To be Or not to be....a male crack whore for a day.....(or the rest of my lifetime)

WELCOME FELLOW BDSM ENTHUSIASTS TO MY VERY OWN VERSION OF REALITY TV, on the world wide web. My name is Chris and I am a fairly well off 41 yo married male living what (until now) appears to everyone (execpt for a select few individuals) a seemingly very normal yet non discript life. Most everyone who knows (of) me would descripe me as someone who "has it all"..the sexy wife,plenty of money, a great job, beautiful house and 3 great kids. While I cant deny having all of these things, they by them selves appearently are not enough to offset my ever growing and now all consuming curiosity, obsession, fasination and possible adiction to virtually anything related to my undeniable and ready accepted submissive characteristics and virtually any aspect of sexual humiliation. Having had over 30 years to think about it, My definition of sexual humiliation is broad based and includes vertually ANYTHING , any act or event, where someone becomes sexually arroused by wittnessing, hearing about, reading or simply even fantasizing about the intentional humiliation of another person, deserving or not. For years all I knew for sure was that for some reason, I was very, very turned on by thinking and fantasizing about events that I either wittnessed, heard about or read about.. It wasnt until I tried cocain that I even considered the possibility of "trying out" some of my turn ons if the conditions were just right. It wasnt untill I was exposed to crack that I believe I discovered a possible and I belive a probable truth to the actual reason why I was arroused by thoughts of being humiliated. As a result, I am genuinely committed to discovering if it is true that I am destined to be a crack whore.

This is the real time and 100% true account of my now all consuming need and desire to discover if I, an otherwise normal married man living a rather ordinary life, am destined to become a male crack whore. My definition of a crack whore is someone that is so addicted to the high they get by smoking crack, that they can be corrupted enough into doing things (specifically of a sexual nature) that they otherwise would never even consider doing. In mY case, CRACK not only makes ME more' willing to do things that I would not ordinarily do, but it makes me super horny as well. simply put, I sincerely hope and strongly believe this combonation makes it possible for me to explore my every sexual fantasy, and more importantly, my unusal sexual needs. It is my intention to discover, as I believe, that  The need has become so overwhelming, that I have knowingly and willingly comitted myself to discovering the truth .....IF ONLY the right opportunity presented itself. Although I have always had a great desire, I did not have the sheer guts, a workable plan or the ultimate level of unquestioned commitment to 'just do it'. It wasnt until I experienced first hand the powerful sexual effects and clarity of thought brought on by smoking crack that I (as I now believe I was destined too) discovered not only the probable truth about myself (my fated destiny, purpose in life if you will), but a real life oportunity to satisfy my lifes goal and all consuming need to answer the all important question..."Am I destined to be a male crack whore?" AND at the same time the tantilizing opportunity to live out my wildest sexual fantasies. Ask yourselves if you could pass this up. I have decided that I cant, and wont. This is why I am writing this story and seeking the opinions, advice and maybe(if need be) the active participation of those "special' individuals who enjoy and understand my situation. For reasons that you are about to read about, and more importantly the unknown reasons that I desperatly want/need to discover, I even at a young age (and usually unexpectedly) could and often would become sexually arroused (sometimes out of contol horney) when exposed to vertually any type of sexual scenario.I eventually realized that the 'high' or if you will, the intensity of my sexual fasination was directly related to the amount of humiliation involved. You know what I mean....Things that would be considered bizarre or perverted to most other people.,When I was about 8 years old I discovered the pleasure of masterbation...long before I have an interest in girls.My need and reason for playing with myself was almost exclusively triggerd by my wittnessing, hearing or reading about, or even making something up in my own mind, scenarios involving ones intention to somehow (preferably sexually) humiliate or take revenge on another. This is probably because it was the only type of sexual encounters I came into contact with, not being popular and having no self esteem.I quickly perfected the technique of how to physically best satisfy my need to give myself a sexuall orgasim. I got so good, that I must have become addicted to the high I experienced by climaxing. It wasnt until I started junior high school that I discovered that I would become obviously sexually excited simply being exposed to someone elses comments, actions or other sexually deviant intentions.What I have come to understand and accept over the years is that I am decidedly submissive in nature and have seemingly developed a now all consuming adiction, fasination and need for all things associated with domination and sexual humiliation.  As the years went by, the scope and magnitude of my (until recently totally seceret) sexual fantasies has grown to include even what I would consider to be 'etreme'. So to grew my curiousity, fasination and eventually even my willingnes/desire to actually 'experiment' , just a little....with at least some of my many desires. The problem was despite my all consuming curiousity, unquestionable desire, apprearent reckless willingness and (according to my recently hired sex counsler) my deep rooted need to experience first hand, for myself, the many sensations associated with sexual humiliation, I was to embarrassed to even talk about it and had no clue how to (or if I should) attempt to divulge my well kept secret. .It wasnt until I was turned on to cocain that I began to seriously consider and contiplate ways to indulge my sexual cravings. When I was on it, I was not worried about the consequenses of revieling my seceret, as much as I wanted to make it happen. It wasnt until my  recent introduction to crack cocain that I learned the reasons why I was effected in the way I was. I discovered that I might suffer from a rear sexual disorder that enables me to 'fee'l when someone else is experiencing a state of sexual arrousal and immeadiately and uncontrollably become wildly turned on myself by picturing myself as the object of that persons hightened sexual state.  I often tried to figure out why I had these extreme fantasies, but the fact that I did didnt bother me....I was addicted to the turn on way to much to worry about what caused it. After all, it was my little secret and I enjoyed thinking about it ........

