Who is the Boss

                                Who’s the Boss

                              Deidre’s Journal

Authors Note: I have been requested to go into more details of how Master felt about the way he was treating his slave. That is simple enough. I was also asked to give Deidre’s reaction to her ordeal. That is a little more difficult. I was writing this from Master Dave’s perspective. However, I do like to oblige my readers. What I am going to do is give Deidre’s journal. This will eliminate a little of the suspense from the main story line. However I remember when “The Search for Spock” came out Shatner did an interview and said, “We cannot end the film with me looking into the camera and saying, “We cannot find him.”  In other words, the story requires Master Dave to win the battle of wills.  Deidre’s journal will date from after her final acceptance of Master Dave’s will.

Master asked me to write down my reactions to his treatment of me. Of course, I now understand what Master was doing and why. But Master wants the best that I can recall of my reactions at the time.

The first thing you must understand is just how much I enjoyed and needed the climaxes that Master granted me. After that first night, my only fear was that he would leave me. I would do anything to keep him happy. Of course , at that early date, I did not know what “anything” would mean. I was shocked when Master took me doggie style. I was so innocent, I had not heard of it. And when he came inside me, and asked me to clean him off with my tongue, I thought he must be joking. This was  outside the realm of the possible. He might as well have asked me to stand on my head and juggle with my feet. It is not so much that I could not do it, it is that I never thought of the possibility.

 I soon learned that if I wanted to continue to enjoy the way Master made me cum, I would have to continually have to please him. Master could go anywhere for his sexual pleasure, I have not found anyone else who can please me the way Master can. I am extremely inexperienced and unskilled, and I knew that to keep Master happy, I would have to put pleasing him at the top of my agenda.   

And Master continued to make me feel so good. I did whatever he wanted, whatever he suggested. I became his slut. I did things that I did not believe possible. But I felt guilty. I was doing all these terrible things, things my father used to spank me for, and Master was making me feel great. I tried not to show it but I was bothered. Then Master introduced me to spanking, first by hand, then with a paddle, whip and cane. On the one hand it hurt, Master had a hard hand, and it had been a long time since my father spanked me. Then Master moved on to the paddle whip and cane. This was a world of pain that I never experienced. It hurt like hell, but on the other hand, I deserved it I was doing things that were terribly wrong, I was becoming a slut. This was not how I was raised. I needed to be punished. I wanted to be punished.

So I set out to get punished. It was the only way I could feel that I earned the right to the tremendous pleasure that Master gave me. But Master did not punish me as much as I needed. I kept wanting Master to punish me, and Master did not punish me as much as I wanted him to. The night of the end of school dinner, I did every thing I could to get him to give me the whipping I knew I deserved. Master started out well, giving me the hardest caning I have ever received, but when he noticed how much I enjoyed the caning, I felt so good about it I actually came, he stopped. He put me to bed immediately. I knew something was wrong.

Then in the morning, he acted as if nothing was wrong. We would just go for a drive, he said. It would be a surprise so I would wear a blindfold. No bra and panties, that was not unusual. He was rather generous with the coffee and water, but I didn’t realize what he was after. It was a long ride. After a while I had to piss and I asked Master to stop the car. He said I could wait until we got where we were going. I had no idea how long we had gone and no idea of how long we had left. All I knew is that I really had to go. I crossed my legs and squirmed. I hadn’t been so humiliated since I was a little girl. This was not something that I enjoyed.

Finally we got to where we were going. Master said he would let me piss when I stripped and got on my knees. I never stripped so fast, before or since. As soon as I got on my knees, Master grabbed my wrists and handcuffed them behind my back.  I was mad. This was not what I expected. I started to curse Master, when he pinched my nose and stuck something in my mouth. It was some type of sponge ball, that tasted like piss. I found out that it had been soaked in piss. It was a big sponge ball, it kept a constant pressure on my jaws. I tried to push it out with my tongue, but it was too big. There was a scene in MASH where a Marine had a billiard ball stuck in his mouth. That is what I felt like.

