Big Bad Wolf (or how I learned to Love my Rapist)

 

big bad wolf

(or how I learned to love my rapist)

 

In 1997 I was renting a house in north london, it was a mid-terrace and the walls were paper thin and the decor hadn't been touched since the seventies but the rent was cheap and I liked it, even if it meant turning the gas fire up on all four orange bars to heat the little place up in winter. It was set in a quiet cul-de-sac that lay behind a busy main road that was dotted with shops and had three local pubs. It was okay. I liked it in my own way. It was independance, my own space. I had no front garden but if I looked out my kitchen window I could see a wide green space and in the spring the trees that dotted it looked lovely as the wind shook their blossom like confetti. Plus I liked my nightlife and the local pubs were literally around the corner.  In the short time I'd lived there I'd made quite a few friends. I was out of work that summer, spending more than I could afford socialising and when I wasn't drinking I was being lazy at home. I wasn't all that materialistic, as long as I had enough in the bank to pay the rent and the bills I was happy just getting by. Life was easy and lazy and the summer promised to be long and hot and I had a back garden where I could sleep on my sun lounger when I had nothing better to do.

I had no idea my life was about to change forever. For this was the year He  came to me.

It started when this girl I knew called Lisa who was small and slim and always made her whisky last a long time came into the pub looking distraught. I was sitting at the end of the bar, having sat outside for a while in the sun which did not mix with cold beer I'd decided a bit of shade was in order. And she had come in, glanced around, not even said hello which was unusual for her. We always spoke. She went straight to the other end of the bar where a small, middle aged woman sat with 20 fags and a milk stout in front of her. Lisa's mother Ellen. As they spoke I could'nt help but overhear. They were almost arguing and the pub was so quiet what with the weather and most people outside I could'nt help but overhear their conversation.

"I'm not doing, it mum!" She said firmly, "I can't take it..I can't go through this ..you know what he's like.."

Her mother glared at her. I'd never seen Ellen glare at her daughter before. They always seemed so close. "I'll move out.!"

Her mother seemed weary, as if the arguement had been going on for a long, long while.

"Don't be daft you can't afford to move out...you wasn't like this before.. you would have done anything to have him home."

And guilt clouded her eyes.

"Don't, mum.."Was all she said.

I'd wandered over by now and put my drink on the bar. I was surprised to see Lisa had tears in her eyes.

"You okay?"

Ellen had a face like thunder.

"Not really, Chloe."She said to me, "My son's been away for a long time and his own sister doesn't want him home.."

Been away? I didn't even know Lisa had a brother, let alone a brother who had been to prison.

"What did he do?"I asked her.

The look on her face told me I'd made a mistake before Ellen even spoke.

"No, not prison - "

"Nearly."Lisa cut in. Her mother ignored that and put me straight.

"He's not been to prison. A year ago he was mucking around joyriding with his mates - "

"Cos he used to do a lot of stupid things like that - "

"Will you shut up! " Her mother snapped, "He was a bit silly a lot of boys are at that age..he was only seventeen..well he was'nt driving one of the other lads was. He lost control and it went off the road and rolled down a bank. The other two both died. He was the only survivor. He was badly hurt. He can't even remember getting in the car. He was in hospital for so long all I've wanted is to have him home and now he's home she - "And she jabbed an accusing finger in Lisa's direction, "doesn't even want him home."

Lisa was looking at me with pleading eyes as if I could have a magic answer, but I didn't.

"Well, he is your brother." Lisa gave me an evil look as if to say, thanks a lot.. now I felt awkward. I knew her well enough to give an opinion but maybe not well enough to get involved in this. The closest I'd come to her family life had been three weeks ago when I'd gone round on a sunday to their white washed four bedroomed terraced house just around the corner on the council estate. I'd assumed Lisa was an only child. She'd never mentioned a brother.

"What's so wrong with him coming home then?"

Lisa's eyes were still tearful.

"He's a bastard."She stated, "Always has been always will be. And he's worse now."

