The Commuter Train

It was five forty-five and it was time to get into this rush hour crowd to get on my train back to Connecticut . It was 'crush time' as it was known and I was right in the middle of it. "Fuck it," I thought to myself, "I need a drink. I'll catch the seven back tonight."

I walked the short distance to the train station cafe and sat at the bar where I had an excellent view of the train platform and ordered a vodka and cranberry cocktail. I watched as the six o'clock train pulled out. Then I watched again as the seven o'clock train pulled away. At this point my mind was working again and I knew ... I just knew I wasn't getting on the eight o'clock train either.

"I know what the fuck you're doing Dottie," my mind was telling me. "Who the shit do you think you're kidding ... you're waiting for her ... right?"

"No, no, no," the other part of my mind was saying. "Why the hell would I do that? She's only another woman. Yes, she's pretty and yes, she does do something to me but hell no, I'm just having a few drinks."

There was a 'battle' going on within my thought processes. One part of my mind was trying to be truthful no matter what the outcome would be. The other part was in denial, in the self-preservation mode ... just in case!

I looked at my wrist watch. It was eight thirty and the crowd was thinning out rapidly. I had a good view of the entire platform and my eyes were every where. No Deni ... no where! At eight forty five I left the café and walked slowly up and down the platform. I didn't see her anywhere. My heart started to get that sinking feeling again. I knew time was finally running out and my 'expectations' were on a downturn again.

"See you stupid fucking lady," the self preservation part of my mind started again. "She probably lied to you. Why the hell do you think she would actually tell you her schedule? What the fuck are you to her ... nothing, nothing, nothing!"

At eight fifty-five I finally gave in. The self-preservation part of my mind had won. I got on the train and the first thing I thought was "Deni was right, the train was not crowded and there was a large choice of seats." I picked a seat on the end where I felt no one would want to sit with me. I sat down by the window where I could see the train platform ... just in case ... my last hope!!!

The whistle signifying 'last call to board' blew. No one came on my car and I knew it was over. I gulped loudly as I felt the first movement of the train. I was looking out the window at the platform as we slowly began to move out of the train station.

"May I sit here," I heard the voice ... the voice ... what??? ... that voice!!!

I turned quickly and looked up ... looked up at that beautiful face, those big brown eyes, those lips, the lips that kissed me this morning ... yes, it was her, it was Deni!

"Oh Jesus Christ," I shouted at Deni as my heart started to pound at the first surprise sight of her. I put my head down and brought my hands up to my eyes to rub and squeeze the tears starting to swell up there and to try to cover them up.

"Dottie ... Dottie, are you all right? Is something wrong?" the sweet voice of Deni inquired.

"No Deni ... God no, honey," I answered, the surprise within me starting to subside. "No Deni, I was just thinking of you all day and when I didn't see you I just thought, well, I thought you weren't coming and ..."

"I know Dottie ... I know," Deni cut me off as she sat beside me. "I was thinking of you all day too and I was really running late tonight. But Dottie, why are you crying?"

"Just my reaction at seeing you I guess," I answered. "It's nothing, well, maybe just the happiness within me at seeing you again."

"Oh God, me too," Deni answered in a very gentle and relieved tone of voice. "God, I'm glad to see you too!"

"Listen Deni," I struggled to talk as normally as I could again. "This is my last night in Connecticut . I hate to be alone. Will you have dinner with me? I have an arrangement with a large restaurant that has a key to my condo. I can order ahead and by the time I get home they have my food prepared and on the table. Would you join me for a while tonight and I can drive you home later."

"Wow Dottie ... geeze, that sounds like fun," Deni answered her tone of voice unmistakably sounding enthusiastic. "But are you sure I wouldn't be putting you out ... I mean ... you know ..."

"No, no, Deni honey," I broke in. "God no, I would love to have you as my guest ... my dinner companion."

The ride from the train station to my condo was joyful. We were both acting like two little college aged kids that had just made a new friend. I told Deni about my past, my first marriage, how it ended, and my determination to finish my education and to be successful and independent.

Deni also told me about her past. I was surprised to find out the Deni also had been married. Deni's marriage was even shorter than mine and she said she was very disillusioned about love and was not actually counting on getting married again. We both left it at ... 'well if Mr. Right comes along, we'll see.' I was again surprised when Deni told me her age was forty-two years old because I would have guessed she was in her very early thirties. She was very petite and so much younger looking then I thought I was.

