stuff. Thick rugs over gleaming heart pine floors. We arrived at an office. It also held several leather furniture pieces. A large flat screen was on, a business show was showing, the sound muted. A separate large monitor showed a rotation of closed camera views around the house. The front view, showing my car, was locked in the upper right corner. All entrances as well as the grounds were covered. Another screen was dark. I had noticed several small interior security cameras as well; I suspected that the other dark screen provide the internal security views. Ms “Funderburk” sat in the chair behind a large desk and motioned for me to sit in the chair across from her.
“Okay. So what's all this about?” She asked coolly. She was lithe, a superb body and lovely face. Her complexion was creamy and her hair shone. She was either a lot younger than I expected or had an excellent plastic surgeon. As in Hollywood good.
“Ms Funderburk...” I glanced up at the wall behind her. A framed cross stitch read “The customer always comes first.” That made me laugh and I turned away. She turned and read it, apparently had forgotten that it was there. She smiled as well. I started again.
“Ms. Funderburk, I have information that some years ago a young lady worked in this area providing...'personal services' shall we say. I don't know for sure that she worked for you; but it seems likely since this is a rather limited business environment. Not many establishments for her to choose from.” She remained silent. I got out the photo and put it on the desk in front of her. She was cool, I give her that. There was virtually no reaction; but I was looking carefully. She might have been a pretty good poker player, but one thing gave her away. As she glanced at the photo her pupils widened slightly. That little tale tell is why some poker players wear dark glasses. She recognized my mother-in-law.
“A very attractive woman. There are many attractive women around here. Why would you suspect that I might know her?” She asked.
“As I said, there aren't many places around here that she could do the type of work that she did with the privacy that she needed. From what I understand you're the only person who operates that way.” I responded. She thought a moment.
“And what makes you think I run a business that provides privacy?” She was not being either helpful or illuminating.
“Eleanor...or do you prefer Ms Fitzgerald?” I began. This did bring out a response. She sat up a bit straighter. She wasn't expecting this. “That is a photo of Mary Darling. Married to Jack Darling. A local housewife, now. I have good information that for a number of years she worked part time in a brothel in this area. I simply need some background information about her. Did she work for you?” She shifted slightly and looked past me. Her eyes returned to mine.
“I don't know how you got that name...” She began, but I cut her off.
“Ms Fitzgerald. I know a lot about you. That's what I do. I mean you no harm, I just need to find out about Mary Darling. Let's stop the bullshit. We both have other things to do.” I told her. “All this occurred years ago. The statute of limitations has run out. I don't have any malicious plans, I just need some information.”
“Then tell me why you need to know.” She retorted. “And then I might help you.” I waited a moment. This wasn't going to be easy.
“I married their daughter, Allison. She has the same problem her mother has...only worse.” I said. She looked at me for a minute. Then a smile crossed her lips. Then she rolled her head back and laughed. She laughed until tears ran down her cheeks and then kept laughing. Laughter is contagious, so after a minute or two I laughed a bit with her. At last she caught her breath and stopped. Eleanor gulped large breaths as the convulsions quieted down.
“OH SHIT!” She exclaimed. “You poor boy! If her daughter is even half as bad as Mary, much less worse, how could you even drag your ass this far out of the house?” She started laughing again. Apparently she remembered Mary. She calmed again. But she couldn't keep from grinning. “Mary Darling is a beautiful gal. I hated to lose her. Made us both a bunch of money. It really pissed off her husband, though. How is Jack these days?”
“Okay, I guess. I'm not real close to them and I'm starting to understand why.” I paused to think. “I'm more concerned with finding out a solution for Ally and me. Is there anything you can tell me about what helped Mary get over her...condition?”
“Get over? I don't know that she ever did. That woman liked to fuck more than anyone I've ever seen, man or woman. She would go all night. I mean REALLY go at it, all night. The airmen loved her. Probably still do, for all I know. She was insatiable.” She answered.
“So...she left your employ just as horny as she was when she started?” I asked. She nodded.