"He's not worse Lisa, he's just changed a bit...you didn't feel like this when he was lying in that bed on a life support machine!"

Those words seemed to cut in her a bit.

"That's because I thought he was going to die."

Ellen lowered her voice and she said quickly: "Well you can shut up now..Chloe, this is my son.."

I'd been so busy with Lisa I hadn't noticed someone had joined us at the bar. He was standing next to me. Lisa looked down at the floor, then turned away slightly as if desperate for a distraction. Looking at him, I found it hard to believe he was the same person Lisa hated so much : He was a little taller than me, with light brown hair and steel-grey eyes. He was nothing like the way I'd imagined him. He was gorgeous, and dressed in that white shirt and dark blue suit he looked nothing less than handsome. He had a warm smile and a voice like silk.

"My name's Shane."he said quickly, "Nice to meet you.."
Then he turned to his mother.

"Before you ask, no I've no idea how the interview went - but I think they was'nt too impressed with my background.."

"Well you're trying."Ellen replied, "You staying for a drink?"

"No I'm going home..I'm too hot I need to get changed.."

"See you later Chloe.."

And as he turned to leave, he smiled at me again. He was gorgeous and sweet and I wanted to call Lisa a liar! What ever had gone on before, clearly he had changed. Even his mother was on his side.

I had to see him again.  Shortly after he left, I left too, hoping to bump into him. But I didn't. When I got home I went upstairs and laid on my bed, closed my eyes and thought about things I couldn't share with my friends. If Lisa or her mother knew what had gone through my mind when I looked at him, neither of them would have spoken to me again. In fact they probably would have told everyone in the pub and nobody would have spoken to me again, not ever.......

I laid on that bed with my legs open and my fingers gently stroking my swollen cunt  as my thoughts flickered back and forth to the gorgeous young man in the bar, who had survived that that wreck of twisted broken metal. I could picture him lying there, still young and beautiful but framed by broken glass with blood staining his white shirt. I wondered, if I took his clothes off, would I find a perfect body or would he have scars? Would he take my hand and suddenly feel self conscious and tell me, don't..not there.. I wanted to hold him naked in my arms while I ran my hands over his body and stroked his silky hair and kissed away his pain. I could picture him in the hospital naked except for a thin white sheet, tubes in every orifice while the machines bleeped and flashed and kept track of his vital signs. In my mind's eye I went over to him and ran my hands over his body, I kissed him and whispered his name....then I drew back the sheet and ran my fingers through his pubic hair, then I gently drew out his catheter and sucked on his cock until it became hard, I worked my mouth up and down the shaft of  it until he pumped hot semen and I swallowed it all, the only sign that I had touched him was the increased rate of his heart monitor and a brief rise in blood pressure....I wanted to fuck him so much. I pressed harder on my swollen clit and the pleasure exploded through my body. I lay back breathing hard, still with his face in my mind.

Later on that evening, I decided to give Lisa a knock. Just to see how things were. Just to see her brother again......

It was only seven o'clock. The summer sky was slowly fading to a pretty pink in the distance.  As I turned into her street I was hit with the heady scent of a dozen gardens in full bloom. The heat was dying but it was still warm enough for me to wear a skimpy lycra top and the shortest denim skirt I owned.. .  I noticed at Lisa's house all the windows were open, from the livingroom I could hear a TV on. Someone was in. I didn't know if it was him, but I kept hoping as I rang the bell.

Shane answered the door. For a moment I struggled to find my words. Lisa. I was here for Lisa. I couldn't say it. Shane wasn't wearing his suit now. He was wearing a pair of cotton boxer shorts, nothing else. His body was lean and muscular and he looked far more powerful than I had imagined.

"Lisa's out."He said. And he was smiling at me, looking at me with those sexy eyes, making it so much easier to talk to him.

"Then I'll just come back  tomorrow - "

He opened the door wider and stepped back.

