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Chapter 29
Two days later I leave the auction house and return home with Dennis, feeling troubled and unsure how to find out if everything Dennis has told me is true. The first thing I need to do is see both you and Chrissie. I know that I can’t ask her outright if she had planned this, she would of course strongly deny it and if Dennis is lying about her then I would surely lose her friendship completely. I need to be sure of the facts and somehow find out the truth without her knowing. I am hoping that when I see both of you together my doubts will vanish. If Chrissie is truly my friend I know that despite what you have done, she will look after you because she knows how much I loved you once and I think she realises that I love you still.
I pluck up the courage to call her; just to catch up is my excuse, although I’m really just desperate for news of you. There is no answer, each time I call though the phone goes straight to voice mail. Frustrated I have no choice but to wait until she calls me back.
Days pass and although I have Dennis to fulfil my every need I’ve been unable to use him sexually since I got home, because for some reason now that I know things might not be as they seem I’m afraid that if it turns out that Chrissie is really the bad guy I will feel as if I’ve been unfaithful to you. I know it’s stupid, after all you are only a slave and I can have as many lovers as I want. It’s none of your business who I sleep with but I can’t quite make myself think of you as being that worthless. Instead I put Dennis to use giving me massages and licking and playing with my feet, in addition to his domestic duties. It is difficult to deny myself the pleasure of his body because he is an extremely handsome man and I am attracted to him, I can’t help that, but until I know the truth about you I can’t bring myself to use him. I don’t even allow him to sleep in your ‘room’. Since the night I cried myself to sleep clutching your collar, wrapped up in the thin blanket on your bed I’ve not returned to your room in the cellar. It is too painful to go in there. Instead Dennis sleeps on the floor, chained by his wrists to the foot of my bed.
I still can’t quite believe that Chrissie would really deceive me so cruelly and am half tempted to turn up at her house unexpectedly just to see how things appear to be between you before I start digging for information. Part of me though is scared to do that because I know that legally I am not allowed to have any contact with you unless Chrissie gives her express permission. I also realise the reason why I’m trying to put off investigating what happened is because I’m terrified of finding out that my life long friendship with Chrissie has been a lie and I’ve been a fool all my life. But equally I know that if I wait until I have seen you both before I start trying to find out the truth I will not be able to forgive myself if it turns out to be true and I have left you to suffer at her hands for longer than necessary, so with a heavy heart I decide to go back to the pub where it all went wrong the following day.
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Waking early the following morning I release Dennis from the chain keeping him tied to the bed and allow him to rise. Stretching his cramped and aching body he murmers his thanks before dropping to his knees to bend forward and kiss my bare feet, a ritual he has completed every morning for his real Mistress and now continues to do the same for me without prompting. Although he senses I am more relaxed and easy going than his own Mistress he automatically does the same things as he does for her, partly because it is now ingrained into his psyche and partly because he is afraid that if he lapses into what She would see as laziness he could end up being severely punished when he returns to her. As he knows to his cost punishment is not pleasant!
He remains with his lips against my toes until I push his face away with a flick of my right foot. Obediently he draws back into a kneeling position with his manacled hands behind his head, keeping his eyes downcast. Feeling apprehensive about what I must do that day and a little irritable from lack of sleep I snap at him to get off his lazy arse and run a bath for me. When he stands up to move toward the bathroom I snap again.
‘I don’t remember telling you to stand up! Get on the floor and crawl to the bathroom like the worthless slave you are!’
Silently he drops onto his hands and knees and crawls across the carpet to the en-suite bathroom to run my bath. When it’s ready he returns to the bedroom still on all fours and waits for me to notice him. I ignore him for several minutes and then shout at him for kneeling there like a fucking idiot expecting me to read his mind. ‘I assume my bath is ready?’ I ask in a voice heavy with sarcasm.
‘Yes Mistress. I’m sorry I didn’t want to speak without permission.’
