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Chapter 12 – Wave/Particle Duality of Light
I ache for my legs back as I watch the ringing bell chase my Grade 10 class from the room. "Un-peg me at least", I howl. Not one head even turns. I twist and turn trying to get my legs off the tables. All the pegs hurt but the two clipped to my bum hole rim are particularity distracting. The room is cloudy from the white mist clouding the microscope projector. My Grade 11 class isn't for another hour. How I can survive this position for the duration is beyond my imagination. I retreat to my fantasy, real world discouraged. Her red bra cups resurrect in my mind. She stares and quietly asks, "Are you ready"? My pokey stirs. She starts to move the cups out and away. My pokey jerks. I see the edges of her breasts come into focus. I hump crystal ball air. Only her nipples are now unexposed. My fast moving pokey is about to heaven. Eyes closed, picture sharp, her nipples are almost uncovered. Sperm pumps from my balls into my pokey. Everything is perfectly timed.
"Mr. Jefferson, how dare you". Breasts disappear as my eyes snap open to observe Miss Kali furiously staring at my swinging crystal ball. She unlatches the microscope/projector exposing the meat of the experiment. "It is apparent that we need exceptional measures for a man who can't control a pokey even when we try to help by tying him up and distract him with pegs." Miss Kali unclips the pegs, lowers the chains and helps me stand. My legs buckle until circulation is restored. Miss Kali decides, "Perhaps the error is punishing the man instead of the pokey. Come with me." I don't move. Her reasoning is deeply flawed.
Fingernails imbed themselves into Pokey. "Argggggggg! Stop, I'm coming, I'm coming". She cruelly sets a brisk pace to the kitchen, nails jerking me along. Inside she grabs a jar of honey and without missing a step swings out a side door almost making me lose pokey in the process. Out we march to the playground where the school is assembled for sports activities.
The girls, seeing Miss Kali's fury, know something is up and follow her to the end of the field. She is the pied piper and pokey is the flute. She stops, drops the honey jar, and starts to play the flute two handed. All the notes are quarter notes. It feels like my pokey is in a shredder. Without missing a beat she shouts, "Girls, this pokey was trying to satisfy itself on Mr. Jefferson's punishment day. You will now witness how a pokey is tamed." She drops to her knees taking pokey and the rest of me down with a bump on a large mound of dirt. "Girls, hold his arms and legs". My bum resting on the mound of dirt is the highest point of my body as the girls stretch my limbs into a figure X. Shredded pokey wavers like a bundle of wheat trying to stay above the fray. Miss Kali pours the jar of honey onto the shredded wheat. It drips until my balls are also covered. Talk about a sticky wicket. With satisfaction, Miss Kali steps away and says, "Mr. Jefferson, you will stay in this position until you can convince the girls and I that pokey will not be self-indulgent again without permission."
Miss Kali must be off her rocker. This punishment isn't even close to what I've already been through today. In fact, the honey is rather soothing finding all the little rips that Miss Kali's nails caused and lubricating them back whole. I feel a tickling where my bum rests on the ground. Something is crawling up my crack towards my balls. Two tiny some things follow. A pyramid of tiny feet is right behind these leaders. Mystified, I raise my head as the leader comes into view; a green ant, a green biting ant. This isn't an ordinary mound of dirt. It's an anthill, a biting anthill. I shout, "Miss Kali, pokey will behave. He will never come again without your ok. Please Miss Kali stop this now."
It was too late; the leader tears a chunk of honey along with a bit of my balls. The two fellows behind dig into the honey ball. The rest of the pyramid catches up and my honey ball turns green. Serious gorging ensues. My ball earthscape is landscaped to a cratered moonscape. I whimper with agony. They swarm to the honey coated shredded wheat. Hundreds of bites per second munch pokey honey. Green ants find a reservoir of honey in pokey's eye. They drown in happiness biting deeply into his corona. Honey drips into my bum hole. The hoard dutifully follows. My interior is set alight. The greening of pokey continues. Half mad, I drive out all knowledge that women have breasts and choke, "Miss Kali, Girls, pokey is yours."