"Come in."He offered, adding: "She'll be back later, you can wait - but you'll have to come upstairs, mum's asleep on the sofa..don't want to wake her.."

As I followed him into the house and up the stairs I was resisting the urge to burst out in a fit of giggles. This was a dream scenario! Mate's gorgeous brother, wearing next to nothing, invites me in and..it was just so perfect. But that was before I knew the real Shane. I didn't know at the time, but this was too perfect... He led me through to the third bedroom, it was rather small but big enough for his bed, which looked comfortable with big soft pillows and a thick duvet thrown over the top. The duvet had a green cover with tiny, tiny little white daisies on it. I didn't know at that moment that I'd be face down screaming into those daisies very shortly, but it's like I said : I didn't know him at all then.........

He had a single wardrobe against the far wall, beside it was a unit with a stereo and some cds. Bottles of body spray and aftershave stood on the window ledge shaded by a dusty old vase of silk flowers. In the corner there was a laundry basket and a couple of binliners filled with clothes that the wardrobe couldn't accommodate.

"Sorry."He said, "It's a bit of a mess..I've been away a long time.."

And he shut the door behind us. There was a mirror on the back of the door and as he closed the door I swore I saw him glance at me and look away again. It was a slight movement that made me feel uneasy but when he turned to face me he was smiling and I smiled back at him.

I sat down on his bed and he sat beside me.

"Well Chloe, "He said, "I'm sorry I can't offer you a chair..I've got to get this room sorted out, it's such a mess..."He paused, looking closer at me like I was hiding something.

 "Listen, if my sister's said anything about me, don't listen, okay..I was a different person a year ago.."

"She hasn't.."I lied to make him feel better. But he was too smart for me.

"Yes she has I can tell. I promise you I'm a lot different now..did she tell you I was in an accident?"

I nodded. And as he spoke, he suddenly seemed very vulnerable.

"I was in a car crash. I almost died.." I saw a flicker of fear in his eyes. "I still have nightmares about it."

"I'm sorry."I said, and I reached out and put my hand over his and squeezed it gently.

"I like you."He said, "You're really kind." And he leaned forward and gently kissed my cheek. His arm was around me now and he was holding me close. Firm and close. I hesitated. There was something about the way he was looking at me, more like his gaze was turning into a stare and it was taking the magic out of the moment. In fact, it was giving me the creeps to say the least. I moved back a little. I knew before his grip tightened that I'd feel resistance.

"Shane.."

He was staring right through me. All his warmth had vanished like it had been sucked out by a vaccuum. There was nothing of the person who had drawn me in, just a blank void.

"I said,"He repeated, "I like you Chloe.."

It felt unreal. I had gone from feeling flirty and lovestruck to absolute fear in a matter of seconds. Everything Lisa had said had been true. "Let go of me...Let go!"

The more I struggled, the tighter his grip became. He forced me down onto the bed and tore my skirt off. I tried to kick out at him but he was pinning me down.

"Let me go Shane..I'll fucking scream if you don't!"

He did it so fast I was too stunned to respond at first. He slapped my face hard, then slapped it again.

"You wake my mum,"He said quietly, "and I'll hit you so hard you won't know where you are..so shut up and be good. "

My face was stinging and I was hurting from the strength of his grip. I laid back and decided that if he was going to rape me I'd rather get through this without injury. It was pointless resisting him and he certainly wouldn't be killing me without a fight and that would wake his mother, so I decided to stop fighting. I was a few years older than him but I had never been in a situation like this and all I could think of was how to survive it. I was trying to rationalise it, I mean, I did find him attractive - not that it helped right now.

He was looking down at me.

"Show me your tits."

I just looked back at him, too afraid to speak in case he disciplined me again. He gave a sigh of frustration, muttered "Oh, for fuck's sake.." and lifted my top up, exposing my bare breasts.

"You've got lovely tits."He said, then sucked hard on each nipple. He bit me and I whimpered.

"Sorry."He said, and kissed my breast.

