Numerology

Chapter 14: In The White Room

I am in a white room. It is like the one in my dreams, in my nightmares. There are no wizards in white here, just people; people in white. I think they know about the numbers but I don't see numbers any more. I think they know about the box – I have seen some of them with the box. But no one seems to want to use it any more. Perhaps they are frightened of what happened to Dr Wallis and Dr Stuart? Or perhaps the box is broken? Or perhaps the numbers will not come for them even if they have the box?

I was in the room with Dr Wallis and Dr Stuart for a long time. I saw no numbers to tell me to go. I watched them bleed and then they stopped bleeding and then the blood turned brown. I was still holding the gun when the policemen came. I didn't know to put it down. I think the policemen were quite frightened because they shouted so. They took the gun away from me. Then they took me away. And Crystal and Alice and Anna and Suzanne.

We each have a white room here. It's not as comfortable as our rooms at the house but it doesn't matter. I just hope that I can get to see the numbers again.

There is another doctor here, Doctor James. He tells me that I have nothing to worry about. I don't believe him. How can I be happy without the numbers? He has given me a special jacket with arms that lace behind my back. The jacket is very stiff. With buckles and straps. They remind me of the straps that Dr Stuart used. Why do I remember that?

Dr James says he is worried that I might hurt myself because I cannot see the numbers. That is why I have the jacket. And Crystal and Alice and Anna and Suzanne.

He tells me it wasn't my fault. About Dr Stuart and Dr Wallis. I know that of course. I only did what the numbers asked me.

He says he will help me to sleep. A nurse gives me an injection. It does help me to sleep. Doesn't he know he need only have asked the numbers to be an 8.

Chapter 15: Number 9 Dream

I can see the numbers again. Terrible things have happened but I can see the numbers again.

I was asleep. Well, not asleep like when I see an 8, but resting, resting after an injection. There were loud noises, like the sounds of the gun when I saw the number 90, the big gold 90. Men came into my room. They were wearing masks. They were carrying guns.

They put me on a trolley and wheeled me from my room. There was smoke in the corridor. There was blood in the corridor. I saw Dr James; he was lying in the corridor; he wasn't moving. I saw the nurse; she was lying in the corridor; she wasn't moving either. The doors at the end of the corridor were broken. The masked men pushed me through the doors to an ambulance. The driver was lying on the ground. There was a lot of blood. He wasn't moving. Crystal and Alice and Anna and Suzanne were there as well. They seemed safe but they were scared, just as I was. I saw Dr Stuart's computers and Dr Wallis' files. And the box.

The ambulance took us a long way. We went again in a plane but not a big plane. We are in a new house but it is not near mountains. The countryside is very dry and hot. But I do not mind because I see the numbers again. I see the numbers and I am happy.

I think that Anna and Crystal and Alice and Suzanne can see the numbers because they look happy too.

I have a new friend. He tells me he is Mr English. He knows how to make the numbers come and so he must be my friend. He has friends to help him. They are Mr French, Mr Dutch and Miss Scott. Mr English has made copies of the box so that all his friends can help us with the numbers.

Mr English says I must not worry about Dr Waring and Dr Wallis. He says Dr Wallis was helping Dr Waring so she could bring us here. Why would I worry about Dr Stuart and Dr Wallis? I did what the numbers told me, it must have been right.

We do not have to wear our jackets any more. I think that Mr English knows that we are happy now and will not hurt ourselves. We do not have any clothes but it is warm here so I do not mind. Mr English seems to like watching my body just as Dr Waring did. I do not mind, I have the numbers again and I am happy, I have not been Mr English's doll yet, I wonder if I shall be.

I was with Mr English today when something interesting happened. Mr Dutch and Miss Scott came into the room. They brought a woman with them. She didn't seem to want to be there. Her arms were strapped and she had a cloth in her mouth, She struggled when Mr Dutch sat her in a chair. Her clothes were torn. Mr Dutch seemed to like that.

Mr English said that she would help them with some programming. The woman shook her head. Mr English asked her if she would like to be like me. She shook her head again. She cannot know how good it feels to see the numbers. Mr English suggested that she think again, he asks if she would like to spend some more time with Mr Dutch. She shook her head again. It seems so hard for Mr English to get her to do what he wants. What a pity Mr English does not have a box for the woman, what a pity she does not have a connector.

Later on I was lying on my bed and she came to me with Mr Dutch. She has an identity badge clipped to the pocket of her torn blouse. It says “Heather Blanik, Research Assistant, Department of Computer Science, University of Colorado at Boulder ”. It has some numbers and a bar code on it. It has a photograph of her. It must have been taken before she came here. It doesn't show her black eye or the bruise on her cheek. It doesn't show her torn blouse or the burn marks on her right breast. She looks happier in the photograph. Do you suppose she could see the numbers then? Mr Dutch tells her that she will help me with my numbers. She nods but she doesn't look happy. I am sure she would be happy if she knew how good it is to see the numbers.