‘Hmm well where is my breakfast??’
‘I’m sorry Mistress I didn’t realise you wanted it now. I thought you would want your bath first.’
‘Well I bloody well do and I expect it and a cup of tea to be brought to me in bed while I’m waiting for my bath. Didn’t it occur to you to ask me?’
‘No Mistress. I’m sorry. It’s not my intention to offend you. I’m just not sure how you wish me to serve you. My other Mistress does not allow me to speak without permission and I did not want to presume that I could talk to you freely. I am not allowed any free will at my Mistress’ home. My Mistress gave me a list of duties and instructions when I entered her home of things I must do each day. I am not allowed to deviate from those duties unless given a direct order.’
‘Well you will find in my home that I expect my slave to anticipate my needs so I suggest you start ‘anticipating’ unless you want to end up being tied to the whipping post in the cellar!’
Shoulders slumped he meekly replies ‘Yes Ma’am.’
I feel a bitch having a go at him. It’s not his fault he doesn’t know my routine. I know that I am being a cow to him because he has shaken my belief in what happened between Chrissie and you. But it isn’t his fault, he is only trying to help you. I also know I should take the time to instruct him in how I run things in my household and what I expect from him but it irritates me that I should have to. I’d spent ages training you to be the perfect slave and things were ticking along nicely until I made that stupid decision to try and recapture our earlier happy years together by taking you out to the pubs. I should have left you at home, locked safely in your cage or secured to your bed in the cellar and gone out with a free man for the night. Then neither of us would be in this position now.
Climbing back out of bed I leave him kneeling at the side of it while I go into the bathroom and slip into the bath, relaxing back into the bubbles. Hearing the faint rattle of chains I guess that he has started anticipating my needs and gone to the kitchen to make me a cup of tea.
My guess is right as five minutes later he returns to the bedroom carrying a tray with a bowl of cereal and a cup of tea. Still on his knees he crawls carefully across the bedroom floor to the bathroom, worried about spilling any of the drink onto the tray incase it sends me into another fit of temper. He breathes an inward sigh of relief as he makes it to the bath without spilling a drop. Unfortunately for him I’m still not happy.
‘How stupid are you?? How the hell do you expect me to eat a bowl of cereal while I’m lying in the bath?!’
Picking the bowl up from the tray I fling it across the room showering the contents over the walls, toilet and floor. Luckily, for him anyway, the bowl doesn’t break. Picking up the cup of tea I peer in disgust at the weak and insipid looking colour of it. The tea immediately follows the cereal.
‘Can’t you do anything right?’ I scream at him. ‘If Roy was here he would have made sure I had my breakfast in bed and the cup of tea would have tasted perfect. He knows how important that is to me. If he was here….’
We both realise as I am saying it that I am directing my anger at him because I desperately miss you and I’m angry with you at the same time for leaving me alone, for the second time in my life. As I burst into tears Dennis doesn’t know what to do. He’s scared that if he comforts me I will fly into another rage but he also doesn’t want to see me upset. He once promised you that he would look after me if he ever became my slave and he can’t just kneel there and watch me sobbing my heart out.
Tentatively he reaches out and strokes my hair, at the same time murmuring words of comfort.
‘Please don’t cry Mistress. Roy will come home to you one day – soon. We will find out what happened and he will come back to you I promise. Let me help you, please. We will find away together to bring him home to you. Please don’t cry; it will be alright.’
His words make me feel even worse. Not only have I probably done you a huge injustice I have been a bitch to the one person who wants to help me. Although he is only a slave I feel the need to apologise.
‘I’m sorry for my behaviour towards you. You don’t deserve it but please leave me alone. I need to be by myself. Clear up the mess and go to the kitchen and wait for me.’
As he clears up the mess made by the scattered breakfast as quickly as he can I take deep breaths, trying to regain my composure. I hope he is right. All I want to do is bring you home to be with me where you belong...….
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