At that moment I thought I might see a way out.

"Please don't do it like this,"I said gently, "I don't want you to hurt me.."

And I ran my fingers through his hair. As I did so I saw a huge scar that ran around the side of his head, a surgical scar, a legacy from the accident. And he slapped my hand away hard.

"Don't touch me."He said, and it sounded more like a command.

He spread my legs wide and ripped my underwear off - cotton knickers that tore loudly, cutting into my hip as he dragged them off my body. As I lay there he looked at my cunt, pressed his face hard against my pubic mound, breathing in my scent. Then he spread me open as wide as my skin would allow and licked it hard, over and over. I didn't know my labia could stretch that wide, I felt as if the skin would split, but as he licked me my juices started to flow. I didn't want them to, but they did. He was licking and sucking on my stretched open flesh like a hungry animal.

"I knew you would taste good."He murmured, and shoved two fingers into my vagina. It made me gasp, I wasn't expecting it and he did it hard, spreading his fingers apart as he stretched the hole, it was painful and I found myself wishing he would lick me again just to take the edge off the pain.Instead, he took his shorts off. His erection was solid and he looked like he was about to come, as if the swollen head of his big cock was about to burst with spunk. But he wasn't going to end his fun just yet. He rolled me over so I was face down. I felt him spreading the cheeks of my arse wide open. He pushed something soft in there, out and in again. Then I felt his breath and realised he was licking my anus. It didn't hurt. But the next thing he did made me scream. He shoved two fingers in my arse, the same way he had done to my vagina. I'd never been touched there before and the burning, tearing pain made me cry out.

That was when he shoved my face hard into the pillow.

"Shut the fuck up."Was all he said, in a calm and controlled way.

And I was fighting for air with my face pushed into a green sea peppered with daisies while he fingered my arse and I felt like it was tearing. I grabbed a mouthful of air and cried out into the pillow - he pushed my face down hard again, and I realised I had to be quiet if I wanted to have enough air.He pulled me up on all fours, shoved my face back down and forced his cock into my vagina. I was in too much pain from what he had done to my arse to even notice if it was at all pleasurable. He stabbed it in and out, then drew his cock out. He was slightly breathless as I heard him speak again.

"You love it you lying little slut..you're soaking wet.."

And he pushed his cock into my arse. I screamed as the burning pain tore into me and the scream was lost as I was smothered by the pillow. Every stroke in and out of my body cut through me like fire and by the time he shoved it in harder and spurted hot cum up my back passage I was dizzy and the pillow that had stifled me was soaked with my tears.I pulled myself upright. Shane wiped his cock with my torn knickers and threw them back at me. He was calming down now, getting his breath back. His face was slightly flushed. The hardness had gone from his eyes. He handed me my skirt.

"You liked it really I know you did. I know you did.." He was speaking softly, he reached out and stroked my hair, touched my cheek. I was still hurting, my hands were shaking as I put my skirt back on.

"I just want to go."

As I reached the door, he put his arm out and barred my way. But his voice was still soft.

"You didn't come here to see my sister. You came for me, I know you did..and I do like you, Chloe..you're special..."That vulnerable look was back in his eyes, as he said: "But I like it a certain way..I've been worse since the accident..it's the way I need it..I have to..I can't help it.."

And he drew me into his arms and held me. I was still trying to make sense of it all. He had raped me, yet when his tongue was between my legs I had enjoyed it and looking at him now I found it hard to believe he was the same man who had just done those things to me. He pressed his face against my hair and whispered in my ear : "In a little while I'm going to come and see you..not yet, but soon. In a couple of week's time.." His hand crept up my skirt and he tangled his fingers in my pubic hair.

"..and you're going to be waiting for me with all this - " He pulled on the hair, "shaved right off..I want it nice and smooth or I'll shave it for you and you don't want me to do that because I can be a bit clumsy with a razor...understand?"

I nodded. He let go of my pubic hair, but he still held on to me.