Miss Kali pours alcohol over the green stalk. Biting pain transfers to searing pain as the ants de-metabolize. "Girls, this will ensure our pokey doesn't get infected. Remember, with ownership, comes responsibility." Miss Kali lightly touches pokey with her fingertip. He winces in pain. "Girls, for the rest of the day don't play with our new friend here. He needs a day of rest. Come along Mr. Jefferson, it's time for your next class."
Hands and legs free, the girls help my overcome mind into higher space. Broken, pokey and I follow.
Deep inside something starts to grow. It's ugly. It's black. Hatred. I latch on. Even black is better than nothing. I might not own pokey anymore but I haven't given up my mind. There will come a day when I turn the tables at this school and on that day I'll get pokey back. Nursing this core, I straighten my shoulders no longer ashamed of who or what I am. My turn will come. It will come.
I stand at the front with Miss Kali as my Grade 11 class silently files in with worried faces. I wish they were happy. Revenge is sweeter against unadulterated evil. Miss Kali observes my wooden face and soothingly says, "It's over now, Mr. Jefferson. Just behave and we'll have no more of this sort of trouble."
She will find out the meaning of trouble soon enough. Once I decide to plan something, nothing on earth can stop me. "You may go Miss Kali, I have a class to teach." Shocked, she takes her leave.
I initiate, "Let's get this over with. What punishment has your twisted brains dreamt up for me." Let them do as they wish; my body is not in my control so why even try. My brain waves they can't scratch.
Olga takes command, "Mr. Jefferson, I can understand your resentment given what just happened. The punishment that Miss Kali dealt out was her decision and her decision alone. I for one do not agree with the severity." The other girls murmur their agreement. "In this class, Mr. Jefferson, your pokey belongs to you. We give it back. We'll let you come as often as you want."
Tears come to my eyes. My hatred melts a little bit. Not all females are evil. I must remember to be a little bit gentler with this class come revenge time. My hand unconsciously starts to soothe a traumatized pokey. "Thank you Miss Olga, I appreciate the courtesy. Today I want this class to determine whether a photon of light is a particle or a wave." My pokey cries at finding a friend.
The girls melt seeing pokey return home. Olga comes up to me and says, "We all want to help pokey Mr. Jefferson, just climb up on the desk on your hands and knees and we'll keep him happy for you during the lesson." I gratefully get up on the desk ass waving at the girls as Olga takes over pokey duties gently tickling him under the neck. French Canada comes up front and tickles the other side of his neck. Pokey luxuriates in sensation. This sure beats ants in the pants.
Kim, pondering the problem, strikes lucky. "If a photon is a wave then if we send it through two slits it should create an interference pattern where the crests and troughs cancel each other out." She carefully cuts two slits in a piece of cardboard and places it on the desk in front of a happy swaying bum. Ordering the lights off, a photon emitter hits the slits with photon after photon building alternating bands of light and dark on my bum. "Obviously, light is a wave", Kim observes.
Francis, signaling another girl to take over her stroking says, "That's strange, if one fires a gun the bullet can only go through one slit or the other. Let's put a photon detector in front of each slit and see if we can see a bullet. If we can, then light is a particle." Photon detectors are placed in front of each slit. The photon emitter fires single photons again. This time only two bands of light show, one from each slit. The girls are confused. Without the detector photons are a wave but with the detector photons are particles.
I'm having trouble concentrating on the experiment; pokey is feeling great. He is electrifying my brain with pure pleasure. Olga smiles, "Come for me Mr. Jefferson. It's ok, we said you are allowed to in this class." She detaches her hand and goes to the back of the desk. She slides her lips over pokey and gives him a contented suck. "Come for me Mr. Jefferson. Miss Kali will never know." That's all it took. I had an opportunity to spite Miss Kali and make Pokey happy? No contest. I explode in Olga's mouth. She laps it up hungrily. The girls crowd around. What was it like? How did it taste? Did you like it? Olga looks up, eyes bright. It was a bit salty, but quite tasty. Francis wasn't going to let this experience go. She latches her lips around pokey and starts to slurp noisily.
