Isolated, Hurt and Full of Despair

  Isolated, Hurt, and Full of Despair

Stephanie finally found a moment alone. It was the fifteen minute break between second and third period at Boswell High School, an old dinosaur of a building that stood in the middle of town. The students were cluttering the hallways and everyone was laughing, playing, and having fun. It was that lazy time of year at the beginning of fall, when everyone was more focused on the football season than school work. Boys were chasing each other and goofing around in the halls and girls were checking out boys. The hormones of the young high school students almost burned in the hallways.

Stephanie needed a break from all of the tumult in the school. She had started a book last night, she was captivated by the plot and wanted to enjoy another chapter before her science class began. She slipped into the girls’ restroom. It was empty and she was glad to have a little space to herself. She slipped into one of the stalls. Her skirt was a rather long one and it awkwardly bunched up around her waist when she hiked it up, so she undid her belt and let it fall around her ankles. She slid her panties down also and sat on the toilet. She didn’t really have to use the restroom, but somehow it seemed to make sense to sit this way. She fumbled through her backpack and found her novel. There was a relaxing calm in the solitude of the restroom and she settled into this quiet sanctuary and quickly lost herself in the book.

She didn’t hear Tonya come into the restroom. Steph and been in a bit of a daze all morning and hadn’t noticed Tonya following her around. She was just sitting on the toilet, relaxed, and quietly reading her book, when the violence just seemed to come from nowhere.

Suddenly, there were hands reaching under her stall. Before she could react, Tonya had her skirt and panties and was yanking them off. Steph’s feet tangled in the bundle of fabric and she frantically tried grabbing for her clothes, but Tonya yanked hard and pulled Steph right off the toilet. Her whole midsection was dragged under the stall door before she finally kicked free. Tonya stood on the other side of the door holding her skirt and panties.

“You in there Steph?” Tonya barked. “You’re going to have to come out if you want to get your skirt back. Come on out and show me that sweet ass.”

Shit, what am I going to do? Stephanie thought. She still had her t-shirt, but when she stood, it didn’t reach past her waist. Should she just sit there? Should she call for help? She desperately wanted to stop existing. She didn’t want to be there. This was too horrible, too embarrassing, too agonizing, too painful.

“Stop it, give me back the skirt!”

“You’ll have to come out and get it.”

Stephanie resigned to this. She was trapped and needed to get this over with as quickly as possible. She put her book back into her backpack, swallowed hard, and unlatched the stall door. Walking out into the openness of the girls’ restroom, she stood before Tonya: a tall, beautiful, exotic girl, years of dance and gymnastics had formed muscles on her small frame. She was the desire of every young man that attended the school.

Steph knew that she was ugly compared to Tonya. She looked down at the floor, not wanting to make eye contact.

“Look at our little nerd girl standing there. Look at you, all naked and ashamed. You don’t want anyone to see that little pussy, do you? You don’t want me to look at the smelly little fuck-hole between your legs. You know that you are awkward and ugly; and the thought of standing here, naked, in front of me terrifies you, doesn’t it?”

Stephanie was hurt.  Tonya was perfect and beautiful and everyone loved her. Steph hated her body and she never wanted anyone to see it. Her legs were too skinny. Her pussy was too hairy. Her skin was too white. She stood there unveiled.

“Please, just give me my skirt back. If I did anything that bothered you, I’m sorry. Please, just give me my skirt.”

Tonya just smiled. “I’m going to throw you out into the hall.”

Everything happened fast. Tonya jumped at Stephanie and knocked her to the ground. Steph’s heart race and she fought with the frantic, panicked flailing of a wild animal. She was naked from the waist down. Everyone would see her. She imagined the digital cameras and cell phones capturing her image. She fought hard. She twisted and writhed. She squirmed free and tried to run, but there was nowhere to run, so she curled up in a little ball on the dirty restroom floor. Tonya grabbed her ankle and started to pull. Steph clawed at the floor. One of her nails broke off. It hurt badly, but she still kept digging her fingernail in, trying to stop her humiliation. Tonya just laughed and kept dragging her toward the door.

“Everyone’s going to see you. Everyone is going to see what an ugly freak you are. Every boy in the school is going to see that big hairy pussy. There’re all going to see what a loser you are.”

Tonya opened the door of the restroom. Steph was seconds from being thrown out. She prayed to die. Please, she thought, don’t let this happen.