So there I was, on my knees, on a leash, and I still had to piss badly. But I was getting mad. Master took me out and to a fire hydrant and told me to get on one knee and piss. I was so mad, I just could not. Master was not even calling me by name. He was calling me Slave. Did master still love me?  When Master told me to piss, I refused. I hoped that Master would whip me as punishment. But he refused. He just put me in a hay filled stable and closed the door. I had to piss in the hay. It went all over my legs and feet. I had never pissed myself before. I could do nothing. I was blindfolded and my hands cuffed behind my back. All I could do was soak in my own piss and cry. I was cursing out Master in my head, but because of the gag I could not speak. I was angry, scared and lonely.

I was still blindfolded and I had no idea of how long I had to lie in the piss soaked straw. I was getting more and more angry. I had no idea where Master was, when, or if he would come back, and what I would do if he did not. I do not like being so totally helpless. When Master is with me, I trust him, but in Masters absence, my imagination went into overdrive.  When Master finally came and got me, I had come as close as I ever had to losing it completely. Master removed the gag, but told me that I was not permitted to speak. I was not concerned. I wanted to tell master what I thought about the way he was treating me. If I thought about the consequences, I thought that Master would finally give me the whipping I knew I deserved and wanted so badly. But Master refused to whip me. He put in a new gag, that tasted even more foul than the first. This, Master told me, was soaked in piss and cod liver oil. I have never tasted anything that vile. Master assured me that if I needed another gag, it would be soaked in dog shit. I started to think that Master was one step ahead of me, that Master was not going to do what I wanted. He was going to make my life hell until I obeyed him.

Master chained me over a bench and threw cold water over me, cleaning my ass and cunt from the piss and hay. Then he found a new way to torment me. He started to play with my cunt, just the way that I love. I was getting wet and excited. I thought that Master was going to let me cum, as a reward for the hell he was putting me through. I could not have been more wrong. My hell had just begun. Master played with my clit to the point where I just needed one touch to cum and then stopped. My cunt was dripping. I was squirming, but Master pulled away, and with my legs spread there was no way that I could make myself cum. I waited, my breath slowly returning to normal, and then Master started again. . Again, I came so close to climax, again Master stopped before I reached that magic moment. Again, and again, and again, and again, and again. My pussy was soaked. I was dripping from my cunt and I could feel my juices roll down my thighs, past my knees and to my feet. I wanted to cum so badly.

Finally Master stopped and told me that he wanted my obedience. He was not going to please me until I proved my desire to obey and please him. I made up my mind to try things his way, since my way was obviously was not working.

He again removed the gag and ordered me to be quiet. I obeyed, as disobedience was getting me nowhere fast. Master put in front of me two large bowls, one filled with oatmeal, and one filled with cold water. I was ordered to eat and drink my fill, so, still blindfolded, on my knees, and using only my mouth, I ate and drank. I was hungry and thirsty, but I felt more like an animal than a human being as I ate in this humiliating position, hand cuffed behind me, ass in the air, using only my mouth.

When I finished, Master gave me a new order. I was to suck his cock, and if I satisfied him, I would be rewarded. I thought that he would let me cum, and I worked as hard as I could to please him. I alternated between short bobs and going so deep that I almost gagged. I used my tongue, especially on that special place under the head. Most of all, I sucked as if trying to get ice cream through a store. Finally, he grabbed my head and pushed it as deep as he could, until my lips were pressing hard against his pubic hairs. He held me there, trying not to gag, trying to swallow as he shot jet after jet of his glorious sperm inside my mouth. I knew he was satisfied. He even told me so. But instead of letting me cum, he gave me a few slices of apple, from his hand. Did he really think that I was a horse? First he puts me in the stables, now he gives me slices of apple as a reward for the best blow job I’ve ever given him. I did not understand.

