Apples and Oranges

15.

I had almost called twice but kept backing away from it. In a fit of pique, I had tried to take off the damn gold choker he had given me. I discovered that he had locked it on me and that it was too close to cut off. No longer hesitating, I'd jumped in the car and slammed out of the drive.

As I rode the elevator up, I was nervous. Even when I was in the right, I hated confrontations.

I arrived at the top floor and found him holding his door open for me. I made to enter but he held an arm out and handed me two clothes hangers. I looked at them stupidly. They were so irrelevant to the issue at hand that I was bewildered.

"What are these for?" I asked in puzzlement.

"For your clothes. Don't you remember promising that you would not wear clothes in my home?"

"Are you crazy? That promise was given in another lifetime. What you did to me in the park destroyed any promise between us."

"Very well then."

As Alan said this he started to close his door. I could not believe it but apparently he meant to leave me standing out in the hall.

"Damn you! Fine I don't care whether we talk naked or wearing clown suits! As least let me come in out of the god damned hall?"

"You are fine there."

Fuming, I yanked my clothes off where I stood and slipped off my under wear. I wadded all of it into a ball and dumped it in his arms. Naked, I strode past him into the living room and sat down with my arms and legs crossed, glaring. The bastard smiled at me and tossed my clothes back out in the hall and closed the door. Still smiling, he came and sat in a chair across from me.

"Alan, we have to talk …but the first thing you must do is unlock this damn gold chain you put around my neck."

"Not yet. I can't talk to you if you are going to wear your hair in that spinsterish bun again."

"For god's sake, Alan after what you did to me, you want to talk about my hair?"

"I don't want to talk about it, Miara. I want it down."

Hair down or up didn't really matter to me. I clawed the pins loose and shook it down over my shoulders. Instead of arguing over these little power trips of his, I would just go along. Eventually, if he had a spark of decency, he would tell me the identity of my attacker. Hopefully, he had not just bribed some filthy street person.

"That is much better, Miara. Now what are you so worked up about, darling?"

"Alan, we made love together. You made me feel close to you and then you had some creep sexually assault me. Who was it, Alan? How can you sit there and even look me in the eye?" I demanded.

"Excuse me, Miara, but before we discuss this further, would you hold your legs open for me? It distracts me when you sit with your legs crossed. There is something dishonest about it. And stop hugging your breasts like a silly school girl!"

Staring at him, to let him know that I was serious and wanted some answers, I uncrossed my legs and folded my hands I my lap.

"No, no. I said open. Come on, or we'll be here all night and take your hands out of your lap and place them behind your neck. Stick your tits out. Don't be so ashamed of your body."

Determined not to get side tracked arguing over his quirks, I sat as he wished. I was still looking right at him, waiting for an answer. He was looking at me too but not at my eyes. His gaze was wandering over my body, appraising my breasts and lingering on my exposed sex. Against my will, I felt myself getting red and my nipples filling. I could see that he was at last ready to address the issue but an acute awareness of my body was beginning to distract me.

"The man you are so worried about is a friend of mine. You needn't worry about any diseases. I wanted to do it for you myself but I knew it wouldn't have worked if I had played the part."

"Worked?" I asked, numbly.

"You had to live out that fantasy to rid yourself of all that guilt. You felt guilt for having been excited by what you saw. You felt guilt because you hid there and watched them. Instead of getting help for that woman, you stayed there and played with your little pussy while she was having her throat raped. That is why for you, the real gut wrenching pleasure of sex will always be associated with coercion. You have to be force fed before you derive any nourishment from it."

I was not happy with what he was saying but I had to consider the possibility that he was right. Even hearing this awful judgment of myself was making me wet. I strove against it but my ass had begun to move against the texture of the settee. All my self-righteous exterior anger had been comforting but it was becoming apparent that my inner feelings were different. Alan was making me wonder if down deep I was nothing but a cum hungry slut.

"You'd like to be angry at me," Alan continued, "But I was nearby and saw you. The moment you got your mouth full of cock, you couldn't keep your hands off your cunt. When it was over, you weren't crying because your mouth was full of strange cum; you were crying because you had enjoyed it."

Alan was right, damn it! It was just so humiliating to hear him say it. Humiliating, yet so arousing! Acknowledging my nasty, sluttish nature was making me want to touch myself.

"You were right to come here tonight, Miara. It is time for you to find out who you really are. Your passionate body wants to challenge your dispassionate mind. Are you ready to let them fight it out?" Alan asked.

"Yes." I whispered, afraid that that my body had already won.

Alan blindfolded me as he had that first night. Again I was led by the chain around my throat and laid out on the bed. The sensation of helplessness occasioned by the securing of my wrists and ankles brought on the same thrill of anticipation tinged with fear. I felt Alan's fingers delve into my pussy and I could hear the wet sound of my arousal.

"I can see you are already excited. I want this to be a real test though. I want the outcome to convince you once and for all that your arid little life is turning you into one of those oranges you hate. A dry, fibrous empty fruit, wrapped in a bright, happy looking peel."

Alan looked hard at me as if willing me the strength to refuse what he was about to offer.

"Promise me that you will try your best not to come. You need to think of anything you are made to feel as being disgusting and foreign to your nature.""

"Yes." I answered, a trifle more assertively.

"There is another woman in the room with us, Miara."

"There is another woman here? Now?" I asked, startled.

"Yes. Her name is Tanna."