Tonya laughed and closed the door back. Steph was still inside the restroom, hugging her knees and crying.

“Listen bitch! You can stay in here if you give me twenty dollars right now. All you have to do is give me twenty dollars and I’ll give you back your skirt and let you go today. That’s not much, is it?”

“I . . . I don’t have twenty dollars. I’d give it to you, but I really don’t have it . . . I just don’t have it.” Steph looked up with pleading eyes.

“Bitch, I want twenty dollars, and I fucking want it right now!”

“I don’t have it,” Stephanie sobbed.

Stephanie really didn’t have the money. Her mother used money to control her. She never had her own money and had to ask for everything. Her mother picked out all of her clothes and she hated wearing them. She never got to go to the movies or hang out at the shopping mall. Her weird clothes and lack of funds had made her an outcast. She had no friends. She was all alone.

Twenty dollars wasn’t a lot of money. If she had it, she could stop this. She hated her mother.

Tonya grabbed Steph’s backpack. She dumped her books out. Her notebooks and pencils were all over the floor. There was no money.

“Bitch, I need twenty dollars and you are going to bring it to me, and you’re not going to tell anyone about this.”

Tonya looked into the pile of stuff from Stephanie’s backpack. She saw a red folder that was labeled “A Critical Analysis of the Poems of John Donne.” This was the research paper that Steph had been working on for the past two months. Steph didn’t have a computer at her house to type the paper. She had to stay late after school and use the computer in the library. Students weren’t allowed to save files to the hard drive, and Steph didn’t have the money to buy a flash drive, so she printed it out as she typed. This was the only copy.

“That’s a very important paper. Leave it alone. It took a lot of work. If I pass my AP English class then I will get college credit. I really need that paper.”

“That’s a problem,” said Tonya, “because I really need twenty dollars. Maybe I need to flush this paper down the toilet.”

“No! Please!” Stephanie was desperate. She had to fix this. She crawled over to Tonya begging. “Please don’t! Please, please, please, don’t do this.” She was sobbing, her body was convulsing. She was helpless.

Tonya looked at her on the floor and smiled. “I’m keeping this paper for a while. Don’t worry; you’ll get it back just as soon as you get my twenty dollars.”

Tonya tucked the paper into her own backpack.

“Here, put your skirt back on.” She dropped the skirt onto the floor beside Stephanie. Steph grabbed it and pulled it up around her hips. She’d never been so glad not to be naked.

Tonya still held her panties. She looked at them longingly, but was afraid to say anything. Tonya looked at the panties for a second and dropped them into one of the toilets, flushing them down into the sewers below.

“You’re going to be naked under that skirt for the rest of today. Your hairy little pussy is just hiding under there, waiting for someone to slip up behind you and yank that skirt up to your neck.” Tonya laughed as she walked out.

Steph stood there all alone, worried about her paper. She really needed it. She didn’t have her panties. The thought of going the rest of the day without them was mortifying. Would Tonya really sneak up behind her? The idea made her sick. She wanted to stay in the restroom the rest of the day, but she knew she had to get to class. If she cut, her mother would get a phone call and that would cause more trouble. She looked at the pile of stuff from her backpack. She got a few paper towels and wiped her things off as she gathered them up. Then she washed her face in the sink. Her reflection stared back at her in the mirror, but she looked away. She couldn’t stand to see herself.

The rest of the day was hell. Steph was terrified of running into Tonya again. She went straight from one class to the next. She avoided restrooms, even though she really needed to use one. She was more shy and withdrawn than ever.

That night she told her mother she needed twenty dollars. Her mother wanted to know why she needed the money and she didn’t want to say. They fought, yelled, and argued. It ended when Stephanie locked herself in her bedroom and cried. It was just twenty dollars. Why did this have to be so hard? Other people at her school spent that much just going out to eat. This was so important. She really needed the money.

The next morning Stephanie did something she had never done before. She had been fighting with her mother over money for years. She had often thought about stealing money from her mother’s purse before, but never had. Mother was a hard woman. Her punishments were cruel and Steph avoided her wrath. This time it was different. This time it was necessary. She didn’t see any other way. Before leaving the house, she took the twenty dollars she needed.

The beginning of school was clouded by Steph’s distressed mind. She seemed to be moving through a haze of panic as she walked through the halls. She looked for Tonya all morning, she even asked around trying to find her.

She finally found her in the same restroom, right before third period.