Then came something else I did not understand. First he granted me the power of speech. Mainly he wanted me answer his questions and to thank him for allowing me to serve him. However he did allow me to ask for permission to speak. If he granted me this permission, I could ask him for things, such as being allowed to piss and shit, or anything else that crossed mt mind. I immediately thought of begging him to be allowed to cum, but he immediately said that was one request that I must never make. He would make that decision without any input from me. I was however, after being granted permission to speak, be allowed to beg him to STOP playing with me, when I felt that I was in danger of cumming without permission. What a fiendish idea. When all I wanted to do was cum, I would have to beg him to stop what he was doing so I would not cum. And all this had to be done politely, Addressing Master as My Lord, and careful in tone as well as word.

This was going to be hell, but at least I could understand it. Then Master said he was going to teach me to breath. What the hell did that mean? Well for the next few minutes, it meant that I was on my knees, with my tongue out, panting like a dog. Okay, he wanted me to pant like a dog, I panted like a dog. Ours is not to reason why and all that jazz. Then he had me stand up, still blindfolded, still with my hands cuffed behind my back, and breath at his command. In, out, in, out, in, out. First he established a nice even pace of breathing, then he slowed down with deeper, longer, breaths then shorter, quicker breaths. Then he mixed them up, at random. He called in, I breathed in, he called out, I breathed out. This was ridiculous.  I could not see what this was about and stopped paying attention. I was breathing since I was born and could do so without Master’s orders. Master proved me wrong again. He punched me in the solar plexus. I could no longer breath at all.

The punch came out of the blue. I fell to the floor in a fetal position. I could not breath. Gradually I was able to gasp in precious air. While I was still doubled over, Master said that if I would not follow his orders I was worthless to him. He said that from now on that would be my new name Worthless. I was till struggling to breath when Master asked me my name. I gasped out as quickly as I could “My Lord, my name is Worthless.” Master had me get up to my feet and resumed “teaching” me to breath. He said it pleased him to see me obey his orders and would help me focus on him. I did my best to follow his commands. He introduced a new step. Rather than just in and out, he had me hold my breath for varying periods, not too long as to stretch my lung capacity, but enough that I was conscious that I was truly breathing at his command. I have no idea how long this went on. Finally, Master concluded by having me spend some time panting like a dog.

Master was pleased with my obedience. He asked me if I had anything to say before I put her into the stable for the night. I realized that I did not want to piss on my bed of hay, so I begged for permission to piss and shit. Master, for reasons that I would understand in the morning only allowed me to piss. He walked me to the hydrant and watched while I raised my leg and pissed like a dog. Then he cleaned my cunt with cold water. I figured I could hold my shit overnight and was looking forward  to going to sleep, but Master had one more torment for me.

He started to play with my cunt and clit. I knew what he was doing. I knew how this scene must end I started to think of the appropriate way to beg for the last thing on earth that I wanted. I was breathing faster and faster. My cunt was dripping. I was trying to control myself, but I had no chance. Finally I had no choice but to beg. “My Lord your slave, Worthless begs permission to speak” Permission granted Master replied. “My Lord I humbly beg that my Lord stop playing with my cunt.”  Master did not going to let me  off the hook. “Why? It seems to me that Worthless enjoys having her cunt played with” “Oh yes, My Lord, Your slave Worthless enjoys My Lord’s fingers on her cunt very much, so much that I will soon cum.” Master was not finished yet He  continued “AND why is that a problem? Doesn’t my slave Worthless love to cum more than anything in this world?”  I  was gasping and desperately trying to prevent myself from going over the top, I was holding myself rigid, not allowing myself  to rock against Master’s  hand. “My Lord, above all else, I must obey you, My Lord, and you have ordered me not to cum. Please My Lord, help me as I try to obey you. I was crying from the stress of holding back. Thankfully, Master stopped and moved away his hand.  It took a long time before my body relaxed enough for me to sleep in my stable.