"And don't worry about that tight little arse of your's..I'll sort that out for you properly next time...now go.." he opened the door and I walked straight out and down the stairs. As we reached the hallway, Ellen called out:

"You there, son?"

"Just a minute.."Shane answered, "I'm making a cup of tea..do you want one?"

And he smiled at me as he opened the door.

"I'll see you soon.."

 I'll see you in hell I thought, and hurried down the path and away from the house. When I got home I ran a bath and sat in the cool water until the stinging subsided. All the while I was trying to analyse how I felt. I did feel violated, but not in a terrible way..as I started to bathe myself I recalled his tongue down there, licking everything..it had been nice. And what he said about shaving..I had never done that before. I looked down at the dark curls between my legs and felt a thrill as I wondered how it would feel to be smooth and bare...then I felt my anus. It was bruised and swollen tight shut, painful to the touch. I stayed in the water till the pain ebbed away and decided to keep out of the pub and away from Lisa's brother.

 

PART TWO

 

As the days passed I decided to push the events of that evening to the back of my mind and try and forget. But I couldn't. Two weeks passed. I didn't hear from Shane and he didn't turn up like he said he would. In a way I was relieved. Then I started to get curious. I kept thinking about him, about what happened. Eventually I masturbated and when I came I thought about my legs wide open, my shaved cunt stretched wide as he licked and sucked me until I was red and swollen. I still wanted him. I knew it. I couldn't explain it, but I couldn't deny it, either. And so I picked up the phone and called his house.

Lisa answered it.

"Is your brother there?" I hadn't meant to sound so urgent. But Lisa didn't pick up on it.

"No, Shane's in hospital..you came round to see him a couple of weeks ago didn't you..is that why you've kept away? I don't mind if you want to see him, just remember he's a bit of an arsehole.."

Lisa's attitude had changed towards him all of a sudden and it alarmed me.

"Why is he in hospital? Is he okay?"

She gave a heavy sigh.

"Yeah, he's going to be alright now..he started getting these really bad headaches and he had a fit...the hospital said he had a complication from his head injury, he had to have another operation but he's not in danger, he's okay..well, he will be. I'm going up to see him this afternoon, you can come with me if you want to.."

I was surprised at the power of her words. I was blinking back tears and trying not to let on how upset I was. It was one thing getting aroused over what had been and gone, but this was here and real and I didn't want him to suffer.

"I'll come with you."I told her.

    I knew I shouldn't encourage the way he behaved, but I wanted him to feel better. So I wore the denim mini skirt I'd worn the day he forced himself on me. I still hadn't repaired a small tear in the waist where he had ripped it off me. I hoped it would bring back fond memories for him. It was strange, but those memories were starting to become fond to me now. Shane dominating me, forcing me to do things that hurt but in an exquisitely nice way. When we got to the hospital I felt upset again on seeing him, he was lying in a bed by the window with a drip in his arm and half his head was shaved, the old scar had been opened up again and was held together with painful looking stitches. His eyes were closed and he was in a light sleep. Lisa gave his hand a squeeze.

"Shane.."

He opened his eyes and looked at her, wincing in pain as he turned his head a little.

"Alright, sis.."

"Chloe's here to see you."

I noticed he woke up more when she said that. He blinked and looked at me.

"Hello gorgeous..it's good to see you.."

He sounded so weak but the way he spoke to me made me glow. I instinctively reached forward and gave him a gentle hug. As I let go of him I saw his eyes had misted up a little.

"I looked better last time you saw me.."

"It's okay..I'm just glad you're alright.."

And Lisa got up and laughed.

"I think theres something going on here I'm going to go outside for a while, okay...leave you two lovebirds alone.." And she turned her nose up. "How can anyone fancy my brother.."She joked, and left us alone together.

Shane took hold of my hand. His grip was still firm. Despite his weakened state he was still the same man who had made me do those things..I could see the spark in his eyes.

