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Wayward Wife's Punishment - Chapter 38
Oh joy, oh boy! We awoke to that strange
silence that can only be caused by an overnight snowfall. As a youth I remember
being galvanized by this sign that nature had once more taken over the world,
and perhaps school might be canceled so I and my cohorts could go out and
frolic in the very same snow that seemed to paralyze the adult world. Now all I
could do was curse the fates and wonder just how bad it would be to drive
anywhere, like back to my apartment and then fight the traffic into the rabbit
warrens. Then I consoled myself by the thought of Frances Forbes having to
drive over here in the snow to pick up the remains of her roommate and take her
back to their place so she could begin the recovery process.
My bedmate rolled over and groaned,
realizing as I had that there was fresh snow on the ground. A glance at the
clock told me that it was time to rise and open our eyes. We were sitting at
the kitchen table nursing our coffee when Frances pulled up to the door, come
for her friend. While Lilith let her in, I hot-footed it upstairs to free JJ
from her bonds and other adornments so she could be transported to the safety
of her home by a friendly face. Considering what she had experienced in the
past two days she was in pretty good shape. I took this opportunity to warn her
that if she tried to undo my sewing, she'd be in a world of hurt in no time
flat once Lilith got wind of it. All she did was nod and then limp slowly as we
went down to the main floor of Lilith's home.
We set the prisoner free and watched as
Frances navigated the driveway and fishtailed onto the main road leading to
35West. At least she was driving at a time when there was minimal traffic. It
looked as if the worst of the snow was history, and now appeared if one acted
as if his or her head were screwed on properly, driving would not be the
bugbear the TV yahoos tried to make it out to be. I made my exit shortly
afterward, using the very same excuse I mocked only moments ago, the weather. I
went out of my way not to use such expressions as "See you at work."
"Have a good day." "I sure had a good time boss." Instead I
grunted and cursed the traffic I'd be facing shortly, the proper way to end an
assignation of the type we had shared.
By some miracle or a gift from the gods I
made it back to my apartment, showered and dressed for success, ho ho ho, and
managed to make it to work a few minutes early with most of my mental
equilibrium intact.There had been only one minor brush with death caused by a
woman putting on her lipstick as she changed lanes before noticing that I was
occupying the very space she had intended to fill. "Cheated death
again" was all I could say as I mentally attached her body to four cars
and watched them drive off in four different directions.
My mechanical children had behaved
themselves very well over the weekend. A couple of backup systems had to kick
in to save a few machines from frying their innards, but that in essence was
all there was to discuss, that is if anyone ever asked me. I made my rounds of
the various departments to make sure that all was well before hunkering down in
my cubby hole and working on some paperwork. I was surprised to hear Frances
Forbes on the other end of my line when the phone rang.
Her voice was low and dripping with venom,
threatening me for the terrible things I'd done to her dear friend. For just a
brief moment I wanted to go upstairs and strangle the bitch with her own damned
telephone cord. Instead I hung up. She would not leave well enough alone, well
that was going to be just too damned bad for her. Frances had rung my bell,
that was certain. Little did she realize that I was a short timer, which made
me very dangerous for a person like herself. I owed her one for that nightmare
evening, and perhaps it might yet be feasible to leave the area with the slate
wiped clean or the scales balanced, or whatever cliche one could dream up for
taking my revenge.
I guess Frances forgot that I had JJ's
phone number. I called the dear lady and naturally got her answering machine
and that clipped British voice intoning she was unable to come to the phone
but would get back to me straight away
if I left my name and phone number. I did a bit more than that, informing the
lady in question that her dear friend, Frances, had effectively declared war on
me over the nasty things that had been done to her good friend. Since this
would require a joint apology from Ms Forbes and herself, no earlier than 7AM tomorrow, the date for removing her stitches
was now moved back one day. In the event that no apology was forthcoming by end
of day, 5PM, the date would be moved back another two days.
That evening I checked my mail, looking
for perhaps a missive from my sister-in-law, at least I think she still
qualified. All there was were the usual bills and special offers attempting to
separate me from my hard earned money. There was no doubt that something was
pulling me strongly to initially move in a southernly direction and soon.
Despite the miserable weather, Spring was not far off, except in this neck of
the woods. Suddenly it hit me that I would in all likelihood see my cheating,
wayward wife, Jill, for the last time when I went to visit my in-laws and oh by
the way, how's Jill these days? I was curious as to their reply.
My anxiety level was beginning to rise. It
felt as if every day I stayed in the Stygian darkness of another Minnesota
winter, my soul was diminished as another twenty-four hours that I would never
have again were flushed down the toilet along with my morning bowel movement.
Tomorrow I would give notice, two weeks, the absolute minimum I could get away
with based on my years running the maze. Before I turned in for the night I had
made a list of things to do, which gave me a slight feeling of accomplishment
for the day. That did not prevent the nightmares from coming, peopled by a cast
of characters designed to fox and fool me about who was doing what to whom.
The
surly representative of management known as "human resources"
accepted my resignation after a brief but intense inquisition as to my reasons
for leaving this outstanding position with its unlimited opportunites and
unbelievable security. Whoever thought that name up is probably permanently
ensconced in the Liars Hall of Fame, if such a place exists. The very next day
my replacement arrived, a young bright-eyed, bushy-tailed graduate of one of
the local technical trade schools. Outside of being awed by the equipment and a
bit too eager to shove me out the door, he was fine. In fact he fit in so well
that I had a few opportunities over the next week or so to violate company
regulations by extending my lunch or even going home early to do some of the
things that were required before I could have my fetters removed.
I caught a fantastic break when my
landlord managed to land a young lady who was in desperate need of an apartment
within the next two weeks. I took it as a sign from the heavens that what I was
doing was in concert with the spheres that those of us insiders knew made the
world go round. To add to my good fortune, the five year old Honda that
transported me from one trouble spot to the next was pronounced good to go by
the local mechanic once a belt or two and various fluids were replaced at a cost
that was outrageous. I couldn't help remembering the advertizing guru who
almost destroyed his career by coming up with the slogan, "Brought to you
by the friendly folk who gave us Pearl Harbor". That did not go over well
even after forty some odd years.
While all this was going on around me, the
war with the bitches was still in full swing. JJ and her cohort had waited
until ten minutes before the deadline to call and offer their snide apologies.
I accepted them in the spirit in which they were given and set a date for the
grand unveiing of JJ's vagina, to be held at my apartment. I demanded that
Frances be in attendance as well and announced that both would be expected to
pose for photographs that would capture this great moment for posterity, and offer
me some degree of protection from future harassment on their part. At this
point I was sure that neither had any inkling of my imminent departure from the
rabbit warrens.
( To be continued - lex ludite
)