Heather is very kind to us. She works so hard to help us with our numbers. Mr Dutch gives her a lot of encouragement. He watches her all the time when she is working with us. She helps me and she helps Anna and Crystal and Alice and Suzanne. Mr Dutch has found her some other clothes to wear. She doesn't have her torn blouse and skirt any more. She wears some metal bracelets too, they are joined by a short chain. They look to me as though they make it harder for her to do her work but Mr Dutch likes her to wear the bracelets.

I saw Heather later this morning. She was with Mr English when the numbers asked me to fetch him a drink. She was kneeling down in front of him. Her blouse is torn again. And her skirt. She has red marks on her legs, as if she has been struck with a cane or a stick. The chain between her bracelets runs behind her back now, she cannot really use her hands. She has her mouth around Mr English's… Mr English's what? She has her mouth around the thing that Dr Stuart used to push into me when I was Dr Stuart's doll. Mr English seems to enjoy having her mouth there. Mr English is smiling and holding her head against him. She doesn't seem to be enjoying it, I can hear her moaning. Mr English is talking to Heather. “Now do you get the idea?” he says. “Do you think you can get your little computer to tell these robo-chicks to do this? Hmm?”

Heather seems to think she can. I think she says yes but it is hard to tell. She seems to choke as Mr English thrusts against her mouth. He fills her mouth until she is choking. He seems to be enjoying it but I do not think Heather is. I wonder what a robo-chick is?

Mr English pushes her away. She is sobbing now. He takes his drink and picks up the box. I see a yellow 2, a nice bright yellow 2. I go back to my room, happy to have seen the number.

Chapter 16: We Can Remember It For You Wholesale

I see a 1, a bright, green one. I must find the controller. Miss Scott has the box. She straps me to a chair. I wonder why. I see Heather come into the room with her small computer. I think that she will give me some more numbers.

Heather has been crying. There are more red marks on her legs. She is still wearing her bracelets. She plugs a lead from her computer into the socket at the back of my neck. It feels strange. I think that this has happened before. It's very like what happens in my dreams, but I am asleep when it happens in my dreams. I am not sure that she should be doing this while I am awake but I am sure that Miss Scott knows what Heather should be doing.

Heather presses some keys on her computer. Suddenly my head is filled with numbers, whirling, spinning, terrifying numbers, bright and shining, one after another. I shake my head. I cry out. Miss Scott tries to hold me down. I am struggling in the chair as I feel my head filling with numbers. So many, all at once, so bright. They scare me there are so many. How can I hope to do all that they wish?

And then it stops. As soon as it started. I am calm again. There is no rush. My head no longer feels filled.

Heather says to Miss Scott, “There, I said she should have been sedated.”

Miss Scott swings her hand around and slaps Heather's face. Heather cries out in pain and puts her hands up to defend herself but there are no more blows. “Don't get cute with me, cunt,” Miss Scott says. “You just do as you're told or Mr Dutch will be back to pay you another visit.”

Miss Scott is always kind to me. She unfastens my straps and reaches for the box. I see a 2. I leave to go back to my room and as I do I see Anna and Crystal and Alice and Suzanne in the corridor. I see an 8 and I sleep. I don't dream. Perhaps it is all to the good.

It is evening when I wake again. I see a 1 and go to find the controller. Miss Scott is waiting for me. I see 18, she asks me for a drink. I fetch it for her. As I am pouring the wine Mr Dutch brings Heather in again. I think that Heather must have upset Mr Dutch again. She has been tied up. The ropes look very tight. They criss-cross her chest and pull her arms back behind her. She has a cloth in her mouth again. This time it is stuffed deep into her mouth. There is a rope tied around her head to keep the cloth in place. The rope looks tight, I think it must be painful for her. She is squealing and struggling. Mr Dutch does not look concerned.

Miss Scott reaches for the box. I see a 60. I don't think I have seen that before but I know what I have to do. I kneel before Miss Scott and lift her skirt. I see she is not wearing panties. That is good because I know I have to kiss her, know I have to lick and tongue her. The 60 is very bright and I am happy to do what it tells me. Miss Scott is happy for me to do it too. Mr Dutch seems happy too. He is laughing. Heather is screaming into her cloth. I see a 10 and stop.

Miss Scott speaks to Heather. “See,” she says. “Your programming skills are perfect.”

I see a 51. I haven't seen that for a long time. I remember that it means I have to take Heather to her cell. Mr Dutch gives me the rope that is tied around her neck. “You'd better follow her,” he says to Heather. It seems unfair to put Heather back into her cell. After all Heather has been so kind to me. It's unfair not to take off her ropes, unfair not to remove the cloth. But the numbers didn't ask me to do any of those things. They just said put her back in her cell. I guess they know what's best.