"When I get out of here, "He promised me, "I'm going to do things to you that you won't believe..I mean that...you understand me, don't you?"

I knew I was in love with him and I let it happen, I let the feeling flow through me and this time I didn't fight it.

"I want you to be my master."I said to him, "I want you to make me do things..and I want it to hurt..."

He squeezed my hand and I saw real warmth in his eyes at last.

"Oh you don't know what that means to me..I knew you was special..come here.."

I leaned forward and he kissed me.

"Sit on the bed."He told me. I obeyed him and he slid his hand up between my legs, ran his finger down the length of my slit.

"You're going to shave it for me...shave it properly  and I'm going to really open your holes up wide...and I'll make you come..you'll come screaming.."

At which point Lisa reappeared and stared at us.

"Stop fingering my mate!" She exclaimed.

Shane drew his hand out from my skirt and went a little bit red.

"I was stroking her thigh.."

All the way home I had to put up with Lisa's comments, although they were said in good humour...How could you fancy my brother..how could you fuck him..he's weird.. I simply replied, "Because I like him."

Shane came out of hospital a week later but stayed at home and rested on doctor's orders. He phoned me every day but told me, don't come round just yet, cos if I see you, I'll have to fuck you and I need to rest for now.. the next three weeks were an agony of frustration. Then he suddenly called me.

"It's Shane."Was all he said, "I'm coming to see you tonight..make sure you're ready.." And he hung up. I went straight upstairs to the bathroom and ran a bath, then I soaked in it for a while and finally gathered up the courage to shave between my legs. I tried running the razor through my soapy pubic hair but the razor became blocked. I got out of the bath and took a pair of nail scissors from the bathroom cabinet and sat on the edge of the bath with my legs apart and carefully cut off my pubic hair. By the time I had finished doing that I was swollen up and it took a while to shave everything because the razor kept slipping and I didn't want to cut myself. When I had finished I changed into a sheer white corset and black stilettos. I left the underwear off. All I had to do was look between my legs and I got a tingle of excitement seeing it all bare with the middle pink and swollen. It felt so fresh and sensitive and it looked so beautiful.

When he knocked on the door I answered it in just the corset and the shoes. Shane looked well again, he had shaved his head and the short crop just covered his recent scars. It suited him. He was wearing jeans and a black t shirt and he was carrying a small holdall. He looked me up and down and stepped inside and closed the door. He drew me into his arms and whispered, "I'm not always the big bad wolf..you look beautiful..now go upstairs.."

I went upstairs to the bedroom and laid on the bed with my legs open. He sat down with the bag beside him and spread me wide, licked me hard and I thrust up against his face. He stopped licking me.

"No.no.."He said softly, "You're not allowed to come yet.." And he rested his hand on my hairless mound.

"I love you, Chloe."He said, "Do you feel the same way? I'm asking because I think we could be happy together and I'd like us to be together..but there's some things I need to do to you first..and once they're done I can't undo them.."

I didn't care what they were.

"Of course I love you."I said, and that was all he needed. He lay on the bed with me and drew me into a tight embrace.

"You won't be sorry.."He whispered, toying with a lock of my shoulder length hair. That look was back in his eyes, staring like he was staring at me but seeing something else.

"I need you to obey me."He told me, "I need you to do everything I ask..some of it might upset you. Some of it might hurt..but I'll always make it alright...understand?"

I nodded. He glanced at the four posts on my bed. I'm going to tie you up now, okay?"

I nodded again, feeling completely at his mercy as he got black silk ribbon out of his bag and tied my hands, then spread my legs wider and tied my ankles. I had never felt so open or so helpless. He looked at me, then as an afterthought took a scarf from my wardrobe and gagged me with it.

"You might scream."He told me.

I could only lay there and watch as he took a tube of lubricant from the bag. He covered his hand with it. As he did so that look was back in his eyes. He sat down between my open legs and pushed two fingers in slowly, then out again.

"Does it hurt?"

I shook my head.

His gaze was concentrated on my cunt.