“Yep. About the only thing that would calm her down was two-fers. You know, two at a time. Front to back, top to bottom. Either or both, didn't matter.” She reflected for a second. “As I recall, she tried a three-fer a few times as well. Being airtight seemed to really do it for her. That's the only times I can remember her being relaxed when she left for the day.”
Great. Just fucking great.
“Did she say why she left?” I asked.
“Jack didn't like it. I can't say that I blame him.” She told me. “He was a bit of a jealous type, anyway. The only reason he permitted it as long as he did was that he couldn't keep up with her and didn't want to lose her.” I nodded at that one.
“Yeah. I know the problem. Real well.” I replied. She looked into my eyes.
“Well...you know...y'all could move down here. Maybe Allison could fill in like her...” She saw the expression in my face and stopped talking.
“You're the possessive type, too?” She asked. I didn't reply. “Well. Okay. I guess I can understand it. I've had several wives work for me over the years. They liked the money; or just weren't getting enough at home. Most husbands didn't like it, but they spent the money anyway. Some didn't mind it so much after their wife bought them a new bass boat. Priorities, I guess.” I stood and picked up the photo.
“Thank you, Ms Funderburk.” I said and winked. “You've been most helpful.”
“You're welcome.” She said. “Good luck. Lot's of lean protein, dark green leafy veggies. You'll need all the stamina you can get.” And she grinned at me. Thanks. Thanks a lot. Everyone's a fucking comedian.
My next visit would be to reconnoiter her parents’ house. Friday seemed like logical night to start with, so I told Ally I needed to be out doing some detective work the next Friday night. I gave her a rather intense session in the playroom on Thursday so that her horns might be trimmed back far enough to leave her alone for the evening. That and a Celebrator vibrator with extra batteries.
I parked down the block and around the corner from her folks' house and took a walk. My car is fairly nondescript – on purpose- though I'd rather have a sharper ride. But a beige three year old Buick is about as inconspicuous as you can get. Ally gets the Beemer. (After all, doesn't BMW stand for “Belongs to My Wife?”) I had an idea about their schedules, so I thought I might be able to avoid being seen by them. Around 7:30 a couple of guys showed up, rang the bell and were let inside. By 8 five men had been let in and the light over the front porch went out. I gave it another thirty minutes and rang the bell myself. Jack came to the door, opened it and saw me standing there. At first he didn't recognize me, or perhaps didn't want to. Then I said:
“Hi, Jack. How you doing?” He looked startled and quickly turned to look over his shoulder. Mary was walking down the hall away from us, her naked butt cheeks swaying. One of the guys was following her. He turned back, face reddened and stepped through the door and pulled it closed behind him. He didn't look happy. “Having a party?” I asked.
“What are you doing here?” He asked sharply. “What do you want?” He looked like he was building a head of steam and getting ready to explode.
“Relax. We need to talk. Let's sit down.” I motioned to the top step and sat down. He watched, standing, his hands clenching into fists and relaxing. Finally he relaxed. He let out a huff of air and sat next to me.
“What do you want?” He repeated; quieter, but still tense.
“I need to talk about you and Mary. And about me and Ally.” I said. He looked askance at me.
“About what?” He said. I took a big breath.
“I know something about Mary's...condition.” I said and he tensed again. He started to say something again but I cut him off. “Ally's got it too. And we need some help. About what to do. I understand how y'all are taking care of it” I jerked my head back at the house. “But we're not ready for that yet. At least I'm not.” He looked at me steadily, not saying a word. After a while he looked out at the street and nodded.
“It's a bitch. You think you're getting your ultimate fantasy. Instead you get a curse.” He sounded a bit bitter. Ya’ think? “She's beautiful. She's smart, she's sexy as hell; she’s just so much fun to be around. But she can't stop fucking.”
“Are you talking about Mary or Ally?” I asked. He looked back at me.
“Mary. How is Ally doing?” He asked.
“She's doing great. But she's killing me.” I answered. He nodded slightly.
“Yeah. Tell me about it. I feel like a pimp for my own wife just because I can't screw her 24/7. Sucks.” He paused. “So how are y'all handling it?”