As we drove up to the condo, the doorman met us at front door. He opened the door for Deni and said he would have the car parked for me.

"Geeze Dottie," Deni said, "this is some place." It was obvious by the sound of Deni's voice and the look on her face that she was very impressed.

The lobby of the condo complex was also very impressive with its domed atrium and the scent of fresh flowers filling the air. There was also a residents 'living room' in the lobby with the day's newspapers, fresh coffee and light snacks that was more of a meeting place for those residents seeking company or companionship or just to have someone to talk to. I didn't frequent the 'living room' very much but it also was impressive to Deni.

My condo was on a high floor with a great view. Maid service was also provided for those residents desiring it, and of course, I took advantage of that service so my condo was always immaculately neat when I arrived home which was almost always around eight o'clock .

As soon as I opened the door I could tell by the look on Deni's face that she was standing in awe of the layout of the condo and its beautiful furnishings.

"Listen Deni," I said in a tone of voice to try to make her feel comfortable and not feel as though I was some 'rich bitch' trying to befriend her with my wealth, "none of this belongs to me. It all belongs to the corporation I work for and believe me, the write off they get on taxes is well worth it to them." I didn't want Deni to get caught up in the grandeur of this place. Somewhere within me I wanted Deni to like me as a woman and person ... not for the material things surrounding me.

As usual the restaurant had 'our' dinner on the table. I had ordered New York strip steak and a large salad for tonight. I had also ordered strawberry shortcake and a bottle of light sherry wine. We talked over our dinner and I could tell by the tone of Deni's voice that she was really starting to be more and more comfortable with me. After a few glasses of wine and cleaning up a little I turned to Deni.

"Oh God Deni," I said to her, "you have to see the bathroom in this place. That is just one of the things I'm really going to miss." As I said this I took Deni's arm and led her to the bathroom.

"Holy God Dottie," Deni's said in a surprised tone of voice, "this bathroom is enormous. Wow, what is that a Jacuzzi tub too?"

"It sure is and look at this," I replied to Deni. "The shower part has over 15 high pressure nozzles on all the walls. God, when you have them all on it is like having thousands of fingers and hands scrubbing you."

"Wow," Deni replied in a tone of voice that didn't leave any doubt that she was impressed. Her big brown eyes were opened wide and I could feel myself swelling with pride at being able to 'give' this surprise to her.

I had been looking at Deni at close quarters for over an hour now and the more I looked at her the more I became aroused. She was even more beautiful than I had realized. Her breasts were pushing hard against her white sleeveless top. I found myself wanting oh so badly to see her breasts ... to touch them! My mind was flashing backward in time to my experience with Penny. The more I relived my time with Penny in my mind, the more I wanted Deni. "God," I thought to myself, "I need the feel of a woman; I need to taste her, to touch her, to feel her coming alive with sexual passion." But I also realized it wasn't going to happen unless I made it happen!

"Listen to me Deni," I said to her in a firm voice. "You and I are going to take a shower together. Then we are going so sit in the Jacuzzi and relax."

Deni stared at me. "Well ... I ... ah, ah ... maybe we shouldn't," she replied in a very timid tone of voice. I knew the firm tone of my own voice scared her but I wasn't going to be denied!

I was already reaching over to undo the first few buttons of her white medical issue blouse when I said: "I didn't ask you my pet, I told you," I said to Deni again in a firm yet sexual tone of voice.

I thought Deni's eyes were going to pop right out of her eye sockets. I could tell she was probably wishing right now that she wasn't here, that she had refused my invitation for dinner. Yet something in me also enjoyed the fact that she was frightened. It almost felt to me like I was holding a helpless kitten in my hands and I alone would determine the fate of this kitten.

Deni started to raise her hands up to stop me from unbuttoning her blouse. "Dottie, please ... please, I don't ...," again Deni began to protest in that sweet timid tone of voice before I stopped her.

"Put your hands down and keep them by your side," I practically yelled at Deni. God, she looked right into my eyes with those 'doe' like beautiful eyes and immediately my impression was of 'Bambi' ... Bambi, the little beautiful innocent baby reindeer.

"But Dottie ... I ... I really don't ... ah, please, I don't think ...," Deni began to object again this time with the fear apparent in her voice before I stopped her again. But I noticed that she had put her hands back down by her sides.