"It will in a minute.."He promised me.

He pushed his fingers in again, and out, and back in, each time I felt like I was stretching and filling up like the entrance to my vagina would tear. I felt a pressure and a sharp pain and I moaned into the gag. I was sure my vagina was tearing.

"Look.."He said, "Look how much you can take.."

I lifted my head and stared, understanding now why I felt so wide open. He had forced his fist into me, he was twisting it round and round and my vagina was stretched wider than I thought it could ever go.

I tried to cry out, if he had touched my clit at that moment I would have come, but instead he slowly drew his hand out of my body. He watched as my vagina began to close up - not as tightly as before - and then he stroked my leg.

"Im going to untie you but you mustn't touch yourself." He said that sharply. I was aching to come but I knew he would punish me if I disobeyed him. He united my wrists and ankles and took my gag off.  As I sat up he sat beside me, looked into my eyes.

"Are you glad I did that to you?"

"Yes.." I knew now that I could not have it any other way; I wanted to please him, I wanted him to use me. My vagina was aching but I wanted more.

"I'm going to do the same to your arse."He told me, "I'm really going to open it up. Then you can take my cock whenever I want you to..but once Ive done this you won't be the same..it's going to hurt a lot and you'll be stretched and it won't close up so tight any more.."

I hesitated. I didn't like the idea that he could be doing something to hurt me like that.

"Will it damage me?"

"No,"He said, "It will change you, not damage you but it will hurt a lot."

I wanted to please him. I wanted to take his cock whenever he ordered me to. I wanted him to do it to me.

"Then do it.."I said, "Please.." And I found I was aching for it. I actually wanted this, I wanted it badly. But he had ideas of his own. Ideas I hadn't even imagined. He still had the power to shock me.

"Not yet."He said, "I will do it, but I need to do something else to you first.."

A shiver of excitement ran through my body like electricity but at the same time I felt that sense of dread. He was set on doing whatever it was, I could tell by the look in his eyes.

"You want to do as I say."He told me, "don't you?"

I nodded.

"You're going to do this for me...if you want me to be your master you have to do as I say..you have to look how I want you to look... I'm going to do something to you and I'm doing it because I want you to and because it will prove you love me and you really do serve me..if you try and resist I'll force you I'll hold you down and do it anyway.."

Whatever he was planning, I had no say. He was looking at me like that first time in his bedroom.

And then he told me what it was. And I could only stare at him speechless.

Shane looked into my eyes and ran his hand over my long hair.

"I want you to mirror me."He said, "I want us to look the same..I'm going to cut off your hair. All of it. I'll let you grow it back but I really want to do this..I'm going to shave your head as well."

I was too stunned to speak. He was taking a battery shaver out of his bag. He switched it on and swept back my hair, then began to run it up my head. Handfuls of hair began to fall in my lap. I blinked back tears as the shaver buzzed through my hair but I made no effort to stop him. A part of me was actually enjoying this total domination, and as he slowly shaved me it dawned on me that I was starting to feel aroused, cutting my hair off didn't hurt and although I knew it would affect my appearance, it would grow back. I had, whilst shaving between my legs, for a fleeting moment wondered how I would feel if I'd shaved off every hair on my body, and it had given me a brief bizarre thrill. Now I was finding out for myself and it didn't scare me.  He switched the razor off.  I stared at the hair all over the bedroom carpet - my hair..my beautiful hair was gone....I stared down at it dumbly for a moment, it was still sinking in. My head felt cold and bare. I reached up and touched it.  Shane took my hand and led me into the bathroom. I sat on the edge of the bath while he rubbed in the shaving foam. I felt no resistance now, all that remained to be taken was a tiny bit of stubble, and I wasn't going to make a fuss over that. I was actually wanting to see this through now. He took his time with the razor, carefully, gently scraping every inch of my scalp. Then he dried me and stood me in front of the mirror. I stared at the reflection, me, with no hair, just a smooth, bald head. I had felt like bursting into tears as he cut it off, but now it was gone it seemed pointless. In fact I was fascinated with my new appearance. I stroked my head. It felt warm and smooth. I missed my hair but I could accept it..but all the same

it  was still a shock to see myself with no hair. I found it strangely arousing at the same time. Shane was staring at me like I was his work of art.