“Not too good. That's why I'm here. Right now we've found that if she can get a really seriously strong orgasm that it calms her down for a day or two. I'm curious about what Mary did, or what the two of you did when Mary was Ally's age. I talked to Ms Funderburk.” With that he jumped and stared at me.
“You WHAT?” He said, but settled down. He looked away. “How is Eleanor, anyway?”
“She looks great. How old is she? She has to be older than she looks.” I asked.
“At least 70. Maybe 75. I bet she doesn't look over 55, does she?” He asked. I shook my head.
“Maybe 60, but even that's stretching it a lot. 70? Impossible.” I said.
“Sex keeps you young. Or, it does for women. It damned near killed me.” He said. “I don't know if she participates in the business side of it, but I suspect that she isn't celibate.
After a minute I asked:
“Has Mary slowed down any, compared to when she was younger?”
“Oh yes. We're only doing it once a day on the “off days”.” He said. “Then on 'poke her' nights she gets it five or six times. Sometimes more, if one or more of the guys is especially horny. She usually wrings them out pretty good the first time, though. When I opened the door I thought you might be a late comer. Excuse the pun. Hey, while you're here...” I looked at him.
“Thanks. I gave at home. NO, I'm NOT going to boink my mother-in-law.” I replied, a bit testily. He grinned at me.
“She's been wanting to try you out. She mentions it every now and then. I told her that you probably had your hands full.” He snickered. “Don't have any trouble sleeping though, do you?”
“Actually, sometimes I do. I wake up wondering just what the fuck I can do. Which gets back to my reason for being here. Any suggestions?” I asked him. He just shook his head.
“Will you tell me about when she worked at Ms Funderburk's?” I asked.
“No. But if you come back next Tuesday, around lunch, she'll tell you. That's the next 'poke her' day. She'll tell you more than you can stand to hear. After work I'll go find a beer and a TV somewhere and stay out of sight until the guys start showing up. Because by then she'll be hornier than a two headed billy goat. You better be wearing a chastity belt and leave the key at home. I bet she could suck a tennis ball through a tennis racket by the time y’all are through.” He just shook his head again.
So that's what I did. (No, without the chastity belt.)
The following Tuesday I showed up at lunch time. I had spoken with Jack again briefly; she was expecting me and had a nice lunch ready. She met me at the door; apparently had dressed for the occasion.
“Mark! Come in, come in. It's so nice to see you again. How's Allison?” She exclaimed as she ushered me through the door and into the kitchen.
“Fine. She's doing great. The job keeps her busy...but that's a good thing. She enjoys the work and it really is a great firm to work for.” I answered. I sat at the table; she poured me a glass of iced tea and put a plate of sandwiches down between us. A bowl of chips and another of pickles finished the serving. She sat down and smiled. Kinda like a cat after it has finished off a canary. Her silk blouse was well filled by her breasts, the resemblance between her and Ally was striking, right down to her high heels. High heels? At lunch time on a Tuesday?
“So what brings you to town?” She asked, as if she didn't damn well know.
“Sex.” I said, just for the reaction. She shivered and began fingering the buttons on her blouse.
“Sounds like fun. What did you have in mind?” She batted her eyes at me. “Isn't Ally living up to her 'wifely duties'?” I smirked at that one.
“Mary, you know she has. Just as you have. In spades. With a big casino.” I waited a second. “What I'd like to know is how you coped when you were her age so we can figure out what we can do.” She looked at me dreamily.
“Why don't I show you what I did?” She said huskily. “It's more fun that way.” She started to get up, but I held her hand and pulled her back down to her seat.
“No, thank you. I doubt that Ally would approve. Nor would Jack. And I don't either.” She pouted at me as I continued. “I just want to hear about some things that gave you some relief so that we can consider them ourselves.”
“Airmen.” She said dreamily, again. “Lots of Airmen. Y'all have a Naval Air Station nearby. I'll bet Naval Aviators can screw as well as Air Force ones.”
“I'm sure they can. But that's not exactly what we had in mind.” I said. “Allison seems to be able to tolerate less sexual activity the next day if she has an especially...” I paused again. How do you talk to a woman about her daughter like this? This whole scene was surreal. “Especially if she has a...a very strong orgasm.” I rushed it out. I had to.