"And you think I'm like her. That I'm just some toy you picked for an hours fucking amusement! Now I know what you thought. I can hear you thinking to yourself- 'I'll fuck the silly, little, innocent teacher, dabble around in her head a bit and when she gets to be a drag, why I'll l just dump her! And now you've found some other poor bitch to…"

"Slap"

Alan's palm shocked me into silence. I didn't want to cry but I couldn't stop the tears and the blindfold held their salt to my eyes.

"Her a poor bitch? Likening her to you? Hardly. Remember? You are nothing but a dry, tasteless orange. Tanna here, although you can't see her, is a ripe, red, juicy, poisonous apple. As a professor, you should know that apples and oranges can't be compared."

Without sight, my world had shrunk to the size of his voice and his taunts filled it completely. I could almost feel my self-esteem shrinking under the lash of his words. The feelings of fearful anticipation and sensual hunger grew, as though they were feeding off my vanishing ego. His praise of the unseen woman, led my imagination to conjure up a vision of total femininity, against whom I would never be worthy.

Tanna's legs are lithe and lean. They belong on a Paris runway with the summer collection. Yours are merely two pale tent poles for your closet full of long, drab skirts. Tanna's breasts invite a caress and her nipples put me in mind of sugar-swollen berries begging to be bitten. Yours have an unloved look about them, like pale prisoners, newly released from their harsh, elastic prisons. Tanna's pussy trails a scent of invitation and its release is so generous that it slicks her thighs. The lips of your cunt, Miara, wear a stingy sneer and seem to begrudge every trickle of moisture they produce."

Alan had been punctuating his stinging remarks with progressively harder pinches to my unprotected nipples, leaving them tender and alive. Next I felt his hand slide down over my belly and come to rest in my pubic hair. I could feel him twirling his fingers through it and another set of nerve endings came awake.

"Have you ever become aroused by another woman, Miara?"

"Alan, you know I'm not a lesbian. Of course I never have."

I felt the bed shift and then the sensation of long hair brushing light over my face and breasts. I knew it must be the woman he had been describing. I could smell her perfume. She seemed to be hovering over me. I could feel the air moving as she drifted above my blindfold. There was no contact other than the feathery brush of her hair on my skin. I felt goose bumps break out as my nerves reacted to this faint caress.

"Alan. You win. Untie me."

There was no answer. Had he just left me at this woman's mercy?

"Come on, Alan. You've proved your point."

The sound of my unanswered voice was too lonely and I gave myself over to the silence. It was natural to react to any stimulus, I assured myself, remembering the saleswoman who had fitted my stockings. Her touch had aroused my senses too but I had not found her attractive. Or had I?

My mind went blank as I became aware of a light touch moving over my face. It felt as though the fingers of a blind person were delicately tracing a picture of me. In darkness myself, I wanted to reciprocate but my hands were bound.

The touch left my face and slid along my throat. It traced out my collarbones and trailed down between my breasts. I felt the touch pause at my navel, as if pondering its next direction. I felt it climbing back across my belly and my nipples seemed to get even harder in anticipation of its arrival. They were disappointed though, for the fingers left my body.

My right nipple then felt hot breath on it. I pictured the open mouth just above it. I couldn't help but wish that it would descend and suckle me. Something warm and wet covered it. Saliva, I thought. As the air cooled my damp nipple, it began to ache.

Something brushed my lips. My tongue reached to identify it and found that it was her nipple. I turned my mouth away but the insistent contact followed my lips. The hot breath was more intense on my own nipple. It came to me that if I would accept the strange nipple at my lips, my own would then be bathed in pleasure. Surrendering, I sucked the hard little bud into my mouth and immediately mine was engulfed. The action of my mouth and tongue were duplicated exactly and it was as though I was outside my body and nursing at my own breast. A touch began teasing the edges of my labia. The whole expanse of me was being inundated by warm and wet sensations and I knew I was lost.

The nipple was pulled from my clinging lips and the wet mouth left my breast. The hot breath returned, this time between my legs. Of their own volition, my hips strained up toward the teasing mouth. I felt the hair around my open cunt move as she blew gently into me. At the same moment my nostrils filled with the smell of pussy and her pubic hair tickled my nose. I realized that I was being offered the same quid pro quo.

Why fight it, I thought. I knew I desperately wanted the mouth that was just out of reach to devour me. All I had to do was give in and the release my nerves were screaming for would be granted. My need was stronger than my pride.

"Okay." I told her.

"Okay what, slut?"

Her voice was soft but the mockery in it had a hard edge. Until now there had been a dreamlike aura surrounding me but her voice sharpened my urgency. The smell of her seemed more pungent.

"Lower your pussy. I'll lick you. I want to come."

"I don't believe you really want to please my beautiful pussy."

" I really do. I want to."

I felt her move away from me and her warm breath was suddenly in my ear. Then my nipple was being squeezed. The pressure slowly increased until I was biting my lip to keep from crying out.

"Beg." She hissed in my ear.

"Yes! Yes, I'm begging you. Please let me suck your beautiful pussy."

My nipple was released. I waited for her to lower herself onto my mouth. I was eager to please her now.

I heard small sounds that I couldn't interpret and then heard the door close. As the silence lengthened, I knew I had been left alone. I began weeping in frustration. I had begged a woman to let me eat her cunt and she had rejected me as worthless.

"Alan!"

I screamed into the darkness for him but there was no answer.