“You still have my paper don’t you? I got the money. Here’s twenty dollars. Please give me back the paper.”

Tonya took the money, reached into her bag and pulled out the red folder.

“Girl, I’m tired of hearing you whine about your paper. You’ll get it back when I’m ready to give it back. Whey don’t you show me how much you want it. Will you show me your titties to get this back? Show me your titties girl.”

Stephanie was stunned by the request. Tonya was tearing her down, humiliating her every way possible. She chocked back more tears and unfastened her blouse. She pulled it open and stuck out her chest.

“Look at your nasty old bra, is it even clean? It looks like there is more pad in there than titty,” Tonya grabbed Stephanie’s chest. Steph winced as Tonya slid her bra aside and Tonya’s fingernail dug into her nipple.

“Take off that stupid bra so I can see those little titties.”

Stephanie slipped her shirt off and dropped in on the floor. She reached both of her hands behind her and unfastened her bra.

“If you want your paper back, let me see those titties shake.”

Stephanie wiggled her titties.

“Stick ‘em out. Do it harder. Let me see them slap each other.”

Stephanie stuck her chest out. She locked her hands behind her head. She shook her chest as hard as she could. Her little titties jiggled.

“Keep shaking them. Turn around; I want to see your ass shake too.”

She turned around. She kept shaking her titties while violently shaking her ass. Tonya’s fingers slipped into her waistband. She felt her skirt and panties yanked down to her ankles. She stepped out of them and Tonya picked them up. She didn’t break rhythm. She kept shaking her ass and titties as hard as she could.

Pow! Tonya’s hand slapped her ass hard. She didn’t stop shaking. Pow! The blows stunned her, but she kept dancing. If she kept this up, if she just let Tonya humiliate her enough, she could get her paper back.

“I know what I’m going to do with you. I’m going to take all your clothes and put them in the other bathroom on the second floor. We’ll see if you can sneak there during class and get dressed without getting caught,” Tonya smiled.

“Or maybe I’ll let you get dress without your panties again. Only this time you have to show your hairy little pussy to ten boys by the end of the day. Could you do that, just walk up to ten boys and pull that little skirt up and let them see what you got? I bet you could do that to get your paper back.”

“Oh! I’ve got an even better idea. Why don’t we have you stage a wardrobe malfunction in the middle of your next class? Your skirt could come off and everyone, even the teacher, could see your little pussy. Does that sound like fun?”

Stephanie didn’t know what to say. All of these possibilities sounded like nightmares, each playing on her worst fears.

“I’ll make a deal with you, Steph. You don’t have to do any of that, ok. There’s only one thing I want you to do. If you do it, you’ll get the paper back. Ok?

“What do I have to do?”

“It’s simple, you know Mike Lewis. He’s not expecting this. We’ll meet him in the parking lot after school. I’ll talk to him a little bit and get him to go off somewhere with us. When we’re alone, you have to flash him. Pull up your skirt, no panties, let him see what you got. It won’t be long, but you have to hold your skirt up until I tell you to put it back down, ok? He can touch you if he wants to, but I won’t let him do anything else. Your virtue will remain intact.”

This was actually the worst thing Stephanie could imagine doing. She had gotten a huge crush on Mike a few years ago. She watched him from afar everyday, thinking about him and wondering what it would be like to be in a relationship with him. He seemed really nice. She thought she might really have a chance with him. When she finally told him, he laughed at her. Soon everyone in the school knew about it and she became an object of ridicule. Her humiliation was long and hard. She would go home everyday and pick spitballs out of her hair. People mocked her in the hallways and laughed. Guys would throw bugs at her. Once several guys pushed her down and rubbed dirt all over her. Her clothes were ruined— but her mother made her wear them for months after.

Stephanie agreed to meet Tonya after school, anything to get her paper back. The rest of the day was agony. Stephanie couldn’t focus in any of her classes; she just imagined what it would be like, standing in front of Mike. Would he laugh at her again? She wanted him to like her so much. She wanted him to be turned on and she wanted to be loved. What was going to happen next? She quietly sat in her last class with tears streaming down her face. Sobbing quietly so no one would notice.

At the end of the school day she met Tonya in the parking lot.

“You ready girl?” Tonya said. “All this is going to be over soon. Got your paper right here. All you have to do is show your big hairy stink pie to ol’ Mike and maybe he’ll even fall in love with you this time. I wouldn’t bet on it though. He’s probably going to take one look at your pussy and tell you to come back when it’s clean. He hates you. He talks about you to the other guys that sit with us at lunch. They all laugh about what a nerd you are.”