“MMMmmm. Yes. A hard cum. A very hard cum.” She squirmed in her seat. “That helps me too. Maybe a couple of them. A really draining cum.” She closed her eyes. Her nipples were standing out; apparently long nipples was something else they shared. My slacks suddenly had less slack. I shook my head. This was my MOTHER-IN-LAW! She was also a hot, horny, beautiful female. Ohhh, shit.
“I remember one afternoon. At Ms Funderburk's. I would get there early, before the traffic got busy. I didn't want too many people to see where I was going. Plus I could get a head start with some of the early birds. Two airmen showed up. I was the only one in the parlor. They were disappointed because I was the only one and they hoped for one each. I asked 'which one of you wants to fuck my ass while I suck the other? Or do you want to do a sandwich?' They looked at each other and one pulled out a quarter. He flipped it and the other one called 'tails'. And that's what he got.” She smiled again; which turned into a grin. She took a sip of her tea and said. “I'll be right back.” And she left the kitchen.
When she returned she had changed out of the skirt and heels and had put on a pair of loose fitting gym shorts and flip flops. The shorts looked rather incongruous with the blouse. Kinda sexy, actually.
“If we're just going to talk and not do anything, I thought I'd get comfortable.” She said. “I hope you don't mind.”
“Not at all.” I replied.
“You know what happens tonight, don't you.” It was more a statement than a question. I just nodded. “Then you know I'm going to have to satisfy all those big, hard, horny men...”
“I thought it was all those big hard horny men were going to have to figure out a way to satisfy you. That's what it would be if Allison were here.” I responded. She blushed.
“Okay. You caught me. But I thought that since you're here to talk sex I would tell you some things and get myself pepped up for tonight.” She smiled again. “Do you mind if I...touch myself...while we talk?” Wonderful. I'm going to listen to my mother-in-law tell me about her days working in a whorehouse while she masturbates. I think I've fallen down a rabbit hole. Anybody seen Alice around here? If a funky cat shows up I'm going to strangle it!
“We...I mean those two airmen I was talking about and I went upstairs to my room. It didn't take them but a few seconds to get undressed. I was naked before they were. They said later that I was licking my lips while they got undressed. I don't remember that. I do remember that they looked delicious. A lot of the girls wouldn't kiss their 'guests' on the mouth...but these young men were just so tempting. When the first one sat down on the bed I put my arms around him and gave him a big wet sloppy kiss. He liked it; at least that was the impression I got. Then his buddy sat down beside me and I turned and gave him one. Then I laid back and they took over. My boobs are very sensitive. Especially the nipples. I think that Allison is that way too, isn't she?” I nodded, not wanting to interrupt. “They each took one. The one on my right was a sucker. The one on my left was a chewer. Mmmm. I like chewers. Are you a chewer?” She asked.
“Sometimes. When Ally wants it. Please. Go on.” I answered.
“While they were working on my breasts one started playing with my cunt. Do you mind if I'm a little descriptive? I can get a little nasty when I talk about it.” She asked. Again, I shook my head. “I'm just a whore at heart; I guess. Jack doesn't like it when I say that. But it's true. I'm such a slut.” She hunched up her shoulders and giggled. Her aroma started to waft to my nose. My pants got tighter still. I'm going to hell. I just know it.
“Anyway, one of them was playing with my cunt...my pussy. Is that better?” I shrugged. “Okay. Cunt. One was playing with my cunt while the other was teasing my belly button. I spread my legs and lifted my knees. So the one that was tickling my belly button...Allison likes to be tickled, too, doesn't she?” I just closed my eyes while she continued. “The one that was tickling my belly button slipped his hand under my ass and started pressing his finger against my asshole. Anus. I like 'asshole' better. He started rubbing his finger around my asshole. My cunt had gotten wet. Alright...my cunt pretty much stayed wet while I was working, but it had started to run down my crack. My…lubricant. His finger found some of my...lubrication...my juice. And he pushed against my asshole. He opened my pucker, so to speak. Now, I was playing with their cocks. And they had nice ones, too. One was a bit longer than the other, but the other was thicker. I didn't know which one I wanted where. Now...that's a fib. I wanted them both in both holes. Of course, not at the same time. I didn't find out about that until later. Have you ever put your cock in a woman’s ass while another cock is already in there? Of course I don’t mean Allison. I can’t imagine that.” I could. I could imagine it very well. The only reason that I didn’t think she hadn’t was that it didn’t occur to her. Yet. I shook my head.