That was then....BEFORE  I experimented with the ultimate sex drug, Crack Cocain. I quickly found myself willingly taking unprecidented 'risks' in multable attempts to satisfy my overwhelming desire and quite possibly a sub primal need to explore and experience various forms of sexual domination and humiliation.

This has resulted in what has become an overwhelming desire and need to talk about my feelings...with someone who could understand....who has been there. I eventually met up with a common crack whore in NYC who, in return for my slowly dished out stash of crack, provided me with the advise and course of action I have been looking for. She has suggested that some people need to be sexually humiliated..its in thier genes. She told me that they can only achieve sexual fulfillment and satisfaction by fantasizing about, and in severe cases like mine, actually experiencing it firsthand. She explained that I, rightfully so (based on what I have openly and honestly told her) that in her opinion, deserve to be sexually humiliated at the hands of those who not only would enjoy doing so, but have the expertise and willingness to test my limits to the extremes. She expertly laid out a 10 part plan for me to embark upon, designed by her to answer all my questions and determine what my place in life was meant...destined... to be. The following chapters will detail this plan, and will invited the opinions, advice and participation of those of YOU inclined to do so. Here is a brief discription of the 10 chapters to follow, with hints about the  opportunities for you to contribute to the outcome. All made possible by the miracle drug CRACK, you are invited Follow along, make a difference and have some fun!!!

CHAPTER 1: How I intend to tell my wife about my desire to be sexually dominated, humiliated and verbally degraded. This can be very risky if not done very carefully. I will explain what I have tried so far, and my current plans to take it to the next level. Your advice and perhaps participation is highly encouraged. Should I do it?? Any great ideas on how to do so? Thats where you come in.

Chapter 2:  How I intened to get my wife to agree to cuckhold me and have sex with another guy. One of my biggest turn ons, and fantasies. I am commited to making this happen. Once again, I will provide details on what I have attempted so far, and welcome your ideas, participation requests, and opinions.

Chapter 3: How I intend to allow myself to be 'picked up" by a complete male stanger to  experience for the first time the hulmiliation of being used by a male. Although I am not gay, I have a great need to do this and see where it takes me. I know it would be pretty humiliating (espeacially the next day) for me, and that is enough incentive for me to try it. I have activly scoped out some ideas and "pick up "places to make it happen, and seek your advise on how to proceed.

Capter 4: How I intend to 'seduce' a male Crack dealer into adding me to his list of "sex for crack' customers.  A logical step in my self discovery, this will allow me to see if my addiction to crack and need for humiliation are truley connected and for real. Being used for sex just to get my hands on some crack would make me a 'crack whore', wouldnt it? Opinions welcome.

Chaptert 5: How I intend to hook up with a female, with knowlegde of my need for humliation, who would be willing to turn me into her sex slave.  A mile stone for me, this will be my first attempt at exploring the most extreme forms of what I would consider humiliating. This would include toilet training, sissyifcation, complete domination and even things like black male and prostitution.. A female with the right body, attitude and desire would be very successful doing this.

Chapter 6: How I intend to find a male/female couple who would be interested in seeing if 'she' can seduce me into servicing the BOTH of them.   A favorite fantasy of mine, this would be ideal for males who are turned on by watching thier squeeze cocktease, sexually arrouse and otherwise seduce other guys into a state of uncontrollable horny(ness). It is also a opportunity for you females that feel like you are being taken for granted to show your guy that you STILL have what it takes to atrract and dominate other males (if you wanted to)! just for the oportunity (if not improbabilty) of getting into your pants! Set your man straight by using me as an example. A must for guys that are into watching their female partner making another male (victim) humiliate themselves inorder to impress her.

Chapter 7: Same as Chapter 6, but with more stucture and monitary rewards for successfully making me do certain 'things"  Details to follow....

Chapter 8: How I intend to see if being used by a group of people for sex in my future.

Chapter 9: How I can place myself in the unfortunate position of being forced by a female to man a glory hole while being chained to a toilet in a local bar.

Chapter 10: How I intend to hook up with a shemale and possibly become one myself. Is that what I am fated to become. Help me discover the answer.

I am seeking the advice, oppinions and ultimately the full participation of someone who would enjoy doing so. Despite the potential risks and life changing consequences of what I intend to do, I have come to the conclusion that it is something I simply HAVE to do at least once in my lifetime. My fate, if you will...

Those of you who are interested, or simply curious, are encouraged to follow and even participate in the future chapters I will be posting. the detials and results of  the 10 specific plans I have . The real story you are about to read is in fact itself just one of the carefully designed plans I intend to put into action. It is an offer....and potential opportunity for anyone willing to take the time to think of and send me thier sincere, creative ideas, oppinions and suggestions as to: Whether or not I should even attempt to put into action the specially designed plan(s you are about to read about) at all and if so the best way (in your opinion) to go about it. My offer is to anyone and everyone willing to forget reality TV and actually help write the script of whats to come. Thats where your suggestions and ideas come in---please send them to me and feel free to ask me as many questions as you want! I have posted my photos online at http://photos.yahoo.com/wannadoittoya hoping that anyone who gets turned on by them might be enticed enough to consider helping me discover my true place in life.\

CHAPTERS 1-10 TO FOLLOW AS MY SUPPLY OF CRACK COCAIN ALLOWS!