Tonya squeeze Stephanie’s ass through the thin material of her skirt.

They found Mike standing right next to the school building. He was a tall lanky guy that always had stubble but never grew a beard. There was a dangerous sexy look to him that had captivated Stephanie for almost three years. She had already been rejected by him. Now she was going to make herself completely vulnerable to him. She was already so hurt. She knew that she couldn’t handle his rejection under these conditions.

“We’ve got a surprise for you Mikey,” said Tonya. “Follow us behind the shrubs over there.”

Mike joined the girls and they began to walk behind some of the shrubs that grew tall on the side of the school.

“When did you guys start hanging out Tonya? I didn’t know you liked freaks.” Mike said. He was looking right at Stephanie when he said it. She wanted to run.

“Don’t be so quick to judged her,” said Tonya. “She’s pretty cool when you get to know her.”

They slipped behind the shrubs into a place where several of the guys around school gather to smoke in the mornings before school. No one was here right now, but a lingering smell of smoke hung in the air. The ground was littered with cigarette butts and the burnt plastic and paper that always seemed to be around when young adults played with lighters.

“Go ahead,” said Tonya. “Make it quick.”

Stephanie took a deep breath. She would be strong for this and look him in the eye. Her eyes narrowed and she made her strongest, hardest face. She looked Mike in the eyes for a long time, until his gaze met hers. Their eyes locked into a stare. He seemed a little confused, like he didn’t know what to expect next. She moved her body inches from his. She held his gaze; her face hardened even more. She had to be tough for this. Without breaking her stare, she put her hands down by her sides and gathered the material of her skirt. She clenched it in her hands, exposing her legs to the cool afternoon air. Quickly, she yanked her skirt all the way up to her tummy. She held her gaze on Mike; he drew a quick breath and broke the stare, looking down at her. She expected his expression to change to disgust or amusement, but he stood there captivated. She heard him take a sharp breath, and his eyes where fixed on her lower half.

She moved closer to him. She pressed her body against his. His hard cock pressed into her. She had made a boy hard. . . . She had made Mike hard. He was looking at her naked body and was sexually excited. For the first time ever, she felt beautiful, dangerous, sexy.

His hands moved. They touched the backs of her legs. They went up . . . up. They slid under her skirt and cupped her bottom. She tingled and felt the goose pimples prickle on her skin. His hands rubbed the chill out and her body suddenly felt very hot. He leaned in and kissed her; she kissed him back. His hand was exploring her, teasing her. His fingers gently glided up her inner thigh. She spread her legs trying to draw him closer to touch her there. His fingers got so close to her sex, driving her crazy. Her whole body screamed for him to touch her. Finally she felt his two fingers pinch her outer lips together. She felt her clit growing hard from the pressure as he pressed. Another finger made a long slow journey right up the middle. It was getting so close, pressing so hard. Finally it touched her lit and slowly drew across it. She wrapped her arms around him as her knees buckled. She wanted him to throw her down on the ground. She wanted to be fucked. She didn’t care if anyone saw. She wanted to be fucked hard. Her fingers trembled. She fumbled with his pants, she couldn’t get them undone, but her hands felt his cock pressing through his jeans. She was being lowered to the ground. He slipped off one of her shoes and began to suck her toes, kiss her feet and start licking down her leg.

Oh God! Yes! He breathed his warm breath across her pussy. She felt his tongue lick hard and slow up her pussy. Up and down. Again and again. Her toes curled. Fingers slid inside her, his tongue kept moving. She wrapped her legs around his head. His tongue moved in a steady rhythm. Harder! Harder! Her whole body opened and she was one with the universe. Warm pleasure filled her and all of life was dreamlike. Her body was moving from abrupt pleasure to relaxed back to jarring pleasure again. She was lost in some surreal world.

Soon they were lying on the ground together. His arms were wrapped around her and she was filled with a feeling of peace and love. He kissed her and said he would see her again soon. Then he was gone.

Tonya was still there. She had forgotten about Tonya, who had watched to whole thing. Now she was confused. What did any of this mean? Did he love her? Did any of this matter to him? She was scared now that he was gone. Tonya gave her back her paper, but it didn’t seem to matter so much anymore. She felt strange.