“No, Mary. I haven’t. I’ve never done a three way. Either way.” I replied.
“Ohhhh…it’s wonderful. Both ways.”
She seemed to be in a different place. Some other universe. Where sons-in-laws get to fuck their mother-in-law. Was I in a hand basket?
“Where was I? Oh, yes. That beautiful young man was finger fucking my asshole. Lovely boy. Such nice hands. He slipped his finger inside me. Then he did it again. He put three fingers in my ass while his buddy had three more in my cunt.” She slipped into her reverie again. She returned “They really knew how to tease me. One of them turned to get his cock near my face. I couldn’t let that opportunity go to waste. I slurped it down my throat like it was a strand of spaghetti. Uncooked spaghetti. Maybe a whole box of spaghetti.” She giggled. “I think he was surprised that I got it completely down my throat. I guess he hadn’t had me before because that was one of my favorite tricks. I throat fucked him for a few minutes. I really took a lot longer than I should have. Eleanor didn’t like me to take too much time with the ‘guests’ because it slowed things down. But I wasn’t really there for the money. And I was one of her most popular girls. I made sure they felt special. They liked that. They made me feel special, too.” She closed her eyes, perhaps revisiting that day. She opened them and looked at me, a funny little smile on her lips. I could tell that her fingers were working inside of her shorts.
“His buddy got impatient. He wanted some of my throat, too. So I pulled away and took the other one down. This was the thicker one. I remember that it was hard to breathe with it filling my mouth like that. But I got it all the way down. The second or third time was easier. I got used to the size and could get a breath around it. Marvelous.” She paused, and then resumed her tale.
“While I was sucking the thicker cock, his buddy turned me on my side and lifted my leg. Eleanor had a hard rule about condoms, even back then. He had rolled one on while I was busy doing his friend. I felt him pushing against my asshole with his prick so I pushed back and felt him start to ease inside. By that time I was hot and didn’t want it easy. I pushed back again and felt him slide all the way inside me. When he groaned his buddy opened his eyes and realized what was happening. He had a hard time deciding whether to move down or stay where he was. But I wanted to feel him fill up my cunt. I pulled away and started moving against that lovely cock stabbing me in my asshole. That one didn’t waste any time moving down and getting up against my cunt. I wasn’t slowing down, either. That cock in my ass felt too good to waste. The other cock managed to get inside my cunt, finally. Then they really started fucking me. HEAVEN! Oh, my. That was good. No. It was great. Those two boys realized what they were doing and slowed down to make it last. They took turns slamming me, first one then the other. They started laughing, first at me, but then I started laughing with them. It felt WONDERFUL! I started to clamp down on which ever cock was moving. They had never felt a woman do that. I had pretty strong cunt muscles, too. I guess they’re really called kegel muscles…but mine were plenty well developed. I would bear down on one as he tried to slam into me…but he couldn’t. Then the other one would try and I would squeeze him too. They couldn’t believe it. But they loved it. They must have fucked me for almost forty five minutes. Eleanor came up while we were fucking. She probably listened outside of the room for a while before she knocked on the door. She yelled at me ‘what the fuck is taking so long?’ That made me laugh because she never used that kind of language. She ran a VERY proper kind of whorehouse. I just yelled back, ‘they’re just slow Ms Funderburk’ and I heard her walk away. She gave me hell later for spending so much time with them. They finally came and I thought they had passed out. But I guess they just nodded off for a few minutes. They each tipped me a hundred bucks. So it really wasn’t so unprofitable. And it was just wonderful.” She closed her eyes and drifted back a few years to that feeling of fulfillment.
I felt the basket drop a few more feet.
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