"Shut up and stop acting like a child," again I replied to Deni in a very firm voice. I kept unbuttoning her blouse. Her white bra was now visible and it was very obviously to me that Deni indeed had beautiful breasts. The bra cups were full and even straining to keep her twin globes incased in their silky confines. Even more beautiful was the way her cleavage ... the 'valley' between her breasts was so extremely inviting and tantalizing with the promise it seemed to yield. As soon as I unbuttoned the last button on Deni's blouse she started to raise her hands again.

'Slap' ... I raised my hand and slapped Deni's face. I did it more on impulse than anything else. If I had time to think about it, I may not have had the courage to do it. Now I waited ... waited to see Deni's reaction!

"Ooohhhh ... ooohhhh ...," little sobs came from Deni's mouth as I watched the alarmed look on her face. But she didn't say anything, not a word. Rather she again dropped her hands to her sides. I watched as the tears began to swell up in her eyes, those beautiful large brown eyes. I saw the finger marks my hand left on her pretty face and I even surprised myself at just how hard I had hit her. Oh God, how I wanted to hug her. How I wanted so much to kiss her, to reassure her ... even to tell her I was sorry. But I couldn't! I just couldn't! I knew if I was going to have her I had to take the 'lead.' I had to be the 'strong' one, the decision maker, the dominant one! And goodness, I wanted her so bad! But as I watched her begin to tremble, I knew I had to give her a choice. Even though I was really attracted to her, somewhere in the back of my mind I knew it wouldn't work unless Deni was also attracted to me.

"Listen to me Deni," I said to her in a softer tone of voice, "I'm not going keep you here with me against your will." I had pulled Deni's blouse out from her skirt by this time and she was standing there with her head bowed down a little, her bra with its precious 'cargo' bulging so seductively and I could feel my heart pounding at the sight of her innocent beauty. "Go ahead and put yourself together and I will drive you home." I turned and walked out of the bathroom just about convinced that the feelings that had totally consumed me this whole day, the way I had sort of saw in Deni what I had experienced with Penny and was hoping would happen again was just not going to come to pass.

With this realization and as I left the bathroom a blanket of sadness overwhelmed me. Deep inside of me, I wanted to cry so badly yet the 'tough' business woman part of me, the dominant personality I had 'adopted' long ago in order to be successful and independent just wouldn't let me give into my true feelings. Beside that, during our conversations on the train and now at dinner I had sensed a sort of vulnerability in Deni's personality and for some reason it just occurred to me that I had to be 'strong' ... strong for Deni's sake!

A few minutes had passed and there wasn't a sound coming from the bathroom. Then I heard Deni's voice again and it was coming from the bathroom.

"Dottie ... Dottie ...," came the soft, faint voice of Deni.

I walked back to the backroom and stood in the open doorway. Deni had not moved an inch. She hadn't even put her blouse back in her skirt. She had a very sad look on her face and her wonderful eyes looked so despondent.

"Dottie ... ah ... Dottie, I ... ah ... I don't want to leave," Deni struggled to get the words out as though it was the toughest thing she ever did in her life.

Oh God, I felt like I was going to explode! I took a deep breath and I felt my insides swell up with feelings of instant joy. "She doesn't want to leave, she doesn't want to leave," I heard my mind working ... thinking to myself. But I knew I had to be strong. I just had to take advantage of Deni's passivity. In an instant I had convinced myself it had nothing to do with 'love' and yet, it had everything to do with 'love.' I had the deep feeling that if this relationship ever had a chance of working, someone had to be strong and dominant and in this case I realized again it had to be me!

"Oh really," I said to Deni in a lightly taunting tone of voice. "And suppose I don't want you to stay. Suppose I don't want to take a shower with you. Suppose I just want you to get the fuck out of here." I could see the disappointment my words caused Deni. I could see her actually tremble at the 'cutting' sound of my voice.

"Dottie ... Dottie, please ... I'm sorry ... please don't send me away," Deni replied to me her voice breaking up a little as her words filled the bathroom. Almost instantly I could feel the moisture between my legs start to slightly build up. I could feel the anticipation running throughout the very core of my being on hearing the sound of Deni's docile words and the confidence I felt in my ability to control this situation.