"I'm going to fucking marry you."He stated.

Looking at myself in the mirror I knew there was no going back, I didn't want to go back.

"Then finish your work master.."I begged him.

He pushed me down on my knees and put his cock in my mouth.

"Suck it ..."He commanded.

As I sucked him he was looking down at me, at what he had done to me and he could see I was loving it. He shoved it in harder and gave a gasp as he cum fast down my throat. Then he was dragging me back to my feet, taking me into the bedroom again. My gaze briefly wandered to the long brown hair on my floor but then I didn't care; this was a new life now and I wanted all he could give me.

"Get on all fours and keep your mouth on that pillow."He ordered.

I obeyed him, burying my face in the pillow and holding onto it tightly.

There was a brief pause as he put more lubricant on his hand - a lot of lubricant. Then he slid two fingers into my anus. He buried them deep , twisting his fingers around, drawing them out and then plunging in three, then four, then pain started to ache in a dull and constant sensation as I felt the hole being forced wider. He did it slowly, very slowly, then I felt a vague hot tearing sensation. I moaned into the pillow, the pain flowed back and I cried out again. I felt as if my arse was full and the hole was being ripped, but between my legs my clit felt so engorged it almost seemed too heavy, hanging down as my juices mingled with the lubricant and made my thighs soaking wet. He was twisting his fist around and around, stretching me so wide. I moaned loudly and he paused, keeping his hand there and as he kept it there I felt as if the whole of my back passage just broke open. I gave a gasp.

"I'm properly in you now."He told me, "Your rectum's just given in to me..given in to my fist.."

And he slowly drew his hand out, inch by inch. He held my arse open and watched as the gaping hole dilated. Then he put his cock inside. I was so stretched it slipped out, he pushed it back in and buried it deeper, fucking me brutally. Every time he hit me deep inside I felt closer to orgasm.

"You're mine now.."He gasped as he fucked me, "You're mine.."

And I reached between my legs and my shaking hand fumbled in my swollen, slippery cunt. I found my clitoris hugely engorged and throbbing, as he pounded into me I rubbed it so gently and screamed with sweet release as I came with my master's cock in my arse.

 And that was the way it stayed. Shane moved in and we began a life together. A life where he ruled me and I loved every moment of it. Three weeks after we got together we went round to his mum's house to see Lisa. As we sat together on the sofa, she stared at us, I was'nt sure if she was staring at my close cropped hair that was just starting to grow back or if she was just surprised to see her brother so happy.

"What have you two been up to?" She remarked.

Shane wrapped his arm around my shoulder and said : "The usual, nothing much..."

And she looked again at us, wondering about things that she could never guess at and never know. And then I think maybe it crossed her mind that perhaps she decided she didn't want to know.

She got up.

"Right, then, "She said, "I think I'll make some tea.."

And as she left the room, Shane whispered in my ear that I was in trouble tonight and I felt a thrill run through my body. I was lucky to have a master who enjoyed using me the way he did. It was my birthday soon and he had promised me something special, I was going to have my clitoris pierced. And my inner and outer labia. And he was going to watch. He said it would be healed up in six weeks time, just right for our wedding. I welcome the life he gave me, every day is lit with such passion that I can never regret my decision - it would be too late to regret it now anyway ; he cut off my hair and stretched both my holes so wide they will never be the same again but at least I can accommodate him when ever he pleases. And sometimes, when he wants to reward me, he indulges my fetish and tells me all about his accident, even though the memory is painful, and then I kiss him all better with my tongue up his arse and he thanks me for it. I shall love him forever. I'm glad I fell for my rapist!

 

The End