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Climaxes And Decisions Chapter 5
Finally the structured six days and nights pass and Friday comes. For the first time since the evening you arrived, after the great breakfast, the three of you sit and relax together and put this all in perspective. You have learned a great deal about her and her life and she about you and yours. What is most surprising is how similar your lives have been. You both filled the same nearly identical roles. You and she have been little girls, daughters, first sweethearts, students, first employees, fiances, young careerist's, first married, and have been mothers, wives, occasional activists, and have learned about inequalities towards women and the impossibility of doing it all...and perhaps you have learned of separation and divorce and of earning frustrations and gone through the empty house syndrome as the children moved on in life. Your body has explored similar changes and your views of life and the world have become more complex...and clearly, both of you have realized that though you have generally been good women in every sense, you have rarely explored your own intimate passions and fantasies. So, in mid life, either you go forward or you don't.
Both of you reached the same positive decision. You both appeared at the Annie's Retreat last Friday which now seems like the long distant past.
You are now a different woman then you were seven days ago. You have allowed yourself the challenge to explore freely and throughly what most excites and arouses your body. You have finally let your guard down and allowed a stranger to learn how to please you..and, perhaps for the first time in your life you have learned how to make love to a woman...and to a woman amazingly like you! Women sometimes do not realize how unbelievably indescribably difficult it is for a man to learn how to excite and please a woman. You may believe you are clear and easy to understand and that any idiot could pick up on your signals. In fact, nothing remotely like that is true. Yes, males are not very bright or perceptive about the signals women send but in fact, women are confusing to love. There clearly are several different women living inside you. They apparently take turns being in charge of your expressions and words. They do not speak in the same voice or act in the same way. Any given male may fall in love with one of you, and even like another of you, but some of the women in you will confuse, frustrate, and terrify him. Also, of course, he will never know which one of you may come out next, much less what her mood might be. As you may now realize, it's quite a challenge learning how to turn on another woman and eventually wear her out with her own passion. And this is the honeymoon week. This has nothing to do with the maintenance of excitement over decades of sharing the stress of life.
Yet here you are and this is the day she tells you how she felt on the three nights she was your student and you tell her how you felt as her student the alternative nights.
Each of you has shared your thoughts and feelings with Annie but until today you have only shared them with her. Now you get to hear each others true thoughts.
You now know how much pleasure can be possible when you allow your extraordinary body to play with forbidden fantasies you have enjoyed since childhood. Peggy Lee's haunting song question "Is That All There Is?" now has very different answers for both of you . You have freed yourself to explore new areas of growth and exploration and enjoyment that have been put off for decades. You will never again limit your pleasure as you did for so long. But in actual honesty, neither of you is certain what to do with this magic free weekend. It is Friday. you don't have to be anywhere until Monday. What are the possibilities?
Within a few miles of Annie's Retreat is one of entertainment capitals of the world. Over fifty theatres offer over a hundred live musical shows every day. There are lakes and forested hills everywhere. You are free and alive and may be at the single healthiest most exciting moment so far in your life. Clearly, there is more to explore.
And, every part of your adventure has been captured. A library of your life and her life and your first adventures together exists. That entire library will be yours and hers and ours forever. It is possible that some version or portions of this amazing voyage can and should be shared with select women. Our struggle will be to try to get these elements together in some form comfortable and acceptable to all of us.
Life can be both hard and sweet but it is too short when it goes well. Sharing is how we reach out and help one another through the dark and lonely parts. You, at this moment, are alone. You have read this screenplay on your monitor. Perhaps you will print it and read it again in a different chair or room and mood. Most of all, perhaps you will share your thoughts with Annie. It is lonely writing and saying words no one answers or responds to. At least one of the women living in you would like to spend time at Annie's Retreat. Other inner women may be frightened. Only you hear those voices. Days and nights will pass but they will continue to sneak up on you and speak out. And, in all honesty, how harmful can a simple e-mail be?
Thank you for reading this. We are here for you when you are ready to take the challenge.
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