I walked over to Deni until I was only a few feet away. I took each side of her already opened blouse and slipped it off her shoulders. She didn't resist. I felt my lower stomach muscles push downward toward my vagina just as they always did at the 'awakening' of my sexual arousal. Deni looked so beautiful, so inviting, standing there in only her bra. She had perfect shoulders that taped down to a very slender waist. Her stomach was flat and I immediately thought of Penny and what a beautiful body she had. Deni was petite and her smallish body made her seem so darn innocent and so delectable. The more I looked at her the more I could feel the stirring in my loins.

"Would you like to open my blouse for me?" I said to Deni in a much softer tone of voice. Deni picked her head up and for the very first time we looked directly into one another's eyes from such a close distance. I knew at that moment just by looking into Deni's eyes that she sensed this wasn't going to be just another ordinary shower. I could feel it in her hands as they shook a little when she began to unbutton my blouse.

"Ah ... yes," Deni answered as she began to unbuttoned my blouse. I waited until Deni nervously undid the last button of my blouse, then I slipped it off my shoulders and watched Deni's eyes as they lowered to bashfully view my bra. I had worn a black bra this morning and now I was glad I did. My breasts were larger and heavier than Deni's and the contrast between her white bra and my black bra only added excitement to the already enthralling atmosphere that was starting to build up between us.

I would have liked to go slower with Deni, to sort of seduce her and to make it more teasingly exciting for her but my own enthusiasm was reaching a rapidly increasing level and I just didn't have the patience. It had been so long since I was with another woman and the anticipation was just too much.

"Deni, finish undressing and I will do the same," I said to her in a much more pleasing yet stern tone of voice. "I'll get everything ready for us."

Deni didn't answer. She just started to take her shoes off. I turned away from her but I could see her reflection in the floor to ceiling mirrors on the far wall. I watched her take the last of her clothes off until she was left in only her bra and panties. I too had undressed down to my bra and panties. I had also worn black panties this morning and again the contrast between the whiteness of Deni's underclothes and my black underwear added a sort of dominance/submissive ambiance in the room. It seemed to emphasize the color 'black' indicated something that was 'forbidden' while the color white emphasized a sort of 'innocence.'

I could see Deni blushing again as she stood there in her undergarments. I knew she was just too embarrassed to go any further. "Well," I said to Deni, "are you going to take a shower in your bra and panties?" I said it in a tone of voice that a 'teacher' would use toward a 'student' who wasn't doing as she was instructed. But she still didn't move to finish undressing.

Chapter III—The Commuter Train

I moved over to the Jacuzzi and shower combination and started the hot water running into the Jacuzzi. There was a glass door separating the shower from the Jacuzzi and I started the hot water running in the shower too. It was a wonderful bathing setup. One could take a shower, open the glass door and step right into the Jacuzzi. After I had poured perfumed bubble bath into the Jacuzzi, I walked over to Deni.

Deni still hadn't moved! She just stood there with her hands down at her sides. I reached into the shower and took a long handled back washing brush from the shower rack and as I did so, I walked in back of the silent Deni. Then without any warning I raised the brush up high and brought down hard on Deni's ass cheeks.

"Whaaccckkk." The sound of the head of the brush striking Deni's ass filled the bathroom with sound and that sound seemed to ricochet off the walls. I didn't spare anything when I swung the brush and when it struck the softness of the flesh on Deni's ass cheeks it seemed to sink in an inch of more.

"Ahhh ... oh, God, ... oh, God, ... ooohhhh ... ooohhh," Deni cried out. "Oh, God ... oh, that hurt," she said again this time between deep breaths of air and with little sobs in her voice.

"Deni, you are acting like a very disobedient little girl and if that's the fucking way you are going to act, that's the way I'm going to treat you," I said to her in a very harsh tone of voice. I surprised myself again at just how hard I had hit Deni with the brush head.

"Oh damn ... oh God, I'm sor ... I'm sorry ... please Dottie, please don't hit me again ... please, I'm sorry," Deni blurted out and for the first time as I moved around to the front of Deni, I could see the little flow of tears on her face cheeks. I could feel my heart beating faster and faster. I knew I had hurt her yet I also knew I had to remain the strong one. I swallowed hard. This feeling of 'dominance' had over taken me. And the acknowledgement that the 'little girl' in Deni's personality was surfacing only served to spur me on.