Olga returns to business. "Well, if we don't measure where the photon goes it's a wave, but if we do measure where it goes then it's a particle. A wave collapses to a particle when it's measured? What can this mean?" I try to answer but pokey stimulation distracts me mightily. I detonate into Francis's greedily sucking mouth happily thinking about Miss Kali's fury when she finds out. A third girl decides she would like a taste. Olga postulates, "Well, let's see what happens if we put another photon detector behind the first one, but upside down. So when the first detector spots it, the second one will wipe out the signal before it hits the slit. That way, the slit won't know we detected a photon approaching it." Pokey takes a bit longer to rise to the occasion with the third girl but with avid determination she gets her tasty mouthful. The fourth girl latches on.
The detectors and the detector wipers are applied to the slits. The fourth girl milks her share and is replaced by the fifth. The photon emitter is turned on. Alternating bands of light and dark reappear on my bum. The girls are confounded as a slowing pokey deposits another load. As the sixth girl applies herself, Kim says, "So when we first measured where the photon was, the wave collapsed and became a particle and the photon only went through one slit instead of two. But as soon as we told the particle we didn't know where it was, the wave came back. This is weird." Pokey, although aching, gamely fires pokey juice into the sixth girl's wet mouth. Girl seven tries to get him hard and when he fails to respond, swallows him with disappointment. The tightness of her throat brings him rearing back. Girl seven deep throats him with pride. My pride mingles with her pride. Girl eight, a fast learner, swallows him right away and squeezes out four thimblfuls. Girl nine gets three and ten only one after tightening her throat as hard as she can. Pokey feels drained. Girl eleven feels him explode but the explosion is dry. A dull pain spreads through pokey as Girl twelve swallows her treat.
Francis says, "Let's put the detector wiper behind the slit. We'll know which slit the photon went through so the photon can't trick us this time."
A dry blast punches Girl twelve's throat. Backwash lightning hits my balls making me gasp in pain. "I've come enough girls, thank you, that will do." Girl thirteen must be deaf with eagerness. She consumes pokey like she hasn't eaten for days. The detector wipers are put behind the slits. Alternating bands of light and dark appear on my bum. Another dry discharge, another lightning bolt. "Please girls, pokey can't take any more. He's milked dry." Girl fourteen fastens on. She can't get him hard. I'm saved. She whips a finger into my bum hole not realizing it might interfere with the experiment. My prostrate is pressed. Pokey jumps back into action.
Olga shakes her head in disgust, "What is this light thing. Even when we know it went through one slit and not the other all we have to do is pretend we don't know and it partially goes through the other slit as well." Girl sixteen gets her buckle and passes flaccidville to Girl seventeen who needs two fingers to get the same effect. Eighteen takes 3 fingers and girl 19 has to use four fingers for over 3 minutes before action. The lightning bolts keep increasing in magnitude. My balls shrivel to peanut size. My bum hole grows to lemon size.
Francis knows when she needs help. "Let's ask Mr. Jefferson". Chinatown takes a hand in things. Kim, the 20 th and last girl punches her fist deep into my bum hole while drinking in pokey to the root. She moves her fist in time to her gulping throat. My final dry discharge backlashes the mother of all wars. The girls stare as waves of energy bulge down my pokey to my balls. They fry as I eke out, according to quantum mechanics,
Every probability wave extends throughout all of space, throughout the entire universe. Even if a particle's probability wave drops very close to zero outside some small region, that wave somewhere in any galaxy still has a nonzero value so there is still a non zero chance that the particle can be found there.
The girls stare at each other. Olga concludes, "Everything, even particles, start out as probability waves. Information collapses the wave causing the particle to form." The girls all look at pokey. "That's right", Olga whispers, "The opposite is also true, when the particle information disappears the waves come back."
The girls crowd around me telling me pokey is welcome to come in this class anytime, no matter what Miss Kali says. I don't have the heart to tell them my tiny inch-worm just wants to find some hole to crawl into where he can hibernate for a decade or two. Ten particle girls smack their lips as they leave. The wave ten girls resolve to be first in line tomorrow. I wonder why the girls have strange lumps on their chests. Dismissing it as some sort of teenage female prank, my dark side plots. How am I going to grow these seeds of Miss Kali mutiny? I tell my devil to wake up.
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